Please don’t be offended : You didn’t lose out in the quincenera department , you lost out on the mother department. Your mom sounds like she is very strict on you and you fall below her standards. And if you met them, she would raise them. I don’t know if your mom is being malicious or she truly thinks that being hard on you as a parent will help you later on life. Some parents don’t know how to show affection beyond tough love. She isn’t responsible for your cousin so she is more relaxed around her. I don’t think it has anything to do with you. I think it was how your mom was raised and this is the only thing she knows. Trying to teach that love isn’t supposed to be “earned” by a child’s “good” behavior is like teaching an abuela to apologize (encanto reference). So what that means for you, is that you might lose out on some life’s experiences because of how your mom is. But I think you should have a deeper conversation with your mom about wanting to bond with her and how important those bonding experiences are to you. How you want to go through life with each other by the side. And possibly speak to her why she has such high standards for you. Tell her flat out, how do you display your love for me?
That's kinda how karma works. You really hurt her when you cheated on her. In your case, karma waited until you had developed a greater bond to your girlfriend before it came to collect on your debt. Now you're getting back what you have tenfold.
It is not youre fault. You have done nothing wrong. Call the police, that is a threat of domestic violence and murder. Call the police. If the DA won't prosecute get a restraining order. If he violates that a certain amount of times (different depending on where you are) he can get jail time. He is toxic asf and you need to het him out of your life. If you feel unsafe where you are ask a trusted close friend and/or family member to come round to your place. You cannot blame yourself. You need him out your life.
I have always peed in the shower even with my partners present (showering with me or not) It has never been an issue/ First wife even peed with me on occasion.
Question: other than reducing his text messaging with the woman he cheated on you with, what has he actually done to regain your trust? It looks like he's barely reduced contact at all, other than not texting as much. Another question: do you feel like he is showing you any level of respect right now? Additionally, are you happy to have this swept under the carpet so quickly, as it has been? If not, what are you doing to make sure he is being accountable for his actions? Finally, why are you accepting him complaining about not feeling trusted right now? That's the whole point, you don't trust him! He needs to be regaining that trust!
Hi. I'm a pregnant woman. They can absolutely do paternity testing via a blood test now and it is non-invasive and won't harm the baby. She's got no reason to draw this out.
Break up with her. You need to learn more abt yourself before you can even consider « dating » someone else. I feel really really REALLY bad for your poor girlfriend.
Don’t stay together for kids. It’s usually better for them to not witness a bad marriage than to have two happy separated/divorced parents. Better to do it now when she’s younger than to see her parents unhappy and think that’s normal.
Also question: what was the blackmailer hoping to get out of him? Did he tell you what she wanted that he wouldn’t comply with? Is he willing to come clean enough to show you their conversation? Did she tell YOU why she was sending it to you?
Because… had she sent it just to you I could see her threatening that if he didn’t pick her – but that seems odd if they’ve only been an online dalliance… and it also doesn’t make sense that she’d disappear once you know.
But I can only think of one reason I would send that kind of content to someone’s partner AND their mom AND their other female relatives and that reason is because he was sending this stuff to me against my will and wouldn’t stop when asked. In which case you might be ascribing the term “creeper” To the wrong person.
Personally, if I was going to even consider staying in a relationship with your partner I would first demand he hand over his phone so I can go through all his messages and chats and dms – and I’d do it without warning so he can’t delete anything. I’d be looking for other instances, exactly how often this happens and exactly how these exchanges start (because I have my doubts about it being consensual). And if he’s not willing to have complete transparency I’d consider that an admission of further guilt and a sign he can’t be trusted.
But honestly, I read this and you comforting him and all my brain thinks is that your bf is getting off on sending non-consensual dick picks (aka he loves sexually harassing women) and one woman sent that content back so you’d all know what kind of guy he is.
Seriously OP, what was the message she sent you when she sent the content, because it seems really weird to me you left that out.
I think this is it. She sees him as just a friend, but admits maybe she is naive to his intentions. I see him as someone romantically interested in her.
Younare correct though, it's a good early relationship test to check how each of us deals with situations. Should I be saying or doing anything to support her through this?
It seems to me that you boyfriend wants more attention and more quality time spent with you, which is totally fair to ask! You had plans to try and spend time with him, but he never knew about them so he felt neglected. To him, it could be perceived as “wants to but never does”, as in you want to have these plans together with him but when it comes to actually doing them, it doesn’t happen.
