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Date: October 3, 2022
Dude sounds super over dramatic and soft. Good luck, I hope the best but him “wanting to cry” sounds just wayyy over the top. I couldn’t imagine dealing with that kind of beta attitude
If your girlfriend said she was assaulted amd all you can do is think about yourself l maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. You need more time to learn to have genuine empathy for someone you care about. You seem extremely selfish
Very Best of Luck in your Journey…
Ya, lied by omission and broke your boundary
Well I just moved to a new city. But it’s only a 20 minute train ride from my home town. I feel like I moved, but not really?
I dunno. I want to take chances. But I also get worried I’ll miss family. My dad is 73. And I got a dog over lockdown I love who lives with my family.
Thank you for your advice. I agree the timeline was too quick, and I fully agree that I must talk to my gf before any feelings are confessed. However, I did leave out that my gf and I are pretty decent communicators and have had our relationship as an open relationship during the summer when she was away for internships.
With that in mind, a really good update:
I just told my gf that I accept the fact that we’re eventually going to break up, and that we may need to go back to a more open relationship again. And then I just told my best friend that my gf and I decided we’ll eventually break up. But that was it. So I think I’ve sorta ripped half the band aid off.
My gf and I will likely talk again before the new year, and I think this will give me the mental space to hold in my feelings towards my best friend. I think that it will also allow me the time and space to explore these feelings for my friend and truly figure out if it’s what I want.
Again, thank you for the advice, happy holidays
your probably just over thinking. it’s christmas eve not everyone can be glued to their phone
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See where the day takes you. I'm hearing good things and no negatives
There's someone else. The roommate.
Yeah, maybe I'm being too negative but “she has a secret fling at work” was where my mind went. Probably not true but it would explain things. Sure maybe OP's surprise wasn't the most well thought out but if her issue was simply being taken away from work she would've said it. Instead she's acting immature and refusing to give him a straight answer. It feels like she's hiding something.
If it’s abnormal that she walks in just let it go. If it happens a handful of times just make a point to touch base when she’s leaving the grocery store. You’ll have some minutes to prepare however and not be rude to your mom.
Do you guys have any issues with your mom? It sounds to me like there’s some background stuff happening that’s more than messy house and anxiety..
Exactly this, she went crazy and now wonders what happened.
The more you resist, the more it will persist.
Sounds like your husband has a gf and you need to stop letting your child disappear into the city with this man. If he tries to kidnap her how are you going to be able to help the police if you don’t even know where he lives.
Turmes out it wasn't actually the alcohol. He was like that anyway.
? Idk i can‘t meet up with her.
Let's be real. Your relationship died the moment you suggested the open relationship. If you stay in it you're just going to end up cheating. Just end it now.
she told me that thinking ‘how she treats an animal could in any way predict how she treats her children’ was the most offensive thing she has ever heard
Really?!? Because the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. What if you have a daughter who's a tomboy, but your GF insists she needs to be a girly-girl? Your son wants an action figure, but 'dolls are for girls'? Your son wants to play t-ball, but she insists he needs to play soccer?
The ONLY reasonable option is #3: Break up with her and take the cat!
She sees it as your cat because she didn't “choose” it although she agreed to it. She's allergic to cats, continues to have cats as pets, then treats them poorly. (This one has been wearing a cone for 1+ years. The last one had to be bathed regularly. Vets say more than once every 4-6 weeks is not good for cats' skin. With her allergies, I doubt she was bathing the cat only once every 4-6 weeks.) As a human, she has an ability to deal with her allergy, but refuses to. So a cat, who has NO ability to change the situation, is punished/tortured because she doesn't want to be disaccommodated. She admits she's only tolerating a cat she agreed to. She tries to guilt you and actively makes you feel bad if she's not #1 all the time. She's selfish.
Finish your semester. Quietly find somewhere new to live! and get all that lined up without her knowledge. Then BREAK UP WITH HER and BLOCK HER on all social media (also block ALL of her family/friends; they'll just start harassing you on her behalf. Tell her that the last 2 years of living together have shown you that she is not the long-term partner you're looking for; the relationship does not work for you. Don't be specific. Don't give examples. She'll just want to argue about each point and why bother? You saying 'I don't want this anymore' is sufficient reason to break up whether she gets it or not. Take your cat and move. Take the cat to the vet IMMEDIATELY to determine your best course of action going forward to help your cat recover.
Well, you will come to discover that special bonds while special are not unique. And in fact what it is to be special changes as you grow and mature as well.
You're 22. You clearly want to go out and experience things. You clearly have the vision of a healthy dynamic, one that is about communication and intimacy. But he wasn't it. And that is okay, so long as you accept that this has hit its limit and start to reflect on what comes next.
It doesn't matter as in you being right or wrong, but it does give a bit of context to the situation. And I didn't deep dive into your history. I was literally trying to get to your comment but my phone's reddit is acting stupid still
The reason I am worried is that when she dated her previous partner, 3 years into their relationship she gave a handjob to his friend, they stayed together for 7 more years after that and broke up when he cheated on her.
So if you don't trust her fully, why did you start dating her? Cheating on one's partner with their friend is VERY low.
its either you have done something to trigger it or she is projecting.
there is no smoke when there is no fire bro
It doesn't matter if you've done it in the past, that was a different situation.
The important part now is that you don't want to do it now.
You say you have had therapy… get better therapists. They should have been telling you to leave a long time ago.
The ability to leave is a gift ignored by so many….