My husband and I have been married for 6 years, together for 8.
My husband, I'll call him Eric, has always been a really intense person but he's a good man. When we got together I noticed he had a much higher sex drive than I did, but I would usually have sex with him when I wasn't in mood anyway because I love him. He's never vocalized any problems until somewhat recently.
I should also mention, just before we got married we talked about having kids. I'm indifferent to kids whereas he doesn't want them, so agreed not to have them.
Over the last year my sex drive has been almost non existent. I've been checked by doctors and they say nothing is wrong physically but I should talk to a therapist, which I haven't done yet. I haven't even been able to just have sex with him to have sex like I was doing.
About 4 months ago he sat me down and we talked about all this and he said he needs sex, which I told him I understood but I can't give that to him right now. We argued for a bit and he ended up sleeping on the couch. In the morning he suggested we open the relationship. I was heartbroken.
He explained that we either give this a try or end the relationship. So I agreed. We set boundaries: no bringing the person to our house ever, no talking about it, always use protection and regularly get tested. He agreed to all of this.
I was actually surprised how okay I was with this as the months moved along. Even when he'd text me that he's going to be late, or when he'd kiss me and tell me has plans that night. It almost felt like a burden was lifted from me.
Well yesterday my husband sat me down again and said he something really difficult to tell me. For the last couple of months he's been seeing this one girl and she's pregnant. I think I dissociated a little because I heard him talking but couldn't understand the words he was saying. When I came back to reality I asked if it was his and is she keeping it. Yes and yes. And he plans on being in this child's life actively. I asked him who she was and he told me. It's someone I know, not well but I do know who she is.
I'm utterly heartbroken. I haven't told family or friends yet, I asked him not to. I asked him if he wants a divorce, he didn't say no. He's basically leaving it up to me.
So I guess my question is, do I cut my losses and move on or give this marriage another try?
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