I may have overreacted here. I (26F) left my boyfriend (29M) yesterday to spend 3 months apart doing a fairly difficult and dangerous job that is going to take up all my time and mental energy (biologist/enforcer aboard commercial fishing vessels in the Bering Sea). My boyfriend has a possibly cancerous lump on his foot that he has had for a while, I keep telling him to go to the doctor.
Today he called me and mentioned the foot is bothering him, that it looks just like the pictures of cancer on the internet and that he is seriously considering going to the doctor. My best friend and father almost died of cancer and my grandfather died of cancer so hearing this filled me with anxiety. I pestered him about whether he was going to go to the doctor and he said it wasn’t that simple and he was going to see if his insurance covered it and look into a reference, so I offered to pay.
Then we continued to chat and I brought it up a few more times but he didn’t give me a definitive answer if he was going to the doctor. He also brought up that he has been procrastinating a couple other minor things— like the fact that he promised to call my Dad and bring my friend the title to the moped he was selling him. My dad and the friend have been asking me to get ahold of him to do those 2 things. Tomorrow my training starts and it will be a 16 hour day and I need to pass various knowledge retention tests in order to proceed and I just felt super overwhelmed trying to juggle everything— the desire to check in on him, worry about him, stress about my job, feeling like I need to focus on my job, frustration, fear for his safety—.
Anyway I suddenly said, “Hey I think it’s best if you don’t call me for a few days until you go to the doctor and sort this foot thing out, get that title and call my Dad.” He paused for a second and then said he thought I was being ridiculous and he didn’t realize the moped title was the most important thing in the world to me. I said no, but that I thought his foot was actually the most important in the world to me. Then he said “I have no idea what you’re talking about, you’re being ridiculous and this whole conversation is making me angry.” I was sorry I made him angry but secretly I was also filled with this inexplicable rage and I just really wanted to not talk to him again or even think about him (he always calls me nightly when we’re apart and looks forward to my calls) until he has gone to the doctor.
Right after we hung up I blocked him and I had every intention of not talking to him again and not even thinking about him until Tuesday when he will have had a chance to go to the doctor (today is Saturday). I can’t tell if I am overreacting, letting anger control me, being controlling, being a drama queen or being super disrespectful to block my partner of a year and a half like this for 3 whole days. I unblocked him but I still don’t want to talk to him until Tuesday. How should I proceed?
submitted by /u/TimeNefariousness834
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