Lesson number 1 don’t play with your finances , the house is yours she will live in the house and her obligations are $X To on-line there, she does not get to OEN the houses do not play house with her is she insists , the only way her name should be on the house is if you have been married or she pays half the equity you have already invested in the home AND pays half of everything moving forward, understanding that when you break up half your home is Hers if she paid for it , don’t mess up your financial life for a partner or Bf/GF even worse
They romanticize being weak and hope you do not notice. Its selfish and its stupid. Eventually they learn that. Stay no contact and move on, you will be alright and you will find love again. Just dont respond or block them if you have to.
Sorry your relationship failed. Time to work on yourself, grow on this and then find someone who has the same values.
Should you note that in a journal or something so that you have evidence in case of future custody issues that he is still being inappropriate? What a gross human.
His response was “I have been ignoring you because what you said cut deep. Not only because you brought up something I don't know if I can control but you also know the root cause of it. I simply am at a loss for words. I still love you but I don't know how to proceed from here.”
I asked him if he was seeing another girl or thinking of divorce and he said:
“I would never cheat on a person, I know how painful that is 1st hand and wouldn't want that for anyone else. I'm not currently thinking about a divorce but I would seriously like us to go to therapy and for you to work on your outbursts.”
I get that completely about being able to have co workers without cheating. Millions of us do it every day. However, not everyone may think like you, and maybe partner is feeling a little bit wary of your friendship, and I’m in no way saying that it’s right, but that’s maybe the way he feels about it. We all have our insecurities.
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
I was hoping someone could give me advice on how long was too long to wait for that information, or perhaps how to ease his anxieties after having had some bad shit done to him. Clearly no one is interested in being actually helpful, however. They're just spamming “gee, that's unusual, HE'S GOING TO MURDER YOU” as if I'm an idiot who hasn't considered and dismissed that possibility. He has nothing to gain from catfishing me, since I'm broke and we're not currently doing much sex stuff. I'll demand to learn his last name before I come to see him–which I will do sooner rather than later, we've agreed–so the jig will be up eventually. And if he has a criminal background he can't be a lawyer, so that's not a charade he could put up for very long.
Definitely do NOT validate this guy by telling him you ever had any sort of feelings for him!
If you think you can move past this for the sake of your friend group I would just say “thanks for saying that” in response to his ‘apology’ after a day or two or silence, and keep him a little more arms length from now on.
I cannot suffer this kind of ignorant bullshit, honestly. “Wowee zowee I didn't know taking psychedelics for several days straight could make someone talk loudly about something weird!” But the psychedelics aren't the reason he's suicidal it's very clear there's a crisis,, you are just steamrolling over that with “I didn't know psychedelics make people act this way” while you puff away on dispensary weed (if you can still afford it lol) and express concern about him crashing his car by calling him cringy. Literally, you help him by staying the fuck away, dude. I don't know what else you want me to tell you.
Did you remove something his dad said about men not having emotions? Or maybe it was in a comment. Could've sworn I read that and something about a culture group, if that's true then you should be aware of this complex because it's not uncommon for someone in that position to start cracking and their emotions show in a way that's over the top.
You absolutely do not ever need to marry and procreate with this man if he grew up hearing that and your response to a breakdown of his is posting his dirty laundry on Reddit with judgmental comments. There is no kid on this planet that deserves to grow up in the environment that would certainly create.
It sounds like he'll have another run in with the law and end up in the psych ward or something. Again, you help by staying out of it. If your anxiety is bad, try a different strain. Hth.
It's your call, but I'd cut the guy a little slack. Living with someone who has mental issues can be exhausting, and if he jokes as a coping mechanism he may have just stumbled over the line on accident.
If you were angry about this, I doubt any explanation or apology would have passed muster in the moment. Does he provide you emotional support, normally? Has he been there for you even though you've had “bad days”. You say yourself that the last year has been tough – do you not think it was tough for him, too?
THIS. I had a friend who had a work wife and he was happily married with three kids while she was happily single after a bad breakup. They called each other work wife/husband but not only was it definitely not flirty, they acted more like siblings.
We are not the type to argue. Even tho it feels like he tried to turn the table when I was the one whose feeling were hurt. At some point we had a situation where I wanted to order some sweets and he joked about how I was obsessed with food. He knew that I had anotexia at some point and now I excercise almost daily. He did apologize but again why would he say something like that if he actually understood me and my emotions towards food?
