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https://onlyfans.com/alexsisfaye, 31 y.o.
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Date: March 26, 2023
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I don’t even want to comment on him. All I want to say is that I am SO proud of you making these amazing life changes for yourself and I hope that these changes have increased your happiness and energy. Wish you all the best ?
No, that's not how it works. Financial fraud is financial fraud. You can “give” someone your credit card. They can't “use” it without your permission. If they do, they are committing a crime.
Unauthorized Use
When a person uses a card without a card holder's permission, this is illegal. Under U.S. law, if the person reports unauthorized use, he is only responsible for a maximum of $50 in charges. Either the retailer or the credit card company will be responsible for any charges made without proper authorization. However, if a spouse's name is on the card, it will not be considered an unauthorized use.
This isn't a shared line of credit. If at any time you write a check, or use a credit/debit card, in someone else's name without their permission, even if you live! with them, it's fraud.
OP, call your non emergency police line, they will tell you the same thing.
I read your previous post, you absolutely did the right thing. This guy was controlling as it was and the abuse was only going to get worse. You're only 22, you'll be okay. You'll meet plenty of other guys who are much better for you
It's great that you're aware of the importance of setting boundaries in your platonic relationship with your coworker, and that you value your relationship with your long-term girlfriend. Here are some guidelines that could help you maintain a healthy platonic relationship with your coworker:
Keep it professional: Remember that you are coworkers, and your primary relationship is a professional one. While it's okay to be friendly with your coworkers, you should avoid any behavior that could be perceived as flirting or romantic interest.
Avoid one-on-one time outside of work: Try to limit your interactions with your coworker to the workplace. If you do socialize outside of work, try to do so in a group setting rather than one-on-one.
Be mindful of the topics you discuss: It's okay to share personal information with your coworker, but be mindful of the topics you discuss. Avoid discussing anything that could be perceived as sexual or romantic in nature.
Don't engage in physical touch: It's important to maintain physical boundaries in your platonic relationship with your coworker. Avoid hugging or any other physical contact that could be perceived as sexual or romantic.
Respect your girlfriend: Always keep your girlfriend in mind when interacting with your coworker. Avoid any behavior that could make her feel uncomfortable or jealous.
As for whether male-female platonic friendships are often closer than typical male-male platonic friendships, it really depends on the individuals involved. Some platonic friendships may be very close and intimate, while others may be more casual and distant. The most important thing is to establish boundaries that work for you and your friend, and to respect those boundaries.
He then begins to start yelling at her at the venue in front of everyone and pushes her down causing her to break the camera that belongs to the owner of the venue
All of this happened in front of a crowd of people and not one person stepped in?
I just don't know where I go from here.
This is an unstable situation that you should walk away from. Either she's playing games, he's crazy or both. But the bottom line remains the same: she has told you that she may want to go back to him. That should have been an immediate nope from you.
Why are you – a grown man – engaged to someone who was recently a teenager and whom you have known for 10 months? And why are you ‘telling’ her who she can and can’t speak with? And – just maybe – do we think the first question is related to the second?
Trust
So, this is a one-sided open relationship, and he refuses to cut off the person who is trying to break you both up?
Please read that summary I just wrote.
Would you want this relationship for a friend or your child?
No, you wouldn't.
Your fiance is the issue.
Hold off on this wedding as this marriage is going to end very badly for you.
You deserve better.
So they urged and pressed you into a new pet you weren't sure about then refused to do anything to help raise and look after the pet and even started to resent and mock the pet because it didn't fulfil what I assume was a fantasy of how easy puppies are to deal with. The pet likely picks up on that energy too, which would be a nasty feedback loop.
And yeah. Your partner is absolutely naive or just outright vile and likely both. People like that are why there are so many puppies that have to be rehomed which really jerks them around, let alone the reality your partner has proven horrifically unreliable and kind of just petty and cruel in general.
Be real about how that reflects on a future with them. How quickly they dumped that naked potato on you is genuinely frustrating.
Did you ever have a try at “Cdrama” called TV series (Netflix or Youtube have those in Mandarin with english subtitles).
I doooo love those. Though being German with no link to China or chinese people. Which I regret very much.
