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Alyssa and Seby, 26 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Alyssa and Seby
Date: October 18, 2022
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The only thing I will say about this is…you are choosing to marry this person and create a life with them. Your parents should have no real input on this. It should be a decision made with the person you are marrying.
Your bf wants to be the only man in your life, his demands and childish outbursts are a deal breaker, replace him with a real man who would insist that your dad doesn’t drive in the dark for safety reasons.
Rude
Do not, i repeat do not put your GF on the mortgage or the deed to your house. If you guys don't work out she has every right to half of the house if you decide to sale.
Yes
Insist on a paternity test. This could easily be manipulation—in fact there’s a good chance it is.
If it turns out not to be yours, block her in every possible way and never speak with her again.
I hope he apologized. He sounds a bit insufferable.
Yeah I agree. It feels like no one knows what to do so most of us just step back and watch while the others do what they think is helping sister (but actually enabling). No one holds her accountable for anything. And she will never hit rock bottom with mom always making sure she will be taken care of.
You should tell her that it made you feel weird.
Gaslighting! My EX boyfriend has said similar things. It’s so frustrating when they say “I don’t know why I bother talking to you” “this is why I don’t tell you how I feel”
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Why does it make you uncomfortable?
You can't force people in love with each other to stop being in love just because you're uncomfortable. That's incredibly unsupportive and mean. You should be happy for them!
Yes, if their relationship fails in future, this can and will have some fallout on the friendscircle. Experienced this after a short relationship with a former friend, and yes, of course it made a difference afterwards. But that's life. If everyone stopped trying anything because it might eventually fail, there wouldn't be any relationships.
Sorry, he’s been radicalized by the American Taliban….probably from the internet.
It's clear he is using her past to manipulate her. What about his unclean ?? Hmmmmmm? ? I think she should beat him at his own game and tell him she can't marry him until she proves his penis is clean.
The problem isn't how much he eats? 15 slices of pizza??? Like yes, obviously he is an inconsiderate black hole of a human but no, there's nothing normal about eating more than an entire pizza to yourself. Sounds like he has a binge eating disorder. For him to say you're shaming him is ridiculous when you glossed over 15 slices like it was a small detail. X% more food consumed = X% more dollars to the host and you should not have to explain that very basic concept to a grown man.
The fact of the matter is you are literally sneaking around because it's understandably embarrassing to be seen in public with him. Eventually you're going to get caught and you're going to need to tell him the truth, or he'll probably think you're cheating. If he's not going to take some responsibility for his behavior, all you can do is accept him as he is or leave. Would not blame you for leaving.
Sorry but you are probably too little, too late. As you said, for her it was the last straw. People will only take so much, and so many empty promises. An ex once asked my mother how love could just so suddenly die. I loved her answer (I wasn't there at the time but she told me later). She said, “Love doesn't just suddenly die — but it can be slow-stomped to death.” That is what happened with you. Every time you gave her an empty promise you stomped on her love one more time. Eventually you stomped it to death.
Will she ever really trust you again? Likely not. Should she? Nude to say — it's rare for people to truly change and stay that way.
How do you proceed? You keep your distance, do not apply one shred of pressure, and find other things to do in the meantime. If she comes around, great. If not, at least you have sat in the corner and sulked waiting for it to happen.
If you are already married and you are already married we probably talk about minor area with your sister when they first met, right?
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Acceptable isn't the word I'd choose. Neither seeking out sex workers nor having an affair are options that I'd choose myself, and in general on this sub I advocate the people split up rather than stay in a miserable situation, once the possibility of reconciliation has passed. We've only got one life to live, why be miserable?
However, sometimes people just stay. They stay in a shitty situation for reasons that make sense to them. Maybe it's financial, maybe the kids, maybe a million things. The couple in this OP sounds like they do not like each other. They have effectively separated, on an intimate level. OP goes into very few of those details, which is interesting because that's probably the root of all of this. All we're left with is a story of betrayal by the husband, with no acknowledgment whatsoever at what led to that. I'm not defending OPs husband, but I'm not blaming him either. If these two have abandoned shared intimacy for years, then I'm not surprised that the husband is seeking it elsewhere.
So, my initial question harks back to my earlier point that if these two are not together because they bring each other joy, but instead for some other “reason”, then wouldn't OP prefer that her husband seek intimacy from someone who isn;'t going to threaten the marriage she has stayed in for this long?
