You’re taking a strangers word, whom is considerably older than you, that she will not come at you for child support.
My dude, you have plenty more working years ahead of you. She’s a single mom. She’s going to get that check from you and secure her future. It’s called strategy and you’re taking the bait.
Non-subjective impartial advice is the best advice though. If people keep interjecting their own viewpoints that doesn't really help the person other than going with the masses. That's why therapists are taught to not introduce their biases when helping someone figure things out.
Take PIC sex off the table entirely for a while. Decide that you won't be putting your dick in her for, idk, a month? Then initiate sex with the sole intention of doing anything but using your dick. Finger her, go down on her, use toys, etc. Do whatever else you want, including grinding, dry humping, making out, etc. But if you approach sex enjoy ANY expectation of you needing your dick to get naked in order to please her, you might eliminate a ton of the mental pressure you're feeling.
Ultimately, sex should be fun and feel good. It doesn't really matter how you get there, and there doesn't have to be one standard expectation or act to get there. Give this a try–at the very least, you'll have a very satisfied gf who appreciates how much effort you're putting into making her feel good!
Hey man, you are what you are. If she is shallow enough to diminish you for such a simple thing that you cannot change, be glad you found out now. On to meet someone who appreciates you!
i want to warn you that as much as hes great and as much as you may truly love most of him…. he's only going to stay the same or get worse. mine was a lot like yours.
we got married, together 13 years. he never changed for the better, only the worse.
act as if you only have this life, and you may not get tomorrow.
he has an eating disorder, and until he realizes that and chooses to get help – nothing you do or say will register with him. Every time you say something, he'll lash out like he has already done.
It sounds like in your first relationship (or situationship, whatever you want to call it), you had an unhealthy infatuation that caused you to stay in the toxic relationship. In my experience, infatuation for the 'wrong' (read: a person who is toxic, doesn't reciprocrate, etc.) person will also feel like anxiety, which at first makes it feel exciting. In reality, it's really just anxiety over knowing your relationship is toxic, or that they are not into you the way you are into them. So if you then actually meet someone who is good, caring, hits all the boxes and shows a healthy amount of interest in you, it may feel different. Maybe the infatuation is still there, but the anxiety that came with it in your last relationship isn't. Then of course the current relationship probably feels much safer, and much warmer. But: less exciting, because you're not so anxious all the time. If you ask me, that's a good thing!
Your current relationship sounds like a healthy one. Don't mistake anxiety and infatuation for love. If I look at how you describe your partner, I think you're more than set in the love department!
That is why people should talk to their kids about this stuff. Once those pictures exist and somebody besides you has them, they could wind up anywhere.
“Got into a fight” is a very disingenuous way to describe an incident which resulted in the measures imposed on you. It was clearly a far more serious matter than you imply. I'm not sure what it is about the whole situation that is confusing your girlfriend but realistically she can't want to break up with you because that ship has sailed, you're broken up now. And reading both your post as written and between the lines, that's probably a very good thing.
Sounds like every woman you choose cheats on you. Don’t trust your gut. You should’ve left your current partner. You were right to cut off your first love. You are showing really poor judgment and it sounds like you have serious mental health issues to address before you’re in a relationship. Be single and get healthy. Then decide who will be a good partner to you.
Not saying I even want to or have the energy to cheat. It just sucks to have the punishment for something I didn’t do. I’m actually really happy being monogamous and cheating would be in my own disinterest.
She said she declined but that he had sent her our address. She did confirm the correct address. I scanned through all of the cameras and found nothing abnormal
You need to get STI tested now and in six months. She’s under the assumption she married someone without a sexual past. You are someone who is at a higher risk to have been exposed to a possible STI.
Yikes. You are being really sensible and he should understand that. If he wants to go without condoms he should get a vasectomy. They are reversible if you decide you want babies.
Tell him. This is so unimportant to guys (at least to me). And if he's mature, he'll understand why you lied, as for men, being a virgin at a later age is also “embarrassing” in that moment. He should be glad you came clean (which is a sign of trust).
It also gives you peace of mind. + if he reacts wonderful to it, it gives you the confidence & reassurance you can tell him anything and he'll react properly as well, which is good for your relationship.
I wouldn't know what to advise here except therpau for her so she can get things off her chest, and therpay for yourself for the same reasons- maybe even a session or two together. I'm currently 9 month pregnant with my second with a toddler and work full time as does my husband bit this preganancy is far far herder than my forst and my toddler is literally physically impossible for me handle. I'm frankly at my breaking point, working, toddlering and being pregnant- its so much harder in way that is indescribable- i also come across a whiney i guess to my husband but I can't make him understand just how broken my body feels.
