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Date: December 2, 2022
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Well you're 22 and should never have gotten married. You hang no perspective yet and that shows.
Bro, I didn't read after the title.
If she cheated on you, in anyway, broke your trust, lied to you in anyway. It's over. There is no more question, as to why you would still want to be with her?
Just move on. Have some self respect. You let her stay, you are basically letting her know, that she or anyone can just walk all over when they want and you are still going to take them back.
Naw bro, don't be cringy
I'm sorry but he was engaged a few months after you last slept with him? Girl, he obviously cheated on his wife with you. So she deserves to know but honestly that's besides the point. Your kid should know their other parent and receive funds from them too.
How do you know nothing would come of it?
If what she says is true she should go to the authorities.
Don't do anything, no need to. Your wife was fine with it and agreed and she even checked her friend for being out of line and hung up on her. Her friend had zero right to say anything, and definitely not to the point where she was swearing at you. Very out of line and disrespectful.. Your wife handled it, it's over with. Just leave that topic alone entirely.
Ah! The revenge cheating
But do you think this is your 1 and only gift? Or maybe it was just something that made her think of you and she added it in with the clothes you asked for?
I do that a lot for my husband, he never gives a list but in general will usually mention a couple ideas if I ask. This year all he mentioned was some work shoes and a new golf driver. So I got those (well a gift card for a golf club fitting), but I also saw a funny pair of underwear and socks, this universal wrench looking thing?, and some new pajamas.
If all he comes across is that weird impulse buy wrench, he still wouldn’t be bothered enough to write up a whole complaint on the internet.
It was probably an impulse buy/add on gift, chill out and grow up.
Why not just not answer your phone or just turn it off for the hour or add him to do not disturb list for an hour?
He’s a grown man. If he’s accepting the responsibility (whether he likes it or it) then he should handle it.
You aren’t adding value and he is doing it to annoy you and worry you. It’s a passive aggressive method but as long as you humour him then it works.
But maybe you both need more consistent childcare options.
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You're the side chick.
Yeah, I think that's the right thing to do. It's what I'd like to think I would do.
I know it’s weird to say but I don’t know my father. I always told myself that if I had kids I’d do whatever I could to be apart of their life and take care of them they way mine didn’t.
“Take no prisoners when it comes to character” perfect. So perfect. Saving this for my teens ty
Either you communicate clearer and explain what’s going to happen if she don’t at least try and not be a selfish lover or you break up. If you break up though make sure she knows why.
She's blackmail you.. call the police and have her escorted out! Don't threaten her with the cops but just call them. Don't argue with her .. you told her to leave, period. No more talk! More you talk, more she'll threaten and guilt trip you..
She could hurt herself and call the cops on you.. so be smart and not afraid!
In my experience it’s wise to trust your gut. If something feels off, it probably is.
He needs to move out.
It’s an enquiry on a 3sc0rt website
Ah, you must still on-line with your parents.
Make sure you tell those who pay your way that you appreciate them.
If you feel that way, it’s time to bail. In my relationship, for the first 8-9 years my wife made more than I did. It was not an issue. Then I went to law school. For the last 7-8 years I make close to 10 times what she does. Also not an issue. That’s because we have always been a team. Sad that you don’t have that. We’ve got more than 25 years together. Money ebbs and flows. Our love and commitment does not.
Thank you for your input! I know that I drink too much, but I’ve been working on it. It was much worse at one point. But I don’t black out or even get super drunk anymore.
I've seen their conversation about a year ago and it was very flirtatious. That's how I discovered her.
I know all of the terms/types of ligations that can be performed.. Talking to the person above, who says it's called sterilization.
You have way more energy than me! That’s like my teenage levels.. We’ve been together ten years. We are out of shape which makes it more of a mission so gotta be feeling real fiesty
It also depends on the net price of the apartment as to whether that was a fair offer. But basically, you have decided that an extra $50/mo is not worth having a fourth person in your space, especially when that person really only benefits one of you.
So you and the other roommate are allowed to say no. A lease agreement needs to be signed by all parties, so you do have power over whether she moves in at all. Or whether you move out and they find someone else.