Please elaborate on what these arguments are like
U deserve better and it’s worth breaking up. You’re 18 !! You can find a amazing guy that compliments you every day.
Would u rather be with a guy who never compliments you for the rest of your life or one who compliments you everyday
He absolutely expects me to participate. Absolutely. Also, after 15 years together I assume this is my family. I just don’t know why he doesn’t see my family as his family.
You wanna be a physician but you can't think of applying for work and saving/financial aid/abroad scholarships?
Have you even tried talking to the girl and asking her if she wants to marry you or anyone? If you already have no one on your side, maybe your potential wife could be a good start.
Also she has more to offer as a partner than u do so idk why you're judging this girl for when she could judge your family harder for being so desperate…and yall fighting too
The best advice is twofold:
(1) You can be supportive of genuine attempts to better himself, but you can’t “fix” this and would be unwise to become a shrew about it. Which leads to this:
(2) See your situation more clearly. This is NOT a case where you have a good boyfriend with incidental flaws. This is a case where your boyfriend is functionally flawed until he chooses to grow up and fix it.
The right form of the question is not, “Does my boyfriend self-sabotage?” It isn’t even “How can I help him not self-sabotage?”
The right form of the question is, “Do I choose to be in a relationship with someone who self-sabotages?”
Because that isn’t going away until he decides to change, and nothing you can do will make that happen, except maybe leaving him and looking for somebody who actually strengthens your chance of achieving your life-goals.
That’s true. I feel like I need to start expressing my thoughts more to her.
I'm really baffled about people going through marriage without talking about values and things like this. They've been together for 8 years and it's the first time “what if one of our kids is gay” hypothetical question came up. It's crazy. You can't really know someone, even your partner completely but you should be able to know that you have similar views on life and values before having a longterm commitment and kids.
It can be done. It takes huge fortitude, particularly if you plan to date other people: you’re relinquishing your rights to one another’s fidelity, and somebody else might pick that up.
Are you sure you’re prepared to “remain friends” when that that happens?
Yeah, also about being sure if you want kids or not in the future, what if you can't have kids etc. People shouldn't take relationships so lightly. The not talking about politics thing is also weird because most of it shows your stance on very important topics like human rights. I also refuse to believe that it's the first time OP's husband and his family's first time to show bigotry. She should definitely still talk with her husband about it but if he still thinks the same, it's time for her to rethink their marriage.
She sounds like she has amazing maternal instincts and would be a very attentive parent. Why don't you start by asking how she feels its been going with the baby? The amount of time, energy, and patience you are describing wouldn't be happening without some serious interest and desire from her.
She might be thinking the same thing you are.
I think you ask her what her thoughts are. Then you can tell her how amazing she seems to be with the baby and you couldn't help but think that she's already showing she'd be an amazing mom.
Then just let the discussion progress to get more of a read on her thoughts. Maybe the first convo just plants the seed and allows her to consider it, if she had felt it wasn't allowed (who knows).
I'm a family law attorney and you need to retain your own lawyer right now.
It her body and her choice. If you can't accept that or make a commitment to her because of that then break-up.
Your friend is wrong if they think you retain rights to your social media posts/comments.
WOW you are toxic as fuck. I don't know how this guy is still with you but he needs to dump your psycho ass asap
You haven’t defined the relationship yet but she has a key and she is a ‘partner’.
I think if someone asked her if she had a boyfriend she’d probably say ‘yes’.
And this is the issue here, you’ve been giving her the boyfriend experience but then this other girl turns up and suddenly she’s realised you aren’t as serious as she is.
Nah
Smells like projecting and unfair punishment. You did nothing wrong you were just goofing around. Weren't there already some red flags before? How long have you been together?
lol fucking reddit. she will 100% get back in this childs life. courts want that regardless.
The ultimatum WAS the best thing to do. The relationship is over if he goes, even without the ultimatum he is choosing his friends (and this girl) over your feelings. You shouldn’t need to give an ultimatum- if he really loves you he wouldn’t be going. But the ultimatum has revealed the truth – he doesn’t love you enough to cancel a holiday. So the relationship is over already unless he changes his mind and doesn’t go. All that is left now is for you to start getting over him and getting on with your life.
