Throw Away Account.
I (31M) will be marrying my (31F) in 10 weeks and she is bothered by three year on-going drama between one of my groomsman's wives
So there is a lot of history here so i'll try to sum it up, this girl Sarah used to be friends with my Fiance, my Fiance was in her wedding, they were friends, we used to all hang out the four of us, with my good friend i'll call Bob who is in my wedding party. Not only us four but a big group of my friends and their SO all hanging out having good times etc.
My Fiance and this girl's relationship started to go south, Sarah parties a lot, so do we but my finace was looking for more of a closer friend to not just party with all the time. In short some really bad shit went down, names were called, fights happened, screaming mostly to the fault of my Fiance. Sarah moved on to party/make friends with other girls and my Fiance was left behind never to be called on, invited out etc..
For a long time I blamed my Fiance for saying mean things to Sarah's, citing she caused the fallout and her aciton's and nasty behavior/outbursts of pent up anger lead to this, she was upset because Sarah was using her as a dumping ground for all her problems, and would then go party with other girls (some who were friends/wifes of my friend group). I also had a part to play hiding my drinking and staying out late with these people when my fiance just wanted to stay in, she stopped getting the phone calls before bad shit was said, she kinda went off on her one night and made Sarah Cry. – She did apologize though, and for a whileI thought things were fine but they never really hashed things out and neither wanted to concede any wrong doing seriously so their friendship died.
Fast Forward three years and the events from then.
Everyone Knows what happened – even people who were never involved, total strangers
My fiance was disliked by alot of people for what happened – this is on her but the events have lingered so long it's almost ridiculous how people keep brining up the drama, it's almost like it's being kept alive because Sarah is clearly talking so much about it still.
Sarah ran her mouth so badly that everyone knew the dirt and will not see it any other way
Such a case was built up against my fiance that she doesn't even want to be around these people anymore because Sarah has made herself out to be such a victim from her actions
Sarah went out of her way to make sure my fiance was excluded from group chats, social events, that what she did was known to the world.
After we got engaged she told her that nobody liked her – named over 10-12 names directly to her face.
Sarah even lied making things up about what she said and continued to tell everyone my fiance was talking shit about her but shes not even around the same people anymore
There was no shit talk because at this point my fiance is not even friends with any of the girls really anymore. She doesn't get invited out, she has no relaitonships with a lot of the girlfriends/wives of my friends anymore. How is she talking all this shit? The truth is Sarah is talking shit and projecting it onto her
So i talked to Sarah a few times during this three year period, and her husband and both said time will heal you guys will be fine at some point. They don't have a problem with me.
Not the case
In the last year ive had strangers to my Fiance come up to me asking about bad shit shes said about Sarah years ago. It's gotten so ridiculous to the point that nobody wants to see her point of view and see what this girl is doing, going out of her way to make my fiance feel uncomfortable in almost any situation they're in the room together. Not saying hi, not being polite, being Catty with the other girls, making her uncomfortable, trying to get her to snap and blow up so she'll say something bad or give them reason to talk more shit.
At this point my fiance has moved on has newer healthier relationships with other girls but this problem just will not go away. Recently at a pre-wedding event with 250 people we held Sarah showed up and snubbed my Fiance at the door and her mother by not even saying hello, proceeded to try and steal all the attention from my fiance and I's event by cutting people off speaking with her and dragging them into her bubble. She and her husband (my groomsman) hosted an afterparty which i was told – Your fiance is not allowed over but you are (my fiance doesn't know this bit it was told to me second hand by a friend)
So the wedding is under three months, my fiance tells me last night she had a nightmare Sarah ruined the wedding, she doesn't want her there. What am I supposed to do? One of my best friends is married to Sarah and I want him to stand next to me.
It's incredible 250 people came to the pre wedding event and she had to ruin it for her the fear is she'll do that on our special day. So what are my options? My fiance's mom is involved now thinks
- Tell her not to come – which will give her years more to talk about the bullshit but i don't care at this point
- talk to the husband to set her straight – clearly hasn't worked since he lets her do whatever
- speak with Sarah directly and tell her to be on good behavior
****UPDATE – The relationship between Bob and my Fiance is good, she really likes him so does her mom hes a great dude his wife Sarah is just a bitch and i feel a serious conversation with him is nessessary or else i have to blow our relationship up too.
I want zero drama at my wedding, i'll throw her out myself if I see she's acting up and plan to address this on my own.
submitted by /u/ThrowRAwedding17
[link] [comments]