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1. We've agreed that we'll try our best to prioritize each other when needed and spend time alone as a couple. That we'll still try to keep our relationship fun and adventurous, etc.

   We've agreed that we'll go to therapy if things get too challenging or we feel the need too

   We've agreed to get occasional professional assistant ie when we want to go away for a trip or something

   I have to say, that all sounds very vague and undefined. You'll prioritize each other 'when needed'? What is the definition of 'needed'? Does that apply if only one of you feels it's 'needed'? You'll spend time alone as a couple, but how much time? And what is the proposed 'consequence' if one or both of you doesn't follow through on meeting the decided upon amount of time? You'll 'got to therapy if things get too challenging' or if you 'feel the need to' but who decides if it's challenging? Again, will that apply if only one of you thinks it's challenging and so the other has to go to therapy even if they don't think they need to because they don't find it challenging? Or if only one of you feels it's needed? All of your agreements seemed to center around the word 'try' a lot. How do you measure 'trying'? What if one of you says 'I don't feel like you're trying' and the other says 'but I am'.

   Aside from the 'wish and hope' your agreements are built on, have you really, deeply considered and accepted that this will be forever? Once his brother moves in, he will be with you for life. All 3 of you working from home? Yikes. That's a lot of togetherness and he will always be there. You might be able to go away for a night or two but you'll likely never have an evening to yourself in your own home. Ever. What is your plan if something happens to your partner? What if he becomes temporarily incapacitated or ill? Will you then have to become your BIL primary caretaker. Are you physically capable of that? What if you're pregnant at the time? What if your partner dies? Does that leave you as a single parent as well as the sole caretaker of your BIL? What is the plan when you all age and aren't as physically able? Is one of your kids going to be expected to inherit the caretaker role?

   You have a lot to consider. And when you consider these things, you need to have concrete answers. this isn't something you take on with vague, feel-good statements like 'we'll try to…' That's not going to cut it when the chips are down.

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