Check the last few posts in my comment history. It should help if you understood what a relationship is at the structural level. That's the baseline you need for your stress analysis.
Dude if “your” means “his” in your dictionary, then for sure, she's your girlfriend. Those are some real crappy reasons. She's textbook ABC – Asshole Bitch Cheater.
That's not at all true. It's not like I'm sitting her actively thinking “hey imma cheat on her”.
But when she shows 0 interest in any form of physical intimacy and a other women comments on my appearance or says something flirty I get an urge to go with it.
I don’t think he’d act on it, but I still do hate the comments. I subtly hinted at it one time to his mom “oh will I see you at the cabin tomorrow night too? Oh stepdad didn’t invite you?” And she cried about it for days and started complaining about him to the kids. (Went back to normal a week later)?
There's a reason she lied about her age and her name… especially her name! That's just crazy! What if she's wanted for murder or something? And the fact that she's 40 & can't seem to control her emotions when you tried to break up with her… idk it seems pretty creepy!
I feel sorry for her but she flirted with him and went to his room. Maybe she just wanted to do some more kissing and cuddling but it’s still cheating man.
I'd just appreciate the message and say that you are better mentally now and she will be welcomed when shewants to visit / decides to meet.
I'd leave it open and in her hands to set everything and take the initiative
Tbh, I think she's projecting. In fact, she needed the time and she was the one who needed to sort her mind. If you two are really friends, in your place, I'd give her – for now- the benefit of the doubt and see what she will do.
Yeah, exactly, I think that's a very normal way to feel. If your partner has the good fortune to have more than you in certain areas, then you should be happy for them rather than jealous. But I think once you're in a serious live-in relationship you would also expect a loving partner to want to share those things. E.g. paying bills in proportion to salary or doing chores in proportion to free time.
Professionalism/career choices might be a good start?
Pictures like that could prevent her from obtaining a professional position. Hiring managers are known to peruse social media posts prior to deciding to interview someone.
OP needs to see the shit people post about how my gf doesn't love me anymore because i forced her into a threesome ?
Which btw OP is what ur trying to do. How many times does she need to say no? You are gonna make this poor girl feel so insecure about herself because you sound like a broken fucking record and then oh woe is me by saying “i guess i need to get it off my bucket list”
Poor you..
Do her a favor and break up with her if you truly feel like it's something u need to do. Ur gonna subconsciously keep mentioning it, thinking about it, bringing it up casually and it's gonna ruin ur relationship with her. If u care about her give it a fucking break! If you don't care enough to quit this bullshit then break up and find someone on tinder that's looking for the same shit u are. Ur gonna either tank her self esteem or she's gonna feel obligated to doing this for u to keep u as her bf because ur unhappy and then she's gonna hate herself for allowing it which she will blame u for!
She doesn't wanna have sex with some chick for ur gratification and she doesn't need to! She's not a sextoy for ur amusement. She probably just wants to be in a relationship with YOU!! Not bringing other people into ur bedroom.
Jesus it seems people are crazy these days if they believe monogamy is a thing ? everybody and their mama out here trying to force a partner into some shit they aren't comfortable with.
That’s what I have come to the conclusion….when I try to explain this, he reads it as I’m telling him that he is doing all this to himself and I think that was one of the last things he said to me…he never will believe this
Nowhere does she say this is her only hobby. She sounds like someone who takes plenty of time for herself. Which is fine, but that's not someone who should be dating a single father.
I just want to let you know, I read this. I see several similarities. There’s quite a bit to unpack there. I’m 34(m).
Swap out gambling for alcohol for me. I was a really bad liar too. I had a really horrible friend that was there during my before 12 year relationship my ex hated. We were only married 2 and half of those. If I’m an alcoholic, I don’t know what to call him. I’ve cut ties with him since my divorce which just passed the one year mark. I have something valid to say.
I’m not going to give you the “honest, just leave him”There’s two sides to every story.
I absolutely screwed up my marriage. But it wasn’t just me. My ex drank too and would spew the most toxic vile shit at me. She hit me on several occasions while together. She was manipulative. Just keeping it short…it was both of us.
Taking what you said at face value and assuming you are a good person (you know yourself), life’s too short to live like that.
This isn't normal behaviour. Violent attacks on the furniture once a month is not normal, and it's somewhat alarming that you've become so used to it that it is your normal.
He needs help with anger management, at the very least, long before any sort of relationship counselling. If he's unable to realise he has an anger problem, you really want to think hot about not being there, because at some point there's a very real risk it's going to be you on the receiving end, not just the fixtures and fittings.
Why is she mad at you for using your days off? Do y'all live together, spilt the rent? Were these unpaid days off? Does this actually effect her in any way?
If the roles were reversed she would say you were cheating. It’s disrespectful and I would classify this as cheating.
Updateme!
Check the last few posts in my comment history. It should help if you understood what a relationship is at the structural level. That's the baseline you need for your stress analysis.
Dude if “your” means “his” in your dictionary, then for sure, she's your girlfriend. Those are some real crappy reasons. She's textbook ABC – Asshole Bitch Cheater.
Redditbrained
That's not at all true. It's not like I'm sitting her actively thinking “hey imma cheat on her”.