I’m sorry but anyone thinking it’s appropriate to jerk off in a normal work setting is wrong. Unless you’re a porn star, you should not be masturbating at work.
I see this issue come up fairly regularly and the bottom line is that you’ve discussed how his porn use makes you feel, you’ve told him it’s negatively affecting your sex life and he’s still choosing to do it. Porn use should never be a priority or a first choice to regular intimacy with a partner.
I dated a porn addict and I sympathize with you bc i would feel absolutely gutted when my ex would spend hours in the bathroom with his phone, he’d even bring a baggy in so he could bring his phone in the shower. And he’d constantly turn me down for sex.
You need to have another convo with your bf about how you’re feeling again bc if he can’t even abstain while on the job, he has an addiction to it.
I honestly don’t know why my friends stopped talking to me, might have just been that I didn’t fit in since I’d only known them for a year at college. They just slowly stopped inviting me to things and took months to respond to my invites so I took that as a hint they weren’t interested in being friends with me gave up on trying to fit in to that group.
Reading back the studying in my room thing is moreso because I started shutting myself off from the world bc I was suddenly alone and too jaded to try and meet new people at that point, and honestly I could’ve made time for going to clubs or something but I just became pessimistic and gave up on trying to make new connections since none of the ones I made before lasted.
I don’t really wanna hook up with strangers. I never even thought about it until I found out she’d moved on so it’s not my genuine desire I think. Would want to date someone new seriously but I’ll give it time I think. I think I’m feeling more pressure since I’m in college and I feel like I’m missing out while everyone else is having so much fun and I’m just sitting indoors sad and tired.
Your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you hanging out with people of low moral character which would be 33-50% of the group. Hannah, the cheating guy and possibly the guy she kissed.
What he is afraid of is that if you get drunk or high, when your mind is muddled, someone might take advantage. And you not being of sound mind might do something stupid.
Tbh after hanging out on reddit for a while I've seen that this is not an uncommon relationship breaker. Your boyfriend wants to remove you from the situation so it doesn't happen which is understandable. I would agree that he doesn't trust you 100% but the main problem is that he has no trust for your coworkers and he has real reasons for that based on your story.
As someone nonbinary who goes by any pronouns, T is in the wrong here. Her heart was in the right place initially but she is being overbearing. There are people who think it “convenient” to refer to their NB partner as pronouns matching their assigned at birth gender because they really don't see them as nonbinary. But that isn't every instance and it's pretty messed up to make that kind of accusation of another person's partner when you know nothing. Your bf's identity and how they want to be referred to is their business. When he made it clear that he didn't mind it T should have dropped it and apologized.
She got defensive instead and went to him insisting he was someone being wronged to validate herself that she wasn't mistaken in framing you as a bigot, that is immature. You clearly care about your partner, if they told you and T (which was none of her business) they don't mind being referred to as your bf then that's what's matters.
Do you have an idea of where you both want that to be? How long you want the engagement? How much money you're both able to put down for a wedding (if you've having one)? What sort of debt you'll both be taking on? Are you guys getting a prenup?
Honestly? Just tell J to blow her buzz words like controlling and toxic out their ass. As far as controlling goes, they can't expect/force you to watch them walk head on into a train. The choice is there for them to make, but only so long. Then you'll make it easier by removing yourself as an option because you don't deserve to be back burnered for any moment spent on the ex.
Actually, yes. I feel like if I have complaints I’m being ungrateful. It’s never for my birthday or anything just randomly I’ll have a new purse. He buys his friends expensive gifts too but they seem to love it.
I should have just let him go but I wanted answers.
If she can’t gracefully accept that not everyone can afford to jump through all of her bridezilla hoops, then she is not a true friend. Many weddings these days have become out of control both financially and logistically as the bridal party is expected to shell out thousands of dollars and burn through limited vacation days in order to meet unreasonable demands.
Your priorities are your husband, child and household, not your friend’s wedding. She is asking too much of you. Don’t sabotage yourself to keep a friendship.
Tell him you've figured out just how to solve the problem. You can easily split the house work and he can get out of the house with this one simple trick. Get a fucking JOB!!!