If I was you I’d tell him it’s over right now, before he goes. That may shock him out of any belief that you didn’t mean what you said. Maybe it will change his mind and he won’t go, but I doubt it.
She sounds quite awful. Just how desperate are you?
What happened to her marriage commitment?? Unforeseen things happen.
What about her 4 kids? She's not even going to try to see if they can make it work so that her kids get to keep their father as an active daily presence. It's disgustingly selfish to deny the kids their father because 'deal breaker.'
A marriage isn't a 'deal' – it's a life long commitment to take the ups and downs.
Parenthood & co-parenting is a life long commitment. She can't be so self-serving she has 4 kids and a co-parent to think of.
She's allowed to feel confused and that her life has been torpedoed – she should work through that. But she can't ruin her children's lives because of this – and denying them a loving father is doing just that.
1) why did he invite her? 2) why would he not tell you ahead of time?
I can't imagine he will have a good answer for either of those questions, but I would hear him out first.
But yeah, I would be annoyed to put it mildly OP.
Every person in this thread is a couch psychiatrist, I swear. OP: she was injured, she went to the hospital to get tested it she felt so off. She went through the entire process of reporting a sexual assault because she was sexually assaulted.
Calm down and breathe. These are not things you just do casually and judging from your reaction she was right to be wary of telling you all she actually knew of her night. Wise up: this isnt on her.
As someone with a large number of followers, I have most Instagram notifications turned off. She might too.
He found someone vulnerable and took advantage of the situation.
He thought you were just a toxic stereotype dumb woman, and wanted to financially abuse you.
He doesn’t want a smart woman. He wants an uneducated woman who doesn’t know she’s worth so much more.
He knew he could do bare minimum and just show basic, bare minimum kindness, and you would be so grateful after your past experience. But he never showed you basic respect. Never. Assumed from the start that you were clueless and dumb.
Don’t get back in contact. Change your bank account and passwords if you gave him access to your financial accounts.
This is so fake it’s stupid. OP needs to work on their craft.
“what can be asserted without evidence can also be dismissed without evidence.” I do not need to provide you any sources. I wasn't the one who made outrageous claims, just dismissed them.
Popular? You said that its not related to the post. So i deleted it
She's his gf. Of course, he is gonna treat her differently than you. She pushed for a relationship and withheld sex from him until he made it official.
Did you push for a relationship? Or were you fine being FWB the key word there being “friends”
There are ways they could have worked around it. As a married couple, they could have worked through it.
But nope, she’s saying her vows don’t mean shit and she’s abandoning him the second things get tough. If I were OP, I would be happy I found out who she really was.
Heartwarming and hilarious! I’d like to eat the weirdest shaped pasta I can find in honor of your sister.
You initially didn’t consent to sex, then didn’t consent to him finishing inside you
You skipped “didn't consent to doing it without a condom” (especially after driving to get some!).
Even If OP got pregnant and she wanted to keep the baby, and he wanted to stick around, which is a lot of Ifs, he doesn't sound like great dad material.
Which is so upsetting because I thought these were like… people I could trust. But it turns out they're just waiting for me to fuck them. I don't know what to do!
Right. You came back to a week old post but I'm the miserable one. Clearly you live! for this dumb shit.
Your behaviour and attitude are disgusting. You sound incredibly insecure and controlling at the best of times, and now you’re trying to make the SA that she experienced all about you.
You are not the victim here and hopefully you’re no longer the boyfriend either. Leave her the hell alone – you’re useless to her and loading her with emotional labour she doesn’t need.
I sincerely hope that this young woman gets the help she needs and the justice she deserves and a future without you.
He is choosing his “friendship” with her over you and your relationship. And he is consciously making that choice.
He hasn't cut off someone who continuously disrespects you, your relationship and him. He may life the attention, idk. But this is disrespectful to you. Going on holidays with her, when they will be drunk and doing activities etc, is another level of disrespect. If this was my group of friends I am 100% sure they would be comfortable with this disrespectful person not coming and even in case they weren't I wouldn't go. Because it would be disrespectful to my partner and this person disrespected me and my relationship numerous times. Also, it comes to a point where a person is as loyal as the situation they put themselves in.
