To some this might seem silly but it’s causing problems in my relationship and I guess I’m in need of some advice.
My boyfriend has a 7 year old daughter whom I love dearly. Let’s call her A. She is sweet, smart, funny, just all around a great kid. She lives with her mom during the week and with us on the weekend. I have been in her life since she was a toddler and we have formed a bond over the years. I have always made sure to show her that I am a safe space for her. That she can come to me for anything. I always make birthdays and holidays special for her etc. However, I don’t view her as my daughter and she does not view me as a second mom. She’s respectful but our relationship has never been a mother/daughter type of relationship and I believe it works just fine for the both of us. A year ago, he and I had our first child together. So here is where our issue comes in. Every Saturday and sometimes Sundays he will leave A at the house with me and go to work. To me, I’m babysitting A. I’m watching her. He hates that I look at it that way. He is extremely offended by the term babysitting and I’m not sure why. It is not meant to be offensive. When shes in my care she is well taken care of. Sometimes we will stay in and other times we’ll enjoy the day outside of the house and strangers cant tell that she is not my daughter. His argument is that if A were my bio daughter I wouldn’t look at it as babysitting which I agreed. He believes that he doesn’t have to show me any appreciation for caring for her while he is away or even thank me. He feels that me viewing it as babysitting means that I don’t see her as part of our family which is the FARTHEST from the truth. I’ve sat and thought about it and I am having trouble understanding his POV. Maybe someone can help me see it from his perspective. Is it terrible that believe that when we leaves A with me that I am babysitting her? Does that mean that I can’t truly love?
submitted by /u/ThrowRAEmilii
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