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Anabel, 25 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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Hi. At a minimum, it's an emotional affair. I would tell him you are going to file for divorce unless he finds another job asap, goes NC with her and blocks, and deletes her number. Then you have an open phone policy and either have all his texts and messages show up on your phone, too, or have them saved to an iCloud he can't delete them from. He also gives you access to all his social media accounts. He writes out a timeline of their affair and what they have done. Call her spouse and let him know what you found and see if he will share with you what he found. Let him know asap. IC and MC are a must. These are the minimum requirements for reconciliation. I would also do location sharing as well. Buy him the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass. Go see an attorney to at least learn your rights. Make copies of everything. I would consider reporting them to HR.
You're on therapy. Is he too? He probably should give it a try. And then try couple's counselling or therapy.
Finding the root to the problem might take a while but you both seem willing to solve the issue.
Rocky foundation. Don’t go through with it. If he is holding it over your head now he’ll hold it over your head tomorrow too. He probably will not be ever able to look past ir
Your gf is having some type of mental breakdown, at least that's what it sounds like. She is abusing you but may not intend it. She sounds desperately afraid of being alone. In any case, her behavior is a symptom of something big that needs intervention.
Yes…yes…yes…yes…yesssss!!!
This is a learned behavior he needs to break. I used to have a lot of issues with this, I’d punish myself excessively for doing something wrong, and I realized it came from my parents. It was also a way for me to avoid consequences by beating myself up, because if I do it first then other people won’t.
He definitely needs to see a therapist about this because you won’t be able to keep a healthy relationship with that kind of behavior. I would also call him out on it in the meantime, tell him you don’t want him making your feelings of hurt about him. Ask him for room to express your feelings without his input and see if he can do it.
OH…absolutely agreed…and maybe telling him will be part of her taking
responsibility.
Did you know that approximately Half of the babies born in the US have
a parent other than the Marital Partner? True story.
Lotta secrets in those houses out there. FWIW
Prepare the divorce paper. An with friend and family .
You're literally 21, so 3 years ago you were supposedly living with your parents? I only met my husband when I was 27 after I established myself financially and was ready to settle down.
I'm not trying to be harsh, but I think more women need to read your story and realizes your age is absolutely too young to be married.
You believed everything your husband told you because at that point, with your probable time frame, he couldn't have shown you what a consistent man is.
As a woman, I had to know which direction I wanted my life to go, so I had a plan and I was open and honest about my expectations, before any big occurances and I was so happy to have done this before getting pregnant. Now, my SO and I are a strong team and amazing parents and partners.
To be married and settle down, you have to be able to recognise a good man, your husband does not sound like one.
My 31y.o advice is that you need to get out and figure out your own life, don't waste your whole twenties with someone who sees you as a bangmaid.
You literally asked her for her opinion?
Sounds like your bf isnt mad at you, hes mad at his brother. Hes jealous and honestly i kind of would be too. Let him cool down but try to push him to talk to his brother. Boundaries are really important, especially in situations like these. Have him make it clear that doing bf things with his gf isnt okay to him and that he’d like it if you and his brother are friends and thats it
He isn’t bi, just too afraid to say he is gay.
Wow, I didn't expect anyone to see this story who knew us. I know it's not the greatest story ever told but could you please not mention our names? Reddit can be super weird re: this sorta stuff.
Yea thatll teach him. Withhold sex for compliments. If you need validation to feel loved you should not date until you could love yourself without someone needing to compliment you to make you feel attractive. Therapy would help or maybe just leave this guy. Cause if he truly didnt find you attractive you withholding sex isnt going to do anything
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I would have a biiiiig sit down with him. To get to the bottom of why he is feeling the way he is feeling. (I would also go through his phone but I can’t advice you to be as toxic as me hahah)
Putting your best foot forward is faking. I'm not in an interview, trying to build something real. The goal isn't to get a job, or aka a second date. It's different.
I'm super understanding of others, so they don't need to be their best. I also don't want to spend 6 months figuring out who someone is.
True, and that's what I was thinking in mind too.
But when I go back and read OP's description it sounds like he's doing a bit more than throwing a few items on the grill and legitimately cooking his own side meal.
You're only a complete idiot if you keep doing the same thing and expecting him to change. Aka, if you stay with him.
No but that's why its a comprise. And adoption is not cheap. Some of my patients end up paying over 40K.
Then you need a better one. Jfc you're 30 not 18. Take the rose coloured glasses off. It's not romantic to have to save someone. Get a puppy if you need to look after something helpless, it'll cost less.
Damn man, she betray you over and over again and you stay with her, you deserve all this
Cut them out, walk away with your head up. You will meet people like these all your life.
However, 27 is old enough to cut this mean girl crap out. They sound very immature.
Do not give them any more energy, find your people. The ones that will always have your back. The ones that know you will be there if they need you.
That's friendship, that's what we all need.
Be well, be strong, be safe! Hugs from a Nana. You got this.
Do you have to catch her with the dudes dick inside of her to believe she’s fucking him? All the evidence points to her cheating.
You need to break up with this dude and call animal control. This is fucked up, those poor dogs 🙁
That’s the plan.
Well what does it say about me? (: please do tell me
Have you ever had a sexual relationship or hooked up with the best friend?
It’s a really odd feeling to hear that someone you were involved with is getting married.
Bingo! You're just a wallet to her. Dump the parasite.
My partner wanted me until the day I gave birth. We broke up for different reasons but I’ve had plenty of bfs who loved every part of my body since then. Don’t restrict your happiness to someone else’s (idiotic) standards.
“I graciously accept your presence at my convenience and your bank account. You're welcome. “
Wondered if anyone else caught that little Freudian slip.
Monotonous indeed. Guy wants to have his current apartment while he shops for his next one.
Congrats on the raise/new job and those sick negotiation skills, damn.
He shouldn’t have to tell her that flirting with his uncle, the uncle who has tried to sleep with prior girlfriends, is an issue for him.
I experienced something like this with an ex and I agree it has to be approached sensitively. I'd ask him to talk to his doctor about it, just in case there's an underlying health issue.
SORRY! 22M- not 22F. Oops-
SORRY! 22M- not 22F. Oops-
Being a care taker is exhausting for any human being on this planet. Even taking care of your kids is exhausting to the point where parents actually feel relaxed and happy when they take breaks from them.
It has nothing to do with love, or lack thereof. But everyone has a limit and it’s understandable.
What’s important is for her to acknowledge that’s she needs help in general, and not just depend on you.
If you don’t mind me asking what was the initial Injury about and why did it devolve into her not being able to do a desk job?
And I'm aware it's not my responsibility. But I help. Because couples help and support each other. Again, waking him isn't even my biggest issue.
What he is doing to help and support YOU?
You’re attached and she’s single. You’re behaving correctly. Actually, you care about your relationship…and you seem like a very mature and balanced person.
Good job.