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Room for online sex video chat _Nissa
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Date: October 9, 2022
Yikes, i feel bad for your gf
It sounds like he’s listening to some extreme preachers. It’s very very hot for newly reverts to find preachers who correctly speak non basely.
The veil is completely cultural and not necessary- as well in this day and age with the danger the media can cause – the hijab is argumentatively not necessary either.
If you plan on staying in the marriage you both have to be willing to come up with solutions. You already know what the issues are. The question is what are either of you willing to do about it?
And it is not a good thing that you feel guilt over your needs not being met. It is a big deal in that it is pretty important for partners to be sexually compatible alongside everything else. In a relationship it's also an act of love. There's nothing dirty about wanting that more from your wife. Though the reality may be that she just cant and never will be able to give more. So again, what solutions are you willing to consider?
You should see a therapist, for some real answers, and at the very least to have your feelings on this validated. But the answer here is not one or both of you suffering.
One option may be that you get the opportunity to meet your needs elsewhere with her consent. This has to be something she is completely 100% okay with and not a begrudging go-ahead, because that will ruin your relationship. It is what I would do personally in her place, without question. I know of very healthy and strong couples like this where the drives are mismatched.
Threatened? Hell no. It’s so very hot.
Don't ask yourself if you are attracting cheaters. Ask yourself why you are attracted to cheaters.
I’d keep it friendly as I could and get my own shit together as far as the self esteem end of it goes and let him do the same. If you are/were best friends, that’ll never fade. The whole poly thing.. hey more power to ya if you can do it. Just seems to me that that might be a hidden culprit of his insecurities. It would have been mine at that age.
It is not up to you to control his actions or choices. If he wants to talk to his mother and siblings about your relationship that is up to him. You can ask him not to, he does not have to agree. “Babe, I would prefer if you did not talk to your family about our arguments when we're in the middle of them. Could you wait until we've reached some kind of resolution before talking to them about it?”
Also, don't get stuck paying his rent again. If he can't afford to pay rent then he can't afford to on-line with you.
F that! I’d lose a relationship before I did that. Hell I didn’t even put my fiancé on my house when I signed on the line and we were getting married a few months after. She’s way out of line.
Someone does need your consent to cum on you if you're having sex with them. That's just what happens during sex.
ENM can still be a problem. Humans will do what benefits them personally in the long run. Being non monogamous doesn't mean you can't be cheated on or used. Probably just makes it easier.
You don't.
You are in denial of what your parents did to your wife or how they have treated her in the past. We need full details of what has been happening.
Why leave details out on an anonymous forum? How are you going to get any valuable advice if you don't actually tell us the whole problem? If you know the details would expose your fault in the situation, you basically admit, to yourself at least, you are the root cause.
Change your expectations. I have worked as the manager/bartender at many restaurants and generally wouldn't even tolerate my BF coming in and hanging out. It's perfectly appropriate that you're being treated as another customer, because her treating you any other way would be unprofessional.
You have laid it out great for OP. If she’s thinking this is controlling they are simply not incompatible.
You know her best. Do what you think will make her feel safe, happy and accepted.
It sounds like you have a busy life, and I think it is wonderful that you are making time to work on yourself. In regards to your ex, consider communicating with them in a way that makes sense for both of you. Take some time to reflect and decide if this person would be good for your mental health moving forward or if they might cause more harm than good. Make sure whatever decision you make will serve your best interest in the end so that ultimately, all parties involved can remain healthy and whole no matter the outcome between you two.
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true
What do you do? You’ve done it. You notify others and you step back. What happens next isn’t up to you.
Not any of us are invincible or able to prevent the actions of others. You do not need to salvage your life by clinging onto his because without you he would die.
It’s emotional blackmail.
You owe him nothing. Sever ties after turning his threats over to people in authority and move on with your life.
You did not waste anything, do NOT blame yourself for this. The time you spend with him had value, and it’s come to and end. He never gave you any reason to mistrust him. You did what people do in committed relationships- trust and be vulnerable.
