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Tommy and Hans 21, 19 YEARS, 22 y.o.
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Live! Live Sex Chat rooms Tommy and Hans 21, 19 YEARS
Date: October 9, 2022
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When a guy calls their girlfriend Bruh and Broski, they're usually saying that they only see you as a booty call. Don't worry about his feelings, or whether or not it might seem rude. He's making you feel like crap and it's turning you off every time he says it. Tell him you don't like it and he needs to stop. If he can't/won't then that tells you exactly how he views your relationship.
I'm sorry if this sounds mean but I really don't care how she feels because I don't know her personally. I don't really care if I am being selfish because I care about myself and what I went through. I feel like I should put myself first and I should tell her because I am the one that deserves better. I could care less about her, like I said she's from a diff country and I have nothing to lose if I expose her bf. Yes, I understand this would hurt her. But to see her continue this relationship with her cheating bf?? if I was in her position, someone telling her would be doing her a favour, no?
Maybe you should change his contact info in your phone to “Ex dipshit”.
Good! You sound like a very sweet person, don’t waste your time on someone like that.
hi dear, i went through the same situation with my current boyfriend. i also dealt with an ex who was a narcissist cheater so i understand your trauma and thinking process tremendously. as everyone below has suggested, therapy is very wise. please do understand that it’s not your fault nor your boyfriend. your emotions are valid and should not be shamed. however, it’s good to recognize that it’s just an insecurity and that talking it out with your boyfriend can relieve a lot of unnecessary stress. i’m sure he loves you a lot and doesn’t want you to feel hurt by his actions. definitely communicate whenever you feel ready. stay strong!
Agreed! Thank you… must be a pretty serious fetish in this case
Racism goes both ways. Don’t know if it’s a good idea to stay with him if race plays such a strong role in your life. He should know how you feel.
Okay, and?
So she was 18 and your brother was 29 and you are worried for YOUR BROTHER ?? Who dated a fucking child? What the f is wrong with you?
Yeah I think he wasn’t hoping I’d be approved for time off. I don’t think I insinuated or pressured to meet his family just yet, maybe he was overzealous and felt bad taking it back.
Still, the silence is deafening
we've been talking for about a year now. But we started getting closer about 10 months ago- not much difference though, although we've only been talking through chats- we never really tried to go more into sharing our personal information, or secrets until about 1 or 2 months ago when he started doing that. I, however, only managed to give my first name and age.
We’ve tried the budget idea before due to me being in a tight financial spot. He was trying to do a $50 limit but I had other people I wanted to at least try to get something for. We settled on a $20 limit and that was the year of the water bottle in which he was irritated because he felt like no thought went into it. So we just decided not to say the amount of money anymore and just try to stick to the sentimental ideas and that money wouldn’t matter if it was sentimental. But it’s never sentimental enough idk…
Yes but you can’t see them if you like them and they don’t like you back, which is the situation we’d be talking about here if he did that
I Dont know why it’s relevant but this is my last semester and I apply to medical school for spring. The intention was always to go to medical school and he knew that so he offered “since I will be so busy with medical school” that he would pay the residential bills while I just focused on education
But you’ll still be a non Muslim even if you say you converted because you don’t actually believe it. Whatever I guess those people are just using religion to show off, which is disrespectful.
I feel like everything you posted is so normal. When someone dies, people often bring food to their relatives as a nice gesture.
Also, I love to cook and enjoy when people are pleased with what I’ve made them. This is normal. It’s not fishing for compliments.
I think you should keep cooking for your loved ones no matter what your boyfriend says. Either he gets over or he doesn’t and you find someone who appreciates your wonderful food and your thoughtfulness. ❤️
Thank you, I will try not to.
My husband is a shift worker. When he’s up he’s up, lights on radio going. We have separate bedrooms/beds & have done for years. Absofuckinglutely bed sharing is not for me. I am a need the alarm to go off on snooze at least 5 times, a cup of coffee & all my meds to kick in at least 30 mins before I can even think about getting out of bed. We’ve had separate bedrooms for the last couple of decades. Best thing we ever did. It works for us & we don’t care about anyone’s opinion on it.
I used to deal with this – therapy was super helpful for me.
Ex girlfriend I hope.
Not at all surprised. I just have zero sympathy when i know that no steps have been taken.
You can voice your feelings as they are valid but also communicate you’re not mad at him or anyone in particular. Neither of you knew exactly what was happening or who would be there and it turned out to be something you would’ve enjoyed. I think that was the risk you took in not going. It’s okay to feel upset by it, but don’t blame him or put him down for it. Also if he comes back all excited, don’t immediately shoot it down.
You’re an adult there’s no reason for her to have to stay home with you because you’re sick
Yeah I get the same sense. I already found text messages last year of him talking to other girls. I know what I need to do now.
My wife and I have a 14 year age gap and while it is two women (which may change people’s perceptions) I think you have to ask yourself “is anybody in this because they are fetishizing age.” I know for me (the older one) it was the opposite. My dating app filters cut off way above her age but we met at a bar and hit it off. I didn’t realize how old she was until the first official date and almost broke it off when I found out. In the end it wasn’t about fetishizing age for us and it works.
