I stayed because I didn’t want to give up on us. I would of never known of the cheating incident if he hadn’t came to me and informed me because of the guilt it was causing him. Some days I’m great and have not a worry and others I almost make myself sick thinking he’s once again being shady per-say. We are good together and from one hardship i choose to not throw in the towel. I have reasonable fears that would he even tell me if it happened again because I of course reacted poorly when he told me, but it’s just something I take day by day and am still working through.
ok you seem to think that you can only betray your partner physically. YOU ARE ALREADY ACTING INAPPROPRIATELY . You have feelings for him, you lie about having those feelings, you have deep meaningful conversations with him and continue to put yourself in positions that put you closer to him. All of that is inappropriate .
If it wasn’t you’d have no problem telling Bob about it.
She doesn't want to be the other woman in that sense, she knows what boundaries should be in play, I'm the one flouting them if anyone is
OP, she's an adult, and she ACTIVELY decides to be the other woman, which is quite telling about her character as well.
She's told me she knows she'll always love me no matter who she's with or what my choice is.
Aren't you a bit too old for this Disney crap? You have zero clue if you'd actually have REAL feelings if you were both single and dating each other. You're engaging in an affair, which is overly exciting because it's forbidden. You have zero clue how you'd both feel like if you'd have to take on day-to-day life, you have zero clue how you'd feel after 5+ years of actual dating and living together.
As for coming clean, I definitely will, I just can't do it during the holidays. M
The longer you wait, the worse it gets. How do you think your wife will feel once she knows that you've kept this for X additional months? Time she would have had to figure out what she wants?
Sounds like you take care of yourself on top of all other responsibilities and she’s just trying to maintain some “Jones” influencer appearance to the world. She needs to get with reality. I know it hurt but sounds like you’re not the problem. Plus dad bods are nude.
Call and explain you understand how you made her uncomfortable. It is weird to me that she found it offensive or something because I would have been on the same page with you and I am a female who doesn’t like receiving D pics. ?♀️
Your girlfriend's sisters are obviously horrible people and employers, but the real problem is that your girlfriend still continues to put up with their behaviour in both her private life and at work.
Your girlfriend needs to find another job so that she is no longer financially dependent on her sisters anymore and so that she can hopefully get into a better headspace and figure out how to deal with them in her private life.
This is something you can encourage and support her in, but it's not a decision you can force her to make or make for her yourself. Of course you should report her sisters anywhere you can, but that alone won't help your girlfriend find a new job or teach her how to set boundaries with her sisters in her private life
Walk away entirely. She is going to have a lot to go through and the amount or resentment, pain and trauma she is likely to cause you is just not worth it IMO.
How should you react to a 35 year old man who acts like a lunatic and hits things? You should pack up and leave permanently. You are enabling his behavior by tolerating it. Make no mistake, eventually you will be a target. He needs counseling for his behavior. You need counseling to understand why you think any of this is OK.
All of your information has come from your father. Take your mother out for coffee or lunch, and just simply say that you know about your sibling. She may or may not know about her. If she does, maybe she will tell you her side of the story. She may even know that your father sees her. Three years of sneaking around is nude to hide. If she doesn’t know, well then, you just dropped a bomb on your father’s secret life. Either way, she deserves the truth.
Why would he hire a maid when his wife is a homemaker by her own words? Her job is to keep an apartment for 2 people clean. Being a “homemaker” with no kids doesn’t equate to a full time job.
He hurts you emotionally because he's bored at work? Uh huh. If I were you I would have stayed broken up with him when you did it the first time. Don't be manipulated by people who don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with,”such a sweet guy”. They don't know shit and should have stayed out of it. If you stay with him, he's going to keep taking out his boredom on you, and honestly with these games he's playing it's only a matter of time before he pulls the “someones died!” Prank. Or worse, if someone does die and you think he's pranking you because you can no longer trust him about anything serious anymore. You can't trust him. When the trust is gone what's the point in staying?
Would never expect a dinner date from someone who just worked for 24h non stop. If you showed up I'd think you're really invested into the relationship. And yet he's throwing a fit like a toddler.
1) “Long-distance relationship isn’t for you“ until it’s with the right guy, and suddenly it works. (And if it doesn’t work, you weren’t right for each other after all.)
2) You are already his best friend and want him to spread his wings and use his chance at betterment. Hold on to that thought. And since you are already aware that comparing your lives and envy/jealousy will be a problem for you, work on that consciously and use the opportunity to grow out of those feelings. In addition you could also think about ways to make your own life more interesting while he is away.
3) If indeed he has a romantic interest in you, he will appreciate knowing it’s not one-sided, and that will also make him more or less immune to the advances that other girls might make on him. If you misinterpreted the situation, his time away will give you time to detach yourself from him emotionally.
DAMN how STUPID are you? You caught her ASS cheating and then agree to babysit while she go on a date with another man.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? Are you that DAMN DESPERATE for a woman? The HO cheated from the start and you kept on taking care of her. MAN WHERE IS YOUR DAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF?
Your WEAKASS ACTIONS have told her without shadow of doubt that you are WEAK & FUCKING DESPERATE.
TIME TO HER ASS OUT. Unless you are willing to share her and if that case, the dudes she FUCKING around need share in paying her DAMN BILLS.
How can someone be your BF or GF if you haven't even kissed? ??
I stayed because I didn’t want to give up on us. I would of never known of the cheating incident if he hadn’t came to me and informed me because of the guilt it was causing him. Some days I’m great and have not a worry and others I almost make myself sick thinking he’s once again being shady per-say. We are good together and from one hardship i choose to not throw in the towel. I have reasonable fears that would he even tell me if it happened again because I of course reacted poorly when he told me, but it’s just something I take day by day and am still working through.
