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Date: September 20, 2022
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We… we don’t CONSCIOUSLY care who opens the door in our relationship. But if one of us opens it the better hold it for the other because that’s polite. Typically if he opens the first door, I’ll go on and open the second door. Tit for tat. But if I’m with my dad he will grab the door even if I open it and let me go in first, always
Lots of people meet their partner through work, that’s not a big deal. You clearly are both flirting like crazy with each other. I would bite the bullet and ask if she wants to go for coffee after work. Just keep up the light flirting and ask her if she would like to go on a date (she may already think of this coffee as a date). If she says yes, say can you keep it professional in work and keep everything else outside work, put in boundaries and then keep all your texts etc, so if there suddenly are charges of any inappropriate behavior for work you can show you were dating outside work.
Be prepared for how you will respond if she says “no”. Ask her if that means “no” forever or “no” right now, if she is shy she may find it very hot to move the relationship forward. The fact that you are talking every day even in your days off AND she is making excuses to touch you gives the impression she is into you though. Just don’t cross any boundaries in terms of moving beyond just friends without her express consent.
^ This.
You go by the culture of the country you are visiting, not the one you are coming FROM.
What if you know for a fact (90% chance) that she won’t be understanding and will leave, would you still risk telling her?
That's more of a reason to tell her. If you know that this is probably a dealbreaker and intentionally keep it from her, you're not being respectful of her right to make an informed choice about the relationship. When discussing “risk” you are only thinking about yourself and what you want/don't want to lose. What she wants is equally important.
Mate, I don’t care. He broke up with and then left. It wasn’t cheating.
Thank you for the tough love, haha! I go through this thought process every time I get the urge to reach out to him. I totally agree with you but it’s hot because I can’t get him out of my head!
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7 months in and you’re calling it quits on the father to your husband? Work through it. Hopefully he learns quick.
My SO & I have been together 8 years, he just recently brought up a 3some and was fine if it was another guy he also suggested me having sex with another guy or girl if he could watch. I wasn't comfortable with either and he was totally fine with that, we found other ways to spice things up like having intercorse live! while others watched etc. But if your guy can't respect you then he's not for you, please don't do it if you don't want to it would effect you in ways you couldn't imagine. Maybe bring up the video thing if you're comfortable with that?
Congrations on your bubba.
That's incredibly gross and tasteless of your husband. Not the 'funny joke' he thought it was. He needs to pull his head out if his arse. I'd be pushing the 'clearance ' out even longer if it were me, he is seriously lacking respect for you. I hope he's at least pulling his weight with your baby.
I wouldn’t involve myself into it unless he mentions it or ask advice.
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Tldr; stop mentioning weight it will only demotivate. Accept that all girls will gain weight as they become women. You will too, just a bit later. Only if she totally devolves into never doing anything and always eating shit should you say anything. And even then, therapy is the way, not telling her to go to the gym. And last but not least, say you're sorry and that you have had a change of perspective and you'll learn from this.
Holy shit I can't believe my eyes. I don't know how tall she is but if she is anything close to 160cm (5'3) then that's bordering on underweight. She's at the age where some weight gain is almost inevitable and nothing she does (except unhealthy dieting) will change that. Us men need to understand that womens bodie are different and while us men can more easily control our weight, it isn't the case for women. Im not saying we have total control either but based on the fact that they have a vastly different hormonal cycle alone, we can already say that it's way different for women. I'd say you gave to learn to appreciate a woman despite a change like that. 15kg sway will not make a difference in the long run. If you think you'll be able to date 20 year old girls your whole life, then maybe you can keep that standard but man you're delusional if you think you'll be dating 120lb girls your whole life. What if she gets pregnant and gains that inevitable 15kg (35ish lb)?
But if you're certain that that will always be your preference and you'll never settle for anything else except models then that's your choice and I'd suggest you leave her for your and her sake. Can't see you having much luck finding a lifelong partner with such high standards when you will inevitably gain a couple pounds or wrinkles yourself.
