We don’t know why he is no longer happy and doesn’t feel a connection. And we can’t guess. But we do understand how nude it is to not have “closure”. Sorry OP.
As my general rule, I think it takes half the time you were with someone to truly get over them. I’d you were with them for 10 years, you’ll be truly past it in five, etc.
I don’t think they know their exact number, but they know by the 100s I guess lol. I mean I haven’t broken the 3 digit body count but if I were to come up with my number, there would definitely be some I forget.
Using a code in your contact list in your phone is also popular. Like a certain word for the persons middle name. I also use this for colleagues to remember where I know them from.
Not really, it's a very rural area, I think there is only one pet-friendly motel nearby. I also don't have a lot of money for that, especially for a week-long stay. It is an option worth considering, but still requires getting through the difficult conversation…
I know… this is my fear because I know he will know it was me. Considering I am likely one of few that knows this information… I just want to help her…
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My mom treated me like this.. we’re still working on it, but we got ‘couples’ therapy and our own therapists to help us understand how to work together.
I’ll tell you what my therapist told me one day. ‘You can’t control other people’s actions, you can change your reaction.’ Also, ‘ sometimes the only way a child/parent relationship can grow is for the child to move out.’
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He sounds exhausting, and the nonsense with someone else’s underwear in his house can only be a test for “will she stay even if every rational explanation points to me cheating” – unless it was just cheating and he thinks he can avoid any revisiting that argument by lumping it in with his nasty little mind games. Honestly – who needs this sort of nonsense in their life? You were busy thinking about life and about getting closer to him, and he was busy thinking about how to mess with you? Nah.
lol five years. get away from this old ass man. hanging out at a gas station and seeing how shitty he can treat you what a fun place to hang with someone who only likes to fuck teenagers.
Please understand that she betrayed you, she developed a crush, admitted it and you still believe that she didn't want to do what she did and instead she was coerced…? You reached the lawyer up stage and the “story” hit the fan anyway, what kept her to do this immediately after being hit off by her boss? In today's society, after the “me too” whirlpool, you risk being misunderstood and get demolished without being guilty, which sane person would insist in hitting off IF there's no reciprocating answer back? Can you LOGICALLY prove that I am wrong? For your sake, I wish I am, but even you know that I am not…!
You may just be mimicking/recreating your mother and father's relationship. Very common. You're taking your mom's role and putting him in your dad's. What was your dad like? Your mother's constant criticism is normal to you. It's not normal to him, and perhaps to many of your past partners. If that isn't what he expects from a relationship, and it sounds like not from your description of his family of origin, it's going to cause strain.
The possible trouble is that you may feel uncomfortable in any relationship where you can't criticize your partner. Your parent's dynamic is the baseline to you- you're supposed to nitpick, and he's supposed to get tired of it and leave, just like your parents. How many times has this approximately played out, as you've mentioned past partners complaining about it?
My advice would be to see a therapist. This dynamic could be deep deep deep in your psyche and will take a lot of effort to address- the kind of long term self work it pays to have an expert to share the load and benefit from the expertise of. Good luck.
My partner snores. We sleep together often as his snoring isn't bad some nights… but when we don't sleep in the same bed we still lay in bed together for 30 minutes or more cuddling, talking, relaxing. This often leads to sex. Just lay in bed nude together more often and you'll have more sex.
Nah fuck that. Your relationship has absolutely no foundation and there is no way to fully repair your trust. He lost his chance for redemption, this relationship in my opinion had no chance for a fresh start.
There is a lot you say that I agree with. Sure there are people who are just not equipped to have kids. (And I would be appalled to think that I wouldn't have had the mental stability or capacity to be a parent).With the growing number of people claiming to want a child free future, not because they are not capable, which is often claimed, but because they don't want to mess with the vision they see of their nice ordered and presumed more wealthy future. I want to be very clear. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. My particular concern is that too many of these childless couples have no idea of the damage they are doing with their future. Lonely and abandoned. I am not suggesting that having kids is in any way a guarantee for that to not happen, however it would be far less likely.
He is insecure. He had no formal education, you do. Street smarts are likely irrelevant in your day to day life.
Maybe he didn’t have the opportunity to go to college, or perhaps the need. Please do not take his opinion seriously. Professors have commented on your intelligence…they are much better able to assess your intellectual capability.
This post makes me wonder if there is an income disparity between you and how that plays in.
