I’m not talking about your former relationship. I’m talking about your belief that how much money one makes determines how much domestic work they should do. You can have all of those qualities and still get paid less than someone who has none of those qualities. Try telling a teacher or a nurse that they should do more work domestic work than their partner because they clearly lack discipline, sacrifice, and good decision-making because they chose a career that benefits society rather than large corporations. Capitalism might value people based on their income, but we shouldn’t do that in our relationships.
Sure, I knew someone would say that. But guess what? You can actually feel or not feel anything you believe you can. We have a lot more control over our emotions than we think we do.
HOWEVER – since you're invested in feeling hurt, go ahead. I don't know why anyone would want to, but it seems to work for you.
Maybe you need to make sure she enjoys it more? Just because you're getting off doesn't mean she necessarily is. I ask since you said she complained about hurting/soreness.
You guys haven’t been together that long, and based on her actions here, I’d be done with her. The first and second contact were understandable but the third is pushing far past the boundaries you clearly set and is indeed an act of disrespect for you. It’s very obvious who’s side she is picking here, so the best move might just be to let her make it.
As soon as you get back, I would confront her and let her know how you felt about her actions and how you aren’t comfortable with the close relationship her and her ex are having. If it happens to be a problem with her, then cool no problem, let her know that you will be seeing other people. It’s not worth this, especially so early in the relationship, and if she TRULY cared and only wanted you, then none of this would even be a problem.
If you guys are fighting this much 8 months in when you are still suppose to be in your honeymoon phase then this is bad news.
Neither of you are ready for a deeper commitment and as things go, as you have explained them this situation is getting extremely toxic and will most likely become very abusive too.
You need to first work on yourself, your sense of self is too low and you can't expect to have a good healthy stable relationship if you can't stand firmly on the ground. Please go to therapy, work on yourself and grow, once you mastered yourself these things won't be an issue.
You are wrong. My brother is a cop and he has been part of retrieving animals in similar circumstances at least a dozen times. OP just needs to prove ownership. A text chain where husband admits to having removed the cat without permission would be helpful but establishing ownership is the key factor.
I was just put on Beta blockers on Thursday. I had an ultrasound scan on Friday March 31st and they found two enlarged nodules on my thyroid, I was then scheduled for another Uptake & Scan on April 24th, so I cannot be put on synthetic thyroid medication until after the scan, since it will effect the results (it could be just cysts or as worse as cancer). My results from my first Ultrasound did not come back until April 5th and I was placed on beta blockers to help with the side effects on April 6th.
He sounds like he only cares about his own opinions. Stand your grounds and don't let him manipulate you. Explain and if he doesn't want to accept it, that's your biggest red flag.
This was last December so at that point it was a year and a few months. If they don't on-line together (which they probably don't given he didn't know she was gone) then they probably aren't very serious. I don't know many people who date that long who don't move to the next step (ie living together).
I agree with the original statement, that depending on how serious/casual they were she might not have felt it was any of his business.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Best you can do is tell her that you will be there to support her and voice your concerns but you can't force her to do anything or even force her to see reason. This is something she will have to do by herself.
just be honest and say “you really hurt me by your comments and i cant forgive you” and if he argues just show him the door
I’m not talking about your former relationship. I’m talking about your belief that how much money one makes determines how much domestic work they should do. You can have all of those qualities and still get paid less than someone who has none of those qualities. Try telling a teacher or a nurse that they should do more work domestic work than their partner because they clearly lack discipline, sacrifice, and good decision-making because they chose a career that benefits society rather than large corporations. Capitalism might value people based on their income, but we shouldn’t do that in our relationships.
Sure, I knew someone would say that. But guess what? You can actually feel or not feel anything you believe you can. We have a lot more control over our emotions than we think we do.
HOWEVER – since you're invested in feeling hurt, go ahead. I don't know why anyone would want to, but it seems to work for you.
