How come my rapist isn’t in prison then? In fact women are still not believed to this day. Sure they may be believed more than men but their lives are still made a living hell and rapists still get away with their crimes.
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To think… If my SO get such a horrible new of stage 4 cancer and then survives it, i would be so happy. The thought that i could have nearly lost him and we now have another chance. I would be all around him, caring him on my hands and try to put him in cotton wool because i'm afraid to lose him again.
Your husband either has a strange way to show he is happy or he had already accepted that you will be hone and don't know how to handle that you are still here. So often partner starts to check out while the other get treated for cancer and just stay because it would look bad to leave now. So sad…
Congrats for whining against stage 4 cancer! You have a right for a happy life and a happy relationship. Don't stay with a partner that unhappy that you are there. You deserve so much better ❤️ I wish you the best.
Yes, it is extremely selfish and financially stupid. You’re a father. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never lived alone before. Your window has already closed for experiencing the single, childless life. Your child should always come first, and two parents in the same household providing care is what’s in his best interest. You’re lying to yourself if you actually think you’ll be there when she needs you. And if you’re spending that much time there anyway, your separate place is a waste of money. It’s also not fair to push the majority of child rearing responsibilities on her.
There is no way I can see that this is fair to her or your child. You need to grow up and accept your responsibilities. You had a child very early. You will not get the same experiences most 20 something’s get because of that. ??♀️
Why does her son spending time with his father, completely independent of her, have anything to do with her? Why does she have to make him choose? That's not exactly what unconditional parents' love looks like. But if that's how mom is, maybe OP is better off with his dad. Mom will probably grow to regret it at some point.
He didn’t deny it, & he was not reassuring at all. He did not say I love you & I would never do that. He was just nonchalant & said I dont know who would send this & it’s just someone who wants to create tension. Nothing specific was included but my name was spelled correctly & the person listed his first & last name. Aside from the silent treatment the two weeks prior, I cant recall any weird treatment. He works from home while I go to work so who knows what he could be doing during the day.
If I may ask, because I'm dumb with any sort of relationships or dating, what's the “tell” here that she's interested and not just friendly or comfortable with me?
The people left behind are the ones that matter, including you.
Do what you need to, what they need you to do. So if she says something whilst you are there, okay then you know to leave, but you tried.
Manage your own life going forward, she has done this to herself, there is nothing you could have done to stop her.
Think about your life going forward, if you need to see her then do so, because she will be dead soon enough and the only people that really matter are those left behind.
I am so sorry you are going through this. I dated someone once and when I was processing my past I had come to the realization that I was raped. He questioned me SO much, what I did, why I didn't do this, what could I have done to prevent it, was I asking for it, questioning if it was truly rape, etc. etc. He was upset at me. A person who blames the victim of a brutal and vicious attack like that does not have their best interest at heart, period. They see you as something that is useful to them, they don't see you as a full person or care about your full self. Please seek therapy if you can to help you process your attack. Please know it was not your fault at all. Please know you don't deserve this at all.
Dude – go enjoy some time with your mates. This is something your friends have been wanting to do again WITH YOU for many years. If your GF can’t be supportive and happy for you because it’s something she wants to do that’s problematic – any time a partner lets their jealousy of your joy get in the way of you experiencing that joy that’s a bit of a red flag. Not everything in your life needs to revolve around your partner.
It’s probably a good idea to apologize to her for hiding this from her for a month – but before you do that maybe try to unpack why you felt like you needed to hide something that would make you so happy from her in the first place.
Well I wouldn’t post him on your work social media. Wouldn’t you want to keep that separate just as if it was any other line of work? Or have a separate social media account.
He likes you. Don't call yourself ugly. That's bullshit. It's awkward. That's how it is. Alcohol makes things less awkward but ultimately you've got a wake up sober and deal with people. Go on this date. Let it be awkward. Tell him you feel awkward. You don't have to be anything except yourself. Ask him lots of questions. Pay attention to if he asks you questions. He absolutely should. Tell him your funniest story from high school. Whatever it for goofiness comes out of your mouth will be good because he likes you. Think of interesting things to ask him actually. Not standard interview questions. That will get you guys moving in an hou deeper direction. Look at that questionnaire that there are 35 questions if you go through them with people and if you finish it together you'll fall in love. That's nonsense but research good questions to ask a first date. And be authentic. Blurt out what you are feeling about once an hour or thinking. Even if it's random. He likes you. Believe it. I like you too.
When they don't appreciate what you've done. At all.
How come my rapist isn’t in prison then? In fact women are still not believed to this day. Sure they may be believed more than men but their lives are still made a living hell and rapists still get away with their crimes.
You need to shut the fuck up.
yeah this could be some alpha male 'gotta seem like I don't really give a shit about my relationship to the boys' bullshit. Either way, very weird.
OP what other shady shit has he done?
The risk of you two getting married is that it will all only get worse.
Being together for two years with all that resentment is just unhealthy.