And depending on where OP is, seeking out sex workers *could* be significantly safer than trying to meet strangers at a bar. There are places where workers are regularly tested and made safe. I'm not going to assume the guy is a noble “John”, but it's not written in stone that sex workers are diseased or trafficking victims.
Why does anybody even bother posting these identical stories? The advice is always overwhelmingly the same in this sub: “guuuuuurl he's not working because he has a mental illness? It's time to leave him!”
That's it. I literally gave you all the advice you'll ever need if your boyfriend stops working. Maybe what you're really seeking is the validation of hundreds of redditors telling you the same piece of advice, but I promise you, you're never going to get any different advice from this subreddit.
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Here's a crazy idea. Stop with the mind games and just ask if he'd be interested in going out on a date if he moves back.
That's true, but if she lived nearby by this stage I'd have already gone on a date with her you know, but at the same time we've talked for over 3 months now and she's still showing signs of wanting more than just friendship so we've gotten past the 3 month rule as well
Grow up. You can’t be in a relationship until you’re a grown up. Many, many, stupid decisions were made and none of them by your girl.
You can’t defend her own breathalyzer because it’s ridiculous. You sir OP are ridiculous, your GF wanting to ensure she wasn’t too impaired to drive is the opposite of ridiculous.
I seriously hope you GF can take a step back and realize that a group of losers that have to drop acid together is just boys playing at bring men. They’re not men, not even close.
I would admit to her that you're going to dump her.
Carry around a piece of paper that says
I did not consent to being filmed and she refuses to be an adult and respect my right to refuse
Hold it in front of your face every time she turns her phone toward you. It'll ruin her shots and force her to edit you out.
She was 20 when we started dating. I'm not accusing her of being immature, I'm just saying that I wish she would realize that her “friend” does really shady shit that true friends wouldn't do. This isn't the only instance where her friend has done shit like this, I just thought that this time she'd truly see what her friend is about.
I personally could never become friends with someone that ruins what is supposed to be one of the best days of my life. Imagine you're 9 months pregnant and you find out your boyfriend is cheating on you. That has to be one of the shittiest feelings in the world. She saw how my girlfriend was literally crying from that on the delivery bed when we were talking about me cheating but STILL chose not to say anything until she was caught in a lie. It actually makes me sick talking about it. All I'm saying that just because you are friends with someone for a long time DOES NOT mean they have your best interest in mind.
I think you're right, I assumed he was looking for equity for chores but I was completely wrong. We both need to see each others perspectives, learn each other's love languages, and communicate.
You sound exhausting. You have no claim to this property. He gave it away to assuage his guilt over betraying his then wife. She isn't stealing anything from you, you're trying to steal something that's hers. Let it go.
She expects me to be okay with very little contact while she’s off partying for a week. It just doesn’t sit right with me. I thought she would want to talk to me but instead it just feels so forced
I don’t think that’s really the issue though. He even said he wouldn’t of cared if she was just upfront about it. I don’t believe she’s at fault here though because it sounds like she’s having issues communicating.
Also, she doesn’t seem as mutually excited about doing things with him. I would view that as maybe her feelings aren’t as strong or he’s moving too fast. Either way, they both need to be honest about it
The divorce rate is over 50 percent.
I guess we aren't friends! Fooled me though by doing more than the minimum to be nice though. Thanks for validating what my guts been saying. I'll cut her out.
Do not be roommates with this lad. Neither of you will be comfortable in what should be your home.
Be honest with the boy. Its not going to be fun, but you owe it to yourself.
I know that in life with anything there are three options: accept the situation, walk away from the situation or change the situation. But i never asked her to learn how to twerk, or stripdance, or deepthroat, or try anal, in short, i never asked her to change who she is. But if she knows that once the sex gets going she gets turned on. Is it too much to ask to unzip my pants and pull it out and be the one that initiates? If she never gets turned on, never likes sex, then ok, what im asking from her is unjust. But she and i both know we enjoy sex. Even if its out of her character to seduce and initiate. Im not asking her to striptease and massage me. Just grab it. I will do the rest. I dont think im being unfair or unjust to feel this way
Love is a stupid reason to be with someone. You can easily love people you should never be in a relationship with.
She says she wants to work on it but what actions had she actually taken? I'm guessing none. That doesn't sound like someone actively trying to find a solution, that sounds like someone stringing you along.
C'mon dude. You are miserable out you wouldn't be on Reddit posting about being miserable. Right now you are doing the same thing she is, talking with no action. Nothing is going to change unless you act.
