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Date: October 3, 2022
I know how good it feels when she apologizes and tells you she loves you. It makes you question whether she is really as bad as all these comments say. Being “in” the situation skews your objectivity. Ask yourself, what if a friend came to you with this problem? She is 100%, without a doubt, abusing and manipulating you. Follow the advice in this thread, screenshot your convos, dump her, block her, and make sure to tell friends/family about the situation in case she tries to claim DV or similar. You'll feel worse after doing that, but don't trust that feeling. Stick it out. Eventually you'll become objective again and you'll see how necessary that choice was.
That’s smart!! I literally can’t keep up with how many people have fetish/ creative writing stories on this thread. It’s the least moderated & easiest sub to post on. I want to be a moderator soo badly lol.
I dont have a sweet tooth. I dont understand comparing sex to food, I’ve thought about savory pairings though like eggs and chili oil.
You didn't even finish reading the post, read the edit this guy made.
Just tell him your exes ? IS better then his
I’d be petty and say “Well my ex has a bigger Dick then u. Objectively of course…”
It's a big red flag. He's going to be insecure and paranoid. It will only get worse
Lmao you can't make him forgive you. You can apologize and give him space but you can't, and shouldn't, make him do anything.
I think you sound like a really disgusting person if you:
A) throw things like a medical condition in his face during an argument over something even you admit is small.
and
B) have the absolute fucking audacity to claim you think he's cheating after you just probably stomped what remaining self esteem he had about himself into the ground. And now he's probably just trying to get some space because the woman he thought loved him is actually a POS that uses his medical conditions against him in an argument.
The real question is whether or not this relationship adds anything positive to your life. She seems like she thrives on drama. Let her hate you.
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Lol this is good. Thank you for the laugh
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I think there’s some deflecting by OP’s husband. Maybe he’s cheated before and that’s why he’s so sure OP fucked around on him. I just don’t think a person’s actions in one relationship are necessarily indicative of how they behave in all relationships. (Honestly, we don’t even know the circumstances of her cheating. I know women who were SA’ed when they were drugged. Their partners didn’t believe them and accused them of cheating and lying about it. I’m not saying that’s what happened here, but I like to keep an open mind.)
But JFC, even if she did cheat, and she hasn’t done it since then, what fucking business is it of anyone else’s? People grow and change. Is no one allowed to have personal growth without confessing to what they used to do?
I wasn't trying to excuse her behaviour but provide a possibly explanation OP could explore, as his post indicated he's not quite ready to leave the relationship and wanted to make one last attempt at getting her to be honest.
You are making this girl crazy…stop doing it or she will leave you…focus on the now…who cares if she spoke to him 4 days after or 4 days before. She's with you now and not him. Let it go.
There's a fine line between tolerance and encouragement. It's one thing to recognize that open relationships work for some people and to be tolerant of other people's decisions that don't effect you. It's another to actively encourage a lifestyle that is likely going to be detrimental for most people. Most people are not going to be happy dating someone who is having sex with other people. If it doesn't bother you then great, but don't try and convince other people they should try it out themselves.
I've got to admit that the single part of it wasn't a big deal for him, but it kind of is for me. He wants to quit his job, maybe mice out to another city. But yes, i can't just wait for him for so long, also if he ever comes back i fell I'll recent him for leaving
Cut your loses she sounds exhausting and irrational. Id just leave
I’m sorry to say but a girl who’s 20 will never be ready to live! with a guy. I don’t know and can’t comment on male’s perspective but I was 20 living with a bf once and it was a nightmare. Just try to understand that relationships now are not what they used to. Moving in quickly together is the road to breaking up. You clearly haven’t discussed boundaries, schedules, ambitions or any future plans.
Dude, what? You really want to be with 32 year old man that talks about women like a 19 year old frat boy? Yuck.
So did the gf force him to have unprotected sex? Did she pinprick the condom?
Let her be mad. She’ll probably be over it by the time you get back from your trip.
If not, a therapist can help her unpack her feelings.
Enjoy the trip!
That is what most abusers say.
He is strong, loving, and a great partner in spite of his trauma, not because of it. You are not seeing him as a multi dimensional person.
His agreement with her is just that HIS and it has nothing to do with you. This was decided before you came into the picture and is absolutely none of your business. Stop acting selfish and involving yourself in things that have nothing to do with you.
You decided to be with a man who was married before and has an ex. Before you marry him, you need to get it through your head that he did what he thought was best for his child and ex and it happened before you.
It won’t change. You’re just the current maid. There were maids before you, there will be maids after you. He’s okay with that. Don’t cry. It will just annoy him.
Lol exactly thank you
I don't date guys who do the porn, OF, etc thing. It's creepy and gotten super creepy with social media. Also tons of dudes with ED from it or looking at young women really gross and I do not find it sexually attractive.
Wait so this isn’t your relationship. Then mind your own damn business.
Have you guys talked about marriage? Kids? Shared finances? Where you plan on living?
He needs therapy and management counseling. If he refuses you need to leave. He’s going to eventually hurt you or someone else. Get your important papers and go. His behavior is alarming and he’s only getting worse.
That’s actually a really good point I’ve been thinking of that, that that discussion should mean a lot.
What the hell is really happening here. Are people really behaving this way outside in the real world? Your husband crossed MAJOR lines. The looking at other women part is weird even it was porn but the fingering you in your sleep? Wtf? I wouldn't even be worried about him not getting very hot, you got bigger problems than that.
Move out and do not tell him where. Once you’ve moved, get a new phone number and don’t give it to him.
The emotional conflict you’re feeling is normal bc you’re a person with a conscience and moving out without telling your partner would be a dick move under normal circumstances. These are not normal circumstances. You owe him nothing. You owe yourself safety from his abuse.
I completely agree. People make friends in all types of circumstances, why does it matter if she is a nurse and has no other reason to ever run into him? How is it better to have had something in common with a person 20 years ago so they’re “safe” to be around but suddenly if you meet someone with your current interests, that’s not okay? We continue to grow throughout our lives, so why do we need to be restricted from making new friends? If a man told me “why am I not enough for you?” because I was trying to make new friends, I would be very concerned about controlling and isolating behavior.
In this particular instance, OP’s husband looking at revealing photos of her live! is overstepping a line, no question about that. But everything he said on the phone doesn’t seem like it came out of nowhere. It’s something he’s been feeling for a while.
How long have you been living together?