Yeah we’ve actually talked about marriage just in general and he wants to get married late which would line up our years right? he just moved around a lot for work and I’m pursuing an MD so it’s nude to say where we will both be living and he has past trauma with long distance. He has his life together in that he has a great job, but he recently told me he knows for sure he won’t be dating or trying to date for at least the next 6 months since he’s got a lot of other stuff going on. I’m kind of the same, in that I’m about to graduate and move so I’m not looking to start something new. He’s be the only exception because he’s one of my best friends, but he lives far now until I move to that same city weirdly enough
He’s very picky, which is a good thing, but he’s told me he feels like he only had one relationship left in him and would want to marry whoever he’s with next, and that’s why it’s such a big deal to him to make this decision. This both scares me, and makes me respect him a lot. It puts some pressure on me, because I’ve never dated anyone, but I feel ready for this and I want to be with him. Ugh I could run in circles forever and it gets so frustrating. I just want what’s best for us both and I want it to work out
There’s no getting through to someone who has antisocial personality disorder. There’s no convincing them to change. They’ll never be able to understand where you’re coming from, because they lack the capacity for empathy. It’s like asking an animal to understand written language – that’s just not the way their brains work.
The only way to deal with someone like this and retain your sanity is to have rock-solid boundaries. It sounds like you may need some of those with your parents, too, since they aren’t able or willing to acknowledge the damage your sister has done and will continue to do.
If you can do therapy, that would help. If not, try reading some books about antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders, and also about boundaries.
The honeymoon phase is real. You have a whole life up until the point you met to talk about. All of your dreams, experiences, beliefs, traumas, etc are there to be discussed. As you get to know each other better and better, you kinda run out of material to talk about. There is also an intense emotional component to a new relationship. There’s the excitement, uncertainty, novelty, and sexual exploration that occurs during the early stage of a relationship that is very intoxicating.
If you miss long and meaningful conversations with your partner, and you would like to have more off that, then I’d suggest you start engaging in activities with your partner that you both find intellectually stimulating. Do you have shared interests? Shared interests are key to a long and fulfilling relationship. Always be doing stuff that you both love, and you will always have something to talk about.
He clearly hasn't moved on from his prior relationship in a way that is far, far beyond simply wanting to keep his ex happy for his kids' sake. You clearly don't trust him and he's lied to you before.
This “relationship” is only three months old – cut your losses and cut him loose.
Sounds like you guys have a lot of stress around you at the moment. I am not surprised he is acting different.
You can have a supportive, honest talk with him about how you are feeling and what you are worried about while also supporting the things he is worrier about.
Couples therapy will help have the needed discussion without (hopefully) the insults and hurt feelings. It’ll also show that you’re serious about fixing things.
No i won’t. As someone from a developing country I’ve seen first hand how useless these ‘volunteers’ are. They bring nothing useful with them like clothes, un-perishable foods & shoes, they just come to take pictures and ease their consciousness and use poor children of color to make them feel good about themselves. Why doesn’t she think about what impact her actions have.
A doesn’t have any female friends and has never had any, while I have had male friends throughout my life.
you need to be good, honestly good with the lie that he did this for 2-3 months, that is a lie, with a 8 year old girl and not counting when he was humping and a bumping with little boys. if that is the life you want for you by all means have a that fine man you got because I don't want him in the dating pool. he needs help and you making excuses is not going to cut it. remember he liked little boys when he was older and little girls, he knew it was wrong and did it any way, because… parents..
I have to agree with something a few other commenters have said; it doesn't matter if it's in your head or not. I will, however, take an understanding of the fact that you'd like to seek actual advice and potentially work on your relationship instead of jumping the gun and just leaving him. Everyone on Reddit is quick to jump to that decision immediately, as if it's truly as easy as just saying the words and walking away. Frequently, it's really not that easy, especially when it comes to one's mental state and strength. Trust me, I know.
You should consider communicating this feeling with him. Probably not through a normal conversation, you mentioned he comes off as annoyed when you've talked about this general subject in the past so that wouldn't be conducive to a meaningful conversation. Partially because he may not actually be annoyed. Instead, it could be a trauma response from your previous experiences, incorrectly interpreting his state as annoyed so you'll be less inclined to say anything else about it. It's a defense mechanism of sorts, and common with PTSD and/or anxiety.