He wants to go, he is actively choosing her.
Do with that what you wish.
UpdateMe! Please
You see them as friends, they see you as an opportunity to have sex. Friends would never have said something like that to you.
Can I chat you?
For some reason I didn’t get mad. I just cried and realized I wanted him back.
Think there’s a chance he will go back to her?
More thoughts now that I'm not fat-fingering the Post button:
That being said, there's also the possibility that she's overreacting. There is this belief in popular culture that romance and sex are essentially the opposites of each other. If you have sex with someone, it precludes any sort of enduring romantic relationship; if you want to have an enduring romantic bond, you have to keep sex out of the equation. Considering an enduring romantic bond is supposed to include sex, this seems kind of silly. It's like claiming that, to make a car run, you have to keep one of its wheels off. But some people believe this, and this girl might be one of them. Maybe she's over there thinking, “I put the wheel on the car too fast, it's ruined.” If this is what she's thinking, tell her about this guy you met on the internet who says that he has been in a happy relationship for 9 years and counting, a happy marriage for 6 years and counting, and that it started off with him and his now-wife having sex on the first date.
That's why my advice is to talk to her about it. The action itself tells you nothing about its motivations, and it's the motivations that matter. Find out what they are.
I don't know, even if Aunt Ester dies and leaves a boatload of cash, why is your partner entitled to any of it?
Now I can see the idea of paying for out on the town meals more often, or maybe pickup the toilet paper solo. I can't imagine attempting to regulate a 50/50 flat across the board for EVERYTHING.
Things like rent and utilities though – it's not time to quibble semantics about how much money was inheritance or how that money is earned. Your money isn't your partners money pre-marriage imo.
I think that is a very thoughtful gift and it adds to the experience of watching the anime after
You prioritized Sadie over Jake.
You treated being trans as a deal breaker. (This is big.)
I don’t know how you talked to Sadie about your brother’s gender, but as a trans man who is very very low contact with my own twin over how he handles my gender, there are ways of responding and then there are ways of responding. But you did it in a way that made her cry, so I am inclined to believe that you did not do this kindly.
If he doesn’t want you in his life because you literally went out of your way to destroy his relationship, respect that.
Jesus I really hope you’re just another right wing troll trying to radicalize and recruit.
If you are not a right wing troll trying to radicalize and recruit, take some time to talk to your husband and therapist about how your behavior to your brother maps directly onto tall tales right wing trolls use to radicalize and recruit. Seriously. If you are real and you have a trans brother, think about the fact that the trans people on this post truly believe you are a right wing troll making up recruitment stories and you were just describing something you actually did in real life.
Could the women still kill it at 8 years old?
Fact is, if OP abandons her, she's going to be in foster care at 8 years old, which doesn't go so well for her.
I’ve got two trans friends that lied about it for months in relationships.
It’s not that uncommon with young people.
It’s always about trans people misleading or tricking people.
Sometimes you say things you just cannot take back. And sometimes despite years of counseling they cannot be forgotten. Words can really change things and cause a ton of hurt, that's why we need to chose them wisely.
I think the comment means that the title really makes it sound like your gf is 8 years old.
This is ridiculous. If he gets enraged whenever you disobey his wishes, obviously he is seeking to control you. You know that.
You don't need to get him to admit it, and he clearly isn't interested in changing. Please get out of this situation.
Well, this is terrifying
You: “What would you do if your ex asked to bang?” Her: “Meet up with him and let him have his way with me”
Is exactly how this sounds.
You are 18. It doesn't seem to me that either of you are ready for a committed relationship.
I wish I could tell you. I am doubtful but at the end of the day I have absolutely no way I finding that out. Her family and her don’t really speak to me much besides her and I discussing what we want for our children.
Okay…time for you to kick this blood sucking ungrateful disgusting trash monster out of your life. Please follow the great suggestion by the commentators and get your life back. I'm 23 and I would be furious if someone did this to my space, heck I get mad at my own parents and siblings for getting into my space because it's my space. This wasn't discussed between you two so you don't owe him shit, if anything his ass owe you whole lot of money for the service and housing you have provided. Also, who have 14hrs a day to freaking sleep and still go “I'm busy” like bruhh, I only slept for 16 hours in total last week including the weekend ? bro got a whole mom to take care of him and got too comfy and stingy. Get his ass out of your life sis!!