Maybe try treating this as a do-over. What did you learn from your previous relationship with them? Does he enjoy quality time, words of affirmation or reassurance, does he have anxiety/depression, what do THEY enjoy to do with you, etc. Have you explained to him that you come from an uncomfortable family situation and have low contact with them, hence never talking about them? Maybe he perceives you as hiding information from him and might want you to open up more. There’s a lot of info missing from this post, but just some thoughts for introspection! Just try thinking from his perspective based on what you know about his own family situation, hobbies, inner thoughts, etc.
Also, disclaimer: depending on the reason y’all broke up initially, it could be feelings of insecurity or some other issues from the relationship that were never really hashed out.
Hope this helps! Sorry if it’s all over the place :, )
Hmmmm tough one, you seem like a really supportive and loving partner so I don't think your being unhinged here or anything. It's hard to tell jealousy from intuition. All I can suggest is to ask her if she can still have a close friendship with him aswell as prioritising other friends and having boundaries (within reason) that make you feel comfortable. And straight up ask her to include you more!
You can do this, set healthy boundaries and if people cross them then that's their karma not yours X you got this bro
I understand that, I do think that is very different though – firstly it's more natural to feel that way when the stakes are the health of your own child rather than a chess game. Your recommendations I reckon would be sound in the unlikely event that for some reason you were the only doctor on the planet although correct me if I'm wrong – it's more a case of having the certainty.
Just to put the rating in perspective for chess – I am probably about as good as OP (the husband), which is good enough to crush pretty much anyone who isn't really into chess and doesn't or never has played regularly in their life.
Playing someone of OPs wife's rating I would myself would get crushed – maybe one draw and 29 losses out of 30 games like the husband! In fact she is so good that there are players who would crush me who would themselves get crushed by the wife.
I think it's just the nature of the game, you can't get bailed out by lucky dice rolls or cards dealt, and any situation that is new to a kid an experience player probably has faced hundreds or thousands of times.
Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it. I will definitely have a conversation with him and hopefully something changes. This is the only thing I’ve ever had an issue with so of course I want to try and go about it the right way thank you again
At this point it's indefinite. We planned to move back together at one point, but no sooner than a couple of years. It really depends on our jobs, plus I will probably move abroad sometime in the future and I'm not sure if he will be able to follow me.
Yes she did. She just kept sending me these tiktoks to atleast stay in touch. I was just thinking that maybe she kind of “settled” for me because there was no other guy but then again there was that guy she already rejected. Maybe I AM just overthinking.
You and your wife aside, do you think that’s a good environment for kids to grow up in? Right now, that’s pretty much their own point of reference for how to behave, so they’ll grow up thinking that however you guys are, is how it’s done.
Is that what you want their lives to look like, do you want them to think that’s how relationships work?
Ask yourself this OP – Your parents engrained into you that showing emotions as a man is wrong. Your gf has engrained in you that showing your emotions is wrong.
Deep down you seem to acknowledge that this is wrong and believe you should be able to safely show your emotions around people that are supposed to love you. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.
Now – if you have a son with this woman – will you be okay with her engraining this toxic mindset that boys/men shouldn't show emotions? Is that what you'd want for your son? Give up and submit to this stupidity because “a lot of people” think like this?
Or do you want to be with someone who will allow you to break that cycle and be part of the change?
No matter how much you try and convince yourself that she's wonderful and supportive – she's not. She makes fun of you and ridicules you at your weakest moments. That's not what someone who loves and supports you does. I'm sorry you've been brainwashed to believe it is. You can't force someone to change their point of view.
What a horribly dismissive and invalidating thing to hear, from your own mother. That stung my heart, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you at least have have your brother, he's the only one that's been on your side Going no contact with the rest sounds like the best thing for your sanity and well-being. I hope your sister gets free of the fog one day soon, as no one deserves to be abused.
You and you wife need to have a constructive conversation. Ask her how she feels about it and then share how you feel (uncomfortable and whatever else). Tell her what you'd prefer to happen (i.e. you both distancing yourselves from this friend). If she disagrees, you'll have to respect her decision. What you do with that, though, is up to you. At the end of the day, are you okay with her keeping this friend in her life? If not, maybe some other changes need to happen.
