Are you prepared to give up your free time, energy, and health becoming his brother’s carer?
Is your partner going to cook the extra meals? Help him with bathing? Toileting? Getting dressed? Grooming – combing hair, trimming a beard or shaving? Is your partner going to give up his things to make space so his brother can easily get around, or is he going to want you to give up things? If he does do all of this, is he going to resent you?
If the brother has had his parents caring for him, is your partner planning on working from home to care for him? Or, because you’re a woman, will you be expected to give up your career to stay home with him? Will you have to work from home and juggle his brother? Will you watch him leave for work most every day and leave your apartment, while you are basically stuck working and taking care of a man you aren’t related or married to? Will you resent him? Both of them?
I don’t know the answers to those questions and I doubt you do either. They sound selfish, and they are, but you need to look at the big picture. This will be the rest of your twenties at least, if not longer. Think really hot about the answers. Being a martyr for love isn’t going to keep a relationship healthy. You either need to know exactly what you’re getting into or get out of it.
Are you prepared to give up your free time, energy, and health becoming his brother’s carer?
Is your partner going to cook the extra meals? Help him with bathing? Toileting? Getting dressed? Grooming – combing hair, trimming a beard or shaving? Is your partner going to give up his things to make space so his brother can easily get around, or is he going to want you to give up things? If he does do all of this, is he going to resent you?
If the brother has had his parents caring for him, is your partner planning on working from home to care for him? Or, because you’re a woman, will you be expected to give up your career to stay home with him? Will you have to work from home and juggle his brother? Will you watch him leave for work most every day and leave your apartment, while you are basically stuck working and taking care of a man you aren’t related or married to? Will you resent him? Both of them?
I don’t know the answers to those questions and I doubt you do either. They sound selfish, and they are, but you need to look at the big picture. This will be the rest of your twenties at least, if not longer. Think really hot about the answers. Being a martyr for love isn’t going to keep a relationship healthy. You either need to know exactly what you’re getting into or get out of it.
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