I've said it before, but it bears repeating: comments on this sub recommend breaking up because people in healthy, well-adjusted relationships do not (feel the need to) ask strangers on the Almighty's internet for advice, and being alone is better than a bad relationship.
TL;DR: The sunk cost fallacy is real. Let's not encourage people to believe it.
OP, sweet angel, I get it. The allure can be strong because it’s like “wow I must be so incredible if he’s willing to step out on his wife for me” but DON’T BELIEVE IT. You are special, yes, but he’s literally looking for prey and he sees your sweet young self as the ideal target. I’d bet all the money I have that you aren’t the first he’s tried this on. Tell his wife asap and find a new teacher.
She tried to slap you after you forcibly stopped her from leaving. She tried to defend herself and your response wasn’t ‘holy shit, what did I just do?’, it was to try to to further assault her.
Yeaaaaah, not only are YTA, you’re an abusive one at that.
Why are you putting up with it? Do you think it's ok for him to speak to you like that when you've clearly asked him to stop? If you stay with him, this is your life because he will only get worse.
Why the fuck would you want to hang with some dude trying to fuck your girlfriend? And wtf with your girlfriend? She should have shut that shit down. There is no friendship to be had with a dude trying to fuck your girlfriend.
Nor with a bunch of sleazy ass friends encouraging said dude trying to fuck your girlfriend.
Yeahhhh, this just… is it possible she's hiding it because she's getting back together with him? Maybe…
Do I suspect that the dude who is totally fine sneaking on his girlfriends phone probably wouldn't have responded well to “we're doing this for the kids” – even if it's 100% true and innocent.
Find the elephant in the room, point at it and gentle bring it up:
Dad, I am sorry you are lonely. You need to form adult relationships with other men and women to discuss sexual matters. Therapist can also help.
I am neither. I am your daughter. Imagine grandma came to you and started telling you how other men didn’t want to have sex with grandma. Or grandma asking you about your sex life.
I find it disgusting that you keep trying to talk to me sexually. I am also really hurt that you are ignoring the many times I have already told you to stop talking about sex with me. It is deeply disrespectful.
As of today, every time you bring up sex, I will stop the conversation and leave.
And do that. Every time he brings up something sexual, immediately remind him he is crossing a boundary and hang up. Or walk away. Because you absolutely can teach old dogs new tricks.
A 13 year age gap for adults is big. A 13 year age gap when your partner hasn't fully developed is HUGE.
At 31 I would not date a 20 year old. Your twenties are a massive time in terms of development and growth. It sounds to me like her needs have evolved and, for whatever reason, you haven't been alive to them.
I am sorry your relationship has come to an end, it's always sad when that happens. Now would be a good time to reflect on ensuring you're alive to both your own wants and needs in a partner, and that you are able to communicate effectively enough that your future partner can make you alive to their wants and needs from you.
I had a female house mate. We’re married with kids now. Lol.
These videos were so helpful truly. Thank you
It’s still shitty as fuck to have sex with someone regularly when you don’t love them. I think that’ll hurt her regardless, easy breakup or not lol
You’re fucking his daughter dumbass; give him a fucking break for not rolling out the red carpet.
Lesson number 1 don’t play with your finances , the house is yours she will live in the house and her obligations are $X To on-line there, she does not get to OEN the houses do not play house with her is she insists , the only way her name should be on the house is if you have been married or she pays half the equity you have already invested in the home AND pays half of everything moving forward, understanding that when you break up half your home is Hers if she paid for it , don’t mess up your financial life for a partner or Bf/GF even worse
Would it bother you if he enjoyed sex with other women?
Plus another person said it’s not possible to convince yourself to have sex so my friend is lying.
u/PlentyMysterious3703, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
They romanticize being weak and hope you do not notice. Its selfish and its stupid. Eventually they learn that. Stay no contact and move on, you will be alright and you will find love again. Just dont respond or block them if you have to.
Sorry your relationship failed. Time to work on yourself, grow on this and then find someone who has the same values.
Of course you’re being petty. But it’s your party and your right.
u/whateverflevers, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Should you note that in a journal or something so that you have evidence in case of future custody issues that he is still being inappropriate? What a gross human.
Have him come over more. Get him his own pillow so he can share the bed with you and your husband.
I talked to him before he got into the shower.
His response was “I have been ignoring you because what you said cut deep. Not only because you brought up something I don't know if I can control but you also know the root cause of it. I simply am at a loss for words. I still love you but I don't know how to proceed from here.”
