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Anika, 19 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Anika
Date: October 9, 2022
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I agree with all the comments of your partners abusive behaviour. If you were looking at his situation from a place of compassion, which you are. Your ultimatum makes sense. You are attempting to salvage something, which I’m hoping at one point really brought you happiness.
If his job is sincerely the reason for his aggression then maybe his employment could provide some support? Does he have any work colleagues, friends or family that you could approach for support in initiating his need for therapy…
At the same time do you have any friends or family you could reach out too and make sure they hve your back during this time?
Every damn day. I never plan anything. Pick a direction and just drive to see where we end up. Sing along to the songs on the radio like no one is watching. Yes there are guys like that, I am one of them.
“Wow, Anna. This next semester is going to be ROUGH. My workload is through the roof so I need your help keeping friends in another room so I can study. Thanks for being awesome!”
You're not wrong, I'd be weirded out by that too. Like is he taking it for his collection lol?
Demand nothing.
Stop talking to him. Period.
I agree, it does sound very tricky. On one hand, it could have been consensual and he told the story like he did to redeem himself in a way.
On the other hand, it could have very well happened that he was taken advantage of.
BUT OP, you stated that he doesn't respect your boundaries and has violated them a couple of times. So it boils down to “do I want to be with someone who (clearly) does not respect my boundaries?”
Get a girl your own damn age. Stop sweating this deal.
Look, in my experience, most religious people will never be able to respect other peoples religions because they believe theirs is the only true one. Just like you believe god doesn’t exist. Stop trying to get her to respect your choice and when she gets all uppity and judgmental, just kinda let her know you two disagree and to move on before it ruins your relationship.
You need to get away from her. Seriously.
Idk man go ask the ones who actually made comments acting like the twins were sleeping together.
Not sure what mindset someone could have that they would even think they could demand a sex act that someone doesn't want to do. That's just weird to me, to literally demand or get angry over something sexual. And then of course, the fact that his friends easily sway him….
I walk away from these types of guys too (41F) but I always find it so difficult to cut someone off that I am so close with. I know when I have to do it, it's so difficult. My BFF on the other hand, she can do it and not get annihilated mentally by it for an extended period of time. Basically just want to acknowledge your strength and I admire it. So many women put up w horrible behavior and I did from my ex husband which taught me important lessons.
Jesus that's gross, shit. Thanks for the information, I'll see what I can do.
How is this not downvoted to hell?
Why are you accepting this as what you deserve?
Who treated you so poorly that you believe this is a good man? Of course he's using you for your car, I bet he is using you for other things too.
Honey, you deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are too young to let someone treat you so poorly.
Go find your joy, leave this loser behind. You should never have to call your partners mother in an attempt to get them to behave.
That usually means she went home with someone. Having thrown raves for decades, I'll give it a 75% chance you've been cheated on.
If you want to meet him, do so in a public place. Cafe, whatever, preferably not a place with drinking.
Be polite, but calm. Let him talk first. It's entirely possible he wants to properly and formally apologize. There are several parts to a sincere apology. If you don't feel he's sincere, you don't have to accept it.
If he wants to rehash the argument, you can choose to leave. You're right – you can't be his emotional punching bag. You can suggest he get a counsellor or therapist and let you know how he's doing in a couple of months.
If he does seem sincere, you can absolutely say you need to think about it for a while, but appreciate him reaching out.
I hope he gets some help for this heavy emotional issue he's going through. (but that's not your job)
So that tells you whose feelings he values. It matters how he feels and how his family feels, but not you. I’m not trying to be harsh with you, but we are all seeing what you are too deep into his BS to see. You have value. Your desires and preferences are valid. You shouldn’t have to be someone you are not in order to be treated well. You will never have a say in this relationship. It will only get worse.
Take the decision for yourself concerning the baby: if youa rae a single woman, can you support you and the baby? Can you get a support network to help around?
For the relationship, it looks like it's fucked up either way: So let him make his own decision and be ready to split eventually.
I don't see how your couple can survive if he blames you to have the baby or you blame him because of an abortion.
Did he ask if you’ve ever considered it or did he ask you to get one? Like what was the context? Had the topic come up on a show or something? Had you complained about your stomach?
It’s your body, it’s your choice, it’s your money. Around here, more and more people are doing “mommy makeovers” and I hear people talking about them a lot—like usually after their last child is born and weaned. Boobs, tummy, sometimes vag…
Hey man, it sounds to me she was just making a light-hearted joke. For real, you got pretty defensive about this.
I’m sure everyone else is gonna jump on you to say “oh you’re incompatible because of your hobbies” etc. but let’s not worry about that and focus on the situation. For now, she is your girlfriend.
If I were you I’d say “hey babe, sorry I got so defensive at your redneck joke. I just took it the wrong way.” and leave it at that. Now maybe you were getting defensive because you feel she’d prefer someone with different interests. I wouldn’t tell her you feel this way. Sounds like an easy way to lose her, when instead you’re actually gonna want to compromise.
It’s fine to have different interests, but if you’re putting all your money into your car and your motorcycle but also not planning on taking her out of the country within the next year, it’s not simple incompatibility — it’s actually an issue with you, that any lady would leave you for.
Also “animals” as a hobby should mean you have some cool pets like a dog and a lizard, not that you just like killing them. Yes hunting can help the ecosystem by suppressing deer populations or whatever but are you a wolf? Did you consider the answer isn’t less deer, but more wolves?
I mean this in the nicest way possible but you can’t threaten ultimatums if you don’t actually mean it. Either tell him you changed your mind and will be incredibly hurt if he decides to go, but don’t want to break up. Or stick to it and break up if he goes.
Have you thought about the fact that he may resent you if he doesn’t go? I honestly think a far better strategy for you would be to take back the ultimatum and just say your feelings are hurt that you’re not his priority. Then let him go…. And she will honestly do the rest for you. He will come back afterward and say ‘you were right, she made a pass at me, I’m so sorry!!’ Etc…. And this will likely give him the push he needs to go no contact with this girl.
Seriously. It’s only a matter of time before she turns the sons against her too. Then his poor daughter is dealing with an entire house full of bullies, and the only person defending her doesn’t actually do anything besides say “stop that.”
She wants u to do it all while u get no rites or reward. And expects u to pay for everything. Tell her hell no your both equals or nothing.
I stopped reading at she hits me sometimes. That’s abuse. End of story
I guess what really bothers me is that she immediately got ready to hang with friends, but didn't have that energy when it came to hanging out with me.