I'm worried that because he was once interested in such a high turn over of woman
try to give him the benefit of the doubt– even if he once was, he's not interested in that stuff, now. he's interested in you.
I'm more wondering, what you'd recommend for ways to not let his past bother me? Count to 10 even? Definitely don't bring it up? I'm at that point where I feel I need a behavioral reset and for someone to be like no, definitely don't do that or do this, because my self doubt is high.
I often go with a relevant, repeated, mantra on repeat in my head– sometimes it works to just remind myself of things a few times. once I've talked too myself about it for a bit I can usually manage not to do the thing for a while, lol.
counting to 10 is another good trick– just gives yourself a bit of a reset, and forces you to chill out a moment before acting. maybe at the end of the 10 seconds, you reassess– “ooookay. now, what was I upset about? why was I upset about that? am I still upset, and if so, is there a solution?” I find that being overly rational about a thing can help with perspective on said thing. it's like spelling everything out real slowly until you see where the problems are.
if these tricks aren't working, then you may need to research other tips or see an actual professional. they probably know dozens of ways to work on this, whereas you and I are limited by our imaginations and experience.
good luck! I think you'll be just fine.
What? Tell her to get an apt. Lol this ain’t the 90’s.
hahaha, My phone is always broken, I am very very clumsy.
My wife has Korean drama evenings with my best friend without me there sometimes, me and him have anime/dnd nights without my wife, if anything my wife is more worried about me and him running away together lol.
In your case… I hate to break it to you but you wife and mate are banging, or there's a tiny chance it's just emotional cheating.
Either way you need to drop one or better yet both of them and move on with your life.
Damn girl you sound amazing in bed, I've been with chicks a lot longer who didn't do half of what you do…
L got a bad deal. He fell in love with the wrong person. If you leave him, do it for him not for you, and then leave the man alone forever. His soulmate is out there and you are in the way.
Omg. I remember reading this. Dude! I have no words. This might be over. There's no way she can be in a relationship with someone who is part of the reason life as she knows it isn't the same. I'm so sorry Op. Updateme
Also even if he was annoyed or if some food are off limit the answer is not to get supee angry. “Hey, I really try to keep those for when I'm ok the run. If you're hungry don't hesitate to get XYZ. Or maybe there is a snack you like? Would be happy to keep some around for you.”
Your husband is also your support system, as he is working a job to pay for your lifestyle.
She feels as if I wasn’t content with her as a whole and her body, and as if I emotionally cheated but I didn’t have no type of ties to this, it’s just porn to me
If he won’t be honest about having consent and safe sex, like, fuck the rest of the info you have about him, pretend it’s irrelevant, because it is – that first red flag? That’s the important one. Not how many people he has fucked, but the fact that he won’t speak to you honestly about consent and safe sex? Forget it.
Sit next to him on the sofa. Rest your head on his shoulder. Put your hand on his INNER THIGH, and start rubbing it slowly. Whisper in his ear, “I'm ready for you.” And then let him do the rest.
Unless you're like 26 and 24
I’m 37 with two kids and i was going out with someone in her early 20s. It comes with the territory. If you’re uncomfortable with people judging you for your age then it’s something that you need to think about. I let those comments roll off my back. Don’t let them get to you.
It’s honestly pretty rapey. That’s the vibe I got anyway, like he wants her to not want sex while he has sex with her? Like he has to convince her. It’s friggin gross.
You need to grow up.
I get that, generally, people who don't look after themselves (even if they're fit or of normal weight) can be unattractive to a lot of people, because that's not a great quality.
This does not sound like one of those cases. I don't think he's “a whole different person” is a good way to excuse the fact that you're just trying to get around that, yes, you are being shallow. It's pretty clear you have a thing for his body.
Instead of saying, like someone who cares, “he looks after himself and his health” and emphasising the positives to his lifestyle, mental health, and personal life, you place emphasis on his body and his face.
Also get out with the “try him out”, what? You want to “try out” your friend of several years. “lol”. How did you write that out without feeling like a pervert or just… wrong? This isn't cute or funny.
If someone said “Hey, I want to try you out.” I'm going to tell them where to go and run. It's so disrespectful and objectifying.