I would recommend writing a letter, it would give you the opportunity to take your time to get your words right. Maybe mention in the letter how your therapist thinks it's most likely an aspect of the PTSD, and it doesn't necessarily mean you actually believe he's actively cheating on you (even if you do. This is more to try and pad his ego a bit so he'll be more inclined to finish reading the letter). How he responds to the letter, if he reads it, will probably give you the answer you need about whether or not it's worthwhile to keep working on your relationship. Create a list of what you would personally find to be acceptable as potential responses, or more importantly, create a list of what isn't acceptable. Then, you just have to decide for yourself, and stick with your convictions.
My dad is exactly like this. I’m sorry to tell you that these people never ever change. The best you can do is tell him that his lectures are not appreciated and hope that every time you tell him he’ll stop. I (33M) honestly try as nude as humanly possible not to be the same way with my wife/kid, though I’m sure many years with him has made some rub off on me.
Look, this is a classic case of misaligned values.
You wanted some R&R.
She wanted some pleasantries.
I think there's compromise to he had here and in future situations.
If it were me, I'd take ten seconds to explain myself.
I'd be like, “Hey nice to see you. Look, not to be rude, but I've got a splitting headache and just need to lay down for a bit. I'd usually hang out with you guys, but it's been killing me all day, so sorry.”
That way, you at least acknowledged the situation in a polite and respectful way.
I am not sure what to tell you. Dancing in clubs with strangers often ends up somewhat like this. I believe your anger is correct, but then again I am not a club going type in the first place, so it's nude for me to judge.
With that said, if your views on boundaries are largely different, you should break up as it will only cause more problems down the line.
Make him either sleep in another room or kick him to the couch. Stop doing anything for him, let him know its over. This way he can do anything he wants until the lease is up. If he cries, just walk away or turn the TV up, throw in some headphones etc. He knows which buttons to push for you to forgive him and he will use them all.
Epiphany is a thing and he truly could have had one but only time and his actions as well as words will tell. Ball is in your court but he’s a worthy opponent. Your decision but be wary of his character.
Seconding the advice to reconsider au pair. Ours was a handful, provided sub par infant care, and then bailed with almost no notice. The agency was no help, and we ended up losing our agency fees because we switched to daycare.
Daycare has it's problems but it's much more reliable. A nanny would've been even better but we have limited funds.
she told me that anyone would if the chemistry was right
That's a big ol' nope from me. Cheating is a choice. You can be attracted to someone and not act on it. Your girlfriend would choose to act on it, and is trying to excuse her choice as a somehow universal one. No thanks on that kind of “commitment.”
It sounds like you are not actually going to be in the wedding party, and she didn't have the guts to tell you she changed her mind. If she was serious about you being a bridesmaid, she would have provided you the information by now.
You go to the wedding in a dress of your own choosing, you sit in a pew with the other guests, you politely congratulate her after the ceremony, and you keep her at emotional arms length from now on.
Maybe she is washing her clothes and bedding etc but not wearing any kind of deodorant?
There are many reason people might not want to (skin reactions, aluminium etc), or don't know how to use them correctly (right after you shower for example) but there are a number of natural or skin friendly ones out there. Maybe gently say that you got a new one that works “so well!” and be enthusiastic and gently say how using it right after you shower had been so! Good! And see if she wants to borrow the spare you bought.
Other than that it's a straight up 'hey girl, you smell a bit can you sort that out?'
I'm helping my family financially. I forgot to mention that I am also taking a part-time job to relieve my mother of some financial burdens.
The problem, according to him, was that he's tired of seeing me in this situation and do not want to associate himself in a life like this. I just hope he'd also understand where I was coming from. We've been together for two years.
We don’t know why he is no longer happy and doesn’t feel a connection. And we can’t guess. But we do understand how nude it is to not have “closure”. Sorry OP.
As my general rule, I think it takes half the time you were with someone to truly get over them. I’d you were with them for 10 years, you’ll be truly past it in five, etc.
Why do you assume “I want an epic romantic love story” equates to “I want the world's richest man?”
Elon, you have enough money, you can just buy more wives if you want to start your own nation of disciples.
YTA oh wait this isn’t that forum oops
He has included you fro what youve said.. its just not done HOW you want him to
Yes it does matter.
Intention here is the difference between talking about it and instantly dumping a dipshit.
I can relate to a lot of this you can reach out to me if you want just pm I was in similar shoes a few years ago
I think that will have to be his next action. He does not make a lot of money but I'm hoping he can find some way to get a lawyer involved in this.
