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Tommy Joyer, 18 y.o.
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Online Live Sex Chat rooms Tommy Joyer
Date: October 11, 2022
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yes controlling is telling him i won’t let him go, which i’m not, i’m saying he can definitely go.
saying i will break up if he does is just me having boundaries.
i just want it to work out that’s why
Idk maybe you two should make your own? Not really curing anything, just watching yourselves.
Because women are socialised to be 'sorry' no matter how wildly inappropriate a man is being.
I don't see how she left a door open at all. I think she said 'engaged' because it's more serious and unambiguous than 'I have a boyfriend', I think that's a good thing.
Those in a committed relationship should stay away from dating apps and snapchat, cause its not gonna end well and at least one person is bound to feel hurt
You say that the child is depressed and sad? The little guy probably doesn't even remember you. I would also be depressed if a stranger suddenly came to me after three years and told me that he finally decided to play the role of a father. What did you actually expect to happen? She may be the worst, but your actions are no better. That lawyer of yours probably bought a degree. I don't know how nobody told you in three years that what you are doing is wrong, or they told you and you didn't want to hear it?? The child is the most important thing, fuck the divorce proceedings.
It is completely okay to want to have sex before committing with someone for life… sexual compatibility is important. On the other hand it is also okay to wait until marriage for sex, especially for people who believe in it. It's their choice… but for that to work BOTH people need to be on the same side.
Also if your gf truly thinks that her reaction to sex is just because of Christian cult then she needs to get help for her trauma from professionals because in her case those negative feelings towards sex are unhealthy. On the other hand, if she truly is asexual = no sexual desires then she needs to figure that out too with the help of a therapist. All in all, getting some sort of help would be good for her and for your relationship as well. It can help you make a decision if you want to stay with her or leave and pursue someone else.
I am f, not a man, but from my perspective, I like kids, I am good with kids, but for a bunch of reasons I prefer not to have biological kids that I have to care for ? of the time and pass my shit onto. I have a step daughter I spend about 25% of my time with, and that’s perfect.
I think there are men who date single mothers in spite of their kids, but I think there are others who may see the kids as a positive factor. Maybe they have genes they don’t want to pass on. Maybe they only want kids 50% of the time. Maybe they only want semi-grown kids who aren’t jerks. It’s a totally reasonable question to ask before long term commitment, but I think there are a lot more true answers than most people would consider.
stop leading her on then
Did you see what happened with the other guy tho? I'm not trying to sound paranoid, I just don't want to deal with that crap again. Although you're probably right, good call. I appreciate it
Please take my words seriously.
You need to leave.
This is how sexual abuse in relationships start.
For both of your sakes you need to just move on and cut all contact. She’s willing to completely destroy her life to try and make amends, and regardless of whether she did wrong or not, that’s not right. You’ve been together since you were 18/19, relationships at that age rarely work out. You’re still becoming adults, working out who you are. It’s rare people will come through that time and still be the person they were at the start. Needing couples therapy at this stage really isn’t a good sign for the future, sometimes you have to accept that some relationships need to end even if neither of you want them to.
On a side note, I do actually feel sorry for your ex, she’s been brought up in a religious household that has clearly made her very anxious about how she is ‘supposed’ to behave. I find it pretty disgusting that a religion that’s supposedly built on morals and forgiveness is the reason her parents are now destroying her future.
OP-think about a few things-You go out of town, he cheats. Are you going to be around to babysit 24/7 so it doesn't happen again? Or, the next time have to you go out of town, are you going to be able to not worry that he is cheating again? Thing about cheaters and liars, after the first time, it just gets easier for them. Personally, I wouldn't burn any more daylight on him-He has proven he is not your guy. Good Luck OP.
PEOPLE FART!
Tell him to get over himself.
He is wealthy. You are not wealthy.
She's 18, and she didn't really do anything crazy. She went to a party, she had fun, she hooked up with a guy. She decided she didn't like it. This is a pretty normal experience. You try things out, figure out what works and what doesn't. This didn't. It's fine, you live and learn. She wanted to be honest with you. That's good, at least.
