I gave birth a week ago today. I was in labor for almost 3 days after being induced due to high blood pressure. My mom was on a work trip because I had no signs of labor and my doctor had been telling me how often women go to 40+ weeks the first time around. She rushed to get back, and did make the birth, but missed most of labor.
I labored alone for a long time, but by day 2 I needed someone and had my bf come to the hospital. I didn't even tell Bill that I was in labor because I knew how stressful it would be, and it was already not a great time. My bf was an absolutely wonderful support while I was in labor, and he and my mom kept me calm as I ended up in a c-section for not progressing enough.
Yall. This man was on his knees helping me spray my poor vagina after going to the bathroom because bending to try and reach it over my belly was absolutely painful af. He was supportive in a way I didn't even know I needed support.
After being able to recover and sleep I let Bill know our son had arrived. He was livid. He refused to come to the hospital and meet his son because I "stole the only chance to bond with him", and he called me a fake mother for having a c-section and said I was "lucky [his] son didn't die because of [my] stupidity, because if he would have [he] would have killed [me]" and also told me I was selfish. He said I "had better name him [ex name] Jr or we would be getting it changed when [he] took full custody".
I did not name him after ex, and I gave my son my last name and banned my ex from the hospital. Before I went in to labor I had an appointment with an attorney and was able to do it virtually once I was discharged. He said in our state many times a judge won't sign off on a father terminating their rights unless another person is going to step in that role. He also said to save everything from ex in case I need to file a restraining order.
Bill still has not met his son but I have offered it many of times. He has said some really nasty things about me breastfeeding my son while taking medication for pain and a blood pressure medication, saying I'm a doughy, unfit parent, etc. He lastly told me he would be coming and taking our son home with him until court and I then decided I was done. I'm not risking him taking my newborn and me not being able to get him back. Now I'm a horrible person for keeping his son away from him. I just can't win.
His mom has also reached out wanting to meet the baby, and has asked for "one on one" time with him and I've said no, but she is more than welcome to come visit him at my mom's with me there. She's declined because she's not having me "supervise her". I'm literally my son's only food source right now, but ok. I told her she could see him if ex ever got joint custody then and she "assured me" he would have full custody and reminded me how horrible I am for not having him or her there to advocate for my son and risking his life by opting for a doctor to "do all the work for me" ? and told me a judge would see how horrible I am.
My boyfriend has been over to visit every day, brought us things, and just overall been super helpful. He offered to do shifts with my mom to help me when I go home, but I'm honestly afraid to go home because I don't want Bill showing up. I really think I may need to file for a restraining order, and it sucks that it's come to this. My lawyer assured me that it wouldn't have a negative effect on me in court and said it would probably keep ex from getting any visitation but I've been reading all these horror stories of that not being true and the other parent getting primary custody because of it.
So. This where we're at.
submitted by /u/Cow_Lick2020
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