Just know that long term relationships are not a waste when they end – after the dust settles, you get something from each and every one. This dude hurt you bad but you will get through this and you will grow stronger. Don’t let him make you bitter. He’s done enough.
Wishing you peace and healing from this.
You did not waste anything, do NOT blame yourself for this. The time you spend with him had value, and it’s come to and end. He never gave you any reason to mistrust him. You did what people do in committed relationships- trust and be vulnerable.
Just know that long term relationships are not a waste when they end – after the dust settles, you get something from each and every one. This dude hurt you bad but you will get through this and you will grow stronger. Don’t let him make you bitter. He’s done enough.
Wishing you peace and healing from this.
What do YOU want? Do you want love and happiness with your man or do you want to be your parents' child?
It won't. He knows what he looks like and how he feels in his body. You saying it to him will only make him self conscious.
He’s gaslighting you obviously, abuse red flag.
That would have been just as if not more hurtful.
He’s a piece of shit is what he is.
Leave.
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I don't think you understand – I want to be locked in. I chose this. And yes, it was an issue to find a care service willing to lock me in, but after checking with their lawyer and me writing a note that yes, this is what I want, I am aware of the risks, all of that, they agreed to do it. And my father just does it because I ask him to.
Most family members I know are in long term lasting relationships. I’ve thought about asking them but sex is such a taboo topic in my family. Maybe I’ll work up the courage to get their advice on it someday
Thanks
Thanks for the answer. I should wait a few months then because it make sense to wait until that time.
Get on Bumble and find someone who isn't flaky. ?
I am so sorry for you Sis. I was in a similar situation with an ex. My self-esteem was shit and i tried so very hot to make them love and appreciate me but nothing i did was ever enough. My best friend had to basically yell at me to open my eyes to get up the courage to leave. Guess what, once i got rid of the asshole trampling on my self-esteem my mental health recovered and i no longer feel the need to change my body to please someone who does nothing but hurt me.
There is nothing wrong with your body. There is everything wrong with your BF.
Why anyone ever thinks this is a good idea I will never know? Some couples are swingers and it works for them but in reality, most people end up jealous. You need to get over it. Sorry, don’t mean to sound rude but you are going to lose a great girl over something you agreed too. You should have said STOP when she asked righj before the deed. I think you are mostly embarrassed because you were unable to perform, which I think would be common in many men that are inexperienced in this scenario. Talk it out, agree not to do it again, and give it time.
He should also remember that whatever lessons and hobbies he wanted to share with a son, he can still do with a daughter. I’ve always loved fishing, hiking, video games, and other “typically male” hobbies and a lot of my best memories as a kid are with my grandfather by the lake. Your husband is so preoccupied with what isn’t that he’s failing to see that he had just as much opportunity in front of him with a daughter as he would with a son.
How do I get my (25F) boyfriend (24M) to realize that not going into work because he woke up late is bad?
Dump him. Although even that might not make him realize. He'll keep losing jobs until he's unemployable. And guess who he'll expect to support him?
You're jumping through hoops to avoid being honest with him because you think it will hurt when he has made you aware that not being honest is hurting him. Your stance does not make any sense. You could 'maybe' hurt him or 'actually' hurt him and you're choosing 'actually'. That's messed up. Also, you don't give your brother any credit. You've already decided in your head how he will respond to you discussing this with him so you are making the decision for him instead of treating him respectfully and like a capable adult and letting him make his own decisions with the full information you could provide.
It's like you are seeing yourself as some kind of martyr or savior of his relationship when actually, you are the one who is actively causing him pain.
Ikr, outsiders period can't comment unless mod approved
If you feel violated then never drink with them again.
Everyone is responsible for their own contraception. If you miss a pill, use a condom. Then take a plan B anyway, before you find out the very hot way that plan A didn't work out so well.
Unless you sleep with her she won't bring in any diseases – at least not for you.
If she's bringing in drugs, good for you. Maybe you can get a good Deal as a Neighbor.
Violence – If she's into that, let her be.
In all seriousness, tho: If you're that concerned, Go confront her.