My wife and I have a 14 year age gap and while it is two women (which may change people’s perceptions) I think you have to ask yourself “is anybody in this because they are fetishizing age.” I know for me (the older one) it was the opposite. My dating app filters cut off way above her age but we met at a bar and hit it off. I didn’t realize how old she was until the first official date and almost broke it off when I found out. In the end it wasn’t about fetishizing age for us and it works.
motel is mostly an American word, so hotel does not imply fancy, it's just the general word. I am assuming they live in a conservative country where single people are supposed to live with their parents until marriage.
Right?! Bummer. He doesn’t want to fix things, he wants access to this baby. So he can be grandpa of the year in his head. It’s all about him.
Probably after reading these comments I will have to talk to him, even though I dont want to. I dont like thinking about my dad being the boss of my wife, because in my house I should be the boss or my girlfriend and me are both the boss you know. I dont think I really thought so much about it as a big deal because I only moved out two years ago so I still see my dad as the boss of me sometimes for little things like this. I would rather have my girlfriend than anything but I was really hoping that I could find a way to avoid any situations like this.
This ends one of two ways: you walk out, he eventually beats you to death after wearing down your boundaries for decades.
I suppose you just living as a husk of a human until you die of natural causes after being subservient to him for the rest of your life is a third option.
Ryan's her rebound, but he probably wont be in his current relationship much longer, and he also probably won't be in a future relationship with Jen.
You got tired of waiting for him to be something he’s not. That’s ok, you’re just not compatible in ways you need him to be. Unless he’s actively working on improving himself to get you back, accept that it’s over and your lack of emotion around it is likely because you subconsciously already knew.
You'll get “Get out” vibes
You want him to be mindful of your fear of abandonment but your not emphatic to his fear of confrontation.
Not enough information about him or your overall relationship to know if he’ll come back. Not all men are alike.
Exactly. Whatever happened to recycling?
Are you kidding me? That's the entire point of live forums and now that you are here so let me tell you, this guy is not good for you. He wants a pass to sleep with other women while you stay loyal to him. That's not how open relationship works. Do you really want to be with a guy who's already acting like this in a six months old relationship. And even if you agreed for this arrangement, make sure you do it because you are fine with. Not just to please your bf.
Side note: My currently getting help, but I'm not scheduled until Thursday. So I'm trying to find any resource I can right now to keep me on the rails.
Why doesn’t he take her surname? Problem solved.
Wedding planning is a whole nothing thing, but when it comes to chores yes you should generally know what to do.
Dishes get done after any meal/cooking, most people vacuum/sweep/mop at least once a week, laundry once a week or every two weeks depending on a lot. At your age you shouldn't really have to ask about chores, but if you do – ask her once and WRITE IT DOWN. If you keep forgetting than write stuff down!
You’ve been/known your bf for 2 years when you were 23 and he 35. The big age gap is already something to be concerned about. He pursued you for a reason. Now you bust him with underage accounts on his insta? That’s gross and nothing can excuse that.
This is a weird one, because a lot of people are living off like 50-60k a year, and will be like 'dang, one of you is making 400k and you're relationship problem is money related?'
I get that you're scared!
His mom is very likely in immense pain of losing her son and just wants somewhere to direct the blame. I wouldn't interact with her at all, she has her own battle to fight and I think contacting her would just feed her anger.
I doubt that she actually blames you. She just wants to blame someone and you are the closest.
But think of it this way: If she was going to send someone after you, it would be right after it happened when her anger and mourning was the deepest.
Do you have a friend you can stay with? I really don't think she'll come after you but it seems like you could need someone around you until you feel safer.
Stop searching and looking at other girls!
Make sure you leave bf high and dry the whole trip. That's for couples, not cousins
Why do people like arguing semantics when there’s clearly a bigger picture? OP is no longer comfortable. This is not a normal request in monogamous marriages, it stands reasonable that OP’s partner should accept that things changed and OP was not comfortable after a night’s though
Yes. Yes, that's also completely fucked up. Who taught you that there are places and pedestals for first, second, or third place in a relationship? Do you think you get a ribbon for first place? Does that person just live on forever, as some kind of noble deity?
If Emily was as great as you're saying she is, she would never want you to shit on yourself or others because you think you should compare everyone to her.
And let me ask you: do you compare your kids openly to one another? “Look, that drawing was okay, but it's nowhere near as good as your sibling, and that's because you will always be in second place.”
No? Gee, is that fucked up?
maybe there was a misunderstanding i have not reached out to her, she reaches out to me and i just reply with what i said cuz i dont know what else to say my bigger point in this post was really that i dont feel comfortable and it hurts when she texts and i was wondering if it be better if i asked her to send updates to my mom if she wants to send updates. i did not ask her to text me updates my parents and i discussed and i agreed i would not reach out and i have not. appolgizes i didnt clarify very well.
The on again off again friendship is its own post, really. There is too much to get into, but that's why.
