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Date: October 13, 2022
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How old is he? More importantly, why are you still with a guy who insults your appearance and uses that as an excuse to not be intimate with you?
A healthy relationship consists of communication, and not saying that the SO is 'too fat'.
Dump the man-child. You deserve better.
This man has no intention of ever marrying you.
? Only “every 2-4 days”…. Oh man to be young again.
Did you read the part where for 7 hours she denied his calls, refused to reply once to his messages? How naked writing “hey babe, how have you been keeping? I miss you. I'm with X at the moment so I'm sorry if I can't reply to you often.” Like, this shit took me 10 seconds to write. She can't fin 10 seconds in 7 hours or a half a minute phone call to reassure him? And he's the asshole that is suffocating her and needs therapy? What the fucking fuck are you guys on about? If you don't feel the need to have a text every now and then from your partner that's ok, but don't expect everyone to be ok with this.
Well, he is a loser, but this is what happens when you marry a man old enough to be your dad.
Could be idk. I'm just guessing while I'm sitting here naked in a bean bag eating cheetos
If you are being together with someone on the premise that they need to change most things about themselves for you to be happy…break up. Honestly. He appears to be happy with his life and even if he wasn’t – again being together with someone to ‘fix’ them, is also bad. Just leave? He sounds very sweet, but just not for you.
Good questions. I probably wouldn't have the heart to do it to her because I know how it ends but the guy I would have no problems with. I'm near positive it's her bosses husband. But I will try to get a name from her tomorrow when she wakes up.
She is exploiting you, obviously, look at the age gap – she knows that you won't know any better (and that's ok because you're only 23!!)
Being pro death penalty is not a conservative viewpoint. If anything conservatives are the ones creating and supporting the majority of Bills proposed to abolish the death penalty in recent years.
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I’m a geneticist so I recognize that I have a skewed perspective on DNA sometimes.
That said, I see a lot on Reddit about men demanding DNA tests on their children. I have no problem with that! Cool, we have the technology, it’s the definition of non-invasive, as long as you have the money go nuts.
What drives me crazy is when they come out and say “I told her I wanted a DNA test!” Because, no, she doesn’t need to be involved here! She knows the DNA, she has no interest. The baby is nominally half yours, you do the test!
It’s really the idea that “I want this so mommy needs to do it for meeeeeee” that outrages me. You want it? You do it. She doesn’t need to be involved at all.
And you’re right, it’s the ex girlfriend being involved that’s getting me here – it’s “I want this so mommy do it for me” but mommy isn’t even his current partner! So he basically found a way for male learned helplessness to be worse.
I’m not even clear that OP is having the issue with the test itself, or if it’s just the involvement of the ex, in which case – same, girl! The test is whatever, the ex is a problem.
I believe you think your relationship is solid; there’s another slight possibility that she’s just a good liar
Judging by your Reddit history, I think you’re lying in hopes that the police search your phone and that this post will validate your side of the story. Lots of comments about wanting to sexually assault and beat women. Either that or you’re trying to do some sort of social experiment seeing if people really care about male victims in order to invalidate female ones. Your story doesn’t even really make sense. Did the police not see the blood on the back of your head? Or a broken vase anywhere?
I’ve tried all of this. I’ve also straight up asked her what I can do to get her in the mood. She just says when I’m in the mood I’m in the mood
She’s psycho!
Everyone has their strengths – it’s just not one of his. I and most my girlfriends are the organisers too. My husband is good at other things. I think it’s how couples compliment each other.
Yep. It is. It reduces the relationship on sexual relations and avoids emotional investment.
Gifting a dildo to your sexually adventurous long tim gf who let you know she likes dildos is fine, giving a dildo to your short term gf you don't know much and are unaware that she doesn't like it is a NiceGuy™ move who'll claim she's ungrateful when she's not happy because it was such a thoughtful gift.
The person right above you said lawyer…
It’s not that she doesn’t like him watching porn it’s the fact that she has a physical reaction to him watching it that’s really the problem. She and every other woman who feels this way should get help to be confident and learn to love themselves.
