Sounds like she is overly infatuated with your bf and either he is oblivious or likes the attention. He needs to set boundaries with her or break up with you.
Jewellery is very personal. What you find lovely, she may not like. Unless she’s going to chose it and you then buy it, I’d steer clear especially as you hardly know each other.
Your gifts are really thoughtful. Don’t listen to your parents.
Your 3-year BF didn't know Michael is gay? Seems kind of odd that “someone else” in your social circle knew & clued him in (who? I am fascinated!), meaning Michael is out already, but you never mentioned this to your BF?
It is not your place or privilege to tell your wife who she can or cannot hang out with but you certainly can tell her your reservations and I would certainly advise you to keep your eyes and ears open. There is definitely something fishy going on there.
Modelling isn't respected by everyone. You're putting your own body out there for money basically. It diminishes your dignity and self respect in that sense. That's probably why your parents are against it.
Paternity tests are a simple blood test these days.
Break up with her NOW. Not bc she cheated but bc you don't trust her, for whatever reason. That's a red flag for a toxic relationship (whosoever fault it might be.) Tell her you will not help her with her pregnancy until she does a paternity test.
Also, talk to a lawyer and find out how to avoid responsibility if the child isn't yours and do what they tell you; it's worth the money.
That said, there must be an HR or higher up you could approach. Or, if you are a shift leader, I imagine you could jump ship to another fast food place if you wanted. No shame in it if the company isn't looking out for you.
Move on, he broke up with you, let him go. I'm gonna be brutally honest, if he wanted you, he would be contacting you, not the other way around.
You haven't made it easy for him to reconcile. You haven't told him what you want, what he needs to do, what you're going to do, and you've taken no ownership for your side of the problems. But seriously, just let him go – he's no longer in the game.
The random photo responses took absolutely no effort on her part. She may be talking to several guys — which is NOT a crime, you’re also free to talk to several women — but she may also be a scammer or a bot. An overseas scammer has good reason to sidestep date requests.
In my country there is an extreme bias against fathers in divorce settlements, to the point where even if the father is a saint and the mother is mildly abusive, the judge will probably give main custody to the mother.
My monthly checkup is due to a stomach problem, which isn't serious but doesn't rule in my favor. She is a good mother in perfect health. If I go to court and things go bad, I risk losing my son and being able to see him maybe once every other week.
That's the claim, but not necessarily the truth. The only reason I'm raising an eyebrow at this is because so often in this sub if the genders were reversed people would say the fiancée is lying and sleeping with the guy friend, or at fault, but now people are surprisingly chill and quick to assign all the blame to OP's friend.
Because he doesn’t want the expectation of actually pleasing his partner sexually. He wants someone who doesn’t care about sex so he can tell himself it’s ok to not put in effort.
I've been to a pelvic floor therapist but progress has been so slow. Part of the problem is my bf an I never get a moment to ourselves. Our son shares a room with us because grandpa stole his. (That's a whole nother issue) I've done massages, dialators, and whatever else. I'm glad nobody thinks the pain is in my head. I was really worried that my bf wouldn't believe me and think I just didn't want to have sex with him. However he has only been super understanding and supportive. Like how many guys do you think would go 4 years without any sex (other than oral I'm not a monster) and not try to move on or cheat? I don't think most guys would put up with that.
If I'm understanding correctly, You're reacting the same way you did the first time he did this. The same way as when he was in agreement that these actions were too much and not okay. He knows that he's going too far but rather than admit this wants to put the blame on you and l continue.
You told him what your boundaries on this were and he is now not just violating them but saying you're wrong for having them. I think it would be safe to say that he doesn't respect your boundaries and can't be trusted. As very hot as it is to do, I'd move on.
I really don't understand insecurity, so your mindset baffles me.
But it's important to understand that everyone has their own thing that isn't necessarily logical. And it's okay to evaluate why and also important to voice it to your partner once you've figured it out a little
yeah I had my first random hookup a few days ago with a guy I met at a club and I was shocked when he went down on me because I was def stinky. But he didn't care.
And I happily went down on him even tho I don't normally like it because he was so nice lol.
OP, if he doesn't want to give head, then that's okay. But if you want head, you're not compatible sexually. So I'd find someone whose happy to give it.
Leave it be and let him go. If he chooses to contact you, then you will have to listen to him and truly apologize for what you did. If he doesn't contact, then you need to leave him alone and move on.
Learn from this. Don't catfish people. It's very immature and actually hurt people who you catfish.
This is such an unhealthy relationship its crazy. Your husband basically let, and urged, his brother to SA assault you and his exes. Regardless of the situation your dealing with in the present, that knowledge alone would be enough for me to nope out.
