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I feel the same way about cum. Thankfully my hubby of 19 years is now very accepting of my boundaries. He used to be kind of insistent that swallowing would make him feel more loved and accepted, but as we’ve aged he stopped doing that and now says he doesn’t need that to know he’s loved. He has NEVER purposely finished in my mouth, but once or twice I got a little bit in my mouth before he pulled away…and of course I gag/puke when that happens and he’s very apologetic. If your bf repeatedly ignores your boundaries, then you need to question his “love” for you because he is selfishly sexually abusing you. He’s just using you without any consideration for your feelings. I would communicate how deeply this hurts you and tell him it is a dealbreaker. Leave if his behavior doesn’t change.
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this seems more brutal than other comments, but i stand by everything i typed
so you ‘don’t know’ if you want to marry her, you think breakup would be a difficult inconvenience because you’re in an intensive research, yet you know how badly she wants to get married (a given on her and her family pressuring/asking about it)?
wow. you have been stringing her along and wasting her time for a year and a half. a year and a half. it should not take that long to figure out if you want to be with her. almost 4 years in and you aren’t sure if you want to be with her for another 40 years? be honest, you already know, you’re just waiting for the best time for yourself to breakup with her
you say you love her, but yet you aren’t being honest with her about a future with her and only sticking around because you enjoy her companionship and it’s easier than a breakup. someone who truly loves her wouldn’t do that. someone who actually loves her would say “i don’t want the same thing, i should let her go find her happiness with someone who can give what i can’t” or simply just want to marry her. especially after thinking about it for a fucking year and a half
your poor girlfriend is probably thinking you are making plans to propose, or that you at least feel the same as she does about getting married, because a caring parter would have already had a conversation about not seeing a future together. betrayal is typically a word used for cheating and things like that, but this is a betrayal: she likely trust you that you would have spoken up by now and not wasted her time if you didn’t want the things she was asking for, yet you are stringing her along and getting her hopes up. sit her down and be honest with her, let her move on and heal from this betrayal and find what she wants somewhere else
If anybody says anything the cousin should probably say something. If bro and girl were committed at the time of cousin incident the girl is deceptive and won't say anything. If cousin didn't know girl was committed he did nothing wrong she did.
Thank you. I'm very open with him about it, I've told him about my PTSD moments and he understands, he too has had simuler issues so he gets where I'm coming fro. And he supports me so much
While I think the room mate acted overly aggressive, I don’t see what kind of charges can even be pressed. Unless she is in illegal possession of the firearm, from a legal standpoint, no laws were broken.
Uh no? There are degrees of assault. Class C the lowest degree and a misdemeanor, highest form of punishment is a fine of no more than $500. Class A monetary fine not to exceed $4k. Then felony assault, 3rd, 2nd and 1st Degree.
>so as any lesbian would do , the next month we moved in together
People should react the same way in any relationship. It's a big red flag to move in with a person after knowing them for a month. But..
>I even saved her from a sussy attempt on the 14th of this month.
If “sussy” is a slang for trying to kill themself, this person is absolutely not ready for a life long relationship. Period!
> i figured it would be a no brainer to ask her to marry me.
NO! She needs to work on herself first.
>Someone please tell me what I should do
Let her know that she's a great person, but it's best if you two break off the engagement. Then, make plans to move out (but close by to her). Encourage her to get therapy and help. I also suggest therapy for you as well.
I totally get where you are coming from and in so many circumstances I think this is a pitfall of ours, but 3.5 years? I just can’t imagine they haven’t figured it out by now if they both wanted to, physically emotionally whatever. In 3.5 years he must have accidentally rubbed her emotional clit enough for her to be interested,right?
This, been there, this this this this this x 100% and knowing who I was, probably won't follow our advice.
However, I offer my condolences and unconditional forgiveness for making this mistake. It's tough, being young, in love with a piece of garbage, and naive.
We have actually had a break before (about a year and a half ago, which lasted maybe a month and a half), before getting stronger together – this was when my mental health was in the shitter.
My big issue however is that if I move out, he will lose everything, with no money to sustain the place and no room left at his family home now (his sisters have now moved around and filled the space). On top of that, he does have moments where he enjoys my time and appreciates my help tremendously.
I don't want to leave him and that isn't something I really seek unless he wants to. I guess I want to know what really helps in the meantime?