Also you and other women need to know that men can love you and still jerk off to other women and still be loyal and in love with you. Y’all reduce us to who we want to fuck and then say we aren’t shit for not meeting a impossible goal of loyalty without ever really trying ti understand sexuality for men is as nuanced as it is for women. Also trying to control what media your partner watches, whether it’s porn or TV or music is still controlling and toxic.
They marry the girl they love when they decide they’re ready for marriage.
So, both.
Well, she is def cheating on you. Sorry but that’s the truth. You could do so so much better. And it sounds like you need a lot of trust when dating a girl who works there but she’s clearly cheating.
Thanks! I think we’d welcome any suggestion that is within our boundaries of monogamy
Tbh I'm the same way, people assume I'm stern just from looking at me and I care WAAAAY too much about what other people think of me so I'm constantly using my brain power to overanalyze other people's micro-expressions and the things they say to me instead of enjoying the moment. If my boyfriend tries to make some innocent fun of me/ roast me, my first instinct is to ask “what did you mean by that” or “do you really think that of me?”. I used to take it very seriously for some reason. I don't do it as much as I used to though; I've learned to relax a little.
I actively try to pull away from these behaviors and I'm learning to laugh at myself more. I learned if you take yourself so seriously all the time, you become somewhat of a stressful presence to others. Like other people can subconsciously feel your anxiety even if you don't say anything.
Not really suggesting this, but one thing I do that chills me out a lot is partake in the devil's lettuce. That more than anything has helped me be able to let go of certain insecurities and anxieties in the moment and just go for the dumbest jokes, which definitely has lead to some of the best laughing fits with friends and boyfriends.
I don't think you have any chance of “fixing” their relationship. Your husband witnessed his father-in-law strike you. There is no forgiving that in his mind, and I can't blame him. Did he go a bit far? Sure. But, all things considered, your father was more wrong, by far, than your husband.
Your father struck you because of a choice you made as an adult, that didn't affect him at all, that didn't harm you or anyone else. I don't see how you could hope to forgive him, much less miss him. I think therapy could be good for you (and your husband).
UpdateMe!
No he hasn’t but he yells really loudly and sometimes has done things like once I spent too much money and he didn’t let me have meat for a week
No he hasn’t but he yells really loudly and sometimes has done things like once I spent too much money and he didn’t let me have meat for a week
Thank you so much!
Finally an answer to the point and not judgaemental.
Thank you so much!
Finally an answer to the point and not judgaemental.
Thank you so much!
Finally an answer to the point and not judgaemental.
When was the last time you broke up?
You are ? correct, there have been others, I left that part out cause it only make it more real sounding that I’ll never be the only one.
We were very good friends prior to dating, so that’s why it was spoken about, and I never said anything poor about my ex, just that sex was really painful 99% of the time because he was too big.
And I wish men could get their egos in check because women tell you too big of a penis hurts for a reason, because it’s the truth. I would take a comfortable size penis over a too big of one ANY day. I have actively avoided sex for a decade because it was too big. I wish men cared about the comfort and pleasure of women more than their own egos.
Giving someone a chance to turn it around, and they do. Hopefully they keep this up for you OP, you deserve it. Remember to stick up for yourself, if he falls back into it remember you can do it without him. I hope and pray he sticks with the plan and stays the straight and narrow.
I’m not talking about the dressing up part, I’m talking about how you feel about the relationship depending on which day of the cycle you are at.
Yeah, it's a
OP,
YOU want 50/50 and she wants say 60/40 with her paying more. As long as you make her understand that your ok with the 50/50, i really don't see the problem. I understand that we men want to pull our own weight, My wife makes twice as much as me and she never made me feel inadequate at all. I felt the same way as you did, once we really sat down and talked about it, it just came naturally.
Think about it another way, you both work and you have one account and its joint, all bills are paid out of this account. You will still be paying less then your 50%. If you can handle this then move forward, if you cannot then you need to rethink things unless she agrees to the 50/50.
Lol, you're assuming that he can't find someone else to have sex with. When you don't even know the man in real life. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense doesn't it?
You proceed by ending a friendship with a racist bigot. If you don't, you're validating their position.
Honestly I don’t know. Maybe he’s trying to cope, or maybe he isn’t as hurt as you thought he was and was perfectly satisfied with just having sex with you.
