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Rennata, y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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I actually assumed she kept at it the way she worded it. She found out and kept seeing him until he blocked her and now she’s pissed and wants to tell the gf. I mean she should tell her, but the way she’s basically stalking the gf as per her story and how she called her “bitch” in a comment makes me think she’s gonna do that thing where she’s gonna do it in the most unkind way she possibly can.
Tbh I’ve had similar thoughts in my own relationship, but I always tell myself the following:
As long as you’re both happy in the situation that’s all that matters! My partner and I have been together for nearly 14 years and at present we probably only get very hot and heavy 1-2x a month due to mutual mental health reasons and just seeing our relationship dynamic change since the pandemic started.
While both of us have mentioned wanting to try and make time for more sex, neither of us feels pressured or guilt-tripped. We definitely do it a lot less often than we used to (long distance relationships will make you want to be all over each other any second you get because of limited opportunities… and then suddenly having unlimited access will also do things) but I wouldn’t say our relationship feels any less intimate or special because of it.
tl:dr Do what feels right for y’all. Nobody else is in your relationship so their opinion shouldn’t really matter.
Try therapy. There's some stuff here that needs to be worked out. I'm not usually on board with abandoning the marriage every single time there is a single problem, like the rest of reddit seems to be.
It doesn't look like he's cheating on you, and from what you said, you have a good life otherwise.
But that comment was out of line and incredibly insensitive, and I would have to wonder if he really cares about the kids? I'm a father, and I couldn't imagine leaving my kids or giving them up, even if the worst would happen to my wife.
Try therapy. See if you can't work it out and get passed it.
The son thing to. Why does he need a son? And telling you to get on board? That's messed up.
If therapy doesn't fix it and maybe make him come to terms that having that attitude and making those comments were truly wrong of him, then maybe look at a divorce.
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sounds a lot like self centeredness disguised as truly wanting to do what he wants and what is best for him right now.
this paragraph was dripping with just “I”.
like, JFC he broke up with you for his reasons because maybe right now for his mental health he needs to focus on him without you wanting to play the main character in everything.
If you truly love him then respect his choices and what he needs, and you also need to get in therapy and grow up, this isn't some romcom.
I never threw any tantrum to her about not getting intimate. Im keeping everything to myself. She has no idea that her showing little interest in being physical is causing me anything lol.
I have only asked her thrice for sex till date and she was busy on two occasions and was not in a right state during the third. However she usually had sex within first month of relationship with her exes so i feel odd not making any progress despite being in third month.
Bro,fucking get a better woman
As someone who also recently said it first and hasn't heard it back, don't panic.
What I have found is that they have used the word love more, have communicated just as much as before, if not more, and have wanted to spend more time with me yet.
It was definitely a surprise for him, he didn't get the chance to say it back either. But I know I love quickly. But I also know I said it cos I wanted to, not cos I need validation of my feelings.
People don't fall in love on the same timescales. People don't feel okay saying it in the same timescales. If you still enjoy being with her, just let it be that for now x
I think people are allowed to keep diaries and notes to work out what happens to them, relationships included. If my gf was looking through my diaries, and I've been with an abuser so I know what it's like to have constant intrusion into my thoughts, I would end the relationship immediately. Life is too short to have your thoughts policed by anyone. Human output is what matters to me.
I have a wonderful gf now and it would be a total betrayal to snoop in her diaries.
As someone had already mentioned, it is common for people in therapy to male notes and keep diaries. They aren't meant to be intruded upon.
Good luck with this OP.
? okay bud.
“>possible he has…”
Is as much of an assumption, but the other commenter was at least backed up by facts given by OP. Your assumption was proven wrong by OP. Get over it.
Sounds like he needs therapy to figure out why he's replaying former disagreements in his head so often.
If he remembered something he forgot to say previously and wants to bring it up, he should be able to do that without starting a new fight. When he brings things up, is he kind and loving and then things escalate? If so, maybe you need to try self reflection. If he's just upset right off the bat, then that's on him. He should be able to communicate his feelings without fighting.
9 comments but i only see 1. love reddit.
Why?
From personal experience with my brother: Adult children can be very screwed in the head and cut contact with their parents for absolutely non-sensical reasons.