Sounds like he's breaking up with you in steps anyway, I expect once you're out he will pull the plug or just offer fwb until he meets someone else
When you leave both of you become single again, so what either of you do is up to each of you once this happens
I absolutely love being proven wrong, i'm always open to it, yet somehow people think the opposite. And i'm considered as condescending or something while i just want the truth, regardless of people's feelings. I have actually changed the way i speak too, i've started to add things like “so what i've read…” or “so as far as i know…” etc as a prefix to my sentence so people don't think i'm stating facts but rather subjective experience/information. I've noticed people take this kind of approach more easily because they feel like they're debating opinions or something. They feel like they have a chance to argue/disagree if i express myself as a personal opinion. Of course i know that it's a 100% fact but i express it like a possibility. I see you're doing the same. It's naked to navigate in these waters.
I believe dna tests should be mandatory at birth tbh lol like the only ones mad about it would be those who cheated and are scared the baby isn’t likely their partners.
Or… The dead wife is OPslong lost twin sister that was adopted. I think OP should do a DNA test
Well, it looks that way, especially if you met her before she was 18. Have you always dated women much younger before?
Are you saying that if she was innocent she would make the grandma and the kids wake up early enough to do their workout before OP leaves at 6AM? Then what, the kids don't need to get to school that early, they would have even more time to hang around together doing nothing. That would be suspicious if anything.
She’s a 30 year old woman, she doesn’t need her younger brother being concerned about her sexual health
People can behave in ugly ways if they believe their wife of however many years had an affair and their child is not theirs. What should be more important is that he is remorseful about his behavior and that your own Mother has forgiven him. I would've assumed she cheated too, and wouldn't believe it myself unless I saw the dna test being taken and the results envelope opened up right in front of my face. Why should you be wholly forgiven but not your own father? He is the one whose relationship was potentially ruined, and deserves a bit more empathy on the situation.
What exactly did he do that is so unforgivable to you?
Updated my answer. Just added that you already have your answer: She prioritize the other persons feelings over yours. So you are number 2 and he is number 1. In case number 1 doesn't work out, she still has you as number 2. I understand when people say you shouldn't put all your eggs into one basket and write/date with people in the early stage, but after so many dates and intimacy, this is a red flag for me.
You did well and reacted without drama and rational!
Schizophrenia and weed. What a combo.
Idiot
When these thoughts enter your head, go make yourself busy. Clean something, call someone, go for a run, listen to a podcast, visit a friend.
why were you even arguing with her ex? that’s the first issue. you need to tell her about it, SHE was violated, not you. what he’s done is illegal, he’s spreading revenge porn of her. it’s not your right to hide that from her.
You're allowed to feel bad but honestly I think being upset by that is ridiculous. It's not like a special nickname or something, it's a literal children's game that everyone plays. Has he ever cheated or given you reason to suspect him? If not, you need to get some self esteem. Your jealousy and insecurity is not his responsibility, especially when he's done nothing wrong. Either you trust him or you don't; if it's the latter, you shouldn't be married.
Through our bleeding, we are one!
You are very young and this entire post screams how insecure you are. You are going to keep inventing issues in this relationship to make yourself more anxious, insecure and bring down your already low self esteem. You should prioritize finding access to therapy to work through this so you can have realistic expectations of yourself and others.
The first thing you need to do is acknowledge your responsibility here. Using passive language like ‘my words shoot to kill’ have an implication that you’re not making a choice to say what you say. Unless you’re running around uncontrollably shooting off at the mouth to everyone when upset, you chose to let your emotions get the better if you with him.
Also the things you learn in therapy need to be constantly worked on – it’s not a surgery that fixes an issue and requires no further work from you. Obviously it’s been beneficial if things have improved – screaming abuse at someone instead of communicating like (I assume) you learned in therapy isn’t going to help
If all you've typed here is true:
Giving him permission to sleep around is not the same as “addressing the issue.” Your husband is incapable of being faithful, and you gave him the free pass. Now that you're happy, he says he wants to be. …
Until he meets more of your friends. Then he'll want to open the marriage again.
Have some respect for yourself and separate from him. Divorce. So you can have your fun at your own whim, not his.
He’s abusive. You leave. Yesterday. It will get worse. At this point, his sexuality is irrelevant. You leave then you see a therapist so that you never choose this again. It’s what we need after being abused.
Yeah I guess it is already weird lol I guess I was just kinda happy to have a new friend? If he’s flirting I don’t think I would even like him as a person, much less a friend.