Either way, I advise you not to have sex with him again. If anything else, it’s a gesture of genuine remorse. You are showing him that you aren’t going to risk hurting him again just to have sex.
OP I am so sorry you were hurt by the hoe & lost your baby. Digital hugs & prayers to both of you.
I suggest you start legal proceedings – go to your HR & request for compensation due to work safety breach as you were assaulted by a coworker, in the office & during work hours.
Go & attend your graduation, to mark the start of a new beginning in your life, to move forward after grieving.
I hope they both get their karma soon & burn in he*l!
To the same extent, you knew she despised your hobbies. Unless she suddenly grew a disdain for them. Kinda sounds like you're both hoping for each other to change their likes and dislikes for each other. That sometimes happens but usually doesn't.
Just stay away and block him
He lied to you there is no point in contacting him to verify something.
Don’t be a home-wrecker
You’re conflating two very different things. Disappointment in a gift and him not pulling his weight with the kids and house.
With the gift. I dunno. Did you tell him you wanted a gift, cake, happy bday song, etc in addition to lunch, dinner, and a movie? That seems pretty over the top to me (44F). If that’s what you want you have to ask for it. I’m a pretty thoughtful person but I’d have called a nice dinner and a movie more than sufficient. That said, if he used to do those things and thus is out of character then sure, perhaps it’s worrisome.
As for participating in the parenting duties—your full time job are the kids/home. If you were working outside the home (or WFH with kids in daycare), you’d still be a mom when you come home at night. And he should be a dad. You didn’t sign up to do 100% of the parenting.
Why was he gone 6 or 7 nights? Business stuff or playing with his buddies? Both of you should get a night off here or there and swap days on the weekend so each of you has one early morning with the kids while the other sleeps in. It’s simply not fair for him to consider his day job his only responsibility. One night out with friends for each of and a date night at least every other week would make sense to me.
You sound frustrated and resentful and he sounds full of excuses with an inflated sense of what he’s actually contributing as a parent. I’d pursue therapy together. This isn’t sustainable.
I dunno. I (44F) work from home and and do most of the housework. Laundry during the week, cooking, etc and then the bigger clean stuff and grocery shop usually on Sat morning. I would be pissed if my partner expected that I stay home every night with the kiddo and dogs while he was out playing. I usually am gone a couple nights a week after dinner for my hobby or volunteer work and we kind of split up our weekends.
Therapy. I just don’t think you’re going to get anywhere doing what you’ve been doing so far.
Yeah I mean I get it somewhat, but people change. She is approaching 30 and women's bodies goes through a lot of change in their 30's.
Yeah I mean I get it somewhat, but people change. She is approaching 30 and women's bodies goes through a lot of change in their 30's.
Girl I'm sorry to be That person, but everytime that I see someone post here with a major red flag and say that everything else is perfect… NO! everything is not perfect!
That is really awful that he would say a racist thing about your latino upbringing and just shutting down the conversation without even letting you talk about it.
He has made his choice and you need to decide if you want to stay and let it go or if marriage and children important to you and find someone else. Don't continue on thinking that he will change his mind, it's just going to end in more hurt years down the road.
19 year olds, and 23 year olds, are still developing and learning about the world. I recommend waiting until she's at least 25.
You and her seem very immature, and that's going to create conflict.
You're going to want to go with the tried and true retort of “creative differences”. If it's good enough for performers since the dawn of the arts it'll be good enough for your friends.
I guess I am just scared. I get really nervous about random things, and he is always so patient with me. He never yells at me.
You got bigger problems than moving in together. You should check that controlling behavior as its concerning that you’ve only been dating for 5 months.
Uhhh…. Ima be honest. You got some growing up to do man. It just happens on your own time. Find things you like to do for you.
Well, 100 USD isn't much, and I'd bet more on my own take, but thanks for a clear headed response
I’m going to comment properly later but I HAVE TO ASK why are y’all ok fucking with the dog in the room!!?!??
I have NEVER UNDERSTOOD when people do this. The smells of sex alone would probably make the dog curious and be all sniffing and uggghhh!!!
Unless he lives in a studio there is no excuse for this ??