Dude clearly doesn't respect your boundaries, and the fact he's so obsessed with having his brother impregnate you is absolutely insane. Like, I feel like this can't possibly be a real situation with how bizarre it sounds ?. But I guess there's just some weird shit that happens sometimes.
That is absolutely disgusting and I feel for you/ the other women he did this to. That's not ok at all. I would see if I could file something against them.
The comment your dad made makes it sound like he’s incredibly dumb and knows it and is afraid of everyone else finding out. Deeply insecure thing to say.
I saw an analogy that really stuck with me. A project manager's job is to organize, delegate and supervise. Employees under the project manager take instructions from the project manager and complete tasks. The project manager does not complete the employee's tasks unless employee needs help or guidance. An employee is paid less than the project manager. The project manager does not do half or all of the employee's work. Just the job of organizing, delegating, and supervising is considered more valuable (in terms of salary) that completing the task.
Apply this analogy to the home. You are both the project manager and the employee. But you are
Not making more than employee because you are both paid the same
Doing a large percentage of the employee's work.
What value does this employee even bring to this workplace? This employee actually DETRACTS from the project because they are contributing nothing, doubling the work of the project manager, and being paid for it.
That’s too much time! Why do you spend so much time with them?!
Sounds like she is overly infatuated with your bf and either he is oblivious or likes the attention. He needs to set boundaries with her or break up with you.
Jewellery is very personal. What you find lovely, she may not like. Unless she’s going to chose it and you then buy it, I’d steer clear especially as you hardly know each other.
Your gifts are really thoughtful. Don’t listen to your parents.
Your 3-year BF didn't know Michael is gay? Seems kind of odd that “someone else” in your social circle knew & clued him in (who? I am fascinated!), meaning Michael is out already, but you never mentioned this to your BF?
Can I just say I love your update! We are all people in progress, and trust and communication are key!
Those were my thoughts too. It really wouldn’t have been an issue if I had known before hand.
Hi there, also raised by conservative Christians and getting far far from it is the best thing I ever did. That mental abuse really will mess you up.
Let her go, it's not like you have a long term relationship.
It is not your place or privilege to tell your wife who she can or cannot hang out with but you certainly can tell her your reservations and I would certainly advise you to keep your eyes and ears open. There is definitely something fishy going on there.
Modelling isn't respected by everyone. You're putting your own body out there for money basically. It diminishes your dignity and self respect in that sense. That's probably why your parents are against it.
Exactly. I'd put some more thought to this OP.
Why do you care youre never gonna have sex anyways, Saku OTAKU ?? go back to your childrens cartoons
Paternity tests are a simple blood test these days.
Break up with her NOW. Not bc she cheated but bc you don't trust her, for whatever reason. That's a red flag for a toxic relationship (whosoever fault it might be.) Tell her you will not help her with her pregnancy until she does a paternity test.
Also, talk to a lawyer and find out how to avoid responsibility if the child isn't yours and do what they tell you; it's worth the money.
Luckily for me you can’t get your fist pregnant
or go sleep with your best friend too
Yikes. Yeah, fast food is a crappy environment.
That said, there must be an HR or higher up you could approach. Or, if you are a shift leader, I imagine you could jump ship to another fast food place if you wanted. No shame in it if the company isn't looking out for you.
Move on, he broke up with you, let him go. I'm gonna be brutally honest, if he wanted you, he would be contacting you, not the other way around.
You haven't made it easy for him to reconcile. You haven't told him what you want, what he needs to do, what you're going to do, and you've taken no ownership for your side of the problems. But seriously, just let him go – he's no longer in the game.
The random photo responses took absolutely no effort on her part. She may be talking to several guys — which is NOT a crime, you’re also free to talk to several women — but she may also be a scammer or a bot. An overseas scammer has good reason to sidestep date requests.
There are no words to express my rage at your cousins disgraceful behaviour. Disgustingly entitled and just… ugh.
Not the place, DEFINITELY not the time, and to ask for freebies from a SHRINE FOR THEIR CHILD.
Another poster had it right, pick a side… Marcus and Abree. They will need all the love and support in the world.
So, talk with the counselor and get fired. Right. OP's friend is stupid.
Idk Hun. Life is pretty black and white to me with situations like this. I wish you well though.
In my country there is an extreme bias against fathers in divorce settlements, to the point where even if the father is a saint and the mother is mildly abusive, the judge will probably give main custody to the mother.
My monthly checkup is due to a stomach problem, which isn't serious but doesn't rule in my favor. She is a good mother in perfect health. If I go to court and things go bad, I risk losing my son and being able to see him maybe once every other week.