By pointing out her weight and pushing her to do more you'll only make her feel worse about the thing that she's already aware of (her perfectly normal and inevitable weight gain as she becomes a woman). You'll gain it too at around 27. Me and all my friends sure did and I doublt that you're any different. The sooner you realize this, the better. It might save you a good relationship. And to top this off, if you don't mention her weight and just let her do her, she will always be more motivated to do sports than if she's constantly being bombarded with negative and demotivating comments from you.
???
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This is a big part of the reason why I haven’t had a clear discussion and set the boundaries. She’s helping, she’s not just hanging out in the couch. She helps me because she knows I carry a big burden. My husband isn’t that helpful with household chores. That’s a topic for a whole other Reddit post but it is relevant to the fact that my mom is being extra helpful.
Don't go back.
He can get the surgery since he likes large breasts.
Tell your family what's going on and get their support.
It doesn’t sound like you guys were in a real serious relationship when the kiss happened, if you were , it can be pretty confusing to go from friends with benefit , than to dating , THAN back to not dating and then to dating . I’m sure that didn’t inspire too much confidence in the relationship status and I’m curious if when the party happened you both made it clear you were in a monogamous relationship .
I think you guys are young , I don’t think what she did was all that bad considering the on and off nature to how u guys got together . It sounds like she regrets it . Sounds like she won’t do it again now knowing how much you care . But it reallt depends all on the most important thing is how much do you like her ? Do u like her enough to look past it . If she’s just kinda a eh she’s not that important to you , than you may not be able to get passed her lie and your both too young to waste eachother time. You need to do some deep reflecting not so much about what she did but about how important she is to you and how big your feelings are for you . You should be able to answer your own question if you can decide if she is worth it , like in a year , will this even matter to you , or do u hope your still with her because she makes you that happy .
I hope this makes sense
Get therapy, seriously. And talk to her, tell her about your concerns but also make sure to tell her that this is your issue and you're dealing with it and not something she is causing. You need help, this is not something she can do alone
But that’s on him and has nothing to do with you
I agree with you there, it's a lot of work, but it's also a very big lie if she's lying. The risk/reward ratio is there.
Whether he's gay or not doesn't even matter, what matters is your relationship with him isn't going anywhere. He wasn't ready to commit to moving in with you which is fine but he makes a big move without even telling you until he's already decided and done it AND he's making it clear you aren't welcome there. How exactly would you make this relationship work now considering he's basically ended the relationship without actually telling you that…
You’re going to break her heart, that’s just the reality of the situation but you absolutely need to tell her so that she can get checked out.
Avoiding this conversation and putting her health further at risk is 100 times more or a violation than the cheating (and that was low down scum bag behaviour)
I’m trying to think but I’m trembling and scared.
This is what she's upset about vs. a 25 yr old grooming a 17 yr old?
Jesus Christ wall of text and you repeated yourself a lot.
I think he's overreacting, it seems like he's looking back at your previous sexual interactions under a different light and overthinking a great deal. I'm not really sure though what about this is making him just shut down entirely. It's definitely not a healthy or mature response.
Thing is it's been days already and he's actively avoiding you. This is pretty alien to me, if my significant other avoided me for several days, the relationship would be over.
I'd start preparing yourself for the possibility of this relationship effectively being over, unfortunately.
She can feel how she feels (guilty) but you’re not “making” her do anything. You shared your feelings about her behavior.
Seems to me she’s just not that into you.
I knew right away this was gonna be about someone whose addicted to porn. Sorry but relationships with this particular individual won’t work out unless he goes to sex and love addicts anonymous or seeks real professional help. Porn kills love, romance and affection within relationships. Speaking from experience
You don’t trust them.. end of story… time to leave their toxic friendship behind..
For me it’s too big an age gap. I’m 31 now, 20 YO’s look SO young. When I was 27 and dating I felt the same. That’s the main issue for me, 20 YO’s rarely look like adults.
Not judging you here but there are also a couple of common trends at this age group and age range – the guy is usually pretty immature and has to date younger women in order to feel more mature (which to an extent you’ve already said) – the woman usually feels and acts like they are mature because they’re dating someone that’s older but in reality, a 20 YO rarely has a high level of maturity, particularly in relationships