I would definitely like this fix this because it’s a pattern that i have noticed in many different scenarios is my life where i act emotionally to situation that rationality is key. I’m not mentally strong enough to give him support and it kills me lol
After he tried to kiss her once, she should have told him off and found another partner, not waited for him to try to kiss her again. Stop trying to gaslight OP on this
I feel exhausted & crowded reading this & your replies, & I don’t even know you. First off, you have no rights to this child. She isn’t a toy that her parents have to share. She’s a human being & at her age, her parents have complete control over who is in her life. Second, the way you blame your DIL for this & never even mention your son is beyond annoying. Is your son the baby’s father? Then he has equal say on who has access to his daughter, & it doesn’t sound like he’s advocating at all for you. You might ask yourself why your child, who knows you better than your DIL, is not on your side. Since this is an advice sub, my advice to you is to back way off. Visit your son & his family when you are invited. Ask them if there is anything you can do to help, & if they don’t want your help, take no for an answer. This will be hard, but maybe if you demonstrate that you respect your son & DIL’s authority as parents, they might let you in. You have to re-set the relationship & start over as a more laid back respectful grandparent who respects their limits.
Ok so just literally say that. ‘Boyfriend, I heard about PieceOfShit getting beaten up and that you did it. I’ve hesitated to bring it up because honestly I’m still not ready to talk about what happened with him when sober but I just want you to know I know about it and what you did means a lot to me’
Well I was downvoted for asking “why is this yikes” which was a legitimate question. No clue why that's so unpopular. Someone actually answered me and I said “Oh, ok, checks out. Thanks for answering.” Didn't need all the people tearing me apart.
My other downvote is over the use of the word “elderly” which is what it is. Yes, I admit I have no evidence of that. I was merely trying to spin this guy in a different light. I got people in here saying this is “emotional incest” (whatever that is) when as far as anyone knows, he's just a good dood looking out for his mom. There's literally no evidence of anything else in that original post (which is when I posted – I was 2nd post on this entire thread). There's no evidence that he's some emotionally stunted goon who can't take care of himself. All we know is – his mom is more important to him than his girlfriend. That sucks for her, but does that make him a bad guy?
I'm being “downvoted” for stupid shit. And I'm not trying to “be right” only point out that everyone is coming at this with huge amounts of prejudice. I'm just reading the OP's post at face value. Guy takes care of his mom. Shame on him? How dare he take care of the woman who raised him! What a horrible person he is! This is sick! Emotional incest!
Come on. Meet me halfway. LOL There's no evidence to say any of the things people are claiming about him just like there's no evidence his mom is elderly or disabled.
Block him and move on – I feel like you’re dating my ex. That girl knows you exist, now you know she exists.
It won’t get better, he won’t change, and even if she broke up with him, he still will cheat, just with someone else. He’s no ones friend, he’s doing no one any favors, he’s stroking his ego, and the sooner you let go the easier it will be.
Run as fast as you can as far as you can and don’t look back – assume he’s done this multiple times before.
Please break up. My ex I just broke up with was like you (less extreme though) and I felt like shit all the time, rejected all the time. it was one of the reasons i ended things. sometimes i just needed a cuddle cause i was having a bad day and he'd say no and it made me feel 10x worse. you are not compatible, and that's okay!
I wonder if all this is new behavior for if these issues of holding resentments, not being physically caring and non-empathetic are recent or always been there before you got married?
There is that go-to advice of going to see a marriage counselor but usually the man is resistant to that process. Have you floated that by him?
If you don't have trust that your partner is supportive of you then that destroys any emotional intimacy in the relationship.
Break up!!
Please don’t be offended : You didn’t lose out in the quincenera department , you lost out on the mother department. Your mom sounds like she is very strict on you and you fall below her standards. And if you met them, she would raise them. I don’t know if your mom is being malicious or she truly thinks that being hard on you as a parent will help you later on life. Some parents don’t know how to show affection beyond tough love. She isn’t responsible for your cousin so she is more relaxed around her. I don’t think it has anything to do with you. I think it was how your mom was raised and this is the only thing she knows. Trying to teach that love isn’t supposed to be “earned” by a child’s “good” behavior is like teaching an abuela to apologize (encanto reference). So what that means for you, is that you might lose out on some life’s experiences because of how your mom is. But I think you should have a deeper conversation with your mom about wanting to bond with her and how important those bonding experiences are to you. How you want to go through life with each other by the side. And possibly speak to her why she has such high standards for you. Tell her flat out, how do you display your love for me?