I asked him if he was seeing another girl or thinking of divorce and he said:
“I would never cheat on a person, I know how painful that is 1st hand and wouldn't want that for anyone else. I'm not currently thinking about a divorce but I would seriously like us to go to therapy and for you to work on your outbursts.”
No dude, too close. Best to do this far away from home.
No dude, too close. Best to do this far away from home.
I get that completely about being able to have co workers without cheating. Millions of us do it every day. However, not everyone may think like you, and maybe partner is feeling a little bit wary of your friendship, and I’m in no way saying that it’s right, but that’s maybe the way he feels about it. We all have our insecurities.
Hello /u/Mikaela2830,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
The only way I'd respond to his text is, “You just guaranteed you'll never see them again. I'm out.”
Then block him.
Then call a therapist to work on your self-esteem and body acceptance. You're beautiful.
The only way I'd respond to his text is, “You just guaranteed you'll never see them again. I'm out.”
Then block him.
Then call a therapist to work on your self-esteem and body acceptance. You're beautiful.
Okay buddy. You can continue in your own ignorance if that's what you prefer.
I was hoping someone could give me advice on how long was too long to wait for that information, or perhaps how to ease his anxieties after having had some bad shit done to him. Clearly no one is interested in being actually helpful, however. They're just spamming “gee, that's unusual, HE'S GOING TO MURDER YOU” as if I'm an idiot who hasn't considered and dismissed that possibility. He has nothing to gain from catfishing me, since I'm broke and we're not currently doing much sex stuff. I'll demand to learn his last name before I come to see him–which I will do sooner rather than later, we've agreed–so the jig will be up eventually. And if he has a criminal background he can't be a lawyer, so that's not a charade he could put up for very long.
Wtf are you people doing that your bathroom smells like shit? Do you just let it stew for hours?
How is it problematic? I outlined how it would fix the dilemma
Definitely do NOT validate this guy by telling him you ever had any sort of feelings for him!
If you think you can move past this for the sake of your friend group I would just say “thanks for saying that” in response to his ‘apology’ after a day or two or silence, and keep him a little more arms length from now on.
I cannot suffer this kind of ignorant bullshit, honestly. “Wowee zowee I didn't know taking psychedelics for several days straight could make someone talk loudly about something weird!” But the psychedelics aren't the reason he's suicidal it's very clear there's a crisis,, you are just steamrolling over that with “I didn't know psychedelics make people act this way” while you puff away on dispensary weed (if you can still afford it lol) and express concern about him crashing his car by calling him cringy. Literally, you help him by staying the fuck away, dude. I don't know what else you want me to tell you.
Did you remove something his dad said about men not having emotions? Or maybe it was in a comment. Could've sworn I read that and something about a culture group, if that's true then you should be aware of this complex because it's not uncommon for someone in that position to start cracking and their emotions show in a way that's over the top.
You absolutely do not ever need to marry and procreate with this man if he grew up hearing that and your response to a breakdown of his is posting his dirty laundry on Reddit with judgmental comments. There is no kid on this planet that deserves to grow up in the environment that would certainly create.
It sounds like he'll have another run in with the law and end up in the psych ward or something. Again, you help by staying out of it. If your anxiety is bad, try a different strain. Hth.
It's your call, but I'd cut the guy a little slack. Living with someone who has mental issues can be exhausting, and if he jokes as a coping mechanism he may have just stumbled over the line on accident.
If you were angry about this, I doubt any explanation or apology would have passed muster in the moment. Does he provide you emotional support, normally? Has he been there for you even though you've had “bad days”. You say yourself that the last year has been tough – do you not think it was tough for him, too?
Give the guy a break.
THIS. I had a friend who had a work wife and he was happily married with three kids while she was happily single after a bad breakup. They called each other work wife/husband but not only was it definitely not flirty, they acted more like siblings.
We are not the type to argue. Even tho it feels like he tried to turn the table when I was the one whose feeling were hurt. At some point we had a situation where I wanted to order some sweets and he joked about how I was obsessed with food. He knew that I had anotexia at some point and now I excercise almost daily. He did apologize but again why would he say something like that if he actually understood me and my emotions towards food?