This sounds like a terrible situation for your son. Why are you subjecting him to it? If you won’t leave for yourself, leave for your kid.
That's the claim, but not necessarily the truth. The only reason I'm raising an eyebrow at this is because so often in this sub if the genders were reversed people would say the fiancée is lying and sleeping with the guy friend, or at fault, but now people are surprisingly chill and quick to assign all the blame to OP's friend.
It seems like she wasn't willing to compromise. Can you online with that? If yes, then get back together, if not, then it's better to stay broken up.
She’s the toxic person in her relationships. Bullet dodged.
Nah everyone has that list. He just talked about it. You likely have one too.
Because he doesn’t want the expectation of actually pleasing his partner sexually. He wants someone who doesn’t care about sex so he can tell himself it’s ok to not put in effort.
If that’s the case. Why did you post and need her to change?
It must matter because it’s having an impact. How does marriage change that impact?
It bothers you now and it’s only 6 months.
please dont delete this please
This, OP! You're a decent woman no matter what time you decide to come home because you are a decent human!
That especially broke my heart to read. Please OP, be a good partner to YOURSELF!
I've been to a pelvic floor therapist but progress has been so slow. Part of the problem is my bf an I never get a moment to ourselves. Our son shares a room with us because grandpa stole his. (That's a whole nother issue) I've done massages, dialators, and whatever else. I'm glad nobody thinks the pain is in my head. I was really worried that my bf wouldn't believe me and think I just didn't want to have sex with him. However he has only been super understanding and supportive. Like how many guys do you think would go 4 years without any sex (other than oral I'm not a monster) and not try to move on or cheat? I don't think most guys would put up with that.
If I'm understanding correctly, You're reacting the same way you did the first time he did this. The same way as when he was in agreement that these actions were too much and not okay. He knows that he's going too far but rather than admit this wants to put the blame on you and l continue.
You told him what your boundaries on this were and he is now not just violating them but saying you're wrong for having them. I think it would be safe to say that he doesn't respect your boundaries and can't be trusted. As very hot as it is to do, I'd move on.
You need better dreams than being with an emotionally abusive jerk still hung up on his ex using you as his second choice.
It's just Reddit man
I really don't understand insecurity, so your mindset baffles me.
But it's important to understand that everyone has their own thing that isn't necessarily logical. And it's okay to evaluate why and also important to voice it to your partner once you've figured it out a little
I'm embarrassed to say, honestly. We've been together 8 months.
yeah I had my first random hookup a few days ago with a guy I met at a club and I was shocked when he went down on me because I was def stinky. But he didn't care.
And I happily went down on him even tho I don't normally like it because he was so nice lol.
OP, if he doesn't want to give head, then that's okay. But if you want head, you're not compatible sexually. So I'd find someone whose happy to give it.
Leave it be and let him go. If he chooses to contact you, then you will have to listen to him and truly apologize for what you did. If he doesn't contact, then you need to leave him alone and move on.
Learn from this. Don't catfish people. It's very immature and actually hurt people who you catfish.
This is such an unhealthy relationship its crazy. Your husband basically let, and urged, his brother to SA assault you and his exes. Regardless of the situation your dealing with in the present, that knowledge alone would be enough for me to nope out.
Dude clearly doesn't respect your boundaries, and the fact he's so obsessed with having his brother impregnate you is absolutely insane. Like, I feel like this can't possibly be a real situation with how bizarre it sounds ?. But I guess there's just some weird shit that happens sometimes.
That is absolutely disgusting and I feel for you/ the other women he did this to. That's not ok at all. I would see if I could file something against them.
Break up and block all contact, you are still a kid and dont deserve this kind of treatment, this is not normal.
Wow what a narc! Only her pure genes are suitable to co to use the family li e!!
Only kids with her physical beauty would be loved by her family!!
She’s a cunt. And a spiteful one at that. Jeez. You poor woman.
The comment your dad made makes it sound like he’s incredibly dumb and knows it and is afraid of everyone else finding out. Deeply insecure thing to say.
I saw an analogy that really stuck with me. A project manager's job is to organize, delegate and supervise. Employees under the project manager take instructions from the project manager and complete tasks. The project manager does not complete the employee's tasks unless employee needs help or guidance. An employee is paid less than the project manager. The project manager does not do half or all of the employee's work. Just the job of organizing, delegating, and supervising is considered more valuable (in terms of salary) that completing the task.
Apply this analogy to the home. You are both the project manager and the employee. But you are
Not making more than employee because you are both paid the same
Doing a large percentage of the employee's work.
What value does this employee even bring to this workplace? This employee actually DETRACTS from the project because they are contributing nothing, doubling the work of the project manager, and being paid for it.