Long update.
Hello all. Thanks for your comments and feedback. I did read them all. I couldn't reply for some reason. Also, for those who said I must be fake because of a lack of replying/ updates, the post got so much attention that it was locked in 24 hours. I do have a life with work and an 8 month pregnant queen that I have the privilege of calling my wife that took priority.
To answer some questions and to clarify.
My wife, me, and our unborn child are doing good overall. My wife is over being pregnant at this point. Our child should be here in the coming weeks.
I did find a new therapist. I called to cancel the rest of my appointments on the books, and he did not take that well, so I have put in a complaint. I met with my new one and I like her a lot better. I feel like I'm actually being heard and actually getting the help I needed.
I want to make this clear I am 24. My dad's wife is 38. 14 years older than me. My dad is 52. 14 years older than his wife. So when she entered my life, I was 14, and she was 28.
There were also theories about how my dad might have had something to do with my mom's death. That is not the case. But I still believe they were together before she passed.
I am investing in a security system, but it will be a few weeks until they can install it. But for now we have a doorbell cam and some cheaper cameras.
Social media. Since the post about her being excited about being a grandma, how my wife and I getting engaged, we have locked down all social media. My wife and I are not active on any platforms anymore except for messaging or sharing pictures.
We found the leak as well. It is my BIL (wife's sisters husband). We had a family dinner where we had planned on working on the birthing plan. BIL was insistent on being there, which was odd as he was not a part of it to begin with. While we were waiting for my MIL to get home. I shared what happened between my dad and how it made me/my wife feel. BIL got visibility uncomfortable. When we I called him out on it he denied it but it was obvious. SIL called him out, and he broke down. He said he had been talking with them because we "need all the family support we can get" and "they should know their grand baby." This caused an argument. It ended with SIL moving out and staying with us (they have no kids and had some issues. I think it is over for them. I will never trust him.)
Our birthing plan has been locked down and secure (made a day later without BIL). But we have some "just in case of crazy showing up plans." Everyone who needs to know the plan/details know.
Now. It is surprising hot to get a protection order. Where I live!, it is heavily dependent on violence or physical contact. Technically, what they have done is not against the law yet. They are precievied as no real danger at this time since there were no threats made, and they left when asked to. They have free will to move wherever they want. Also, since a "family member" gave another "family member," my address it is fair game.
In regards to grandparents' rights, It is only when my wife and I have lost custody or are unable to care for them. But my MILand FIL will be taking on that roll if needed.
My wife and I are not in a position to move. We just bought our house when interest rates were low, and my inlaws helped with the down payment. It is nothing massive, but it is home and perfect for our starter family.
My dad and his wife are unable (shouldn't) have kids. I don't know from what side made in impossible. So that may be why the constant pressure.
I did write my dad a letter summing up why I want no contact. How I feel about what they did. How his wife is not my mom and will never be. IF I feel like giving them a chance, it is on my/my family's terms. Specified that my family is me, my wife, and any possible children moving forward. They are nit to talk to my wife or i at any time unless it is through our lawyer. He can decide what information to pass on. They are not welcome around us at any point. Including our house, school, daycare, social gatherings, birthdays, Christmas, BBQs, etc. As well as in public we are strangers. Keep space and act like we don't exist. If they break this, they will get a follow-up letter, up to and including a protection order.
The letter was quite long. Our lawlawyer looked it over, and my wife and I signed it. Then he signed it as well as it being noterized, and then we made legal copies for all of our records. My lawyer went with a private delivery service and hand delivered it to him with a signature of received goods. Plus, video evidence as well. So far, so good on that end.
I'm now focused on my wife and soon to be child. I hope I'm ready. I know how not to be a father, so there is that. Thanks all for your input.
Is there anything else I should do or think of to protect my family?
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