^
Taylor Swift is once in a lifetime. You can always get another college degree. Ha!
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To think… If my SO get such a horrible new of stage 4 cancer and then survives it, i would be so happy. The thought that i could have nearly lost him and we now have another chance. I would be all around him, caring him on my hands and try to put him in cotton wool because i'm afraid to lose him again.
Your husband either has a strange way to show he is happy or he had already accepted that you will be hone and don't know how to handle that you are still here. So often partner starts to check out while the other get treated for cancer and just stay because it would look bad to leave now. So sad…
Congrats for whining against stage 4 cancer! You have a right for a happy life and a happy relationship. Don't stay with a partner that unhappy that you are there. You deserve so much better ❤️ I wish you the best.
And it’s often a case where they really want something but feel it’s too extravagant/justify it
Yeah I have a huge burn on my arm from my dad as a kid that only my ex wife ever knew the real story about.
Just leave dude
Yes, it is extremely selfish and financially stupid. You’re a father. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never lived alone before. Your window has already closed for experiencing the single, childless life. Your child should always come first, and two parents in the same household providing care is what’s in his best interest. You’re lying to yourself if you actually think you’ll be there when she needs you. And if you’re spending that much time there anyway, your separate place is a waste of money. It’s also not fair to push the majority of child rearing responsibilities on her.
There is no way I can see that this is fair to her or your child. You need to grow up and accept your responsibilities. You had a child very early. You will not get the same experiences most 20 something’s get because of that. ??♀️
Why does her son spending time with his father, completely independent of her, have anything to do with her? Why does she have to make him choose? That's not exactly what unconditional parents' love looks like. But if that's how mom is, maybe OP is better off with his dad. Mom will probably grow to regret it at some point.
He didn’t deny it, & he was not reassuring at all. He did not say I love you & I would never do that. He was just nonchalant & said I dont know who would send this & it’s just someone who wants to create tension. Nothing specific was included but my name was spelled correctly & the person listed his first & last name. Aside from the silent treatment the two weeks prior, I cant recall any weird treatment. He works from home while I go to work so who knows what he could be doing during the day.
YOU SAY “GOODBYE”!
You can 100% judge something from when someone was young. 21 is old enough to know better in this instance.
We actually made a list that I adhere to in the mornings! I’ll add onto that with this info, thanks so much!
If I may ask, because I'm dumb with any sort of relationships or dating, what's the “tell” here that she's interested and not just friendly or comfortable with me?
He's got nothing better to do. It's entertaining but still not a relationship.
My current partner would still be with his ex wife if she hadn’t cheated. Not all relationships are terrible. Some end for legitimate reasons ??♀️
The people left behind are the ones that matter, including you.
Do what you need to, what they need you to do. So if she says something whilst you are there, okay then you know to leave, but you tried.
Manage your own life going forward, she has done this to herself, there is nothing you could have done to stop her.
Think about your life going forward, if you need to see her then do so, because she will be dead soon enough and the only people that really matter are those left behind.
Troll, this person keeps reposting the same thing
I am so sorry you are going through this. I dated someone once and when I was processing my past I had come to the realization that I was raped. He questioned me SO much, what I did, why I didn't do this, what could I have done to prevent it, was I asking for it, questioning if it was truly rape, etc. etc. He was upset at me. A person who blames the victim of a brutal and vicious attack like that does not have their best interest at heart, period. They see you as something that is useful to them, they don't see you as a full person or care about your full self. Please seek therapy if you can to help you process your attack. Please know it was not your fault at all. Please know you don't deserve this at all.
Dude – go enjoy some time with your mates. This is something your friends have been wanting to do again WITH YOU for many years. If your GF can’t be supportive and happy for you because it’s something she wants to do that’s problematic – any time a partner lets their jealousy of your joy get in the way of you experiencing that joy that’s a bit of a red flag. Not everything in your life needs to revolve around your partner.
It’s probably a good idea to apologize to her for hiding this from her for a month – but before you do that maybe try to unpack why you felt like you needed to hide something that would make you so happy from her in the first place.
Well I wouldn’t post him on your work social media. Wouldn’t you want to keep that separate just as if it was any other line of work? Or have a separate social media account.
He likes you. Don't call yourself ugly. That's bullshit. It's awkward. That's how it is. Alcohol makes things less awkward but ultimately you've got a wake up sober and deal with people. Go on this date. Let it be awkward. Tell him you feel awkward. You don't have to be anything except yourself. Ask him lots of questions. Pay attention to if he asks you questions. He absolutely should. Tell him your funniest story from high school. Whatever it for goofiness comes out of your mouth will be good because he likes you. Think of interesting things to ask him actually. Not standard interview questions. That will get you guys moving in an hou deeper direction. Look at that questionnaire that there are 35 questions if you go through them with people and if you finish it together you'll fall in love. That's nonsense but research good questions to ask a first date. And be authentic. Blurt out what you are feeling about once an hour or thinking. Even if it's random. He likes you. Believe it. I like you too.