You’ll feel guilty? What about her? She had no problem cheating on you behind your back right?
ok you seem to think that you can only betray your partner physically. YOU ARE ALREADY ACTING INAPPROPRIATELY . You have feelings for him, you lie about having those feelings, you have deep meaningful conversations with him and continue to put yourself in positions that put you closer to him. All of that is inappropriate .
If it wasn’t you’d have no problem telling Bob about it.
She doesn't want to be the other woman in that sense, she knows what boundaries should be in play, I'm the one flouting them if anyone is
OP, she's an adult, and she ACTIVELY decides to be the other woman, which is quite telling about her character as well.
She's told me she knows she'll always love me no matter who she's with or what my choice is.
Aren't you a bit too old for this Disney crap? You have zero clue if you'd actually have REAL feelings if you were both single and dating each other. You're engaging in an affair, which is overly exciting because it's forbidden. You have zero clue how you'd both feel like if you'd have to take on day-to-day life, you have zero clue how you'd feel after 5+ years of actual dating and living together.
As for coming clean, I definitely will, I just can't do it during the holidays. M
The longer you wait, the worse it gets. How do you think your wife will feel once she knows that you've kept this for X additional months? Time she would have had to figure out what she wants?
Do you know why her libido is low?
What are your contributions to childcare and the home? Because doing less than your fair share is a libido killer.
y'know, I don't think I ever saw a single occasion on this sub where people who had relationships suggest swinging or 3some, had it work well
Sounds like you take care of yourself on top of all other responsibilities and she’s just trying to maintain some “Jones” influencer appearance to the world. She needs to get with reality. I know it hurt but sounds like you’re not the problem. Plus dad bods are nude.
Call and explain you understand how you made her uncomfortable. It is weird to me that she found it offensive or something because I would have been on the same page with you and I am a female who doesn’t like receiving D pics. ?♀️
Your girlfriend's sisters are obviously horrible people and employers, but the real problem is that your girlfriend still continues to put up with their behaviour in both her private life and at work.
Your girlfriend needs to find another job so that she is no longer financially dependent on her sisters anymore and so that she can hopefully get into a better headspace and figure out how to deal with them in her private life.
This is something you can encourage and support her in, but it's not a decision you can force her to make or make for her yourself. Of course you should report her sisters anywhere you can, but that alone won't help your girlfriend find a new job or teach her how to set boundaries with her sisters in her private life
Walk away entirely. She is going to have a lot to go through and the amount or resentment, pain and trauma she is likely to cause you is just not worth it IMO.
How should you react to a 35 year old man who acts like a lunatic and hits things? You should pack up and leave permanently. You are enabling his behavior by tolerating it. Make no mistake, eventually you will be a target. He needs counseling for his behavior. You need counseling to understand why you think any of this is OK.
All of your information has come from your father. Take your mother out for coffee or lunch, and just simply say that you know about your sibling. She may or may not know about her. If she does, maybe she will tell you her side of the story. She may even know that your father sees her. Three years of sneaking around is nude to hide. If she doesn’t know, well then, you just dropped a bomb on your father’s secret life. Either way, she deserves the truth.
Wait, the two of you were in a relationship when you were under 18?
This! I came here to write something similar. There is no safe, happy future for your children here.
Why would he hire a maid when his wife is a homemaker by her own words? Her job is to keep an apartment for 2 people clean. Being a “homemaker” with no kids doesn’t equate to a full time job.
If you don’t want to keep the kid, I would consider not discussing it with him until after the abortion.
Females of all species are theoretically wired to look for a mate that will give their offspring the best chance of surviving, right?
He hurts you emotionally because he's bored at work? Uh huh. If I were you I would have stayed broken up with him when you did it the first time. Don't be manipulated by people who don't know what it's like to be in a relationship with,”such a sweet guy”. They don't know shit and should have stayed out of it. If you stay with him, he's going to keep taking out his boredom on you, and honestly with these games he's playing it's only a matter of time before he pulls the “someones died!” Prank. Or worse, if someone does die and you think he's pranking you because you can no longer trust him about anything serious anymore. You can't trust him. When the trust is gone what's the point in staying?
Would never expect a dinner date from someone who just worked for 24h non stop. If you showed up I'd think you're really invested into the relationship. And yet he's throwing a fit like a toddler.
1) “Long-distance relationship isn’t for you“ until it’s with the right guy, and suddenly it works. (And if it doesn’t work, you weren’t right for each other after all.)
2) You are already his best friend and want him to spread his wings and use his chance at betterment. Hold on to that thought. And since you are already aware that comparing your lives and envy/jealousy will be a problem for you, work on that consciously and use the opportunity to grow out of those feelings. In addition you could also think about ways to make your own life more interesting while he is away.
3) If indeed he has a romantic interest in you, he will appreciate knowing it’s not one-sided, and that will also make him more or less immune to the advances that other girls might make on him. If you misinterpreted the situation, his time away will give you time to detach yourself from him emotionally.
DAMN how STUPID are you? You caught her ASS cheating and then agree to babysit while she go on a date with another man.
WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING? Are you that DAMN DESPERATE for a woman? The HO cheated from the start and you kept on taking care of her. MAN WHERE IS YOUR DAMN RESPECT FOR YOURSELF?
Your WEAKASS ACTIONS have told her without shadow of doubt that you are WEAK & FUCKING DESPERATE.
TIME TO HER ASS OUT. Unless you are willing to share her and if that case, the dudes she FUCKING around need share in paying her DAMN BILLS.