Part of me just thinks that he should be the one to decide if having a crush while in a relationship it’s normal, that’s all.
This is what journaling is for. Conversations are two way, monologs are for the shower or the diary or a walk around the block on your own.
I would try to find the way to truly get him to understand how rude a lecture is. You could be anyone. You could be a dog. It's belittling and hurtful to be used as an audience. You are his equal, not his tutee… and even tutors care if the student learns and the student has agreed they want to learn, this is not that. It's so disrespectful. It's dehumanizing. And it will hurt him to hear that but he needs to really hear it. You should source others and workshop how to get this information to him. I suggest starting with “hey we need to have an awkward conversation” so he is fully ready and a bit scared. He needs to be scared for this. But then be reassuring too. “I love you and I love your enthusiasm, and I don't want you to change anything about yourself. Just change where you point certain activities.” They need to be directed to a journal, to peers who want to hear it, or himself. Tell him you've asked yourself “do I need to be here for this?” “If I left would he notice?” “Why am I here for this?” Anticipate some of his responses. Will he claim he wants your feedback? But you don't want to give it. Well he claim he wants to connect with you? Point out exactly that it's the YOU missing from this. He wants to connect with anyone and your ears are here, that doesn't make you feel connected. It's not reciprocal, either. Do you treat him that way? If he says he wouldn't mind, pull up a topic you know for 100% sure he could not stand 6 minutes of conversation about: crochet, Real Housewives, art history. And then ask him why he would want you to torture him with 90 minutes diatribes about how Andy Cohen talked down to that one Real Housewife in 2008 and how wrong it was. You love him and you wouldn't do that to him so why is he doing that to you and acting like he's the victim here?
Yeah, but you didn’t. So now you’re on Reddit asking for advice.
Never said she did but I guess the angry reddit mob has convinced itself so
I guess I could sympathize with someone returned the favour of cheating in affect. But after two years of terrible communication and overall cruel treatment – no, that's just an ugly side of this person coming to light because there is an excuse.
This is not the behaviour of a faithful person and quite frankly, someone who is unfaithful once and acknowledges the mistake is more respectable in my book than what the boyfriend is doing.
Haha reading you discovering Dramione fanfic smut was absolutely hilarious! I laughed so much, thanks. Btw, you are making a lot of misconceptions. One being when you talk about the tags – the tags are there to allow readers to check if they’re comfortable with everything that will appear in the story. It’s definitely not more extreme than mainstream porn, trust me. Just because mainstream porn doesn’t warn you, doesn’t mean it’s not disturbing.
Her reading all that is cool, and written porn is victimless…unlike “normal” porn. The only issue here is that she isn’t being as affectionate or intimate with you. There must be a core issue, and it’s not the smut. Suggest couple’s therapy to find out what it is?
Lastly, just because she reads some f/m stories doesn’t mean she wants to be with a man. I read straight, gay, and lesbian stories. I know women who primarily read m/m and others f/f. It doesn’t always coincidence with their sexuality or what they want in real life.
I dunno man. You just have to ask her. I would count on at least taking a break for a while.
Are you waiting for them to get married and have kids and then celebrate their 10 year anniversary before you decide to breakup with her? Dude???? Why???
I am seeing a therapy, thank you.
Umm sure Saturday like a year ago lol you’ve been spamming this for ages so I doubt this guy is even real.
Relationship advise: Don't have sex before marriage, especially in high school.
This advise is not for OP. He already made that mistake. This is everyone else reading this.
Honestly I say you guys used to be open and whatever happened, happened…. Now that you are not open, what in the world is he doing allowing an ex lover to be touchy etc? Also she is extremely unprofessional and this is all just weird. You are absolutely not in the wrong to think so. I think the final piece of your healing or whatever as a couple is to now eliminate her from the situation.