Hey, this is so well said, and I'm happy we get to hear from you!! I didn't like how people were tearing you down because I understand that something like this would be hard to disclose. Happy that things are okay between you two ?
Best of luck to you.
Have you considered that they’re your friends because you are that person? (IE sexually “open”, or however you want to put it)
They definitely do see it as “she doesn’t think it’s a big deal, so why would it be a big deal with me?” – which is why they’d be surprised if suddenly it is an issue, because the impression they’ve previously been given is that it isn’t a big deal for you and you’re open and honest about it.
The reality is that lots of them will be “friends” to this extent – they’re hanging around for “their opportunity”.
Unfortunately that is just a reality for “free and open about sex” people.
You’re popular and have loads of friends because you have casual sex with acquaintances, and the only way to be in with a chance is to be your acquaintance – so no one ever drills down how close your relationship is for fear of losing their chance for sex.
Your boyfriend would rather you sit uncomfortably in wet muddy clothes than let his dumb ego and unfounded insecurities take over. That's all I'm getting from this
So, uh, what effort is HE putting into the relationship and/or resolving his woes?
Easy answer is that he wanted you to be his mom and he preformed what he needed too to get you to marry him. And now can't be bothered.
Other options are he is depressed. Addicted to games,
Also his behaviour is a type of abuse or using you. Is another way of putting it.
It doesn't sound like you need counselling or marriage therapy It sounds like he isn't worth your time and effort. The four failed marriages are serious red flags in this instance.
He has made it clear that your not important to him. Kick him out. Your not a live in maid.
You definitely shouldn’t move in with him. He obviously has a fairly serious drinking problem that he’s not interested in addressing. Because he’ll only get sober when he wants to, there’s no good reason for you to stick around to see what his “rock bottom” looks like. You’re only six months in, and his drinking is already causing problems. Those will only get worse. Save yourself time & heartache & break up.
For realllll
He’s too old for you and he’s with you for whatever fun you offer.
You can do better. You’re just one in a long line of girls for him. He isn’t relationship material.
He’s too old for you and he’s with you for whatever fun you offer.
You can do better. You’re just one in a long line of girls for him. He isn’t relationship material.
Edit is in posting but thanks for assuming lmao Hope it made you feel better attacking someone on the internet
OP you should explain to him that you are aware of his prior to relationship intentions and that he needs a therapist. It could be harmless but could be considered stocking. You shouldn’t just end it. Just give him clear boundaries to follow for now until this situation gets resolved.
Agreed. This seems like an overreaction but it also seems there’s a myriad of other problems and everyone has their breaking point. Better to leave before the marriage than after though.
It's unrealistic to have a relationship without issues.
What you have to decide is whether or not you can cope with these type of relationship issues.
We as outsiders with unbiased opinions can tell you that what you are describing sounds unhealthy, but you have to decide for yourself what you are willing to put up with and work through.
The thing you need to be aware of is that you can not fix her issues. She has to do that for herself by herself, because she loves herself. Then, you have your separate relationship issues that have to be dealt with like the incompatibility, arguing, etc.
Dude fuck anybody's judgement about you. It's become a popular sport to judge nowadays and fuck that. If you really like this dame be strong in your conviction. See if she'd be willing to try a date. If not ok you gave it a shot and we're honest with yourself and her. That's all that matters. Do not listen to anyone saying you're creepy or whatever.
I don't really feel like making a full update. Things took a very grim turn. The other night after talking about this a bit, he went down a spiral. In terms of knowing that if he does this, he's hurting me and risks losing me forever and feeling like it was impossible for him to move on from this insecurity without trying to be with other people and feeling like my 'equal' (Ik its stupid but that's how he feels). But he ended up trying to end his own life. He felt like that was the only solution. That it would hurt me less than 1way monogamy and just giving up on us forever. Obviously, the most important thing now is to get him a therapist ASAP and to make sure he has a good support system outside of me so that going forward, if I need to cut contact then I'll know that he's safe. Despite the fact that he's been absurd, I do know that he's genuine. Even if we can't be together, I just want him to be safe and happy.
You don't “tell her” who to talk to; you ask her if she'd be willing to do that.
But as for Greg, I suspect your GF was enjoying the attention, but I don't think anything happened between them. It doesn't sound like you think so, either.
In which case, this situation is now resolved for you and your girlfriend.
It's not your job to “punish” Greg for behaviour you consider unacceptable. 1) Your girlfriend didn't discourage it. 2) You have no idea about Greg's relationship. It may be open, for all you know. 3) What could you objectively say, given your girlfriend's apparent comfort with his behaviour? “Your husband was very friendly to my girlfriend”? 4) If the wife finds out, she may blame your girlfriend, and further escalate things.
All in all, there's no upside. Don't bring Greg back into your lives.
Leave man. Her mother told her to stop. Her friend told her to stop. She made vows to you. In the end, she ignored it all and betrayed you. This wasn’t a one time thing out of nowhere and immediately confessed. It was an ongoing relationship that she did everything in her power to conceal from you.
You can’t trust her because she’s not trustworthy. Leave and find happiness with someone who deserves you.