I (19M) have been together with my girlfriend (19F) for about 2 years, and have been very close friends for 3 years. My family is pretty well off when it comes to money and status – my father is a very prominent doctor in the area and my mother was a teacher, but has since retired. My parents have always been very harsh when it come to my girlfriend, and they often criticize her due to her lower-middle class family. I do not pay this any mind, since nonsense like that does not matter to me. I lover her, she loves me, and we have the perfect relationship. How much money her parents make means nothing to me.
Yesterday, while my girlfriend was over my house, my mother hit her car while backing out of the garage. She must have been going pretty damn fast, because she caused serious damage to the front of the car and knocked the wheels out of alignment. My mother told my gf what happened and we went outside to survey the damage. My father immediately started trying to fix some of the damage without asking my gf if he could. My gf told him to leave it be, and asked for his insurance information. He told her not to worry about it because he "knows a guy" and can get it fixed. My gf asked again for the insurance information and he refused. I am a pre-law student so I told her to take pictures of the damage, the distance between the car and the garage (at least 30 feet), etc. to build her case. My father was not happy about this. He snarled at me but did not say anything, and got into the car and moved it closer to the garage to "work on it."
My gf called her mother since my father had taken full control of the incident. She got to the house and again asked my father for the insurance. He again went on about how he "knows a guy" and will get it fixed, but her mother was not happy and now demanded the insurance info. My father offered her cash, which she refused, and then finally got the insurance paperwork. Then he started being a complete asshole to both my gf and her mom, saying that the damage was "only cosmetic" and that he wanted them to leave his property. This devolved into a full scale argument between my father and my gf's mom.
Once everything was sorted, the two of them left and I went back in the house with my parents. I told them I was going to clean out my apartment (I am moving back home for the summer) and went to get in my car to leave – I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Both of my parents took this as an opportunity to strike at me. They said the entire thing was my fault, and that I am a "betrayer" to the family by not taking "their side." They unleashed a flurry of insults, calling me a shitty member of the family. My mother said that what I did was typical for the "family embarrassment." My father insulted my gf and her family, saying "who do they think they are? I am a doctor, what have they done with their lives? They are nothing, and they dared to make an ass out of me?"
I started going out to my car, because there was no use fighting against them. They were being irrational and egotistical, and I was not going to encourage them by fighting back. As I tried to leave, my father said:
"You have no loyalty to me or my family. All you care about is yourself. You would gladly sell us all out just like you did, all for some pussy. That's who you are, you'll never change. You will hurt people and betray people just to get what you want. I can't wait for that whore to break up with you. Then you'll have nothing. You'll be nothing. Then you'll come back to the family crying. Fuck your gf, and fuck her parents. And fuck you."
I left the house and went back to my apartment in the city. I managed to remain composed for the drive but I had a complete mental breakdown once I parked the car. I started having a panic attack while all the words my parents said consumed my thoughts. My gf called and calmed me down, and her mom called me too and assured me that I did nothing wrong. I stayed at my apartment last night even though I was going to move home, and I am still there now. The agreement ends tomorrow so I have to go home tonight.
I just cannot believe that my parents, the ones I have done everything for all my life, could think those things about me. I am not at all like what my father said, or at least I don't think I am. I am in the honors program at my college, I am studying to go to law school, and I have been living on my own in my own apartment for almost a year now. Everything I have done has been for the attention and admiration of my parents, which I feel so starved of. I have spent 19 years doing everything for my parents to finally tell me they are proud of me. And instead, I got this. All over a car accident and insurance papers.
I really need help, what do I do once I get home? How am I supposed to face my parents after everything that was said? And what about the tensions between my parents and my gf/gf's family? How should I approach any of this?
submitted by /u/ThrowRA_Harrison
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