I don’t think they know their exact number, but they know by the 100s I guess lol. I mean I haven’t broken the 3 digit body count but if I were to come up with my number, there would definitely be some I forget.
Using a code in your contact list in your phone is also popular. Like a certain word for the persons middle name. I also use this for colleagues to remember where I know them from.
Not really, it's a very rural area, I think there is only one pet-friendly motel nearby. I also don't have a lot of money for that, especially for a week-long stay. It is an option worth considering, but still requires getting through the difficult conversation…
I know… this is my fear because I know he will know it was me. Considering I am likely one of few that knows this information… I just want to help her…
Personnally, I think he crossed the line when he called the company for her
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My mom treated me like this.. we’re still working on it, but we got ‘couples’ therapy and our own therapists to help us understand how to work together.
I’ll tell you what my therapist told me one day. ‘You can’t control other people’s actions, you can change your reaction.’ Also, ‘ sometimes the only way a child/parent relationship can grow is for the child to move out.’
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Leave him.
Get therapy.
He sounds exhausting, and the nonsense with someone else’s underwear in his house can only be a test for “will she stay even if every rational explanation points to me cheating” – unless it was just cheating and he thinks he can avoid any revisiting that argument by lumping it in with his nasty little mind games. Honestly – who needs this sort of nonsense in their life? You were busy thinking about life and about getting closer to him, and he was busy thinking about how to mess with you? Nah.
lol five years. get away from this old ass man. hanging out at a gas station and seeing how shitty he can treat you what a fun place to hang with someone who only likes to fuck teenagers.
Please understand that she betrayed you, she developed a crush, admitted it and you still believe that she didn't want to do what she did and instead she was coerced…? You reached the lawyer up stage and the “story” hit the fan anyway, what kept her to do this immediately after being hit off by her boss? In today's society, after the “me too” whirlpool, you risk being misunderstood and get demolished without being guilty, which sane person would insist in hitting off IF there's no reciprocating answer back? Can you LOGICALLY prove that I am wrong? For your sake, I wish I am, but even you know that I am not…!
Thanks for the the angle.
I'll take thread out.
You may just be mimicking/recreating your mother and father's relationship. Very common. You're taking your mom's role and putting him in your dad's. What was your dad like? Your mother's constant criticism is normal to you. It's not normal to him, and perhaps to many of your past partners. If that isn't what he expects from a relationship, and it sounds like not from your description of his family of origin, it's going to cause strain.
The possible trouble is that you may feel uncomfortable in any relationship where you can't criticize your partner. Your parent's dynamic is the baseline to you- you're supposed to nitpick, and he's supposed to get tired of it and leave, just like your parents. How many times has this approximately played out, as you've mentioned past partners complaining about it?
My advice would be to see a therapist. This dynamic could be deep deep deep in your psyche and will take a lot of effort to address- the kind of long term self work it pays to have an expert to share the load and benefit from the expertise of. Good luck.
My partner snores. We sleep together often as his snoring isn't bad some nights… but when we don't sleep in the same bed we still lay in bed together for 30 minutes or more cuddling, talking, relaxing. This often leads to sex. Just lay in bed nude together more often and you'll have more sex.
Nah fuck that. Your relationship has absolutely no foundation and there is no way to fully repair your trust. He lost his chance for redemption, this relationship in my opinion had no chance for a fresh start.
There is a lot you say that I agree with. Sure there are people who are just not equipped to have kids. (And I would be appalled to think that I wouldn't have had the mental stability or capacity to be a parent).With the growing number of people claiming to want a child free future, not because they are not capable, which is often claimed, but because they don't want to mess with the vision they see of their nice ordered and presumed more wealthy future. I want to be very clear. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. My particular concern is that too many of these childless couples have no idea of the damage they are doing with their future. Lonely and abandoned. I am not suggesting that having kids is in any way a guarantee for that to not happen, however it would be far less likely.
when I ask why he hasn’t talked to me about these things he says “because I know you’ll shut it down”.
Tell him “you're not 'surprising' me, you're taking my choices away.
He is insecure. He had no formal education, you do. Street smarts are likely irrelevant in your day to day life.
Maybe he didn’t have the opportunity to go to college, or perhaps the need. Please do not take his opinion seriously. Professors have commented on your intelligence…they are much better able to assess your intellectual capability.
This post makes me wonder if there is an income disparity between you and how that plays in.
Very true, it’s not that nude get diagnosed and treated.