And then, you booked a 1 bed room on purpose so you can sleep in the same bed??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SERIOUSLY?
Do you not realise how manipulative that is? Of course, he said it's fine because he thinks there's not much of a choice and doesn't realise all the red flags you've got following after you! Flip the script and think about if a guy was doing this to you. Moreover, a guy you trusted for years.
Look, if you must, talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Accept whatever outcome. Do not play games. Do not play with his feelings. Please, actually think about your motivations and actually care about his thoughts and feelings like a friend would.
Good luck to him.
Same here. More first world bullshit. Think about it this way. A poor person must fight and die for everything he or she has. They don’t have the luxury of finding themselves.
Sounds like she wants a divorce, but there isn’t a proper rationale to trigger it. The trip of discovery means a break. She'll probably cheat, so she has something to blame the divorce on
So tell her that know that the invite was for both, as you saw it. That will likely open a can of worms, but there’s nothing you can do about that.
Then ask her why she lied to you, why does she not want you there.
Then you ask her to actually think. The invitation came from the bride to be, personally. This likely means that the bride to be knows that your gf doesn’t like her much, and is trying to prove that she is an important part of her new family.
Why is this the most controversial comment? I wonder …
I have relatives living in the north of Canada. To smoke in the winter they have to get all dressed up because it's like minus 40°C and they'd lose their fingers if they didn't bother with gloves. It takes a long time to do all that and go outside, not to mention it's a pain in the neck.
But guess what? none of them smoke indoors because they respect the one non-smoker in the house.
If you think your GF's coming back after such blatant disrespect from you… well of course we see women going back to men who don't deserve them every day here, but if your GF has any self-respect, she'll be looking for a non-smoker who respects her.
Only issue would be that I only have two seats ?
“More details in DM”- if you want people to help you you need to be open about the story here. You mention arguing a lot but not what the arguments were about. Has she communicated to you why she is still considering breaking up and what exactly she isn't happy about?
I want you to read through this conversation and point out where I said she should stay with him.
You are having a very different conversation, maybe with the wrong person, but I have no idea why you're bringing up staying in a bad relationship.
Doesn’t work that way. ?
I'm going to bring up these points with him later.
I'm not worried about him trying to flirt with this girl or something. I trust him about that and am pretty sure he won't try to hit on other people.
But he can be very childish, callous and unfiltered about all kinds of human interactions. Often it makes him come across as good-humored, easygoing and honest, but sometimes it makes me uncomfortable. But then I worry maybe I'm the one who's too uptight and anti-social.
If I ask him to be not callous, he tends to completely shut down and be like “now I don't know what to say at all”. I find that really frustrating.
Not all work spouses are having an affair, but it's a good sign that is crossing into emotional affair territory. Especially if the “work spouses” are the ones calling themselves that. It's one thing if ignorant coworkers joke that Jim and Pam are work husband/wife, but once the “couple” starts referring to each other that way, it's disrespectful to their actual spouses.
That's great! A phone call would work, too, if you can't manage meeting up somewhere. Best of luck!
I can't really tell if you want to stay with him or not. Frankly, you gave him a second chance already imo. If you do want to stay, confront him and tell him to call her on speakerphone in front of you immediately or you'll go scorched earth. You will tell EVERYONE, including his family, your family, friends, and her husband. Make sure you send yourself copies of their texts. Tbh, she might not be in an abusive marriage. She just might be bored and knows that your husband has a soft spot for her. Who knows? Not your husbands job to be her hero. If he lies or refuses, get a lawyer. If he admits it and agrees, then he goes NC and gets into ic to see if he can create tools and boundaries so that he stops being a pos. I'd be done, but if you really want him, then be quick and brutal with your demands. I'm sorry this is happening again OP. You sound like a good person. Good luck. ?
Question: You say you left your partner on bad terms. Was this due to arguments over him being upset that you had decided to be on a boat for months with a bunch of other guys and no cell service?
I didn’t even need to read past the first few sentences to realize OP’s GF was just using him to take care of her and her son. Sorry it happened to you OP.
I didn’t even read the full thing. Got tired of it, much like you are with him.
Just move on IMO.