My bf of 9 months wants to celebrate his birthday camping at a popular national park. We started planning a little over a month ago and all the campsites were booked. However, a few days ago I got an alert on my phone and was able to book us a large group site that fits 50 people. I’ve been looking forward to this trip, but unfortunately, my bf and I have been fighting for the last two days about it with no resolution.
I’ve been asking him for weeks to start a group chat with his friends but he kept putting it off. I lost patience a couple of days ago and asked him why he refused to start a group chat. He started making a lot of complaints about how group chats don’t work and he doesn’t want to “micromanage” his friends or create “work” by trying to organize and coordinate everyone. He says we have a date and a location and that’s all we need.
I’m honestly mind-blown that he is planning his trip like this. When I make suggestions or ask questions he tells me I’m stressing him out and to leave it alone. Clearly, we have different ideas of how this trip is supposed to go. I thought we were planning a party. I booked the campsite, created an invitation, and placed a cake order. Now I’m trying to coordinate with my friends and his so we can have a potluck birthday celebration one of the nights we’re out camping, but he won’t even do something as simple as create a group chat so I can facilitate this.
I understand it’s his party and he can do what he wants to, but we’re talking about more than 30 people camping in a fairly remote area and his attitude is “we’re all self-reliant adults, everyone can do what they want” shrug. This is very strange to me. I like planning parties and was really excited to celebrate and meet his friends and plan a party for him but he says I’m just stressing him out. I feel stupid for making him a birthday invite because apparently I’m overdoing it. I really wanted to plan this and now I’m very upset and trying not to be spiteful. I’m thinking I’ll just cancel the cake and let him handle everything.
The point is, we’ve been fighting about this when it should just be a good time. I’m genuinely very upset about this. Last night when we talked told him, “Clearly we’re not understanding each other. Let’s talk once you get back from your trip.” (He’s going out of town for a few days). Idk what to do next and I can’t tell which one of us is being unreasonable. How do I communicate to him it is important for me to do this? Or should I just apologize for being so stubborn and just let it go?
submitted by /u/ThrowRAbirthdaychat
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