Too bad because you need it now dude
That's kinda how karma works. You really hurt her when you cheated on her. In your case, karma waited until you had developed a greater bond to your girlfriend before it came to collect on your debt. Now you're getting back what you have tenfold.
It is not youre fault. You have done nothing wrong. Call the police, that is a threat of domestic violence and murder. Call the police. If the DA won't prosecute get a restraining order. If he violates that a certain amount of times (different depending on where you are) he can get jail time. He is toxic asf and you need to het him out of your life. If you feel unsafe where you are ask a trusted close friend and/or family member to come round to your place. You cannot blame yourself. You need him out your life.
I have always peed in the shower even with my partners present (showering with me or not) It has never been an issue/ First wife even peed with me on occasion.
Question: other than reducing his text messaging with the woman he cheated on you with, what has he actually done to regain your trust? It looks like he's barely reduced contact at all, other than not texting as much. Another question: do you feel like he is showing you any level of respect right now? Additionally, are you happy to have this swept under the carpet so quickly, as it has been? If not, what are you doing to make sure he is being accountable for his actions? Finally, why are you accepting him complaining about not feeling trusted right now? That's the whole point, you don't trust him! He needs to be regaining that trust!
I stand corrected .
Hi. I'm a pregnant woman. They can absolutely do paternity testing via a blood test now and it is non-invasive and won't harm the baby. She's got no reason to draw this out.
Break up with her. You need to learn more abt yourself before you can even consider « dating » someone else. I feel really really REALLY bad for your poor girlfriend.
Don’t stay together for kids. It’s usually better for them to not witness a bad marriage than to have two happy separated/divorced parents. Better to do it now when she’s younger than to see her parents unhappy and think that’s normal.
Find a lawyer now.
Also question: what was the blackmailer hoping to get out of him? Did he tell you what she wanted that he wouldn’t comply with? Is he willing to come clean enough to show you their conversation? Did she tell YOU why she was sending it to you?
Because… had she sent it just to you I could see her threatening that if he didn’t pick her – but that seems odd if they’ve only been an online dalliance… and it also doesn’t make sense that she’d disappear once you know.
But I can only think of one reason I would send that kind of content to someone’s partner AND their mom AND their other female relatives and that reason is because he was sending this stuff to me against my will and wouldn’t stop when asked. In which case you might be ascribing the term “creeper” To the wrong person.
Personally, if I was going to even consider staying in a relationship with your partner I would first demand he hand over his phone so I can go through all his messages and chats and dms – and I’d do it without warning so he can’t delete anything. I’d be looking for other instances, exactly how often this happens and exactly how these exchanges start (because I have my doubts about it being consensual). And if he’s not willing to have complete transparency I’d consider that an admission of further guilt and a sign he can’t be trusted.
But honestly, I read this and you comforting him and all my brain thinks is that your bf is getting off on sending non-consensual dick picks (aka he loves sexually harassing women) and one woman sent that content back so you’d all know what kind of guy he is.
Seriously OP, what was the message she sent you when she sent the content, because it seems really weird to me you left that out.
I think this is it. She sees him as just a friend, but admits maybe she is naive to his intentions. I see him as someone romantically interested in her.
Younare correct though, it's a good early relationship test to check how each of us deals with situations. Should I be saying or doing anything to support her through this?
It seems to me that you boyfriend wants more attention and more quality time spent with you, which is totally fair to ask! You had plans to try and spend time with him, but he never knew about them so he felt neglected. To him, it could be perceived as “wants to but never does”, as in you want to have these plans together with him but when it comes to actually doing them, it doesn’t happen.
Maybe try treating this as a do-over. What did you learn from your previous relationship with them? Does he enjoy quality time, words of affirmation or reassurance, does he have anxiety/depression, what do THEY enjoy to do with you, etc. Have you explained to him that you come from an uncomfortable family situation and have low contact with them, hence never talking about them? Maybe he perceives you as hiding information from him and might want you to open up more. There’s a lot of info missing from this post, but just some thoughts for introspection! Just try thinking from his perspective based on what you know about his own family situation, hobbies, inner thoughts, etc.
