0 views
Press right there to start video or
Room for online sex video chat ANaughtyA
Model from:
Languages: en,de
Birth Date: 1977-09-05
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureNone
Date: October 22, 2022
Social media is a weird thing. I get it from her point of view.
And as a male myself. I get it from your point of view too
What type of therapy have you tried? How many different therapists have you been through? It can take time to find what and who works for you. Not one size fits all, so even if you've found one thing doesn't work, I wouldn't discredit all of it based on that. Ultimately strangers on the internet aren't going to be able to undo what causes you to react the way you do. It's going to take you working in yourself and investing in yourself to work through it.
i’m going to give you some very very hot advice and input, as someone who lives with a very serious (and notoriously nude to treat) mental illness.
you are toxic, and starting to become abusive.
you are putting your partner through a totally unnecessary whirlwind, his studies are suffering because of it, and i’m sure his mental health is, too. dealing with a partner who lashes out is exhausting, and not only is it exhausting, it causes you to walk on eggshells when they are around. you become hyper aware of everything you are saying and doing out of fear of setting them off, and that pattern is very damaging.
if that sounds like a pattern of abuse, it’s because it is. there is no arguing that.
while i’m glad you are aware of your behavior and you understand why you experience the things you do, the tone of your post is mildly infuriating. you have that “it isn’t me, it’s the illness, i can’t help myself, i need the pills” mentality that completely shifts accountability from you to your illness, and that is really unhealthy.
your illness is not a separate entity from yourself. it is a part of who you are, and if you are not putting in constant work to effectively on-line with it, it will eat up everything around you. by your own hand.
your illness does not give you any kind of pass on how you act around, or react to, the people around you. and while meds help with the chemical side of the equation, the biggest and most important part of this is therapy. i don’t necessarily mean “talk therapy” with a professional (even though it’s not a bad idea), i mean developing coping mechanisms, actively practicing self-soothing techniques, reality tapping, avoiding triggers, learning about cognitive function with anxiety, etc.
i also recommend removing everything from your life that is known to cause and worsen anxiety. caffeine, alcohol, nicotine, and being sedentary are huge triggers.
you need to start treating yourself for this condition while you’re waiting for medical intervention in the country you are now in. if you are on edge, do something physical that keeps you out of your boyfriend’s face. walking, cleaning, anything that gets you moving. when you are overwhelmed, do something that winds you down. i don’t know what your lifestyle looks like to tell you what those things are, but soothing yourself when you are overstimulated is vital to correcting this cycle. i recommend reading into what people with autism do to “self-soothe.” it’s helped my son tremendously with his PTSD.
i live! with a particularly nasty case of bipolar 1 disorder, and i could spend hours telling you about all of the relationships i’ve ruined, the chaos i’ve caused, and the overall toxic waste i was until i started being proactive. it took twenty years to get on the right track, but it’s never too late. you just have to realize how much of your behavior is 100% avoidable, and treatable.
in terms of how you remedy your relationship? you stop leaning on him. you start standing on your own to relieve the pressure you’re dragging him down with, and you put more positive focus on him. stop making your illness a headlining act in this relationship. if you don’t start breathing positivity and feelings of safety and appreciation into your partnership, it will die a long and resentful death.
i’m going to gently recommend seeing a therapist after you receive your diagnosis, too. your doctors have only been putting a bandaid on your issues by writing you prescriptions and just sending you on your way. if your illness has reached this point, it’s irresponsible not to start seeing a professional. someone who can actually help you, which your partner cannot—and is not obligated to—do.
Pretty solid conclusion idk I don't wanna say too much bc I don't wanna offend anyone at all and don't know enough about anything related to the subject other than your straight obviously not into men & they identify as they/he & unless you come out as queer it's unsafe for them but if you're not into men then why would you come out as queer & personally I just don't see how the relationship is gonna continue to work if they identify as a gender you're not attracted to & if you can't mention all the things you are attracted to outside of their gender which you're not attracted to then idk I'm very confused with the thought process they're having.
