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Alice, 18 y.o.
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Date: November 3, 2022
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“If I block her main accounts I know she will just make new accounts”.
So at this point she isn't even blocked yet? I mean trainwreck relationship aside, first step to stopping someone harassing you could be to block them on everything and keep blocking them. It takes like 3 seconds.
Let it go. You got a piece. The end. No need to get all flowery and shit. Geez.
that last line of ur comment really got me. i don’t want to wait it out for the relationship to become an unbearable burden before ending things. in past relationships where i’ve been unhappy i’ve waited until cheating, being broken up with, or moving away to end the relationship because i couldn’t handle doing it myself. that is my big mistake
Emphasis on HAPPY – I will bet my left nut 99% of happy marriages are loving marriages.
Ez. The father tells her not to say anything to you about it. If she needs to.address it , she comes to him. She is still in a position to respect you. My aunt and uncle were very happy 17 yrs apart . Have a great relationship.
She very specifically stopped Makin it about sex only
The husband is a huge arse hole for pushing swinging on her despite her not liking it.
But she did start to enter cheater territory by making an emotional connection and only fucking that one specific guy every time.
What makes you think you weren't the side chick this whole time?
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He Wants space when tour there.. but is ok when your not.. So when do you have time together? What do you do together?
Is it only sleep time?
We need more information on quality of time.. Is he tired of relationship? Are you just a roommate level.
I do not here love fun things you do together.. I do hear excuses. Both inverts but when he is off he wants me to leave.
Advise. Talk ask him where he is in relationship where he sees you in three months…. a year..
By his answers or lack you might want to look for another place to live!.
I just do not hear happiness or a future..
Actual gaslighting is most definitely on par with rape.
A lot of people don't seem to understand that emotional abuse can be far more damaging, and the damage can be much longer lasting than physical abuse.
maybe i’m crazy or maybe it’s an age thing but i would completely get icked too ? why is a man announcing the status of a first date to everyone on snapchat. like does he do that w every first date
I wouldn’t like that at all, but if that works for you then great! I just feel like once you cross that line with someone there’s always the possibility you will cross it again sometime in the future
I’m 19 and a 16 year old wouldn’t look appealing in any way ?
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In what way was she was comparing you to the character? The personality? the hairstyle? What?
You need out of there. ASAP.
Not really that much support around for abused men, so plan your exit, and good luck with the rest of your life.
Bullshit. It’s called work life balance and it’s a challenge for every married professional. It’s eminently possible.
yeah- she’s not over him. i saw my ex got married that i was on and off with for 4 years and could’ve cared less. if you’re in a relationship with someone else that you actually love and want to be with, you don’t care about any past relationships at all.
Thank you for the response! That sounds super scary. I'm glad you're safe now.
My BF has the same gym membership as me – should I still be worried that he changed his classes to the ones that I attend? It seems somewhat casual because he does online in the area
Your wife is pressuring herself and projecting to others. Your mom's reaction was normal. Everyone who comes and see play structure for 3yo and she's not pregnant will have same reaction as your mom and call your wife crazy!
I don't know how you can even see the screen over all the baggage you're carrying everywhere.
We haven't been together for a long time. It's been a year, and he didn't put in any effort for seven months. His behavior recently changed five months ago
Frankly why aren't HIS friends talking to HIM about this? It's one thing to reinforce what they told him, it's another to have their talks with your hubby
He's right here. Men and women can be friends.
Why do you think he can't be friends with women? Has he cheated? Does he lie? Do you think all women are only friends with men to sleep with them?
You have to get over your insecurities. Stop being so controlling. If you actually trust him, then trust him. Let him have friends.
I agree with your analysis of it all, but I think you read a little into a … flippant? comment. It’s still victim blaming 100%, but it’s a great example of things we teach our girls/women to do that men NEVER think of: – never accept a drink you didn’t see made at a bar or club. – never share a drink. – if you’re at a frat party, drink the keg not the bottle. So to a person who grew up with those rules, OP was “careless” about rules he’s probably never even considered
Well, there’s a reason he has changed his mind. Not sure you’ll find out so pursue your own dreams
Well, there’s a reason he has changed his mind. Not sure you’ll find out so pursue your own dreams
Nope. If dad has a bad back and is offering to watch your brats for a while while you two party on, the very minimal is give the poor man a comfortable place to sleep.
Your wife is an asshole.
This. Be grateful for the time you have shared, but move on. It’s time.
This. Be grateful for the time you have shared, but move on. It’s time.
This. Be grateful for the time you have shared, but move on. It’s time.
You’ve told him there’s a problem. You’ve told him how it makes you feel. He doesn’t care.
Either you haven’t impressed upon him how much you are struggling or he just doesn’t care that it’s hurting you.