I disagree. OP should stop doing anyone’s hair for free, it’s how she is making a living. It was okay to practice on them for a while but if they value her work they should pay for it.
I’d move on. No partner I’d want to stay with would ghost for a week. And no partner I’d want to be with would be so on edge about rereading a note they had wrote for me that they had previously let me read.
Here in Italy it is also commonly accepted platonically and among family members, which means chances are you would actually get more than one mimosa during Woman's Day
Personally.. I don't see the benefit of telling her my man. What's your end goal here – that she'll say 'oh I too always loved you' and break it off the three year relationship?
If anything, it'll make things a lot more complicated. Even if she's happy with the honesty, pretty sure mr 3 year boyfriend won't be. Worst case, you make everyone involved uncomfortable and lose a friend.
So my advice is, move on, tell yourself now isn't the right time. Fawning over a friend in a long term relationship isn't very healthy in its own right.
Break up with this garbage. His religion is not an excuse to treat you like shit or view you as less. This is part of a bigger problem for how religious people view women. I promise if he thinks less of you for this he will think less of you any time you disagree with him.
You don’t have any idea about the specifics of her disease. I am a type two diabetic as well, and mine is pretty easily controlled with dietary changes and a low dose of metformin. But that’s me and I don’t assume that everyone is like me.
I swear officer, her id might say 14 but she looked 24. And we like each other so age doesn't matter anyway.
Your argument from a different perspective does not hold up. You should date people your age and place in life or at least similar. Hope you'll find better luck with dating in the future.
Oh they have a personality, it's just a shit one.
You’re taking a strangers word, whom is considerably older than you, that she will not come at you for child support.
My dude, you have plenty more working years ahead of you. She’s a single mom. She’s going to get that check from you and secure her future. It’s called strategy and you’re taking the bait.
They are Christian. They are dicks.
I'll be blunt. Tell him to shit or get off the pot.
Non-subjective impartial advice is the best advice though. If people keep interjecting their own viewpoints that doesn't really help the person other than going with the masses. That's why therapists are taught to not introduce their biases when helping someone figure things out.
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Here's a thought:
Take PIC sex off the table entirely for a while. Decide that you won't be putting your dick in her for, idk, a month? Then initiate sex with the sole intention of doing anything but using your dick. Finger her, go down on her, use toys, etc. Do whatever else you want, including grinding, dry humping, making out, etc. But if you approach sex enjoy ANY expectation of you needing your dick to get naked in order to please her, you might eliminate a ton of the mental pressure you're feeling.
Ultimately, sex should be fun and feel good. It doesn't really matter how you get there, and there doesn't have to be one standard expectation or act to get there. Give this a try–at the very least, you'll have a very satisfied gf who appreciates how much effort you're putting into making her feel good!
Hey man, you are what you are. If she is shallow enough to diminish you for such a simple thing that you cannot change, be glad you found out now. On to meet someone who appreciates you!
bang maid.. well worded.
i want to warn you that as much as hes great and as much as you may truly love most of him…. he's only going to stay the same or get worse. mine was a lot like yours.
we got married, together 13 years. he never changed for the better, only the worse.
act as if you only have this life, and you may not get tomorrow.
Yes, this is breakup worthy.
No, it's not fatphobia.
he has an eating disorder, and until he realizes that and chooses to get help – nothing you do or say will register with him. Every time you say something, he'll lash out like he has already done.
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It sounds like in your first relationship (or situationship, whatever you want to call it), you had an unhealthy infatuation that caused you to stay in the toxic relationship. In my experience, infatuation for the 'wrong' (read: a person who is toxic, doesn't reciprocrate, etc.) person will also feel like anxiety, which at first makes it feel exciting. In reality, it's really just anxiety over knowing your relationship is toxic, or that they are not into you the way you are into them. So if you then actually meet someone who is good, caring, hits all the boxes and shows a healthy amount of interest in you, it may feel different. Maybe the infatuation is still there, but the anxiety that came with it in your last relationship isn't. Then of course the current relationship probably feels much safer, and much warmer. But: less exciting, because you're not so anxious all the time. If you ask me, that's a good thing!
Your current relationship sounds like a healthy one. Don't mistake anxiety and infatuation for love. If I look at how you describe your partner, I think you're more than set in the love department!
That is why people should talk to their kids about this stuff. Once those pictures exist and somebody besides you has them, they could wind up anywhere.