I mean. It is assault. If a man did this to a woman and then “Just wait, it feels really good”, everyone would be up in arms. You did not consent to that happening. It made you very uncomfortable.
Did you finally get her to stop so you could put the condom on? Or did you just stop altogether because you were so uncomfortable with the situation?
Very hot. Which farm did you buy her from? I was into pigs for a long time but I'm doing ducks now. Gotta say.. once you go quack, you never go back.
As someone who has a bday near Xmas, I feel for you. I relate so much to this. No one ever throws me a party, I have to plan my own if I even try. But most times I don't knowing everyone will bail and it's just depressing. Sorry you went through this. I echo everyone's comment about showing your friend who showed up how much you value them!
And not all “sex workers” have actual sex.
Jesus.. just ignore her.
She is acting like she's 5.
You didn't do anything wrong.
and oh yeah i don't want u to do any prep work because i want to get shit all over my dick”
how vile of you to say. You shouldn't kink shame anyone
I actually agree! I’m COMPLETELY content with being single, as it gives me a chance to find myself, I just thought it would be nice to date around and see what I really like and what’s out there. But you actually might be right! Thank you for your advice 🙂
Stop being flirty with her and just fucking pull the trigger.
“Girl I really like you and want a relationship with you, I don’t meet you to commit now but just know what my intentions are. You are the only one who doesn’t think you are beautiful everyone else sees you for how amazing and gorgeous you are. We can move at your pace and I hope you see me the same way I see you”
You don’t have to say all that but that’s a good summary of just pulling the trigger. Goood luck and don’t miss out. Fortune favors the bold
I guess I'm just not sure where the line should be….
What he’s doing is 100% NOT about you, it’s about him. He is too selfish and immature to be a partner in a relationship. You deserve better than that – also, if he’s been chatting up other women in the past, that’s a problem already. I know you love him, but when you find someone who’s capable of loving you back, you’ll see how much better it feels! You deserve so much more, but you’ll never find it if you stick with this clown.
And frankly, as long as you allow him to behave this way with no consequences, he will continue to lie, manipulate, and cheat on you. The only way he’ll ever learn is if you leave – and it’s unfair, but you’ll never see that benefit. He isn’t meant for you.
This guy has a lot of growing up to do. I wish you the strength to walk out the door and not look back, even when he realizes what he lost.
I went back on what I'd said to him about waiting. I can't excuse my decision, because it was a split second decision and I was thinking of myself
Breaking a promise was what she did wrong in the first place, but yeah bf is acting unreasonable.
This seems like one of the easiest decisions you could make.
I wouldn’t take him back that fast. Words mean nothing, actions do. He treated you like property and he still is. The comment about not caring about what you wear as long as you are his indicates that he believes you belong to him. You’re better than that.
I wouldn’t stay with him you’re not responsible for his mental problems. The truth of the matter is he made a really stupid choice whether it was curiosity, too much to drink or whatever it was. He destroyed trust it’s not the same between the two of you right now. And honestly people that reconcile after cheating all say the same thing once it happens the innocence of the relationship is ruined. They really create a new relationship with their family and their love for each other.
Putting being petty or not aside, that person probably thinks he is in a monogamous relationship and she has proven that that means nothing to her. He deserves to know who he is being intimate with for emotional and health reasons.
If he reaches out for professional help for addiction, debt advice, and most importantly, his mental health am I a pushover if I then choose to stay in this relationship?
I don't know about the relationship but you would be a fool to stay in the same residence as him, where he has access to your wallet, your SSN, and any valuable belongings of yours. You'd also be a fool to not have some naked, clear expectations of him going forward.
He needs to on-line somewhere else.
He needs to seek immediate help and support and continue with that until you say otherwise. It isn't up to him to make the call that he doesn't need help or support anymore as long as you are still in a relationship with him.
He needs to immediately begin paying you back.
No drug or alcohol use at all. Not even a little bit.
He’s too young to be a provider like a man should be and if a man is serious and wants his woman he’d never ask her to pay anything and he’d do whatever he has to do take care of y’all’s family. Younger guys act effeminate. Sorry.