This is not the place, the time, nor the audience. Again, gtfo. You are being a troll. With less respect, gtfo.
And this doesn’t even include a vaginal exam. Legally they cannot examine you down there until you’re 18 (at least where I’m from). Maybe that changes if you have parents consent, but, wtf at 9 years old?
It makes more sense to you that you didn’t tell her and just forget lol but that she took your finger while you were sleeping and you didn’t wake up or notice and she took your number from your phone lmao after you were at her house and slept with her lol
Does she have Postpartum depression or ptsd from her experience? I think she needs to get therapy and if she still wants to no longer wants to go through that again then you need to either accept it or divorce.
You got me thinking…with the timing, it could be LSD. I live! in Denver where it’s legal and I’ve tried it; the timing would fit if they were dropping after drinking a little, around 10 or 11 or so and tripping all night. He comes back at 6 AM after the trip ends. The houses could be their little trip caves where they drop acid.
Kick this man out.
If you aren't ready for that, then at least set down some rules for yourself, starting with, there are no “wife things” that ANYONE is “required” to do.
If he wants a partner who will function like an old school wife, well then he should be an old school husband and financially support you. Oh he doesn't want to do that? Of course he doesn't, but then why would you cook and clean for him?
Please, set some boundaries:
ALL bills need to be split 50/50, if he won't pay them directly, then he needs to give you X at the beginning of each month for internet, electric, and groceries. He has to do 50% of the chores, end of story. If he won't do the dishes, then don't cook for him
You deserve better than he is treating you, not just on Valentine's Day, but every day. So start by being honest and calm with him that he needs to step up and be an equal partner, and no, you are not required to do “wife things” for any man, especially one that isn't pulling his “husband things.”
Wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who cherished you? And made you feel like he’s never even look at another woman?
Yeah. Dump this clown and find that guy
Guy made his wife’s boyfriend a personalised sandwich ?
I want to say tell her. I would want to know. However, the fact that he is in law enforcement puts a completely different complexion on things. If there was a way to let her k ow and ensure your safety… but that probably wishful thinking. Even if he personally doesn’t retaliate against you, his buddies on the force might. Not worth the risk.
I want to say tell her. I would want to know. However, the fact that he is in law enforcement puts a completely different complexion on things. If there was a way to let her k ow and ensure your safety… but that probably wishful thinking. Even if he personally doesn’t retaliate against you, his buddies on the force might. Not worth the risk.
Op honestly..you’re better off without them
I do hope your sister leaves with her kids
But still your family sucks
UpdateMe!
Abusers often start out great and don’t show their true colors until you’re more locked in in various ways. Because you’re isolated from your support system, or reliant on them financially, because of marriage/kids, or sometimes just by the sunk cost fallacy of time spent.
If they were abusive from day 1 or even day 50, everyone would just leave.
I don’t mean to be mean or anything. If you’re in a marriage where just calmly communicating your needs is going to cause a blowup that tells you something. You’re walking on eggshells in your own home. It’s not like you’re telling him you want to have an affair or you’ve emptied the bank account. Your just saying that you want some personal time (which will make you a happier and better mother and wife). Maybe a therapist could help you find the best way to bring this up without causing a blowup.
I can't love kale platonically
Did you make the right decision? This is purely an ethical question and Im not here to pass judgement.
On one hand it would be nude for you to lose feelings for your friend, but on the other hand you did just repay a friend going above and beyond to help you by blocking them.
If you feel you made the right choice then things will get better with time, you will get new friends, but you should also understand why your friends found your behaviour unacceptable.
That’s very masculine angry energy.
Thinking there is no difference to men and women is more unfortunate conditioning of third wave feminism.
Of course you don’t work to increase your value. Man don’t value it.
Your individual behaviour isn’t important to a man that wants marriage and a family. If your goal is to stay single or have a low value man then that’s fine.
There are multiple ways to raise a child . There are even lots of single mothers. But having an SAHM is the best option with a partner working. It’s what we are discussing.
Could a father not be present because he’s working? Possibly but it’s not a standard problem. Just a fear you exaggerate to justify something to yourself. It is your personal excuse you tell yourself as to why you ‘had’ to work. Did it clear your conscience? If the father has to work so many hours that he doesn’t see his family then he actually needed you to work because he wasn’t making enough. Needing you to work is very difficult because it’s purely about survival. That’s understandable.