Yeah we’ve actually talked about marriage just in general and he wants to get married late which would line up our years right? he just moved around a lot for work and I’m pursuing an MD so it’s nude to say where we will both be living and he has past trauma with long distance. He has his life together in that he has a great job, but he recently told me he knows for sure he won’t be dating or trying to date for at least the next 6 months since he’s got a lot of other stuff going on. I’m kind of the same, in that I’m about to graduate and move so I’m not looking to start something new. He’s be the only exception because he’s one of my best friends, but he lives far now until I move to that same city weirdly enough
He’s very picky, which is a good thing, but he’s told me he feels like he only had one relationship left in him and would want to marry whoever he’s with next, and that’s why it’s such a big deal to him to make this decision. This both scares me, and makes me respect him a lot. It puts some pressure on me, because I’ve never dated anyone, but I feel ready for this and I want to be with him. Ugh I could run in circles forever and it gets so frustrating. I just want what’s best for us both and I want it to work out
There’s no getting through to someone who has antisocial personality disorder. There’s no convincing them to change. They’ll never be able to understand where you’re coming from, because they lack the capacity for empathy. It’s like asking an animal to understand written language – that’s just not the way their brains work.
The only way to deal with someone like this and retain your sanity is to have rock-solid boundaries. It sounds like you may need some of those with your parents, too, since they aren’t able or willing to acknowledge the damage your sister has done and will continue to do.
If you can do therapy, that would help. If not, try reading some books about antisocial and narcissistic personality disorders, and also about boundaries.
What are you doing?
Son is the outcome of mom and dad.
Sounds like you are getting a dose of irrational mom for yourself.
Run away.
The honeymoon phase is real. You have a whole life up until the point you met to talk about. All of your dreams, experiences, beliefs, traumas, etc are there to be discussed. As you get to know each other better and better, you kinda run out of material to talk about. There is also an intense emotional component to a new relationship. There’s the excitement, uncertainty, novelty, and sexual exploration that occurs during the early stage of a relationship that is very intoxicating.
If you miss long and meaningful conversations with your partner, and you would like to have more off that, then I’d suggest you start engaging in activities with your partner that you both find intellectually stimulating. Do you have shared interests? Shared interests are key to a long and fulfilling relationship. Always be doing stuff that you both love, and you will always have something to talk about.
Priorities change sometimes.
It doesn't really matter if he is married or not.
He clearly hasn't moved on from his prior relationship in a way that is far, far beyond simply wanting to keep his ex happy for his kids' sake. You clearly don't trust him and he's lied to you before.
This “relationship” is only three months old – cut your losses and cut him loose.
So, you already have your answer then.
Or like a typical user from this subreddit would say “he's so immature, just leave him pff”
Sounds like you guys have a lot of stress around you at the moment. I am not surprised he is acting different.
You can have a supportive, honest talk with him about how you are feeling and what you are worried about while also supporting the things he is worrier about.
Couples therapy will help have the needed discussion without (hopefully) the insults and hurt feelings. It’ll also show that you’re serious about fixing things.
You're being repeatedly belittled and assaulted. Get out of there
Tell him that if his dick was bigger, it’d fit nice and tight. DUMP HIM.
Lmao and you think a literal child being born is just another Tuesday?
Honest to goodness, which event would you rather someone be there for that you wanted there.
No i won’t. As someone from a developing country I’ve seen first hand how useless these ‘volunteers’ are. They bring nothing useful with them like clothes, un-perishable foods & shoes, they just come to take pictures and ease their consciousness and use poor children of color to make them feel good about themselves. Why doesn’t she think about what impact her actions have.
Bickering is fighting. It's a very stupid think to bicker over. It's very petty.
Why does it matter so much?
Tell her that she is. And move on.
A doesn’t have any female friends and has never had any, while I have had male friends throughout my life.
you need to be good, honestly good with the lie that he did this for 2-3 months, that is a lie, with a 8 year old girl and not counting when he was humping and a bumping with little boys. if that is the life you want for you by all means have a that fine man you got because I don't want him in the dating pool. he needs help and you making excuses is not going to cut it. remember he liked little boys when he was older and little girls, he knew it was wrong and did it any way, because… parents..
I have to agree with something a few other commenters have said; it doesn't matter if it's in your head or not. I will, however, take an understanding of the fact that you'd like to seek actual advice and potentially work on your relationship instead of jumping the gun and just leaving him. Everyone on Reddit is quick to jump to that decision immediately, as if it's truly as easy as just saying the words and walking away. Frequently, it's really not that easy, especially when it comes to one's mental state and strength. Trust me, I know.
