Wife (42F) won’t talk to me (39M) for two days and I’m worried she will ask for a divorce.

I’m just feeling really anxious right now. We are married 5 years. She’s from Mexico and I’m from the US.

Basically, we had what I considered a small fight. She had to bring in breakfast for a thing in her office. She asked me to make it because I do more cooking. I went to the grocery store that evening and got the ingredients and a six-pack of beer to drink while making it.

I got home around 9pm. Usually she’s in bed already but she was eating cereal. My drinking is something we both want me to cut back on, but it’s not a huge point of contention. I drink a strong six pack about twice a week. So, it’s not like she’s thrilled I was going to be drinking but also not anything that weird. But she started saying that I’m acting like I want her to go away. The truth is that I did. I just wanted to pop in my AirPods for a podcast, drink my six pack, and do some cooking. So, I said, “No, my love. But I’m getting ready to do some cooking and listen to a podcast.” And then she left.

In the morning, she was being so rude and crabby. I admit the kitchen was messy, but I work from home and was planning to clean in the morning, which I did. Plus, she chose a kind of very hot thing to make, and the whole thing was a favor to her anyway.

She was speaking to me in Spanish, which was annoying because I was tired and hungover and I couldn’t fully understand her. And she starts bitching about me doing stuff wrong. Like she was mad because she said to put the receipt in her “bolsa” (bag or purse). And I put it in the bag, but she wanted it in her purse. Yes, in other circumstances I would have understood the difference because she said MY bolsa instead of THE bolsa. But I just heard bolsa and put it in the bag.

So she yelled about that and I said I didn’t understand because she was speaking Spanish. She speaks fluent English. My Spanish is better than her English, and we speak Spanish about 80% of the time. But I was already saying that I didn’t understand her, so she could have spoken English there.

Then she starts just being sarcastic, saying, “Of course. Because you don’t understand Spanish. We only speak English.” And I snapped at her, “You’re being a jerk. Stop being a jerk!” And she said I was being a jerk. And I said no she was and that was pretty much it.

Now she hasn’t spoken to me in two days. I don’t know everything why she’s so upset. I mean, if it’s because I called her a jerk. She was being one and that’s not that insulting. It’s not like I cussed her out. Or if it’s because I wanted her to go away while I cooked and drank. Or what. She refuses to speak to me at all.

I also feel like this is one of the few times I stood up for myself. She calls me grosero all the time, which is basically the same meaning and harshness as jerk. I feel like I’m stuck in this situation of her saying whatever she wants to me. But if I respond at all, then I’m the worst husband in the world and she wants to leave me. And I don’t really like having conflict, so I feel like I’m always just apologizing and making it better. And she just wants to leave me if I say anything against her. And I think it’s unfair because she knows that I’m going to stick with the marriage and her, but I have to navigate everything with the possibility over my head that she leaves me. So, I just have these doubts like “Am I totally in the wrong here?” “Why exactly is she so angry?” And “Is this marriage even workable if I don’t be a total doormat?”

Sorry for the long post. I’m just feeling a little lost here.

Edit: Just to say thanks to everyone and even though I’m not responding a lot, I am reading and listening and reflecting on it. Did not expect to get so much advice and perspectives, and I do appreciate it. Even just writing the post helped and your words also help. I am grateful.