Maybe you need to make sure she enjoys it more? Just because you're getting off doesn't mean she necessarily is. I ask since you said she complained about hurting/soreness.
Because you're not the only person he's attracted to or cares about.
I get you, it’s long distance. I shoulda have added that
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That's a possibility regardless he made plans and his priority should be sticking to them.
dang thanks for crushing my dreams about my plan for affordable fresh produce….
What am I missing here? I think it's sweet.
You guys haven’t been together that long, and based on her actions here, I’d be done with her. The first and second contact were understandable but the third is pushing far past the boundaries you clearly set and is indeed an act of disrespect for you. It’s very obvious who’s side she is picking here, so the best move might just be to let her make it.
As soon as you get back, I would confront her and let her know how you felt about her actions and how you aren’t comfortable with the close relationship her and her ex are having. If it happens to be a problem with her, then cool no problem, let her know that you will be seeing other people. It’s not worth this, especially so early in the relationship, and if she TRULY cared and only wanted you, then none of this would even be a problem.
UpdateMe!
This sounds like it was written by a dude.
Insist on a non invasion DNA test prior to birth.
If you want to be full there for him, then you should just delay having sex. I delayed for 10 years.
If he is usually someone who can't function on sleep, I wouldn't start misinterpreting that now….
Call the nurse. Talk to her. Focus on getting sleep. You've been through a lot, and now is the time to get the sleep your body needs.
Have a nice life & bye!
My dude, you were raped. End shit with her and explore your legal options
Dude the wife was at someone else's home
You’ve known/dates this guy for 3 months and you’re not even exclusive.. don’t share.
Ahhh I see! Totally agree with you and also think it’s obviously physically impossible to be that perfect!!
Actually might not be a bad idea. This kind of manic behavior is a big suicide red flag.
run, this is a bad bet.
If you guys are fighting this much 8 months in when you are still suppose to be in your honeymoon phase then this is bad news.
Neither of you are ready for a deeper commitment and as things go, as you have explained them this situation is getting extremely toxic and will most likely become very abusive too.
You need to first work on yourself, your sense of self is too low and you can't expect to have a good healthy stable relationship if you can't stand firmly on the ground. Please go to therapy, work on yourself and grow, once you mastered yourself these things won't be an issue.
Kindergartens are less dramatic than A ???
I'd want examples of them parenting you.
A03? when I search that I find a link to a blog called Archives of Our Own. Is that what A03 stands for?
It’s really not. She doesn’t support financially so she repays me with affection and sexual things. It’s the least she can do
You get on tinder to hook up with people. So yes, she's cheating or at best is planning to.
Thank you so much, I needed to hear that !
You are wrong. My brother is a cop and he has been part of retrieving animals in similar circumstances at least a dozen times. OP just needs to prove ownership. A text chain where husband admits to having removed the cat without permission would be helpful but establishing ownership is the key factor.
Reading the title – okay why do you call him your boyfriend?
I was just put on Beta blockers on Thursday. I had an ultrasound scan on Friday March 31st and they found two enlarged nodules on my thyroid, I was then scheduled for another Uptake & Scan on April 24th, so I cannot be put on synthetic thyroid medication until after the scan, since it will effect the results (it could be just cysts or as worse as cancer). My results from my first Ultrasound did not come back until April 5th and I was placed on beta blockers to help with the side effects on April 6th.
He sounds like he only cares about his own opinions. Stand your grounds and don't let him manipulate you. Explain and if he doesn't want to accept it, that's your biggest red flag.
You are overthinking. Relax. Love your life.
This was last December so at that point it was a year and a few months. If they don't on-line together (which they probably don't given he didn't know she was gone) then they probably aren't very serious. I don't know many people who date that long who don't move to the next step (ie living together).
I agree with the original statement, that depending on how serious/casual they were she might not have felt it was any of his business.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink. Best you can do is tell her that you will be there to support her and voice your concerns but you can't force her to do anything or even force her to see reason. This is something she will have to do by herself.