I don’t know now it’s all so confusing. I went to get my stuff and he never put it outside so I had to go in and get it. I started crying of course and shaking with anxiety so he just had me sit down, then lay down and he cuddled me. I took a small nap, woke up and asked him what we are doing and basically he said he dosnt want to break up.
Why are you still with someone… Who doesn't make you happy?
Rack up the gifts then dump his ass!
She should not have the code to the house. As simple as that. Boundaries not only need to be set, they also need to be enforced. And it's the enforcement of the boundaries that is at issue.
I may get downvoted to hell for this, but it seems to me an odd contradiction that, nowadays, the conventional (and even legal) wisdom is that woman who is drunk cannot consent to sexual activity, and that therefore any such activity is sexual assault, and, yet, people are quick to assert that an intoxicated woman who gets enticed into sexual activity was just “acting how she wanted to act,” and thus fully consenting. It seems to me it's either one or the other.
That’s a good idea. I hadn’t thought of that.
I didn’t really get too deep into it but I’ve worked with ages 6 weeks-Kindergarten for over 10 years. I know full well what kids need and we did everything including potty training, minus a bath. I routinely was caring for 4 infants by myself. I was saying it because a lot of people pull the “four kids is a lot to handle” but I know I can handle it.
?
Bruh she cheating lol
It sounds like you were used as a placement card.
Reiterating her argument doesn’t make you inculpable from using it. I proves that point wrong, then you jumped to a completely unrelated point of cost. Now you are arguing that you never said what you said because she said it in two comments first.
You suck at having a discussion, and apparently can’t take responsibility for what you say. Instead you blame other for the words coming out of your mouth/fingers. You must be delightful IRL.
u/Broke_CriminalLawyer, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I know. The fact that it is impossible for the baby to be his is not at issue.
This is about whether she took responsibility for her actions. That matters because it speaks to her intentions going forward – Is she going to blame OP for the divorce? Will she try to justify her cheating by maligning OP's character? Is she going to tell people that OP is the father? That he abandoned her and the child? That he's a deadbeat that refuses to pay child support?
If she admitted to cheating in front of her father, she can't lie to her family about OP.
That's the reason behind my comment. It's not about biology.
OP you need to think long and naked about whether you want a life with a man who insults and undermines your kindness to the point that you are now questioning yourself. This is a serious red flag. He simply will not let you be kind and enjoy it. NTA
sex is a major aspect of compatibility. Agreeing to a lifetime of bad sex is… depressing at best. Like… girl. He literally straight up refuses to please you and somehow you feel selfish? What in the fuck???? Do you hear yourself??
There is no way this guy is offering enough to put up with a lifetime of lame dick. Like really, what is he offering? Please for the love of god don't just say, “we get along really well” because that is not enough. I get along with Debra in accounting, i'm not asking her to marry me. Theres more to it than that.
I don't think he'll necessarily be abusive because he's 37 and dating a 23 year-old. I just think that you're going to miss out on a LOT if you end up in a long-term relationship with him. These are your twenties, on-line a little. Have experiences. Travel. Try new jobs. Meet new people.
He's also not going to 'look 27' forever, which might matter someday (or might not).
I don't think he'll necessarily be abusive because he's 37 and dating a 23 year-old. I just think that you're going to miss out on a LOT if you end up in a long-term relationship with him. These are your twenties, on-line a little. Have experiences. Travel. Try new jobs. Meet new people.
He's also not going to 'look 27' forever, which might matter someday (or might not).
Hello /u/louloudiz,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You had set yourself a boundary about this and I think you should respect that boundary since you feel iffy about the situation.
Hello /u/Elyscote,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Jesus H. Christ, man. That's terrible. It's really crappy and traumatizing to find out someone you thought you knew is essentially a pedophile… I'd just cut ties completely. No family contact, even.