Thank you for your reply!
We have talked about it a lot. He says he has had some bad experiences with relationships in the past. He also says he is in love with me and views me as perfect and is afraid he will not be good enough for me. I do not know the full reason, and maybe even he does not know the full reason.
I sometimes just want to show up at his place to get the first time meeting out of the way but that feels mean haha.
Doesn't sound like it's been split fairly though. Sounds like she gets what she wants & he has to put up with it.
But that’s the inherent problem. She’s not being open and honest when you talk. Then there’s the doing the course on-line at your house and telling you to keep it down. You live! there, she doesn’t. So why is she being just plain rude in a house you pay for?
Sorry, if your still not agreeing about this stuff it won’t work.
I have a relationship very similar to yours and she is completely wrong. I’m not sexually repulsed though. You have nothing to be ashamed of. She knew she was asexual going into this relationship and should have know and expected to need a little patience on this sort of subject.
If you try to work this out then I think a serious but calm discussion it needed. If this isn’t something you guys can work out, then be glad it is only a 5 MONTH relationship and not 5 YEARS.
I’ll suggest showing up to his work, slapping that bitch as very hot as you can across the face, in front of her coworkers, then leave.
Would like to add to this that it is also detrimental to the victim to ask a narcissist to go to therapy, because it will give them more tools to continue the manipulation. It makes them more agile
I don’t know that “plan your whole birthday” is really an effective solution. He doesn’t care to change yet, why would that make him give a shit?
What does all of this have to do with the AP?
Why not get yourself sterilized instead of asking him to do it? It seems to me that's the issue here.
…are you on the bachlorette or something?
We both cheated because we both felt unwanted in our relationship together. We were not good at being affectionate or voicing appreciation nor understanding the other persons perspective. I was 19 and he was 25 when we met, it was instant sparks and things just ran away from us before we could plan what we wanted our future to look like. I feel we are now light years away from who we were back then.
No, what would be cool is if you post an update here for us after that happens 🙂
So my first initial though is that, she lets you bone her so you won’t go off and cheat on her.
You’re obviously wanting passion.
Are her emotional needs being met? Does she feel valued? Does she feel loved? Desired?
Or is she just feeling like a tired mom?
I know you’re wanting to feel loved and desired too. Totally.
Maybe ask her how’s she’s feeling. Maybe she’s just feeling lost about who she is and just feel like a mom instead of her own person, again.
I would definitely ask what emotional needs she has if you haven’t already.
Are you being kicked off the boat if you aren't in a relationship with him? If you are such good friends then can you not be friends without a sexual component to the relationship?
That's an awful idea. Betraying her trust to get something that would be completely unusable is just, at best, damaging. Law enforcement won't do anything anyways, but on the off chance it went to court, she'd have to testify.
I would’ve had the same reaction laugh first and then go “wait no, wtf?” Idk, maybe he thinks you really value your dad? It’s not a vday gift imo, and based on his age I would think he’d know what gifts to give on vday
Is this a deposition on your love life now? Hold your friends in contempt of court and escort them out of your business.
I'm sorry. I'm not sure what you meant. Did you post this comment in my post by mistake?
Abusive relationships: they always come back for more. Seek counseling, and find someone with whom you can have a loving relationship.
He kept it from you because he knew you would overreact AND that it would hurt you. You pushed for info and guess what? You got hurt and are overreacting. Everyone has a past. If you want to be upset about your partners past the relationship is never going to work- it’s unfair to both of you. If you need a virgin go find one. If you need this guy, LEAVE HIS PAST ALONE, and for god’s sakes STOP ASKING QUESTIONS YOU DONT WANT THE ANSWERS TO!!! This guy sounds normal and nice, you being a ‘late bloomer’ has nothing to do with it, it’s your own insecurities that are the problem. Instead of worry about his past you should be working on YOU!
You’re only 4 months in, at most, into a new relationship. You said you are going through the motions. This should be the exciting period where you are both really into each other. That’s clearly not the case. You certainly don’t sound enamored or even happy in this situation.