I’m sorry but anyone thinking it’s appropriate to jerk off in a normal work setting is wrong. Unless you’re a porn star, you should not be masturbating at work.
I see this issue come up fairly regularly and the bottom line is that you’ve discussed how his porn use makes you feel, you’ve told him it’s negatively affecting your sex life and he’s still choosing to do it. Porn use should never be a priority or a first choice to regular intimacy with a partner.
I dated a porn addict and I sympathize with you bc i would feel absolutely gutted when my ex would spend hours in the bathroom with his phone, he’d even bring a baggy in so he could bring his phone in the shower. And he’d constantly turn me down for sex.
You need to have another convo with your bf about how you’re feeling again bc if he can’t even abstain while on the job, he has an addiction to it.
Yet you even stood by and watched A menace Z.
Then rightly reported A.
And now A got what he deserved you have got remorse?
A wrecked his life for the time being. All by himself. Because HE is who HE is.
You do you. Who YOU are has nothing to do with or how A is! No responsibility.
Why would you be reomantically involved with a guy threatening potential friends?
You seem to have your priorities all mixed up.
I honestly don’t know why my friends stopped talking to me, might have just been that I didn’t fit in since I’d only known them for a year at college. They just slowly stopped inviting me to things and took months to respond to my invites so I took that as a hint they weren’t interested in being friends with me gave up on trying to fit in to that group.
Reading back the studying in my room thing is moreso because I started shutting myself off from the world bc I was suddenly alone and too jaded to try and meet new people at that point, and honestly I could’ve made time for going to clubs or something but I just became pessimistic and gave up on trying to make new connections since none of the ones I made before lasted.
I don’t really wanna hook up with strangers. I never even thought about it until I found out she’d moved on so it’s not my genuine desire I think. Would want to date someone new seriously but I’ll give it time I think. I think I’m feeling more pressure since I’m in college and I feel like I’m missing out while everyone else is having so much fun and I’m just sitting indoors sad and tired.
Thanks for all the advice 🙂
Your boyfriend is uncomfortable with you hanging out with people of low moral character which would be 33-50% of the group. Hannah, the cheating guy and possibly the guy she kissed.
What he is afraid of is that if you get drunk or high, when your mind is muddled, someone might take advantage. And you not being of sound mind might do something stupid.
Tbh after hanging out on reddit for a while I've seen that this is not an uncommon relationship breaker. Your boyfriend wants to remove you from the situation so it doesn't happen which is understandable. I would agree that he doesn't trust you 100% but the main problem is that he has no trust for your coworkers and he has real reasons for that based on your story.
As someone nonbinary who goes by any pronouns, T is in the wrong here. Her heart was in the right place initially but she is being overbearing. There are people who think it “convenient” to refer to their NB partner as pronouns matching their assigned at birth gender because they really don't see them as nonbinary. But that isn't every instance and it's pretty messed up to make that kind of accusation of another person's partner when you know nothing. Your bf's identity and how they want to be referred to is their business. When he made it clear that he didn't mind it T should have dropped it and apologized.
She got defensive instead and went to him insisting he was someone being wronged to validate herself that she wasn't mistaken in framing you as a bigot, that is immature. You clearly care about your partner, if they told you and T (which was none of her business) they don't mind being referred to as your bf then that's what's matters.
Just marriage?
Do you have an idea of where you both want that to be? How long you want the engagement? How much money you're both able to put down for a wedding (if you've having one)? What sort of debt you'll both be taking on? Are you guys getting a prenup?
Honestly? Just tell J to blow her buzz words like controlling and toxic out their ass. As far as controlling goes, they can't expect/force you to watch them walk head on into a train. The choice is there for them to make, but only so long. Then you'll make it easier by removing yourself as an option because you don't deserve to be back burnered for any moment spent on the ex.
Actually, yes. I feel like if I have complaints I’m being ungrateful. It’s never for my birthday or anything just randomly I’ll have a new purse. He buys his friends expensive gifts too but they seem to love it.
I should have just let him go but I wanted answers.
Don’t tell him. It’s way too soon.
If she can’t gracefully accept that not everyone can afford to jump through all of her bridezilla hoops, then she is not a true friend. Many weddings these days have become out of control both financially and logistically as the bridal party is expected to shell out thousands of dollars and burn through limited vacation days in order to meet unreasonable demands.