You should consider communicating this feeling with him. Probably not through a normal conversation, you mentioned he comes off as annoyed when you've talked about this general subject in the past so that wouldn't be conducive to a meaningful conversation. Partially because he may not actually be annoyed. Instead, it could be a trauma response from your previous experiences, incorrectly interpreting his state as annoyed so you'll be less inclined to say anything else about it. It's a defense mechanism of sorts, and common with PTSD and/or anxiety.
I would recommend writing a letter, it would give you the opportunity to take your time to get your words right. Maybe mention in the letter how your therapist thinks it's most likely an aspect of the PTSD, and it doesn't necessarily mean you actually believe he's actively cheating on you (even if you do. This is more to try and pad his ego a bit so he'll be more inclined to finish reading the letter). How he responds to the letter, if he reads it, will probably give you the answer you need about whether or not it's worthwhile to keep working on your relationship. Create a list of what you would personally find to be acceptable as potential responses, or more importantly, create a list of what isn't acceptable. Then, you just have to decide for yourself, and stick with your convictions.
My dad is exactly like this. I’m sorry to tell you that these people never ever change. The best you can do is tell him that his lectures are not appreciated and hope that every time you tell him he’ll stop. I (33M) honestly try as nude as humanly possible not to be the same way with my wife/kid, though I’m sure many years with him has made some rub off on me.
You
Look, this is a classic case of misaligned values.
You wanted some R&R.
She wanted some pleasantries.
I think there's compromise to he had here and in future situations.
If it were me, I'd take ten seconds to explain myself.
I'd be like, “Hey nice to see you. Look, not to be rude, but I've got a splitting headache and just need to lay down for a bit. I'd usually hang out with you guys, but it's been killing me all day, so sorry.”
That way, you at least acknowledged the situation in a polite and respectful way.
This is really great. Good for y’all.
I am not sure what to tell you. Dancing in clubs with strangers often ends up somewhat like this. I believe your anger is correct, but then again I am not a club going type in the first place, so it's nude for me to judge.
With that said, if your views on boundaries are largely different, you should break up as it will only cause more problems down the line.
OP,
Make him either sleep in another room or kick him to the couch. Stop doing anything for him, let him know its over. This way he can do anything he wants until the lease is up. If he cries, just walk away or turn the TV up, throw in some headphones etc. He knows which buttons to push for you to forgive him and he will use them all.
Epiphany is a thing and he truly could have had one but only time and his actions as well as words will tell. Ball is in your court but he’s a worthy opponent. Your decision but be wary of his character.
Seconding the advice to reconsider au pair. Ours was a handful, provided sub par infant care, and then bailed with almost no notice. The agency was no help, and we ended up losing our agency fees because we switched to daycare.
Daycare has it's problems but it's much more reliable. A nanny would've been even better but we have limited funds.
I'm planning on posting an update tomorrow after the 48-hour minimum wait time. It's not the best news though ;/
she told me that anyone would if the chemistry was right
That's a big ol' nope from me. Cheating is a choice. You can be attracted to someone and not act on it. Your girlfriend would choose to act on it, and is trying to excuse her choice as a somehow universal one. No thanks on that kind of “commitment.”
It sounds like you are not actually going to be in the wedding party, and she didn't have the guts to tell you she changed her mind. If she was serious about you being a bridesmaid, she would have provided you the information by now.
You go to the wedding in a dress of your own choosing, you sit in a pew with the other guests, you politely congratulate her after the ceremony, and you keep her at emotional arms length from now on.
Yeah you’re right. I guess everyone always hopes that they’re the exception
Maybe she is washing her clothes and bedding etc but not wearing any kind of deodorant?
There are many reason people might not want to (skin reactions, aluminium etc), or don't know how to use them correctly (right after you shower for example) but there are a number of natural or skin friendly ones out there. Maybe gently say that you got a new one that works “so well!” and be enthusiastic and gently say how using it right after you shower had been so! Good! And see if she wants to borrow the spare you bought.
Other than that it's a straight up 'hey girl, you smell a bit can you sort that out?'
I'm helping my family financially. I forgot to mention that I am also taking a part-time job to relieve my mother of some financial burdens.
The problem, according to him, was that he's tired of seeing me in this situation and do not want to associate himself in a life like this. I just hope he'd also understand where I was coming from. We've been together for two years.