Edit 1.5: some people are getting hung up on the “as long as it doesn’t bother me” statement and me mentioning reading or being on my phone. For clarification, if I’m reading a book or on my phone and my husband initiates sex by starting with foreplay it doesn’t “bother” me. I’m okay with that. I am NOT on my phone or reading a book during sex. I mentioned this b/c it was one of the excuses he made for doing what he did.
Also, If some of you are okay with a penis entering your body while you’re sleeping, that’s fine ,it’s what you like. I happen to NOT be okay with being awaken due to feeling something entering my sleeping body.
Edit 2: None of you know us in IRL(understandably) so I’d like to also add my husband always uses the like “I’ll never do it again” when I express my dislike of the way something was done or if I ask him not to do something.
Ex. If I ask him to address his mother overstepping boundaries, instead of speaking to her he’ll say he’ll just tell her to never come over again vs just addressing the issue. So by him saying he just won’t initiate again, he wasn’t saying this due to fear of doing the wrong this, this is a way he retaliates.
As the title says; this just happened so excuse me if I’m frantic and/or unorganized , also on mobile so please excuse any errors.
I was just sleeping(literally) after struggling to get our baby to sleep(she’s going through a phase where she only sleeps a little then wakes up crying badly) and I felt myself being entered. I immediately straightened my body and moved my hips forward to try to force him out only for him to grab my hip(I was laying on my side) and try to stop me and keep himself in. I ended up getting him out and he was still grabbing at my panties, trying to slide them down despite me moving his hands away and obviously NOT being okay with what’s going on.
I even asked him what the fuck and told him I wasn’t okay with what he did and mentioned how we had sex earlier in the day only for him to say, “you told me you didn’t care what I did as long as it didn’t bother you.” Excuse me, what?! How is penetrating someone in their sleep NOT bothering them?! Before bed I gave no indication that I wanted to have sex, I never said wake me for sex or anything pertaining to sex so idk how he’d come to this conclusion! I do remember in the past allowing sex while I was reading a book or on my phone which is what I was referring to about “bothering me” but never while I was sleeping have I been okay with being penetrated!
I physically got out of the bed, grabbing the baby and heading towards the door to leave because I felt so violated and afraid to go back to sleep only for him to block the door and not let me leave. I asked to leave the room and again explained how what he did wasn’t okay , I feel like I was raped only for him to say he’s my husband like that’s gives it a pass to do what he did and I was “over reacting”. I didn’t back down and said it doesn’t matter bc husbands can still rape their wives. He then tries to double down, referencing the earlier statements until finally saying fine and if I ever want to have sex again ,I’d just have to ask bc he won’t “ initiate” anymore. He then tells me to get back in bed so we can go to sleep.
Guys, idk what to do, I’m afraid to sleep, my stomach is churning to where I want to throw up and my body is like, idk, zeroing in(?) on the spot I was violated. I’m currently sitting on the floor of my room with my baby in my lap, rocking her to sleep. Any advice on how to move forward would be appreciated.
submitted by /u/PuppySacks
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