It’s unfortunate you were such a masculine mother. You don’t sound different than a man. You cheated your child from a mom. Two people acting like dad won’t help them.
There is no working reasonable hours. There is just you leaving your child to work. It’s sad that time means so little to you but then again, you just gave birth to them. There is no maternal instinct from you.
Yup. I did say that about choice. That’s life. Saying biology is garbage is ridiculous.
If we were made live that way then nearly all of us would be happy to naturally.
It’s great you say that because most were happy. Feminism changed that. Notice how angry and masculine you are. It got you resenting your life and role. It got you wanting a thankless job completing against men, over wanting time with your child.
You on-line how you want if you can find a partner who agrees.
Isn’t that everyone?
But the day I let you tell me or my daughter how to live! will never arrive.
Your daughter will make her own decisions. Whether she wants to live! like you is yet to be determined. Children often cycle their childhood. You see it a lot with broken relationships. So she may have picked up your behaviour.
You seem confused. I have zero ability to tell you how to online. You have already done and doing it. So it’s irrelevant and emotionally silly.
Why is she telling you this now?
Get yourself a new Piano Teacher. This will be better for you.
Dont think run to a divorce lawyer.
I totally get the anxiety, but at the same time there is nothing you can do but be a loving and supportive partner.
My husband and I met at 15 and started dating at 17. Felt like the world was kind of against us, no one thought we would last. Been together 13 years (waited a bit to live together, got married and now own a place). 22 is still really young, and yes, of course things can change and you could grow apart. But what if you don’t? Just keep on being a great partner to him and vice versa. Somehow my husband and I grew together. I hope the same for you guys.
She didn’t even bring it up before deciding? Knowing she already had plans to move with you? That seems awful. I don’t think it’s about the weather I think it’s about the living with friends and hanging out and having that experience which I get, but why not bring it up to you?
This will take time but you'll get past it. It's really a pretty understandable situation, and you're level headed enough to know she didn't do anything “wrong” which is the most important thing. Obviously this hurts you a lot (how could it not give you the ick?) But it's been a day. Just want to applaud you a little extra for being reasonable in spite of your pain. Most men would let the hurt crush the rationality. Disgusting that your brother kept this in his back pocket specifically to use when he could hurt you with it.
People seem to be forgetting that it’s his goddamn B R O T H E R! Not some random guy!
Really no way to say without knowing the area and being able to see a listing for the house. A $3k mortgage is considered cheap in a lot of areas these days as crazy as that sounds.
Get a lease agreement and renters insurance if you are going to be paying rent. Protect yourself.
That’s incredibly creepy. I wouldn’t let someone touch me, period. I have coworkers I’ve known my whole life, some I will hug, most are at arms length. He’s crossing many boundaries, the texting is also an issue. I would not be ok with it, and I would make sure boundaries were set and it stopped immediately.
Thank you! My husband and I are child free but far before marriage agreed that we would take in any niblings if something tragic were to happen. There is choosing to not bring children into this world, and then there is choosing not to help children who are already in your life when they need someone the most. I am flabbergasted.
It won't be so casual for OP as he has feelings for the ex – he would just be hurt again when she finds someone new, and it will cause a whole new kind of mess with more resentment and all. Better to rip off the bandage now.
Tell you partner this.
And don't forget to say how easily you can discard HIM.
You’re reaching towards others because of the previous betrayal. I’m sure there’s other reasons too but it’s so nude to completely forgive someone for something they did that hurt you like that. You don’t have to forgive her, it’s okay to leave to be happier.
You still suck for kissing someone else though. You hung out with her again knowing you had attraction to her and you kissed. That’s a sucky thing to do. It doesn’t really matter if your girlfriend previously did something more sucky because it still sucks. You should tell her and break up. You’re doing a version of what devastated you. Sure, not for 8 months but still.
Talk to your girlfriend, you should probably break up. I don’t care whether or not you go for this woman you’re attracted to. It’s not wrong if you’re single, but what you did still sucks.
That's facts.
Just ignore it.
Yes she Snapchats with a few of her guy friends all day everyday
It doesn't sound as if either of you are fully committed to each other, and definitely not ready for a proposal. You can try honestly communicating, but think about whether you truly want to fix it, or merely think that's the appropriate thing to do.
Por que tienes 4 años casado con una persona que supuestamente no te satisface sexualmente? Tienes años en esta aplicación buscando montarle cachos a tu esposa pero ahora tienes consideración por ella? No tiene sentido