It’s not just a phone issue. A 41yo had no business dating a 21yo. Try to pay attention to his red flags, because it seems there are plenty. Such as constantly accusing you of cheating and now taking your phone to limit such ability. It’s a control issue. He’s not repeatedly breaking his phone on accident that’s for sure.
Also after reading some of the comments from your last post, which you deleted, it doesn’t seem like the most healthy of relationships. Your history includes: – accusations of cheating – substance abuse issues – financial abuse – verbal abuse – threats of physical violence – limiting friendships
You even openly posted “thank god we don’t have kids and his kids” are not in his custody. Unless no kids is a choice and you just don’t want them, why are you with a man for 5 years that you don’t want to build a family? If you prefer not to have kids because you don’t want them that’s fine, but if you are doing it because of your choice in partner that’s a big red flag.
There are reasons older men date women who are so much younger. – naive in relationships, so you don’t see all the red flags as easily – easier to manipulate and control – can “mold” you into the partner they want – women their age won’t put up with their bs and see the red flags
Personally, doubt I’d deal with this man. You have spent 5 years with this man, how many more are you going to waste?
Every single person saying things like “it happened before you were together” are missing the big picture, absolutely clueless.
OP is clearly upset that he wasn't made aware of this back then. He wasn't given a chance to make an informed decision THEN, for some people being with a woman who's been with their friends is a no go, I can't imagine with your brother.
OP i think running thru the emotions is 100% normal. What else did she not disclose? This is lying by omission and the fact that she couldn't find a reason and a moment to be honest with you wouldn't sit well with most people.
Not divorce worthy at all, but now you have doubt in your mind, and regardless of how long ago it was this is new to you so your feelings are valid. Tough situation.
Please leave him so he can go find someone who won’t shit on him for the hobbies HE ENJOYS.
It’s not just a phone issue. A 41yo had no business dating a 21yo. Try to pay attention to his red flags, because it seems there are plenty. Such as constantly accusing you of cheating and now taking your phone to limit such ability. It’s a control issue. He’s not repeatedly breaking his phone on accident that’s for sure.
Also after reading some of the comments from your last post, which you deleted, it doesn’t seem like the most healthy of relationships. Your history includes: – accusations of cheating – substance abuse issues – financial abuse – verbal abuse – threats of physical violence – limiting friendships
You even openly posted “thank god we don’t have kids and his kids” are not in his custody. Unless no kids is a choice and you just don’t want them, why are you with a man for 5 years that you don’t want to build a family? If you prefer not to have kids because you don’t want them that’s fine, but if you are doing it because of your choice in partner that’s a big red flag.
There are reasons older men date women who are so much younger. – naive in relationships, so you don’t see all the red flags as easily – easier to manipulate and control – can “mold” you into the partner they want – women their age won’t put up with their bs and see the red flags
Personally, doubt I’d deal with this man. You have spent 5 years with this man, how many more are you going to waste?
Every single person saying things like “it happened before you were together” are missing the big picture, absolutely clueless.
OP is clearly upset that he wasn't made aware of this back then. He wasn't given a chance to make an informed decision THEN, for some people being with a woman who's been with their friends is a no go, I can't imagine with your brother.
OP i think running thru the emotions is 100% normal. What else did she not disclose? This is lying by omission and the fact that she couldn't find a reason and a moment to be honest with you wouldn't sit well with most people.
Not divorce worthy at all, but now you have doubt in your mind, and regardless of how long ago it was this is new to you so your feelings are valid. Tough situation.
take the job