I’m so sorry you are having such a difficult time. This truly sucks. I wasn’t really ready to have sex after I gave birth for a while. Close to 3 months. I was in pain, not to mention all the hormones and taking care of a newborn! Even your doctor surely recommended around 6 weeks to play it safe. What did they say? Does your fiancé know any of these things? Being supportive isn’t just money it’s emotional too. Does he realize what your body just went through? Common law/ engaged or not, he needs to get off his high horse, be involved and understand where you are at. He sounds like a child (you both are, really). We all have to learn somewhere. If you have no one else to talk to about this tell your doctor. I’m sure you wouldn’t be the first new mother with concerns like this. They could possibly point you in the right direction for where you and you baby could go to get help. Him forcing himself on you is NOT ok! There are so many red flags sweetheart. What happens when you are so exhausted and he’s in charge of your newborn, chooses to get stoned (responsible pot smoker here! But I don’t do it when I have a responsibility like my newborn! My kid is almost 10 now and I still won’t do that around him) and doesn’t recognize your baby needs help? What happens when he looses it and does some sort of harm to either of you because of “his needs”? None of this sounds ok. As a mother I am seriously worried about you. Go seek help. Sign up for food stamps/WIC. They could provide information for you as well. There are so many resources you just have to take initiative. You sound like you would be an amazing mother, even if you are a bit lost, but in order to do that you have to take this opportunity to do what’s best for you both. I’m sure you have a Dr check up soon. Even if it’s your baby’s pediatrician, ask them too. Best of luck to you mama. I’m not gonna say you can do this, you have to do this!
Weirdly comparative. There’s no reason to say “at least you don’t have to deal with this at home”. It brings him into it as a comparison when he doesn’t need to be compared to, and sounds like “my life is so much worse than you” and like gloating about your issues.
It’s one of those things that is just always annoying when people say and turn things into a comparison/competition
I totally get his point of view as well and I have always supported him. I just find it naked as we can't change what people do, so I just can't agree with the life of isolation, I think he is taking it too far!
Oh, man.
Runnnnnnnnn
There are better men out there who aren't threatened by other men being in your general vicinity.
What are you hoping to get out of these sessions? What’s the end goal?
The big question is why he stopped caring 6 years ago? It’s really the biggest change that matters.
Thank you for the reply. I'm probably sticking to your point.
You're not crazy, you were abused. Do you have a therapist?
Maybe you’re gay
Nah, that’s what you are telling yourself and her to feel like you are a good person and made a mistake but you have learned and blah blah blah. I think you need to take some time to clear your head, be honest with yourself, and find the real reason. You were fixing things, maybe you don’t want to.
Red flags, red flags everywhere! Dump her ass ASAP
Happened once, will happen again
She knows why she did it. She just doesnt't want to admit it out loud maybe because it will hurt you or her.
It can be as simple as “i wanted it” or a little more complex like “I was getting too attached/the relationship has been good so i felt the need to sabotage it.” which would make sense, you mentioned she had a history of cheating.
She *should” feel guilty, because she is. Don't let her drive you into a corner, i'm sure she has already said the classic shit such as “I already said sorry, don't make me feel worse, there isn't anything i can do about it now”
My advice, as harsh as it sounds, leave. Cheaters stay cheaters and you aren't going to be the one that fixes her and makes her a better person. Not because it's only not your job but also because it's literally impossible.
I'm sorry that happenned to you brother, we feel you.
FYI having her uterus removed isn't going to automatically make her enjoy sex. It has an impact on hormones, oestrogen drops right down and you're effectively thrown straight into menopause. It's up to her but an IUD such as the Mirena is reportedly an effective way to manage endo fir many women.
Perhaps! I suppose we shall see in due time. Either way it’s honestly a moot point on my end. This whole post hovers somewhere just above or below utterly pointless without a ton of pertinent info that is missing.
She is trying to trap you it seems … Do not listen to her, if you're not ready then that's it.
I would love you read and reply to advice but dang Reddit won’t let me read the comments.
