0 views
BJ@2 / gdeepthroat @3 / Spit tits @4/ sloppy dildo @5 [198 tokens remaining]
Date: October 13, 2022
The ad code is not a valid HTML code.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
Fix the ad code in the Theme options.
Block him.
Look, I'm going to be really honest as someone who knows someone – quite intimately – where the parent said exactly what you said (albeit for different reasons). Before I start, I'm going to put TW for child and animal abuse. I am talking about my partner's parents/my in-laws, and I'm going to say one very horrific thing (in spoiler form) as an abuse thing my in-laws did to my husband and his sister because this ONE thing alone will set the tone for the rest of what I'm about to write. Okay, so when my partner and his sister were kids, as one of their forms of “punishment” when they “misbehaved”, their mum would snap the necks of their pets in front of them. Yeah, so now that's been said, please be warned that nothing is going to get better in this comment.
I'll set the scene for my SIL (the story varies in my husband's disownment and while horrific in different ways, not relevant to this story): It's Christmas 2020, pandemic in full-swing. My SIL lived in the most affected state in Australia by the pandemic, and has lived there for several years. She left home shortly after she turned 18 and moved interstate and never returned except to visit family over the holidays. It's been a decade, if not more, at this point, in 2020, since my SIL has lived in her “home state”.
The reason for this is because a few days after my SIL turned 18, her parents tried to have her taken to a conversion camp for being bi and smoking. The only reason they weren't successful (they turned up) was because she'd just turned 18. They were also horrifically abusive, and she was not the “golden child” (my husband was). All of her choices would be shamed and compared to my husband's, so she didn't really like returning a lot, but in 2019, after several years of being harassed, stalked and abused, my husband went NC after being LC with them for several years. In the beginning, because their parents are lying narcissists, my SIL believed them over her own brother because she could not believe that her parents could be THAT awful. However, by 2020, she realised their lies weren't adding up and had started actively questioning their version of the story. As a result, this meant she'd both been spending more time with her parents (for the first time in her life, she felt “loved”, and that breaks my heart), and trying to move away from them, realising that the problem was them. This was especially apparent because they'd started falling into the alt-right heavily (massive problems of that here in Aus, too).
But they beg her to come for Christmas. Because like you, they love their daughter. So she goes. Her parents are cruel, like always, reminding her of her faults and flaws, and telling her things like she's fat (unnecessary, untrue, and cruel) and she won't be happy til she's married and has kids and is running out of time, cause she's almost 29. She ignores most of this, trying to keep a relationship with her parents, who, like you, have paid no attention to their daughter. They have not truly cared for their daughter's needs, or their son's, like you. You could have waited a year or so for an eighteen-year-old, but no, I guess time is really running out when you're 18? Or is time running out for you, as a forty-three year-old man? But the champagne is popped and homophobic jokes are made and then it's time to call for the genocide of Aboriginal people. Except, I'm sure you can guess that no one said “Aboriginal people” and that very racist language was used.
And my sister asked them to stop. She politely said, “Please, it's Christmas. Can you please not use that word today?” Not even ever, she knew that was a ridiculous question; they'd told her they'd disown her if she came home with a “Black/Blak boyfriend”. But no, just like with you, her mum takes massive offence to this. (So does her dad, who condones all of this behaviour and justifies it, but it's the mum that says the majority of what's about to happen.) And just like you, the mum does not give a damn about her daughter's feelings, because if she did, she would have said, “What a reasonable request.” Because you could have done the same. You could have gone to family counselling if this 18 year old was really “the one” to sort this out. You didn't. You behaved like a child, and like an abusive, entitled parent.
Her mum starts screaming at her. She screams, not for the first time, that she's never wanted her. That she wished she'd aborted her. That she's the worst thing that's happened to her. That she hates her. That she never wants to see her again. And, just like they did with their son before, they kick her out.
They disown her. Christmas night. 2020. Peak pandemic period. In a state that she hasn't lived in for a decade. She's received absolutely no apology (though they do deposit money occasionally in her account and flick her a text saying “Are you gonna speak to us? You're being ridiculous” or concocting an “affair” or any number of the absolutely fucking insane batshit bananas stunts they've pulled to get her (or my partner) to speak to them).
You know how you fix this? You can't. Seriously. Even if you go to therapy, even if you divorce your wife, even if you make it all about your daughter for the rest of your life, you have forever ruined and destroyed your relationship with your daughter. You know how I know? Because I see and hear what my husband and his sister say regularly. That even if their parents did apologise, and make active steps to fix their relationship, it will never be what it was.
How could it? These people disowned them. They told them “I wished you were never born.” They told them “I wish I aborted you”. They were told their parents love was conditional. And I could imagine both my SIL and husband just wanting an apology. I know that's all my husband wanted for years (my SIL has more realistic expectations, probably because she was never the “golden child” so she's always seen who they were more clearly). I could imagine them forgiving and reuniting. And if you're serious, I very much recommend therapy. You're going to have to be VERY active in EARNING forgiveness you don't deserve. But you're going to have to accept that you didn't just make a mistake.
You told your daughter you hated her, wished she wasn't born, and that she was the worst thing to happen to you. You then chose an 18 year old teenager over her, with no thought to anyone or anything but you. Why should your daughter forgive you? What have you done – ever – to suggest you actually love her more than some teenager you very much met when she was a MINOR?
If you don't have a good answer to that question, then you don't actually want your daughter to forgive you because you love and care for her. You want your daughter to forgive you because you think she should get over what you've done to her, and that's not the same thing. And if you can't answer that question, you haven't been to therapy, and it means you've put absolutely no thought into actually repairing your relationship with your daughter.