“Got into a fight” is a very disingenuous way to describe an incident which resulted in the measures imposed on you. It was clearly a far more serious matter than you imply. I'm not sure what it is about the whole situation that is confusing your girlfriend but realistically she can't want to break up with you because that ship has sailed, you're broken up now. And reading both your post as written and between the lines, that's probably a very good thing.
Sounds like every woman you choose cheats on you. Don’t trust your gut. You should’ve left your current partner. You were right to cut off your first love. You are showing really poor judgment and it sounds like you have serious mental health issues to address before you’re in a relationship. Be single and get healthy. Then decide who will be a good partner to you.
Not saying I even want to or have the energy to cheat. It just sucks to have the punishment for something I didn’t do. I’m actually really happy being monogamous and cheating would be in my own disinterest.
And piss
He's amazing until he isn't again and the cycle repeats itself. Is it worth it?
So… impregnate a girl he has known for 3 months. That's smart. /a
She said she declined but that he had sent her our address. She did confirm the correct address. I scanned through all of the cameras and found nothing abnormal
You need to get STI tested now and in six months. She’s under the assumption she married someone without a sexual past. You are someone who is at a higher risk to have been exposed to a possible STI.
Yikes. You are being really sensible and he should understand that. If he wants to go without condoms he should get a vasectomy. They are reversible if you decide you want babies.
Tell him. This is so unimportant to guys (at least to me). And if he's mature, he'll understand why you lied, as for men, being a virgin at a later age is also “embarrassing” in that moment. He should be glad you came clean (which is a sign of trust).
It also gives you peace of mind. + if he reacts wonderful to it, it gives you the confidence & reassurance you can tell him anything and he'll react properly as well, which is good for your relationship.
I wouldn't know what to advise here except therpau for her so she can get things off her chest, and therpay for yourself for the same reasons- maybe even a session or two together. I'm currently 9 month pregnant with my second with a toddler and work full time as does my husband bit this preganancy is far far herder than my forst and my toddler is literally physically impossible for me handle. I'm frankly at my breaking point, working, toddlering and being pregnant- its so much harder in way that is indescribable- i also come across a whiney i guess to my husband but I can't make him understand just how broken my body feels.
I disagree. OP should stop doing anyone’s hair for free, it’s how she is making a living. It was okay to practice on them for a while but if they value her work they should pay for it.
I’d move on. No partner I’d want to stay with would ghost for a week. And no partner I’d want to be with would be so on edge about rereading a note they had wrote for me that they had previously let me read.
Because the number of people who don’t know vasectomies can fail is staggering.
Here in Italy it is also commonly accepted platonically and among family members, which means chances are you would actually get more than one mimosa during Woman's Day
op thats bad news!! thats fraudulent claim under HR – there are legal repercussions.
– but on personal level I find it humiliating as you are married.
You need to clarify to corporate HR & his current branch HR that you are hsi wife & provide a certified true copy of your marriage cert/license.
something is wrong somewhere – is he living double life?
I think there is a post on from the son's point of view. Some time ago I read and is very similar
I think her consciousness switched universes, and she now suddenly is in the one where they are dating.
I appreciate this perspective. Thank you!
Knew him at work didn’t start talking to him even as a coworker till after I broke up with my ex
When she saw how much money you had, she felt challenged to throw as many red flags up as possible
Personally.. I don't see the benefit of telling her my man. What's your end goal here – that she'll say 'oh I too always loved you' and break it off the three year relationship?
If anything, it'll make things a lot more complicated. Even if she's happy with the honesty, pretty sure mr 3 year boyfriend won't be. Worst case, you make everyone involved uncomfortable and lose a friend.
So my advice is, move on, tell yourself now isn't the right time. Fawning over a friend in a long term relationship isn't very healthy in its own right.
Thankyou that’s true, definitely will 🙂
Break up with this garbage. His religion is not an excuse to treat you like shit or view you as less. This is part of a bigger problem for how religious people view women. I promise if he thinks less of you for this he will think less of you any time you disagree with him.
Why would you do that?
You don’t have any idea about the specifics of her disease. I am a type two diabetic as well, and mine is pretty easily controlled with dietary changes and a low dose of metformin. But that’s me and I don’t assume that everyone is like me.
Girl, you're too old for him!!
I swear officer, her id might say 14 but she looked 24. And we like each other so age doesn't matter anyway.
Your argument from a different perspective does not hold up. You should date people your age and place in life or at least similar. Hope you'll find better luck with dating in the future.