This is coming from a mid-fortys mom. Please take this person's advice. I also think your GF is going to “accidentally ” fall pregnant if you continue this relationship. I also agree she is selfish, naive and incredibly immature to not see how irresponsible this is at this time. She doesn't want to be a mother, she wants a baby because something is missing for her. Attention? Love? A sense of belonging (mom groups)? Something else is driving this because a mother would be able to make sacrifices for her child without hesitation and she can't be bothered to go to her job.
thank you for letting me vent and for the advice. i do appreciate it
Yeah, I feel ya. But, I feel like that would be a worry no matter who you’re dating? My wife and I have been through a lot and we are very happy we stuck together. They were really naked times. There were very low times that if I came to Reddit and ask for advice, everyone would’ve told me to break up with her. Sometimes it’s worth working through your problems if it’s the right person but that’s up to you and you only.
Just know that life is not some fairytale war movie. I feel like the way relationships are presented in. Our society is unrealistic. We don’t show people working through their problems. We don’t show the downs in a relationship. We don’t show the trauma that might’ve occurred in a relationship. And we don’t show the healing that’s required in a relationship.
People don't realize that sleep deprivation impairs your ability to function (including driving) just as much as alcohol, if not more so, and in sneakier ways
I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted for this comment, it’s so true.
This is irrational and 100% in your head. It’s displaced resentment. Don’t let it ruin a good thing.
Wise words.
Run for the hills girl he just dropped a bomb on you that him and his brother have essentially raped several women together and have been fine brushing it under the rug for LITERALLY EVER AND HE REAPED THE BENEFITS OF LITERALLY MARRYING YOU LIKE WHATTTT
Just enjoy the time together. Don’t overthink it.
The conflict is resolved. Time to move on and enjoy the rave.
I love that idea and I love that you chose emerald! I’m so glad you were able to speak up and find a resolution where everyone’s happy in the end!
Yeah it sucks, I would have kept going out with him had it not been for my stomach issues.
Right! OP isn’t mad she didn’t have the coolest toys. She just didn’t want to be hit which is some bare minimum stuff. Hugs are free.
Baby girl please dump him. That is NOT how your boyfriend should speak to you and he is too old to not know better.
Have you ever texted her in an attempt to have a casual chat? If the answer is yes and she was short with her responses or seemed disinterested, it's likely that she doesn't feel the same way. If the answer is no, then do so. Or, just act confident and ask her on a date. Worst case scenario, you get rejected and you know for sure she isn't interested. If you do get rejected, take it with understanding and apologize in the event she feels uncomfortable. Shoot your shot, but don't take it personally if nothing comes of it.
It probably has to do with feeling like she was there but you turned instead to other women to help get you off. Maybe it’s not entirely rational to feel like your partner is cheating on you in a situation like this, but for some, it’s really naked to see a partner getting sexually aroused by someone or something else — usually when she sees you like that, she’s included in it, and she’s the stimuli you’re responding to. It feels sacred and personal. This time, she walked in on you getting off to the sights and sounds of other hard women while she was excluded, even though she was just in the other room. (You were of course attempting to be considerate of her by not waking her up from a dead sleep for sex, but unfortunately it clearly made her feel bad.) It may have hurt her feelings, made her feel less desirable, or made her see you differently. Maybe it made her feel betrayed or cheated on in some way.
Try to get her talking so you can get to the bottom of this. It’s wrong for her to continue punishing you without attempting to communicate openly and work through it together rather than giving you the perpetual cold shoulder. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you may have crossed a boundary she wasn’t even aware existed for her, and now you need to talk that out together. In case it’s helpful, my take on her not wanting you to do that while she’s in the house seems less like she wants to control you or stop you, but more like maybe she doesn’t feel good about knowing you’d choose to do that without her when she’s there and available. Of course it wouldn’t feel good to think your partner might prefer self-service or the stimuli of other hot bodies to your own body, here in the flesh. See if you can get her to let her walls down a bit and open up to you about why she’s so bothered by this.