Also, disclaimer: depending on the reason y’all broke up initially, it could be feelings of insecurity or some other issues from the relationship that were never really hashed out.
Hope this helps! Sorry if it’s all over the place :, )
If he's not interested in you, why are you staying?
You are reading so much into this. Your advice seems far more unhealthy than his nightly wanks. His s/o is being unreasonable.
Ice stew got me
Hmmmm tough one, you seem like a really supportive and loving partner so I don't think your being unhinged here or anything. It's hard to tell jealousy from intuition. All I can suggest is to ask her if she can still have a close friendship with him aswell as prioritising other friends and having boundaries (within reason) that make you feel comfortable. And straight up ask her to include you more!
You can do this, set healthy boundaries and if people cross them then that's their karma not yours X you got this bro
I understand that, I do think that is very different though – firstly it's more natural to feel that way when the stakes are the health of your own child rather than a chess game. Your recommendations I reckon would be sound in the unlikely event that for some reason you were the only doctor on the planet although correct me if I'm wrong – it's more a case of having the certainty.
Just to put the rating in perspective for chess – I am probably about as good as OP (the husband), which is good enough to crush pretty much anyone who isn't really into chess and doesn't or never has played regularly in their life.
Playing someone of OPs wife's rating I would myself would get crushed – maybe one draw and 29 losses out of 30 games like the husband! In fact she is so good that there are players who would crush me who would themselves get crushed by the wife.
I think it's just the nature of the game, you can't get bailed out by lucky dice rolls or cards dealt, and any situation that is new to a kid an experience player probably has faced hundreds or thousands of times.
Thank you for the comment I really appreciate it. I will definitely have a conversation with him and hopefully something changes. This is the only thing I’ve ever had an issue with so of course I want to try and go about it the right way thank you again
At this point it's indefinite. We planned to move back together at one point, but no sooner than a couple of years. It really depends on our jobs, plus I will probably move abroad sometime in the future and I'm not sure if he will be able to follow me.
Yes she did. She just kept sending me these tiktoks to atleast stay in touch. I was just thinking that maybe she kind of “settled” for me because there was no other guy but then again there was that guy she already rejected. Maybe I AM just overthinking.
I agree. I think my boyfriend didnt want me to think he knows so he can talk to her for his ego though. Kinda cringe.
Yeah, I mean her dming and texting him everyday…literally making moves.
You and your wife aside, do you think that’s a good environment for kids to grow up in? Right now, that’s pretty much their own point of reference for how to behave, so they’ll grow up thinking that however you guys are, is how it’s done.
Is that what you want their lives to look like, do you want them to think that’s how relationships work?
If he's really that deathly allergic, like you or him have claimed. This is not gonna work out. He can get into anaphylactic shock.
So either the allergies aren't that deathly after all, or you're just waiting for the inevitable. Best of luck. I hope the cat ends up somewhere nice.
Lady, that’s a lot of words for your man wanted to stay hard despite whatever issues he’s going through
And if you think going after him is going to help him open up, think again
A person twice your age in a position of authority.
Absolutely predatory.
No. Make sure you can trust him before you do.
This.
I'm pretty sure your brother could have checked dates with you before booking and seen the issue, but because he's the golden child didn't care to.
Go enjoy your spotlight!
Ask yourself this OP – Your parents engrained into you that showing emotions as a man is wrong. Your gf has engrained in you that showing your emotions is wrong.
Deep down you seem to acknowledge that this is wrong and believe you should be able to safely show your emotions around people that are supposed to love you. Otherwise you wouldn't be posting here.
Now – if you have a son with this woman – will you be okay with her engraining this toxic mindset that boys/men shouldn't show emotions? Is that what you'd want for your son? Give up and submit to this stupidity because “a lot of people” think like this?
Or do you want to be with someone who will allow you to break that cycle and be part of the change?
No matter how much you try and convince yourself that she's wonderful and supportive – she's not. She makes fun of you and ridicules you at your weakest moments. That's not what someone who loves and supports you does. I'm sorry you've been brainwashed to believe it is. You can't force someone to change their point of view.
Don't be part of this toxic cycle.
“get over it and to let go of my grudge.”
What a horribly dismissive and invalidating thing to hear, from your own mother. That stung my heart, I'm so sorry. I'm so glad you at least have have your brother, he's the only one that's been on your side Going no contact with the rest sounds like the best thing for your sanity and well-being. I hope your sister gets free of the fog one day soon, as no one deserves to be abused.