I feel the same way about cum. Thankfully my hubby of 19 years is now very accepting of my boundaries. He used to be kind of insistent that swallowing would make him feel more loved and accepted, but as we’ve aged he stopped doing that and now says he doesn’t need that to know he’s loved. He has NEVER purposely finished in my mouth, but once or twice I got a little bit in my mouth before he pulled away…and of course I gag/puke when that happens and he’s very apologetic. If your bf repeatedly ignores your boundaries, then you need to question his “love” for you because he is selfishly sexually abusing you. He’s just using you without any consideration for your feelings. I would communicate how deeply this hurts you and tell him it is a dealbreaker. Leave if his behavior doesn’t change.
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this seems more brutal than other comments, but i stand by everything i typed
so you ‘don’t know’ if you want to marry her, you think breakup would be a difficult inconvenience because you’re in an intensive research, yet you know how badly she wants to get married (a given on her and her family pressuring/asking about it)?
wow. you have been stringing her along and wasting her time for a year and a half. a year and a half. it should not take that long to figure out if you want to be with her. almost 4 years in and you aren’t sure if you want to be with her for another 40 years? be honest, you already know, you’re just waiting for the best time for yourself to breakup with her
you say you love her, but yet you aren’t being honest with her about a future with her and only sticking around because you enjoy her companionship and it’s easier than a breakup. someone who truly loves her wouldn’t do that. someone who actually loves her would say “i don’t want the same thing, i should let her go find her happiness with someone who can give what i can’t” or simply just want to marry her. especially after thinking about it for a fucking year and a half
your poor girlfriend is probably thinking you are making plans to propose, or that you at least feel the same as she does about getting married, because a caring parter would have already had a conversation about not seeing a future together. betrayal is typically a word used for cheating and things like that, but this is a betrayal: she likely trust you that you would have spoken up by now and not wasted her time if you didn’t want the things she was asking for, yet you are stringing her along and getting her hopes up. sit her down and be honest with her, let her move on and heal from this betrayal and find what she wants somewhere else
You are clearly her second choice. Are you OK with that? Will you trust that she will not leave you again?
“and I should know, I keep an eye out”….. Is he actively stalking you after the breakup? Cuz that's fucked.
If anybody says anything the cousin should probably say something. If bro and girl were committed at the time of cousin incident the girl is deceptive and won't say anything. If cousin didn't know girl was committed he did nothing wrong she did.
Thank you. I'm very open with him about it, I've told him about my PTSD moments and he understands, he too has had simuler issues so he gets where I'm coming fro. And he supports me so much
You don’t.
Ah ok, thank you.
And she wasn't even sad, but relieved to see her son leave? Yikes…
While I think the room mate acted overly aggressive, I don’t see what kind of charges can even be pressed. Unless she is in illegal possession of the firearm, from a legal standpoint, no laws were broken.
Uh no? There are degrees of assault. Class C the lowest degree and a misdemeanor, highest form of punishment is a fine of no more than $500. Class A monetary fine not to exceed $4k. Then felony assault, 3rd, 2nd and 1st Degree.
>so as any lesbian would do , the next month we moved in together
People should react the same way in any relationship. It's a big red flag to move in with a person after knowing them for a month. But..
>I even saved her from a sussy attempt on the 14th of this month.
If “sussy” is a slang for trying to kill themself, this person is absolutely not ready for a life long relationship. Period!
> i figured it would be a no brainer to ask her to marry me.
NO! She needs to work on herself first.
>Someone please tell me what I should do
Let her know that she's a great person, but it's best if you two break off the engagement. Then, make plans to move out (but close by to her). Encourage her to get therapy and help. I also suggest therapy for you as well.
I totally get where you are coming from and in so many circumstances I think this is a pitfall of ours, but 3.5 years? I just can’t imagine they haven’t figured it out by now if they both wanted to, physically emotionally whatever. In 3.5 years he must have accidentally rubbed her emotional clit enough for her to be interested,right?
This, been there, this this this this this x 100% and knowing who I was, probably won't follow our advice.
However, I offer my condolences and unconditional forgiveness for making this mistake. It's tough, being young, in love with a piece of garbage, and naive.
Seeking validation from other women is emotional cheating. Valid enough reason to leave.
First of all, happy cake day! And secondly thank you for the advice.
We have actually had a break before (about a year and a half ago, which lasted maybe a month and a half), before getting stronger together – this was when my mental health was in the shitter.
My big issue however is that if I move out, he will lose everything, with no money to sustain the place and no room left at his family home now (his sisters have now moved around and filled the space). On top of that, he does have moments where he enjoys my time and appreciates my help tremendously.
I don't want to leave him and that isn't something I really seek unless he wants to. I guess I want to know what really helps in the meantime?
Thanks for your reply!