But when she shows 0 interest in any form of physical intimacy and a other women comments on my appearance or says something flirty I get an urge to go with it.
Thoughts and urges are different things.
no but he was physically affectionate on his own accord all day and he's kissed me in front of his family before so I was a bit confused
I don’t think he’d act on it, but I still do hate the comments. I subtly hinted at it one time to his mom “oh will I see you at the cabin tomorrow night too? Oh stepdad didn’t invite you?” And she cried about it for days and started complaining about him to the kids. (Went back to normal a week later)?
There's a reason she lied about her age and her name… especially her name! That's just crazy! What if she's wanted for murder or something? And the fact that she's 40 & can't seem to control her emotions when you tried to break up with her… idk it seems pretty creepy!
Then all you can do is let it lie, and see what happens.
I feel sorry for her but she flirted with him and went to his room. Maybe she just wanted to do some more kissing and cuddling but it’s still cheating man.
I am sorry this is happening, but her mind is made up.
You didn't mentioned if you had any kids, that is usually one of the hardest ordeals while separation.
While this is very hot, is not the end of the world, it would look like it for a while, but you will bounce back at some point.
Stay strong!!
I'd just appreciate the message and say that you are better mentally now and she will be welcomed when shewants to visit / decides to meet.
I'd leave it open and in her hands to set everything and take the initiative
Tbh, I think she's projecting. In fact, she needed the time and she was the one who needed to sort her mind. If you two are really friends, in your place, I'd give her – for now- the benefit of the doubt and see what she will do.
Yeah, exactly, I think that's a very normal way to feel. If your partner has the good fortune to have more than you in certain areas, then you should be happy for them rather than jealous. But I think once you're in a serious live-in relationship you would also expect a loving partner to want to share those things. E.g. paying bills in proportion to salary or doing chores in proportion to free time.
Professionalism/career choices might be a good start?
Pictures like that could prevent her from obtaining a professional position. Hiring managers are known to peruse social media posts prior to deciding to interview someone.
Girl stand up for yourself, obviously she doesn't want to be in a poly relationship with you either.
OP needs to see the shit people post about how my gf doesn't love me anymore because i forced her into a threesome ?
Which btw OP is what ur trying to do. How many times does she need to say no? You are gonna make this poor girl feel so insecure about herself because you sound like a broken fucking record and then oh woe is me by saying “i guess i need to get it off my bucket list”
Poor you..
Do her a favor and break up with her if you truly feel like it's something u need to do. Ur gonna subconsciously keep mentioning it, thinking about it, bringing it up casually and it's gonna ruin ur relationship with her. If u care about her give it a fucking break! If you don't care enough to quit this bullshit then break up and find someone on tinder that's looking for the same shit u are. Ur gonna either tank her self esteem or she's gonna feel obligated to doing this for u to keep u as her bf because ur unhappy and then she's gonna hate herself for allowing it which she will blame u for!
She doesn't wanna have sex with some chick for ur gratification and she doesn't need to! She's not a sextoy for ur amusement. She probably just wants to be in a relationship with YOU!! Not bringing other people into ur bedroom.
Jesus it seems people are crazy these days if they believe monogamy is a thing ? everybody and their mama out here trying to force a partner into some shit they aren't comfortable with.
Stop giving him head and see how he goes…..
That’s what I have come to the conclusion….when I try to explain this, he reads it as I’m telling him that he is doing all this to himself and I think that was one of the last things he said to me…he never will believe this
Nowhere does she say this is her only hobby. She sounds like someone who takes plenty of time for herself. Which is fine, but that's not someone who should be dating a single father.
Well she’s also not going to be allowed to “accuse” so he can continue being a garbage partner but she can’t say shit about it.
I just want to let you know, I read this. I see several similarities. There’s quite a bit to unpack there. I’m 34(m).
Swap out gambling for alcohol for me. I was a really bad liar too. I had a really horrible friend that was there during my before 12 year relationship my ex hated. We were only married 2 and half of those. If I’m an alcoholic, I don’t know what to call him. I’ve cut ties with him since my divorce which just passed the one year mark. I have something valid to say.
I’m not going to give you the “honest, just leave him”There’s two sides to every story.
I absolutely screwed up my marriage. But it wasn’t just me. My ex drank too and would spew the most toxic vile shit at me. She hit me on several occasions while together. She was manipulative. Just keeping it short…it was both of us.
Taking what you said at face value and assuming you are a good person (you know yourself), life’s too short to live like that.
Don’t.
This isn't normal behaviour. Violent attacks on the furniture once a month is not normal, and it's somewhat alarming that you've become so used to it that it is your normal.
He needs help with anger management, at the very least, long before any sort of relationship counselling. If he's unable to realise he has an anger problem, you really want to think hot about not being there, because at some point there's a very real risk it's going to be you on the receiving end, not just the fixtures and fittings.
Huh? Are you high?
Well you both were sleeping around at the beginning of the relationship
He's already had a second chance. It will hurt so much more the longer you stay. Get yourself tested and leave. It WILL be okay
Why is she mad at you for using your days off? Do y'all live together, spilt the rent? Were these unpaid days off? Does this actually effect her in any way?