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OIl ass
Date: October 8, 2022
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PleasingMyPussyNow
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He asked for the break so I'd leave it to him to decide when that “break” is over. That being said, if you feel like you've waited long enough. I'd reach out and say that you're done waiting and you wish him nothing but the best.
My advice would be to ask him how he feels about procrastination as a strategy for life. If you trigger a defense mechanism, you take a deeper breath and in a more slow deliberate manner tell him that you felt that he was suffering and wondered if you could be of any assistance to him. You don't know exactly what to do so that he benefits from your desire to help, so you wanted to know if this was an area where he felt like he needed some help. If it isn't, then if he could help you by solving where you fit into the puzzle so that you can give freely without reservation.
You speak of needing anyone other than your wife and kids is more insecurity, but it's the opposite that is true. If you close yourself off from everyone then the truth of the matter is you're still holding on to your trauma's and unable to cope with them. People are amazing, not everyone, but there are tons of good quality people out there, it's not all about you, nor is it all about them.
You've given up and that is sad. Get some help to overcome your trauma and be the best person you can be. Then you can surround yourself with others that are looking to grow as well.
If anything you're limiting your children by being closed off.
Have you been sneaky while trying to organise the proposal or anything that may be making her feel like you are hiding something.
Go to the doctor. She could wear adult diapers until this is under control.
Yeah, and these things illustrate that he’s not mature enough for a women that’s 29yo or even to be in a relationship at all.
OP. Relax. It’s normal to have attractions to people. Keep your drinking to a minimum, or don’t drink at all, and if you feel like you “can’t control” yourself then avoid her the best you can. I know avoiding her all together may be impossible but like I said, avoid her THE BEST YOU CAN. This, like everything, will pass.
Good luck
You don't need Reddit you need a professional therapist to help you out. Also, if your BF is with you that means he likes you for who you are. I wouldn't under estimate yourself.
You two were talking for 8 weeks and it never sounded like a full blown relationship. I don’t think he needed to say anything, but I also feel like you didn’t need to chase after him for the same explanation twice.
What do you think about?
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What do you need advice for? Get divorced
thank you! i mean the thing is i cant point why i felt so anxious even when things were fine…. i dont know… im súper new to this relationship stuff
That’s ok dear divorce is patient it can wait on you all day
The first conversation should have been the last. His actions or lack thereof, are his answer. It’s up to you to accept it or move on. Boundaries are for you to keep, not to impose on him.
Nobody’s saying it’s okay – just that OP mentions that they really don’t want to leave partner, and unfortunately, Partner seems like they need to be left/are going to leave.
Have you guys discussed boundaries? If have, and this is crossing one of those boundaries, then have a talk with her and let her know that it bothers you. If you haven't had a talk about boundaries, then she isn't a mind reader, have a talk with her and let her know it bothers you.
If she tells you you're insecure or controlling (and maybe you are) then let her know that it still bothers you and you would like to find a compromise. You're both young, learn to communicate with each other.
No. NO. It is not your fault for “not being clear with him about children”. His behavior has been inexcusable. Abusive. Criminal. And you have done NOTHING to deserve it. If you can still access the morning after pill, please do. If you do become pregnant and need help accessing abortion services, planned parenthood.com is a good resource. Please do not stay with this man. He does not love you in the way you should be loved. What he feels is something else. You don’t need it.
Lol I get that. I’m just saying if someone cheats once it doesn’t make them an irreparable POS. I cheated in my early 20’s. Dumb shit to do, felt horrible and changed. I’m 40 now and haven’t done it since. Been with my wife for over ten years. People can change when they truly want to be better.
I agree it wasn’t OP’s place to out her, but the drop of poison in their relationship is definitely the fact that she hid and lied about a significant part of her past and past relationships. If she wants to turn over a new leaf and wants her family to have faith in her, she should stop lying to every single person she dates. What do you think she told him happened to end all her past relationships? Lies.
It already sounds really bad an$ this stuff just gets worse once your married.
He is wasting your time. Lying. Cheating. Leave now befor you waste another year of your life with him.
First of all I just wanted to say that it’s not (or at least shouldn’t) be mandatory for the man to be the one proposing and also that being married is not a precondition to having kids. Could it be that he’s not into marriage per se but would be ok with having kids with you?
