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Allie, y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Allie
Date: November 24, 2022
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As a Hispanic woman, I’m glad someone finally brought this up. The typical Hispanic family is incredibly tight-knit. It’s a collective culture, not an individualistic one like your typical white American. We are taught to respect elders above all, and parents emphasize that we are their children, not their friends. As a kid, I wasn’t even allowed to joke around with my parents the way my white friends did. They would’ve scolded me and told me I was lucky they didn’t slap me or wash my mouth with soap the way my grandparents did to them. My parents often said that family were the only people in the world that would ever truly care about me and that no one else could be trusted. My parents had so much unaddressed trauma, which made them lean into those Hispanic values extra hot.
I was thoroughly unprepared for life as an independent adult. The first time I made a critical adult decision (at 23!!) that contradicted everything they’d told me (at times yelling at me), I panicked and cried for weeks. I knew I was doing the right thing, and in the end, I gave them one hell of an “I told you so”. They were forced to apologize. 7 years later, we’ve all gotten therapy — individual and as a family, and things are better than ever, despite still having some ridiculously frustrating moments.
A lot of people are telling OP to just cut her mom out of her life cold turkey, but like you said, it’s not that simple. In addition, OP sounds like she still yearns for a good relationship with her mom and probably won’t be able to cut ties until she feels like she truly tried all she could. At one point, things with my parents were so bad, I told them I refused to speak to them again unless it was in family therapy. We all love each other, and deep down, we all wanted a good relationship. They knew I was dead serious, so the agreed, and that very week, we started seeing a therapist. My recommendation to OP would be to try something similar. If her mom truly loves her and wants to have a good relationship with her, she will do whatever it takes to salvage the relationship. If her mom refuses, then OP will know for sure how her mom feels, and she will have an easier time cutting her out of her life. No lingering questions.
I have a theory … the public hole theory… if someone’s mouth is grody ( their publicly viewable hole) then their other private hole (s) are probably a goddamn travesty…