Date who you want and when you want, it doesn't matter if he's watching your SM or not
It probably has to do with feeling like she was there but you turned instead to other women to help get you off. Maybe it’s not entirely rational to feel like your partner is cheating on you in a situation like this, but for some, it’s really hard to see a partner getting sexually aroused by someone or something else — usually when she sees you like that, she’s included in it, and she’s the stimuli you’re responding to. It feels sacred and personal. This time, she walked in on you getting off to the sights and sounds of other nude women while she was excluded, even though she was just in the other room. (You were of course attempting to be considerate of her by not waking her up from a dead sleep for sex, but unfortunately it clearly made her feel bad.) It may have hurt her feelings, made her feel less desirable, or made her see you differently. Maybe it made her feel betrayed or cheated on in some way.
Try to get her talking so you can get to the bottom of this. It’s wrong for her to continue punishing you without attempting to communicate openly and work through it together rather than giving you the perpetual cold shoulder. You didn’t do anything wrong, but you may have crossed a boundary she wasn’t even aware existed for her, and now you need to talk that out together. In case it’s helpful, my take on her not wanting you to do that while she’s in the house seems less like she wants to control you or stop you, but more like maybe she doesn’t feel good about knowing you’d choose to do that without her when she’s there and available. Of course it wouldn’t feel good to think your partner might prefer self-service or the stimuli of other nude bodies to your own body, here in the flesh. See if you can get her to let her walls down a bit and open up to you about why she’s so bothered by this.
Bc he’s such a good guy!!! /s
Edit for typos
I'm a cat person and I would not want a special needs cat.
I feel like we are very well equipped
The problem is that you are seeing this as a “we” issue. This is not “we”, “you” feel you are well equipped. Your b/f does not share your opinion.
Arguing about this isnt a great way of dealing with it, but he probably feels you are pushing him into this when he has already dealt with the inconvenience and emotional demands of caring for a chronically ill animal and you are forcing him to go through that again. You, on the other hand, are “disgusted” by his perfectly reasonable feelings.
I think you are seeing this wrong when you say he has no empathy. He has got empathy and he has demonstrated that by caring for this cat now. Forcing someone into the position of caring for a special needs animal when they have already been through it and don't need to go through it again is unreasonable. You both have to be on-side and you both want to do this. Otherwise, Yes, there are going to be arguments if only you want to do it.
This is 100% a control issue. Whether he didn’t want you hearing what he was saying or doing in his game room or whether he needs to be in on everything you do, and changes in plans really upset him – either way it’s not okay. The name calling is abuse. The over reaction is frightening. I’m worried he could escalate.
I’m autistic. A change in plans makes me irrationally upset. Like to a level I don’t get upset about anything else. And I never name call. I might say “I don’t like that change because I feel x.” And then maybe go nap to calm down and then I’m okay. Or I’ll get quiet and it sounds like I’m angry because I sort of stone wall. I keep my answers short and concise. “Yup. Okay. Yeah. Have fun. See ya.” That sort of thing. But I do calm down easily and typically am fine (like if he had plans to be home with me at night but then decided to get drinks with friends instead – I get upset. Nap while he’s gone. And I’m fine once he’s home. He knows to go whether I’m upset or not because it has nothing to do with him. It’s 100% a me issue. I’m mad at the change in plans but recognize he has every right to see his friends occasionally for some beers lol. But if it’s a change like he said he was going to play video games but took a nap instead or vice versa – I might be a little peeved he napped without me but that’s about it.)
So this is advice coming from someone who has experience in having a naked time with a change in plans. This was over the top, irrational and not at all appropriate. It sounds like he may have other issues going on. And that can be dangerous – especially if you’re a people pleaser. I’m the last person to tel anyone on the internet to break up with their partners. But this requires therapy at the very least. For him. If he starts to use therapy to manipulate you further – get out. He’s dangerous.
You're fully justified if you want to leave someone actively using drugs.
Sounds like he would do the same or just be one of those jerks who harass random people
yess this happens a lot! i think my therapist was over booked and wanted to make me feel okay before she let me loose lol
Not quite sure about some of these comments.. after 2 years I would assume partners would ask what you want or where you wanna go to dinner. Quite odd. If work is that demanding, how is he on a normal day?
You can’t focus on taking care of others unless you take care of your emotions first. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can put it on your child and all that. That means you need to at least confront him, and I do suggest breaking it off completely. I’m just sorry you’re grieving two people at once and let me know if you need to talk or anything 🙁