My parents & I have been living separately for a very long time. Due to certain unforeseen circumstances, my mom had to move in with me for a couple of months. On our first day together, she accused me of watching porn because I didn't let her use my phone. Back when I was a teen, she tried to dissuade me from going to university (I had a full ride scholarship) because she never did. And when I was a child, she used to tell me everyone wants to swindle me… except her, of course. Going through my things, getting the belt when I disobeyed, yadda yadda. She's that kind of person.
Yesterday I came home early and found out she sold my tools to some guy. For cheap. Drill, grinder, everything, even the glue gun. Her reasoning? "Women are not supposed to own stuff like that. Your arms are too weak and you're going to become too independent to marry." (??????)
We had a huge fight, and she's spending the weekend at her sister's summerhouse. She's going to be back on Monday.
I don't know what to do. Mom's sister called today and started chastising me because I used the expression "fuck off" in front of my mother and that makes me a bad Christian. I asked her about mom. She told me mom thinks she did nothing wrong. I am the one who is supposed to apologize for "losing my temper", which… yeah, I shouldn't have been that loud.
It's going to be four weeks before my mom can move out. I love her, but she tries to control me/assert dominance the moment I let my guard down.
How do I make our time together feel less tense? How do I resolve the current conflict? Should I just pretend nothing happened? How do I make sure she doesn't pull something like that again?
TL;DR: Mom sold my tools while I was at work because she wants me to be a dainty little lady. I have to spend 4 more weeks with her in the house. How do we coexist in relative peace?
ETA: Here's the plan. I'm packing up my mother's stuff. I'm driving to my aunt's summerhouse. I'm ditching said stuff at her doorstep. If mom refuses to give me the key, I'm changing the locks. She has to spend a month at the house with no indoor plumbing? Not my problem. I'm also going to call the guy who bought my tools to inform him they are stolen property.
Thank you for screwing my head on straight, reddit. I didn't expect this to gain this much attention and there are too many comments for me to reply to all of them, but I want you to know I've read every single one. Kind words, harsh words, all appreciated. I'm going to read up on narcissists and grow a proper spine.
submitted by /u/ThrowRA14052023
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