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Ts Mary Jane, 23 y.o.
Location: United States
Room subject: lovense goes in [328 tokens left]
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Date: October 9, 2022
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For me personally i like to keep my partner and my friend group (for the main part) separate, it's nice to have your own life and own things
It only gets worse.
General rule for friends is they pay for the supplies. Sure your time is worth money but you're friends so that should be free. But supplies are not free and she knows that . When she asks say sure but with a supply list. So she can either go buy her own for you to use or at very least take the hint that you are not a doormat.
I… I don’t know how I misread that but ouch.
I have had friends tell me they thought I was intimidating before they got to know me so maybe this body language thing is a big part of it. Thanks for the advice 🙂
No, I would like to be don’t think he would be open to it as he doesn’t really buy in/commit to therapy on his own either.
Nah phones are valuable materials what’s funny to you might not be funny to the next man. She played a joke hahaha but it’s not so funny when everyone’s laughing at you and you’re dead serious about the situation
Did she actually Say you were “boring” or is your low self esteem extrapolating from a comment about the relationship being stable?
I’m definitely going to look into that. I want to be able to identify the signs of a man having this with their ex so I can avoid it from happening to me again.
Beat me to it.
Sounds like a lovely woman with a big heart…tell her how you feel about her or better yet pick up a Christmas card and let her know that way. Why end it?
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Bc she's only 19yo and just barely an adult and probably in college.
See as guys often we don't understand what emotional abuse can look like. This is it. Those actions are emotionally abusive.
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Or even younger. Shit I’m 21 and I think 18 year olds are babies. They’re still in high school for fucks sake. I’m so different from my 18 year old self and that only increases exponentially as you get older. Like holy shit. I feel so bad for OP and I hope she leaves him
Man I need to like light some incense and make a prayer I have yet to meet someone as unhinged as this.
Just because you never say random words doesn't mean you a basis for assuming that other people don't either. I say random shit all the time, most often just before going to sleep, and usually sub-audible. But sometimes it's loud enough to be easily heard. My wife thinks I'm talking in my sleep, and it's part of some dream, and since it's sometimes (but usually not) gruesome stuff with words like “kill everyone”, I never tell her that I'm still completely awake.
personally i feel like she’s overreacting but everyone can have their own deal breakers and if this is her’s you can’t really do anything about it.
None of the possibilities here are good 1) She doesn’t respect you and can’t even be bothered to remember your boundaries 2) She still desires this guy and is willing to risk her relationship with you to see him again 3) Both
You’re right to set your line in the sand (a line I agree with btw and lots of people have the same boundary) and if she wants to be a free spirit polyesque lover well then she can do so with someone else. Respect yourself because she doesn’t.
Idk about them dudes but I practice what I preach lol
I don't know. If you like playing games, play the game. If you don't, stop putting in effort. That would be my best guess.
Off topic, but as an Irish person I feel he will be let down to know that our castles are all either ruins or overpriced hotels now so good fucking luck to him haha
This is where I find it impossible to deal with. She will be hurt by this emotionally. There’s no way around it. But I’ve tried and tried.
She recently joined a netball team and I was so happy. After a year of trying. She went to 2 sessions then quit and sold all her netball gear. I felt I had to be honest and said I felt quite disappointed. She didn’t talk to me for 3 days as she was so upset
Hey see these comments for what they are. We are a bunch of struggling older people. Most of us are struggling to make stuff work so then they see this and it’s very hot to believe someone so young could actually be able to support these things. I would just see it as people reacting to their own situation and venting those things onto you.
People reach a certain age and wish they started considering these things sooner (retirement, a house) because once you start worrying about them you realize how high that hill is and how much shorter it would have been if you had started worrying about them sooner. Once you do start worrying about those things anything more financial burdens in your life will make it that much harder to do…so these are a bunch of people looking at that hill not sure how they themself will ever get to the top of it and then hear you saying these things and thinking you have no clue what is ahead of you and thinking they are giving you the advice they wish they had sooner, but instead it comes off as belittling and condescension.
nah shes just manipulative and trying to turn it around on you
Lmao dodged a bullet. Does that mean most of asian marriage tradition is a red flag?
Canada currently has several “exersize VERY high levels of caution” advisories out right now for countries like:
France United Kingdom (specific warnings about sexual assaults by Met police included…) Germany
Him giving Europe carte blanche and being weird about Mexico is well. Weird.