We never texted about the coffee, but I’ll definitely try to get him to text about it or mention it when his partner is at the office. Maybe try to get proof in text that it’s more than just friendly? He’s apparently pretty social live (I’m not connected on any socials with him, but he mentions stuff in conversation) so maybe that’s why the bf wouldn’t suspect anything from the texting…? I just wish I had clearer proof.
Unfortunately, I cannot trust my boss to be discreet – it’s a small office and he’s loud and kind of judgmental and doesn’t hide his feelings well. If I told him I think Brent is flirting he would definitely act like something is up and treat him differently. He’s a mostly good guy but not the most professional…
I agree that nobody wants to hear their partner is scared of them, but nobody wants their experience minimized. Nobody wants their partner to make to make something majorly painful in their life about themselves. I think if you really want to be in a mixed-race relationship, you have to learn not to make comments about broad racial issues about yourself. Instead, just hear and understand him. He obviously wants to be with you and wants to he close to you. If he was truly afraid, he would break up with you.
Tell him in person asap. Say you don’t want to text about it (for evidence). If he dump you and tells people, say he’s lying. Done.
How do I tell him I'm pregnant?
You just do.
What do I do if he accuses me of cheating?
You give him the widest and brightest grind you have ever mustered, and tell him that you can get a DNA test and that once it comes back positive, he will do that thing you like, and wash the dishes for the next month.
That is the weirdest thing I've read in quite some time.
Just two things:
If he can pinpoint an aniversery to an exact date then something must have happened on that date that convinced him that you are dating. Maybe think about what happened last year and you'll get an idea why he thinks that you are together. If all your friends and family think you are dating too you are obviously to close in your behaviour. From what you wrote: You literally spend most of the day together. You are cuddling on your bed aso. That is way to close even for a best friend relationship and a sure way to have at least one part of that friendship develope romantic feelings.
You really need to have a talk with him. And keep us updated.
Ouch! Sorry broski, but she still hung up on that Ex. Might wanna rethink the relationship you in, cause you looking like plan B right now.
Assuming that he’s just a 21yo idiot, who doesn’t understand the concept of time (and not doing it maliciously), next time you pull up, tell him he has 10 minutes. After that, drive away, go about your day.
yess on words…my friends said guys arent expressive but he loved u a lot and u shouldnt have done this…u don't even care …
it basically comes down to what is more important. The possibility of a romantic life together and eventually a long term relationship or a long term career with the possibility of meeting someone else in the future.
Just reflect on this and think of what you truly want in life and for yourself in the future.
He does not need to justify his no. Your mental health issues are bleeding all over your relationship. Your mental health isn’t his responsibility. He asked for a night of peace and you kept being all about you. Call your Dr when your anxiety can’t be managed. Give him a break or expect to call him your ex.
Ouch, that happened quickly!
So, we sees you as a human fleshlight and doesn't actually see you as a partner.
Lmao girl you’re 31…you’re too old to be this naive.
I want you to reread that first paragraph a few times. It's completely contradictory. We get along fabulously… we get into big fights. He treats me with a lot of respect… he calls me names. He bailed on you because he didn't like your tone?
You didn't overreact. This guy sucks. Stay broken up and move on.
Well something is making her feel that way and I’ll guess it’s him. I’d have a frank conversation but if you can’t get to the bottom of it you may need to step back from this. Go read the just no mil subreddit for a glimpse of your future if you stay with him without getting this resolved.
God a child is not a pawn, is your relationship with your wife even stable? Saying that it can’t be her child when it “benefits her”? Who says something like that? You sound incredibly obtuse and emotionally stunted.
You’re selfish and broke agreed upon rules. This type of things will destroy a man and it seems like you started swinging because you wanted to not him (assuming based on your dominant comment)
Relationships done. You want a masculine man and he’s not it.
No one is blaming her. I took responsibility for everything
You helped me a lot and I'll keep you posted. Ciao
Bite the bullet and run!
It sounds like you are putting far too much pressure on yourself to get married. Enjoy being single – it's far better than being with the wrong person and getting married just for the sake of it.
This, right here. Your husband is a horrible dog owner. He has done NOTHING to train them. I have 3 dogs and can’t imagine them behaving like this as adults.