I dont know about anyone else but I would never ever date or be in a relationship with a girl who has a high body count. When I say this some people call me insecure or incel but this has nothing to with being insecure. The more you sleep around the more you find around and this comes at a price! İt's called trauma and people do this on purpose knowing the possible consequences of their actions will affect their future. I personally dont wanna deal with that kind of a girl because I respect myself. When you date someone you show the world your worth as well not only she represents herself, she also represents you and this goes both ways my friend. I would urge you to leave this relationship as soon as possible because she had her fun in her 20's and now she's looking for a stable partner who's gonna stick around and maybe provide for her needs and there is no shame in that but we are not living in an idealistic world. Find a mature and good girl who has no bad history and can nurture you spiritually this is like a walking red flag. Run away ASAP!
No legal advice will help you in having her give the two kids your surname.
Depends on the jurisdiction. In the US when he goes to court for visitation and custody split, he can petition to have the children’s surnames either changed to his or changed to include his.
You are her doormat. Maybe try bossing her around a bit.
Time, work, and honesty if it can. That’s a big if.
There are enormous personal issues there with both her and the relationship, if she is willing to do that to you.
Take some more time than today to figure out if you can get over it to a point you can make a plan of action here and get outside help for working through the issues that led to this.
I wouldn’t be able to but if you are, real work and communication is going to be required.
Mine was 30k yearly as of 2020. Lives with parents plus maybe another 20-25 in upkeep. 100k makes me cry. My total on graduation was 107.
Along with stopping doing everything, read and also have your husband read the 80/80 Marriage.
Why do you stay with someone who makes you feel bad?
You, my dear, do everything in your power to protect and strengthen your mental health. Whatever this life has in store for you will fall into place, and that will be what is right for you.
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Yeah, you should definitely “date” her.
Why are you choosing to stay in an unhappy situation?
“what's something you regret in life” is something that is asked here every five seconds – I didn't realise that was for romantic relationships only. And I didn't realise that you can't ask questions to get to know someone you're trying to have a friendship with.
However, I will state that he seems to blur the lines and your refering to these friendships as “intimate” is evidence of that. A friendship doesn't need to be intimate. You can have a friendship without discussing sex and appearances and all that jazz. Perhaps if he chose to discuss topics more suited for a platonic friendships, he wouldn't fall into the same trap of catching feelings.
“what's something you regret in life” is something that is asked here every five seconds – I didn't realise that was for romantic relationships only. And I didn't realise that you can't ask questions to get to know someone you're trying to have a friendship with.
However, I will state that he seems to blur the lines and your refering to these friendships as “intimate” is evidence of that. A friendship doesn't need to be intimate. You can have a friendship without discussing sex and appearances and all that jazz. Perhaps if he chose to discuss topics more suited for a platonic friendships, he wouldn't fall into the same trap of catching feelings.
I'll talk with her. I don't think she cheated, but she wants some chance in her on-line as there's a lot of professional pressure and this guy talks about all kinds of nice things to do.
Trying to convince someone with BPD of something, when they are having an episode is impossible. Also, don't treat the episode as real, it's not, it's their disorder.
Is she in therapy at all?
Did you not read the post? She’s made many comments (insults actually) for years as a long running pattern. Then you saw that he pointed out she also talks bad about her supposed friends, and think HE is the one in the wrong for …. pointing that out. Instead of HER for treating her friends like that. You seem to have some issues either with reading comprehension or with social skills.
They saw the beacon and responded.
He’s too old for you and has nothing in common with you except to breed. Most women become emotionally connected with sex while most men do not. Now that he has you locked in he doesn’t have to chase you anymore. It was arranged marriage you are there to serve your him and your families’s purpose. If you don’t want this life prevent getting pregnant and move forward with your exit plan. Have resources lined up before you break the news.
Regardless if why, you both acknowledge that she is not in a healthy place and thus shouldn't be in a relationship at all. The cheating makes tha5 totally obvious.
But sure, ignore common sense and all the red flags and try to make it work.