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Alexis…, 99 y.o.
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Date: November 29, 2022
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Came here to say this. There many countries where this is considered routine and normal, and it really should be. In the US once you've been legally established as the father it is very costly to remove the legal obligation of fatherhood, if the man wants to.
As long as the husband made it clear this was a pre-requisite of his PRIOR to them having kids (it really needs to be discussed up-front) then this isn't an issue, and this sub continues to be schziophrenic on this issue.
Lots of holes in your story man. As a single father, I generally try to provide a view that isn’t anti-male, but in this case it really sounds more like you looking for justification not a solution. Him being violent isn’t acceptable but violence doesn’t come from no where. If you genuinely want a solution, gather a list if the questions in the comments and edit your post with the answers.