He sounds like an immature loser if he needs to get physical and cover someone's mouth to get his point through rather than stand up and act like an adult. You said it yourself, he sat in the corner like a loser, which he proved he is. Dump that loser coz you never know next time you'd get into an argument that he can't win what he'd do.
Ohan I have, utterly mortifying experience ?
I'm honestly surprised to hear people would even wanna go on a date the same day they get into town lol, I'm tired as hell when I travel. And I'm also suprised anyone would fly out for a two day trip at all barring work or a school event, that sounds awful, but maybe y'all are built differently.
That said she does sound like she might do it again, and your short responses combined with the fact you'd be leaving later that same day anyway might increase the chance. I'd still risk the meetup since you're already here but don't be surprised if she flakes again, or surprises you by bringing a friend along or something.
Also worth noting for potential future advice, at 18 I would not be going to a hotel for my first date with someone I'm only just meeting in person for the first time, even if we'd known each other online for a bit. Hell at 21 I wouldn't do that. Your plan honestly might have intimidated her, and probably would intimidate most girls.
Thanks. I really agree and appreciate what you're saying. I have a problem where I always seem to care more about other people's feelings than my own, especially her's when we were together, and I guess I never stopped.
Anyway I like what you said. I'll just try and be distant. Eventually she'll probably forget and everything will be back to normal.
Exactly. My ex husband has a micro. There’s a list we could roll down the street and around the block of reasons why he’s my ex husband, but that isn’t on it
i agree with your use of coerce. he didn't take her original no as an answer and gave her physical affection with the intent to change her mind about it. that IS coercion. especially when he pouted and left as soon as she reinforced her no.
Can't you just hang out with your friends while she goes and sees hers? I'm not sure why anyone has to choose. It's okay to see friends separately.
He cheated while you were away… Is my take on this situation. If this is how he treats you now, when you have no particular commitments, then I'd just walk away. It'll only get worse.
That is some very passive aggressive, codependent behavior on your part. You definitely should get some counseling because you deserve it.
You should never date someone that your kids dislike who also dislike your kids. They come first. Do you want your kids think it’s acceptable to treat their partner like this or to be treated like this?
Immature is holding a belief that everyone has to feel the same way you do, and if they don’t, they’re religious nuts or insecure.
You haven’t achieved some higher level of consciousness or nirvana, you just have your opinion, which you’re entitled to, just like everyone else is.
WOW. if this is the same couple… OP is a bonehead. Major props to you for your detective skills ?️♂️
That would be reasonable. I dont think you are in a reasonable situation,
Document stuff, get in touch with a lawyer, start proceedings
If you are worried about ur child welfare, contact social security
Stop overfunctioning. If he can't get to work because of a suspended license, the burden of that shouldn't fall on you! Since you online with him, you sort of have to continue maintenance of the chores, but he should find another way to get to and from his job. The punishment should fit the crime, not end up being the SO's problem!
Stop overfunctioning. If he can't get to work because of a suspended license, the burden of that shouldn't fall on you! Since you online with him, you sort of have to continue maintenance of the chores, but he should find another way to get to and from his job. The punishment should fit the crime, not end up being the SO's problem!
No, do not reach out! He had issues 8 years ago, and he's a different person now. Who he has become is no reflection on you and your worth as a human being! You are waaay over thinking this, and it's time to move on!
This is exactly it. It’s not very hot to schedule a phone call, but a “phone call” takes planning.
Were they ever on the same page? This should have been discussed BEFORE before they married. Not now. If they couldn't agree on some fundamental points like this, how will they spend a life together? It's pointless to talk about a wedge in her parents' relationship when there's ALREADY a wedge in their relationship. This isn't about parents. It's about them failing to get some basic shit sorted. The marriage already doesn't seem so important when someone has already bailed on simply living together.
If you read OPs responses she clearly states that he get her off about 80 to 90% of the time. She is only angry about the 10% when he gives up because it is taking too long.
For sure a first world issue. I didn’t realize I wasn’t allowed to ask for advice on the relationship advise channel if it was a first world problem…
are you 12?
No, just educated outside of the US where we know that STI’s can be spread by vaginal juices and under fingernails. The risk is low but not zero.
I have to agree. If you say something, you are likely going to make work really awkward if she’s not interested and you will be putting her in an uncomfortable position. Potentially even bringing HR into it if she’s REALLY uncomfortable.