If she didn’t want the pregnancy, that’s completely her choice. She’s the only 1 who gets to decide that.
If you want kids, and she doesn’t. You definitely should just separate. Don’t pressure her or try to change her mind.
Do not leave high school; a woman I know, left HS in 11th grade and has never acquired her HS degree, as “life happened” and “got in the way”. She is now 57 and regrets it.
Also, your boyfriend isn’t uprooting his life to move cross continents be with you all in the name of love. You go there, then he gets to change the dynamics after you’ve given up everything you know to be with him. And mind you: HE IS UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO SUPPORT YOU.
We all would like to think our stupid decisions will somehow turn out “differently” because our desires convince us that we’re “different”. We’re not, everyone lives turn out the same, except for a select few, who’s way was already paved for them.
If you are a hellbent hopeless romantic, and still intend to this, at least wait until you’re finished, enroll in college. And get your OWN place, stay in it for two years and continue to date him. In 2 years, if you’re still together, ask him his intentions for your future together. If he hasn’t asked you to marry him by then, he likely has no intention to do so.
It's called steelmanning, actually – the opposite of a straw man. Slightly ironic, really!
i want to get the best they can offer.
Why do you think that you deserve this, particularly in casual conversation? A lot of the time, I really can't be arsed having a tortuous “debate” with someone about something petty, especially when it's opinion-based or when neither of us are in full possession of the facts.
Leave her alone, learn your lesson.
You're not a toy with pieces to ensemble. Your body is the way your body is. If your boyfriend is so superficial as to want to push you to do a medical procedure that has risks (all of the medical procedures have risks, all of them) for absolutely no reason that his aesthetic satisfaction, think if he really cares about you, your health, and your bodily autonomy. Yes of course that if you want to do the procedure because it benefits you and you are in anguish if you don't do it, do it… but not for the selfish reasons of a man who can't just watch porn and call it a day.
I wonder if she can she put a lien on his property?
She needs a lawyer of her own – for sure.
I wouldn’t bother confronting him.
I’d find someone else who puts me first.
Cold shoulder him so he feels uncomfortable around you?
Yeah I think it depends on their personality and quality time by people. If I had to leave home regularly and if they weren’t a very independent type I’d feel sad.
He thought the mother of his child should have a nice place to on-line and to not disturb their daughter, that’s his choice has nothing to do with you and is not your business.
I don't think she can dilly dally in any way – there are time limits on when one can abort, after all.
I'm sorry you went through with a Brazilian and he didn't notice or care. Have you had an honest conversation with him asking why?
My fiancée is an alt guy. I am not so much -I’m a therapist- every relationship I’ve had before him was with a Marine (just happened that way, but clearly I had a type I guess). I can honestly say this is the best and healthiest relationship I have ever had or even thought was realistic. But we ended up together because we had so much in common and just naturally had great convos, had fun together, shared interests and activities, etc. You just seek someone you go great with regardless of any labels or subcultures. The more you hang out with people in that subculture, the more likely you’ll find someone there you really click with.
The real question is where are the police!?
Sounds like they wanted to be together but suggested the 4some to prevent looking like cheaters. They never dreamed their spouses would actually get anything out of it. Now they’re butthurt.
Ironically probably ending both marriages.
From the comments it sounds like HPV isn’t as scary as some of the other STIs, but that’s beside the point. The point is she had ample opportunity – including when you were literally discussing sexual health – to disclose this, and chose not to until after having unprotected sex. That’s super weird. The severity of the infection doesn’t matter, it’s about the lack of honesty and also a bit of strange manipulation of the situation going on there.
Where does it say he knew she had the kids?
Intelligence means very little in the real world.
99% of the time effort will bring real world success over theoretical potential.
IQ is meaningless outside of an academic setting, and plenty of MENSA members are morons.
I can assure you there are plenty of things in life (perhaps that he hasn’t encountered yet) that he struggles understanding. Don’t judge yourself on the things that you see him good at.
That’s a good point.