That said, age wise you’re both quite young. I was looking at some data. In the EU the average age of a mother when she has her first child is around 30, in the US it’s 27ish, while for fathers it’s usually a couple of years more.
It may just be that he’s not yet in a phase where he thinks he could support a child. Are you ok economically speaking? Can you afford to live! on a single income for a while or to pay baby sitters without lowering your overall quality of life?
Then of course, if he’s not thinking about these things but truly just lives in the moment without any plan for the future, you should probably just go your own way to find your own happiness
This is probably a good opportunity to start learning how to react to your parents when you give them news they don’t want to hear, considering you’re convinced it’s going to go badly. This is not the first time you’re going to be afraid of their disapproval.
Part of growing up is learning that they are human beings who are also flawed – part of them growing further is realizing that their children aren’t always going to make decisions that they approve of. Working through that and learning how to love each other in spite of your differences is what makes a family actually happy.
Communicate, prove them wrong about their preconceived notions about how you should meet an SO. Yes, a lot could go wrong – but this could also be your first step into having an actual adult relationship with them.
Oh, you must be new to Reddit.
It's a Reddit trademark to assume the worst about everyone at all times. It's getting kind of tiring, to be honest.
Makes you wonder what else he is doing that you haven't (consciously) noticed yet
What sorts of things are you actually arguing about during these periods?
Some people simply dont handle LDR well. Personally I'm not huge on texting and calling… and I dont need constant contact to maintain a loving relationship, as long as I know that you're safe. This trait is amplified if I'm also super busy with other things. Maybe your bf is the same way, and feels like you're asking for too much? Maybe he feels abandoned when his girlfriend leaves for 2-3 months every year?
Most dog aggressive dogs are not human aggressive. But I sure as hell wouldn’t risk it. No dog should be left alone with a baby/toddler regardless.
That's pretty much how my wife and I do things, and it definitely works for us.
Kate is the toxic one it seems, and jealous of the fact you cut her out of your life. Her current behavior just proves that your GF gave you great advice in telling you to cut her off
How exactly were you an a**hole by asking questions about such illness? He should have been aware that such statement will bring out questions from you. He definitely shouldn't have mentioned it by the end of the date as if it's nothing that serious. Am I missing something?
No, no you are right. Totally glad I came on here first instead of getting upset.
This, 100%! I really believe this is an f'ed up power move on their part.
OP needs to continue with her – very reasonable – decision to not attend a celebration that she has no business being a part of.
Innocent man is a really weird detail. Why would we assume he wasn’t innocent?
This is bogus. That’s why the weird detail was included.
Listen to your parents and find someone your age without years of prison behind him.
She’s very much overreacting. I don’t even talk to my mom every day, let alone for hours every day. What do you guys talk about for that long? Maybe try to see if she’s interested in starting a hobby or something just to take up her time throughout the day so she will hopefully not notice if you don’t talk to her for a little bit.
Most medical benefits will reimburse you. My coverage at work covers up to $5k a year
So why didn't you say to him the whole truth from the beginning? Did you want him to invest in your relationship? The one that he learnt from the beginning he didn't have a problem until he learnt for the second one while he was IN the relationship with you. After learning that he lost it didn't he? And then he brought up also the first one.
!remindme 4 weeks
That’s my fear for sure.
Apologies, it was very late when I read this and my brain filled in some gaps lol
Then that's a relationship man.
Honestly you would have a leg to stand on here if you weren't living in her place rent free. I mean you're contributing to the household in other ways financially but you're not paying any rent/mortgage which is the largest monthly expense for most people. You're saying that you would spend less money living on your own? I'm not sure how? I'll need more insight there
To me now that she's back to work you're living situation seems quite fair. You guys aren't married so it's kind of tricky. If she wants to buy handbags with her spare money she can. The only thing I can really suggest is that maybe she contributes more towards vacations or you guys stop taking as many vacations altogether?
In a perfect scenario what would you like to see her do more or less of?
This is very obviously a case autism.
“Why don't you just tell me why you ghosted me on my birthday.”
Sounds like this is an emotional affair for him. Sounds like his wife does not know anything about your friendship and would be PISSED if she did.
You had a conversation but did you have the conversation that is sitting in the back of your mind?