aikabett

2 thoughts on “aikabett”

1. Ok. Ok. Look. There's no good way to put this, so I'm gonna be blunt and rip the band-aid off here.

   You don't have a mom. You have an egg donor.

   A mom nurtures a child as best as she can. She encourages their dreams, celebrates their successes, and does her damnedest to raise them to be a functional adult. It's a tough job, and it isn't always sunshine and roses. Moms also punish their kids for misbehaving, argue with them, and (let's be frank) fuck up and make decisions that hurt their kids. But even when “her best” falls short, a mom will still try, and when she realizes that she made a mistake, she will make amends. She cares, dammit, and there's nothing worse than seeing a person you love hurt by your own actions.

   An egg donor, on the other hand, fucks a dude, gets pregnant, and carries the fetus to term. At this point, in the best case scenario, the egg donor will do the bare minimum of housing and feeding the kid, but otherwise check out entirely. Other egg donors will use the kid as a tool. The kid is their prop, the kid is their unpaid maid/babysitter, the kid is their emotional and/or physical punching bag. Above all, the kid is not their child. Treating the kid as their child requires selfless effort, and egg donors are too selfish to put in that effort.

   Based on your description, you're a prop to your “”””mother.”””” You exist to prove what a great Christian she is. You exist to give her bragging rights when you bring home a perfect report card. And going by the disgusting verbal abuse she spews at you, I'm guessing that you exist to be her emotional punching bag when she's in a bad mood.

   (Side note: she doesn't give a shit about your cousin either. She's buying the dress so she can look like the good charitable Christian, no more than that. Buying a quince dress for your own daughter isn't a brilliant gift of Christian charity, it's an expensive duty, and why would she waste her money on that? This is why your cousin gets the dress and you don't.)

   I know this is a lot for a teen to take in. I'm sorry to dump the weight of this on your small shoulders. But I'm telling you this because it is extremely important for you to understand this lesson ASAP:

   YOUR EGG DONOR DESERVES LESS THAN JACKSHIT FROM YOU.

   She doesn't deserve the weight of your expectations; she will fail them every time. She doesn't deserve the responsibility of your trust; she will betray you whenever it inconveniences her. And because she gives so few shits about you, she deserves nothing from your life. NOTHING. So don't waste your emotional energy on her.

   Of course, that's easier said than done. It's why I said “you need to understand this lesson ASAP.” Mentally disconnecting is going to take time and effort, so it's better to start that process sooner rather than later. You're stuck with this woman for another three years, so use that time to prep for your escape. As soon as you hit 18, get the hell out of Dodge and cut her off. Once you're out, see a therapist–they'll be a big help in fixing the damage she did by stealing your childhood. And hell, throw your own belated quinceanera, even if it has to be small scale. You will have more than earned your coming of age party by then.

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2. Sweets- please, please, take a step back and imagine a woman you love telling you that this was how their partner treated them. He is outright, objectively and violently abusing you.

   What you REALLY need to remember is that there is nobody more charming, generous and sweet than an abuser in a good mood. That is how they keep you around. That’s how they manipulate you into staying and feeling like their bad days are excusable. It is NOT excusable, and it will escalate at some point. It already has- it started with an armgrab, now you’re being thrown off your feet??

   You are a kind person with a good heart, which is a wonderful trait, but it means you give sociopaths like him more chances than they deserve. Please run as far and as fast as you can. Make yourself safe.

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