It’s not abnormal to want to be intimate with your partner. Sure there are lulls when you’ve been together for years, but imo having regular intimacy is usually pretty important in maintaining a romantic relationship. It generates all those lovely bonding hormones and reduces stress and depression.
If it is impacting you to the extent you’ve considered cheating- it’s time to have another sit down and tell him this is a dealbreaker. Maybe go to couples therapy if you can.
But ultimately you need to decide if it’s worth it to you to potentially have a sexless relationship. For me it absolutely was not
Is there a way to fix this?
No, we don't fix men.
Yeah, I’m the same way and I always try to communicate this as early as possible!
There have been so many about missing births and missing weddings, bold choice to include both!
He’s very affectionate and loving towards me and he just lacks empathy for other people but he has it for me
If he has been truly diagnosed with ASPD, you're not the exception that proves the rule: he either 1) manages his symptoms and behaviors better around you than he does other people or 2) you're easier for him to lie to or manipulate and get away with it.
That he's gloating to your mother during an argument that she can't break you up is not a good or healthy thing. That he's trying to isolate you from your mother is not a good thing.
You should really reevaluate this relationship
I would hope your wife will understand and be on board with custody as it is the right thing to do. If she isn't well I don't know what to tell you.
Lol this isn’t going to end well. Be sure to link back to this post when you put up another one about how your marriage is imploding.
This is true…I mean there’s other little things like he didn’t introduce me to her for the 6 months he was forming the friendship with her…and some other things but yes he maintains there is nothing and he loves me and I think you’re right trust it or leave it
1, Grow up 2, If she wants to do anything behind your back, she can – there are messages, they can speak to each other
If you act like an insecure teenage girl thats the least helpful.
Your reactions are 100 percent right! This is text book “hoe do you have to react to an abusive/ manipulative partner”. Ofcourse he doesn't like it because he cant manipulate you. You are far more emotional mature than he is.
I would recommand breaking up. This is not going to work. You cant have a healthy relationship with someone like that.
I wouldnt want him in my house anymore never mind the delivery room. Held be fuckin gone.
What does that have to do with what I said?
Be positive but firm with her. Tell her she is wasting her talents on just drifting. She has rested and now it is time to get back to real life. Don’t mention the cleaning- it will start an argument about spying on her. Put your side forward: how much you are working to keep your noses above the water and you don’t want to get home to clean and cook. Tell her she needs to get her cv together and start looking for work. She needs a plan- does she want to change careers? Her life sounds stagnant…
By staying with a cheater you excuse their actions. You say “cheating is not something I consider morally reprehensible enough that I would leave them” or “I believe that I am so low that I’ll accept men with qualities like cheating”
Thanks for the input!
Give him a suprise on his next bj and call it an accident
He's not 10 years old and you're not his mother.
It's not a big ask, on your part.
Lol even the her definition of a perfect man wasn’t enough for her. Seems like she will never have a healthy relationship.
UPDATE: I wanted to add this as so far all of the advice is suggesting this is my fault and that I’m doing harm to the relationship by feeling this way so here’s some more information on why I feel how I do. I am a very sexually liberated person. I constantly advocate for my partner to express their needs and wants and to try anything their heart desires. We typically have intercourse 4-5 times a day. After finding out my partner was seeking out younger and thinner women I came to him to explain how I feel about it. He told me it wasn’t a problem and that I didn’t see what I thought I saw. A year later I find out that he lied to me and has an obsession with small bodied women. I feel like I do everything I can to please him and nurture him , and he still finds time to dedicate to finding smaller and younger women. I don’t want to be told whos right or who’s wrong. I simply want advice on how to talk to him about this in a way that’s understanding and nonjudgmental.
I got this feeling reading OPs post too. He's under immense pressure and most of it comes from her, whether he knows this or not. I don't believe he's the problem here and I have this suspicion that she massively abuses whatever condition she may have or made up to put everything on him. Does she even WANT to get better??
OP, if any of this is the case, I hope you find the strength to stand up to her, push her to be a partner, not a problem and seek support for your own mental wellbeing, whether that's getting out of the house, going to therapy, trying antidepressants, etc..
I've heard guys like flowers maybe send him some flowers and either a gift card to a store he likes or some snacks and drinks he likes if you guys have Instacart you can coordinate it so that he receives it and the person tells him congratulations on the job promotion Because Instacart had a gift setting on orders:)
His plan cost more than mine and covers less than mine does. Mine is 100% covered where as his is 50%
if he doesn’t get done gardening soon, i’m going to yell out the backdoor
“Scar-lux94 thinks you should MAJOR apologize to me.. so whenever you’re ready homeboy”
No you aren’t but come on, READ THE COMMENTS here and get away from this pos who is making you think this!!!! It’s your property!!! Why would YOU be the selfish one??!! Girl you are too young to waste your life on this shit!! Get out!!
You need to leave your girlfriend and never speak to that family again. Go volunteer. Plenty of people need help and love.