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SQUIRT IN UR FACE, TRY MY FVT PATTERNS , ✨33✨44✨55✨66✨99 [Multi Goal]
Date: October 6, 2022
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The comments are very telling. OP I wish you luck and I hope you find some grace for yourself. Please speak to a therapist and talk to your wife about getting into some. Don’t feel like you have to stay with her. Hopefully you guys can heal, but you should separate unless you want an unconventional marriage. Prioritize your self for a bit.
My fiancée friend has ADHD (and potentially an allergy to cleaning up the kitchen after herself lol), so when she cooks (which is often, and she is amazing at it – like, “gourmet chef” amazing), it looks like a fucking tornado hit the kitchen. Cleaning just isn’t part of her creative process, I guess(?). I dunno, I love her, we all have quirks and things we do that don’t make sense. Being a culinary Tasmanian Devil happens to be one of hers.
It’s a mild annoyance at most. Since I can’t imagine your wife leaving a bigger mess than my fiancée (because honestly, I just don’t know if such a thing is physically possible), I am led to believe what you are describing is actually a larger imbalance and source of friction in your overall relationship, and this thing with the dishes is just a symptom of the issue, but has become symbolic of said issue to you – that it’s not really about the dishes at all.
It sounds like in general you feel like you’re shouldering the majority of the chores in your relationship, on top of working a lot more. Add a few kids, lose a few hours of sleep… yeah, you’re tired and overworked. This is pretty normal.
First off, I think just talking about it with her will help. Go in with an open mind and listen to her as well. There may be an imbalance but overall two adults can work through these things.
Second off, the best money you can possibly spend, if you can afford it, is a cleaning service. We pay like $125 for a maid service to come once a month – that reduces so much stress and friction in our relationship, and gives back hours and hours a month that would be spent on those activities. Obviously that’s not an option for everyone, but in my experience, it’s one of the best spends for reducing stress and improving quality of life.