Your priorities are your husband, child and household, not your friend’s wedding. She is asking too much of you. Don’t sabotage yourself to keep a friendship.
Tell him you've figured out just how to solve the problem. You can easily split the house work and he can get out of the house with this one simple trick. Get a fucking JOB!!!
Break up with him so he can find the Jewish wife he really wants
Sir, I say this with the utmost respect & sincerity, YOU NEED THERAPY. For you alone, not couples therapy because you ARE NOT a couple.
She cheats, you take her back. She cheats again (yes, she did), lies about it, you know she’s lying & find excuses to believe her.
All the while, you are embarrassed to be seen with her & would rather socialize alone (your words).
Twice you’ve come here and don’t listen to anything anyone tells you. So the only way forward is to GET PROFESSIONAL HELP.
That’s fucked up.
If he wants to stay in the marriage, have him watch the kids (maybe not the infant) alone for a few days.
You take a break and visit a relative or something.
Tell him he needs to do more at home taking responsible for his house and children. .
I've said it before, but it bears repeating: comments on this sub recommend breaking up because people in healthy, well-adjusted relationships do not (feel the need to) ask strangers on the Almighty's internet for advice, and being alone is better than a bad relationship.
TL;DR: The sunk cost fallacy is real. Let's not encourage people to believe it.
Sounds like he wants to be busted down to just friends, but I wouldn’t even want to be friends with a jackass that enjoys pushing others’ buttons.
If your sex life (or any part of your relationship) is lacking you will seek enjoyment and validation from others
OP, sweet angel, I get it. The allure can be strong because it’s like “wow I must be so incredible if he’s willing to step out on his wife for me” but DON’T BELIEVE IT. You are special, yes, but he’s literally looking for prey and he sees your sweet young self as the ideal target. I’d bet all the money I have that you aren’t the first he’s tried this on. Tell his wife asap and find a new teacher.
Girl, get mad! Why aren't you mad?? I love you and I'm mad for you and I don't even know you, why am I more mad for you than you are for you??
Get more cavities
She tried to slap you after you forcibly stopped her from leaving. She tried to defend herself and your response wasn’t ‘holy shit, what did I just do?’, it was to try to to further assault her.
Yeaaaaah, not only are YTA, you’re an abusive one at that.
Why are you putting up with it? Do you think it's ok for him to speak to you like that when you've clearly asked him to stop? If you stay with him, this is your life because he will only get worse.
Why the fuck would you want to hang with some dude trying to fuck your girlfriend? And wtf with your girlfriend? She should have shut that shit down. There is no friendship to be had with a dude trying to fuck your girlfriend.
Nor with a bunch of sleazy ass friends encouraging said dude trying to fuck your girlfriend.
Is this actually a real situation? Or just some fantasy?
You should have bailed on him sooner. You gave up your prime years as a woman and don't even have a ring (and the recourse that goes with it)
Yeahhhh, this just… is it possible she's hiding it because she's getting back together with him? Maybe…
Do I suspect that the dude who is totally fine sneaking on his girlfriends phone probably wouldn't have responded well to “we're doing this for the kids” – even if it's 100% true and innocent.
Find the elephant in the room, point at it and gentle bring it up:
Dad, I am sorry you are lonely. You need to form adult relationships with other men and women to discuss sexual matters. Therapist can also help.
I am neither. I am your daughter. Imagine grandma came to you and started telling you how other men didn’t want to have sex with grandma. Or grandma asking you about your sex life.
I find it disgusting that you keep trying to talk to me sexually. I am also really hurt that you are ignoring the many times I have already told you to stop talking about sex with me. It is deeply disrespectful.
As of today, every time you bring up sex, I will stop the conversation and leave.
And do that. Every time he brings up something sexual, immediately remind him he is crossing a boundary and hang up. Or walk away. Because you absolutely can teach old dogs new tricks.
A 13 year age gap for adults is big. A 13 year age gap when your partner hasn't fully developed is HUGE.
At 31 I would not date a 20 year old. Your twenties are a massive time in terms of development and growth. It sounds to me like her needs have evolved and, for whatever reason, you haven't been alive to them.
I am sorry your relationship has come to an end, it's always sad when that happens. Now would be a good time to reflect on ensuring you're alive to both your own wants and needs in a partner, and that you are able to communicate effectively enough that your future partner can make you alive to their wants and needs from you.