It was nude for me to give support when I felt like a ball and chain. And the little I did give I felt was dismissed, either because I was the husband, so of course I was her fan (like my view of her abilities, accomplishments, and strengths were biased and not worth considering), or other times it was like I was saying the wrong things. I know in retrospect I was, because I talked to people that understand her position on certain things, but it sucks that this understanding and communication didn’t come from her.
Anyhow, I was always the more communicative and expressive in our relationship. And I pulled away, so she lost that. I fucked up.
Now that I resolved that for myself, a process that took me a year, and I wanted to work on the marriage.
There’s only so much time in a day you know? Kids, work, personal development, chores, social life. I lost balance and priority. It became a bad routine. For both of us. Too many people here assume that I was not pulling my weight at all. If you think I wasn’t doing enough, you don’t know if she needed a level of 8, and I was at 6 or at a 2. Truth is I don’t know what she needed. We really didn’t talk and it takes two.
Anyway, this whole thread is turning into a hate fest. I fucked up in some ways. In some ways so did she. It takes two to keep a relationship healthy. All I can do and want to do now is do the maximum I can do. Today. And for as long as it takes until it’s definite that she’ll join me and work on the marriage or demand a divorce.
If you have insight to help me improve my relationship, share it. Otherwise go to the gym to find a punching bag. I can beat myself up on my own.
Oh I think you should go! There is a hidden agenda as to why he does not want you around this girl and don’t think it is to spear your feelings!
It was nude for me to give support when I felt like a ball and chain. And the little I did give I felt was dismissed, either because I was the husband, so of course I was her fan (like my view of her abilities, accomplishments, and strengths were biased and not worth considering), or other times it was like I was saying the wrong things. I know in retrospect I was, because I talked to people that understand her position on certain things, but it sucks that this understanding and communication didn’t come from her.
Anyhow, I was always the more communicative and expressive in our relationship. And I pulled away, so she lost that. I fucked up.
Now that I resolved that for myself, a process that took me a year, and I wanted to work on the marriage.
There’s only so much time in a day you know? Kids, work, personal development, chores, social life. I lost balance and priority. It became a bad routine. For both of us. Too many people here assume that I was not pulling my weight at all. If you think I wasn’t doing enough, you don’t know if she needed a level of 8, and I was at 6 or at a 2. Truth is I don’t know what she needed. We really didn’t talk and it takes two.
Anyway, this whole thread is turning into a hate fest. I fucked up in some ways. In some ways so did she. It takes two to keep a relationship healthy. All I can do and want to do now is do the maximum I can do. Today. And for as long as it takes until it’s definite that she’ll join me and work on the marriage or demand a divorce.
If you have insight to help me improve my relationship, share it. Otherwise go to the gym to find a punching bag. I can beat myself up on my own.