You and you wife need to have a constructive conversation. Ask her how she feels about it and then share how you feel (uncomfortable and whatever else). Tell her what you'd prefer to happen (i.e. you both distancing yourselves from this friend). If she disagrees, you'll have to respect her decision. What you do with that, though, is up to you. At the end of the day, are you okay with her keeping this friend in her life? If not, maybe some other changes need to happen.
I would definitely like this fix this because it’s a pattern that i have noticed in many different scenarios is my life where i act emotionally to situation that rationality is key. I’m not mentally strong enough to give him support and it kills me lol
After he tried to kiss her once, she should have told him off and found another partner, not waited for him to try to kiss her again. Stop trying to gaslight OP on this
Umm. Leave???? Seems pretty obvious.
I feel exhausted & crowded reading this & your replies, & I don’t even know you. First off, you have no rights to this child. She isn’t a toy that her parents have to share. She’s a human being & at her age, her parents have complete control over who is in her life. Second, the way you blame your DIL for this & never even mention your son is beyond annoying. Is your son the baby’s father? Then he has equal say on who has access to his daughter, & it doesn’t sound like he’s advocating at all for you. You might ask yourself why your child, who knows you better than your DIL, is not on your side. Since this is an advice sub, my advice to you is to back way off. Visit your son & his family when you are invited. Ask them if there is anything you can do to help, & if they don’t want your help, take no for an answer. This will be hard, but maybe if you demonstrate that you respect your son & DIL’s authority as parents, they might let you in. You have to re-set the relationship & start over as a more laid back respectful grandparent who respects their limits.
Ok so just literally say that. ‘Boyfriend, I heard about PieceOfShit getting beaten up and that you did it. I’ve hesitated to bring it up because honestly I’m still not ready to talk about what happened with him when sober but I just want you to know I know about it and what you did means a lot to me’
I have the guys name, added him on my Snapchat and I’m half tempted to contact him myself and ask about it.
Well I was downvoted for asking “why is this yikes” which was a legitimate question. No clue why that's so unpopular. Someone actually answered me and I said “Oh, ok, checks out. Thanks for answering.” Didn't need all the people tearing me apart.
My other downvote is over the use of the word “elderly” which is what it is. Yes, I admit I have no evidence of that. I was merely trying to spin this guy in a different light. I got people in here saying this is “emotional incest” (whatever that is) when as far as anyone knows, he's just a good dood looking out for his mom. There's literally no evidence of anything else in that original post (which is when I posted – I was 2nd post on this entire thread). There's no evidence that he's some emotionally stunted goon who can't take care of himself. All we know is – his mom is more important to him than his girlfriend. That sucks for her, but does that make him a bad guy?
I'm being “downvoted” for stupid shit. And I'm not trying to “be right” only point out that everyone is coming at this with huge amounts of prejudice. I'm just reading the OP's post at face value. Guy takes care of his mom. Shame on him? How dare he take care of the woman who raised him! What a horrible person he is! This is sick! Emotional incest!
Come on. Meet me halfway. LOL There's no evidence to say any of the things people are claiming about him just like there's no evidence his mom is elderly or disabled.
Because he has no love for his son and found it easier to just pay off his parents in exchange for taking care of him.
Block him and move on – I feel like you’re dating my ex. That girl knows you exist, now you know she exists.
It won’t get better, he won’t change, and even if she broke up with him, he still will cheat, just with someone else. He’s no ones friend, he’s doing no one any favors, he’s stroking his ego, and the sooner you let go the easier it will be.
Run as fast as you can as far as you can and don’t look back – assume he’s done this multiple times before.
Please break up. My ex I just broke up with was like you (less extreme though) and I felt like shit all the time, rejected all the time. it was one of the reasons i ended things. sometimes i just needed a cuddle cause i was having a bad day and he'd say no and it made me feel 10x worse. you are not compatible, and that's okay!
I wonder if all this is new behavior for if these issues of holding resentments, not being physically caring and non-empathetic are recent or always been there before you got married?
There is that go-to advice of going to see a marriage counselor but usually the man is resistant to that process. Have you floated that by him?
If you don't have trust that your partner is supportive of you then that destroys any emotional intimacy in the relationship.