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show feet and tease [Multi Goal]
Date: February 16, 2023
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Therapy and no one is perfect. Have a goal, do things, block the other person. Sitting and thinking is what makes you go down then limit that as much as possible. Take your recovery in pieces come to terms with one thing at a time. Also being nice to yourself helps. repeat one nice thing after a while when it stops sucking to get through the repetition add another one and so on and so on.
Fuck dude. That's bad. What you said at the end. I guess I should just move on. I'm sorry if I've offered anyone with this post but I really needed some clarity. I don't want to ruine anyone's lives here.
I wanted to help by being on the mortgage and split everything evenly I even offered to help pay down payment and closing costs because we’ve been talking investments and the future pretty much since the beginning but his apprehension to put me on this makes me think he really doesn’t see a future with me.
You cannot help someone who refuses to be helped, or refuses to even acknowledge they need help.
Get rid of him. The guy not the cat.
All the more reason to go low contact
Good grief, break up already.
If she “steals” your friend, then B wasn’t really your friend in the first place. People can have more than one friend (obviously).
I would say to put it out of your mind. Concentrate on your exam. Whatever is going to happen, will happen. Worry about it once there’s something to even worry about.
I just texted her about it earlier talking about how this crossed my boundaries. She's still asleep so can't call her yet. but thank you!
Yeah for sure don’t want to get caught up in what he got going on
See a therapist to get untrauma bonded
Ask him to show you where he got that information. Also any details about the baptist churches and when they were founded. Maybe he will discover the 1600 year gap in his thinking.
Thanks for your response ?
I have seen a therapist before but stopped because she stopped practicing, I started looking for another about 2 weeks ago so that's a good place to start.
I will clarify that I typically do more of the childminding (I am usually the one responsible when we go out, I'll often take kid out on the weekend to give wife a break, I do most of the school dropoffs etc). The struggle is our lack of alone time together; we've tried babysitters, family, playdates you name it, but even when we do get time alone we are both so mentally drained it's usually not quality time so doesn't satisfy her. I have many issues that I've been suppressing which makes it very hot for me to be really present at the best of times so this is just doubling down.
I hope I've learnt my lesson about lying… the reasons for lying are usually wanting to avoid conflict very rarely because I knew what I did was wrong. Her reaction isn't so over the top but it sometimes invites arguments that I can't win that just make me feel awful (for example, if I eat something like KFC she'll react by explaining how unhealthy it is. I agree it's unhealthy, so don't really have a good reason for eating it apart from just feeling like it and that is usually not a good enough reason, so it ends with a “please try to be better” kind of thing. If I were stronger I'd say “I know it's unhealthy, I just had a craving for it. I don't have it often and it's not a pattern so it's really not a big deal.”)
Get better friends. This one is an arsehole.
He was never that interested . You living far away was the appeal to him. He could test the waters of communicating with someone else and seeing how it felt without having to commit to anything least of all a face to face meet. The moment you tried to initiate that was the moment he wanted to back right off. He got what he needed from you. And you got used as a safe cushion that could easily be discarded. No feelings were involved on his part.
I agree. We all need to discuss our relationships with a trusted friend.
I have no idea what you look like. I don’t know if you’re “fit” or not, depending on your definition. You say he’s been treating you badly since you’ve gained weight yeah? Does his dirty talk make you feel sexy and aroused? Or does it make you feel bad. Is this how he usually dirty talks? I can’t answer that for you. If you wanna stay with him and figure it out, go for it. You’ve already tried telling him it upsets you and he finds your distress funny. He’ll decide if he wants to stop bullying you, or you can remove yourself from the situation. Love isn’t enough.
Agreed. I'm really annoyed by all these women declaring “all women” would react the same. Da fuq? Not I nor most of my women friends would react like that. At all.
Adorable update. Happy for you both.
It’s going to hurt that she split up with you. Allow yourself time to grieve the relationship.
Understand that she chose this person of you and some of her friends. She is so closed minded to his faults and would not listen to fact put in front of her and made her excuses for him.
It might be difficult to see right now, because you are hurting, but you have dodged a massive bullet.
He could NEVER do anything wrong in her eyes. Throw a wedding, marriage and children into that. How much control would he have over those? You are better clear.
He hated you so much because he could not manipulate you to his advantage. At this point he could only manipulate your girlfriend.
Please, find your self-worth and self-respect and flipping leave already. You are a doormat and you are drunk and high.. get a grip on life and reality already.
Sorry for being so blunt.
She already has people in mind she wants to fuck at best she is proposing this so she can sleep with them without the guilt of cheating at worst she's trying to retroactively cover up for already cheating. Either way she doesn't respect you or your relationship her being “bipolar” is not a justification and you should leave.
I think the downvotes are just because the comment got posted multiple times.
Fair
First off, congratulations on your graduation! I hope you have a wonderful day and celebration! This day is about you not your father.
My father and I have been LC for years and years now. Never stopped him from coming to my graduations, all three of them. My sister invited him to my grad school graduation and she and I fought for over a year after about her inviting him behind my back. It took a while for my family to respect that I want little to nothing to do with my father but they respect it now.
My advice would be to write him a letter and explain clearly that’s he’s not invited and to no longer contact you going forward. I would also make sure that everyone who’s invited knows that he is specifically not invited. Be clear with them so they understand you’re serious.
Best of luck!
It’s. 3.5 hour drive, that would be easier if one person drove the three of us right?
No one is actually justifying a potential affair. If you read what is actually written you will see the majority consensus is that it's no wonder she doesn't want sex when she's likely taking on the majority of the household and childcare burdens whilst also working. A common theme in many marriages sadly it seems.
You should start seeing him and show him that there's a whole lot more he could get out of life. You both could be happy together.