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snap for last tipper [555 tokens remaining]
Date: October 5, 2022
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Don't let your GF or other people gaslight you.
Trust is earned, it's not given, it's not owed. You trusted her up until you realized she omitted something important that should have been mentioned. It doesn't make you lose trust completely, because you're not clear yet if she lied on purpose to cover something, but it raises questions, legitimate ones.
Her accusing you of not trusting her is a way to deflect the blame and making the issue about your reaction instead of her behavior. If it was an honest omission because it never crossed her mind that his presence was worth mentioning, her reaction should be to realize her mistake and apologize, simply because she's sorry to have made you uncomfortable and hurting you is the last thing she wants.
So there is a good chance the omission was intentional, and that's a big issue, because you can't know for sure why she did it. It could be because she didn't want you to be uncomfortable, or it could be because she had another intent that would be incompatible with your relationship and your boundaries.
Now you can't be easy without figuring out what exactly went on during this trip, and it's her fault. That's why she should apologize and give you what you need to feel reassured that your trust wasn't misplaced.
She has no right to accuse you of not trusting her when she's the one who did something that could make you doubt her motives. She was wrong, it's her burden to recover the situation, it's not yours to swallow it blindly.
I concur with most here , tell your husband asap, and stay away from your BIL.
You: honey I love you but I don’t think your shooting blanks. Please go get a sperm count check
Him: why do you think that
You: because we have a bum in the oven again
I would like to think your marriage is strong enough to not go straight too you cheated. A simple sperm count will show him he’s fertile myrtle still.