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20 if you think that I am cute, squirt with fuck machine at goal, follow me on instagram and twitter @duque_20_7 [713 tokens remaining]
Date: October 23, 2022
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Say “I did nothing but what you’re doing right now is very wrong, goodbye” then leave. You don’t need to prove anything
I feel like a zoo keeper/ employee sometimes.
He can laugh at it because he isn’t effected by it and he is incapable of extending enough empathy to you to even understand why you’re upset. The biggest red flag here is that he got offended when you expressed your concerns. Laughing at a misogynist, racist, homophobe, etc. is a huge red flag especially if he isn’t accepting of your feedback or can’t apologize after being called out.
My husband has my password and I leave my phone laying around the house, he’s privy to look anytime, same for me. The only time (from reading some posts) that it’s an issue is the fact that there is something nefarious going on.
Toss her to the curb , next
Get in there son!
thank you for your suggestions!! good luck to you. hope you find peace?
Oh yeah, if her fingers are small then a 4ct would look insane. You can look up and/or show her charts of finger coverage by carat weight or even look up her size finger with 2 carat emerald cut to get a good visual of what it will look like as well. That’s what I did before we chose either of the stones we went with.
You need to move to a different neighborhood! People are normally scared of being homophobic due to consequences for being homophobic.
Because of this, I would break up with him. Otherwise I would say he must defend your honor and never speak to this girl again. But because of this comment, I say break up.
No way. She can move in as a tenant and you can work out a rental agreement or whatever or she can live elsewhere. Do not put anyone you aren't committed to for life on the house you own. It's insane to consider anything else.
What advice is there to give? It sounds like you've done everything you should.
Updateme!
Why are you with such a grinch? Do you think it is possible his heart will ever grow three times bigger?
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Sounds like a loser
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Gahd I hate this fad that men are supposed to just bend over backwards when a woman doesn't even say so. So popularized by social media. He loves you enough to deal with this dumb shit and if that ain't enough get lost. All this “get me cheetos” at 3 am crap needs to stop. If you're going to compare your relationship to others you see on social media your an idiot. Not saying that is op just had to say it. To op I say just ask or tell a guy what is going on he isn't a mind reader… that I know of.
You don’t know how their family dynamic works and frankly you don’t even know if he’s ever been kind in any of his approaches.
Pretty much means what he said, so don't bee surprised if he starts “wandering” when you hit 31
I 24F am in a age gap relationship (he’s 43M). You’re going to likely always be met with people being funny when you tell them the age difference. My dad was initially against it, mum had no problem and my brother worked with him so he was fine too. Once my dad met him he really enjoyed his company, I brought him to our Christmas lunch with all the extended family and he was a big hit and everyone liked him. If he’s a good person then once they’ve met him I’m sure it’ll be no problem. My man is the kindest guy I’ve ever met and his family are amazing too, there will naturally be times where the age gap will get in the way so definitely be prepared for that?
I’m sorry that he’s using you, you don’t deserve that. Any grown man who isn’t ready to live with a woman isn’t ready to be a husband.
The reason I came to reddit was because I don't know if I want to tell anyone that I know. I don't have any really close friends except for maybe my sister but my husband has always made it clear that he doesn't want me talking to anyone else about our relationship problems as it can cause more conflict. I'm going to ask him if he has told K about her mother before I say anything to her.
Sounds like y’all are incompatible. I would probs end it my man. If sex isn’t her thing, and it’s something you want, it’s not gonna work. Especially if y’all are early on in the relationship. It’ll only become less and less over time
OP is Ross Geller
Listen if you don’t want advice you should t come to this sub lol
What? Who dictates this lmao. I drink like once every other month. Last time it was cause some gifted me whiskey, woke up on a saturday and had a shot. Why does it matter the time of day lol. Unless this guys about to drive into work after breakfast.
Also, Bulgaria is a known hub for human trafficking in the Eastern Europe.
Dude probably walked in there, speaking the right lingo with his favorite girl's name: “Ummm… is Bambi available for a half an half? Is that still $150?”
Yeah I definitely feel as though it was him going outside the relationship. While it’s not directly physically cheating, I view it as cheating. We just had a long long conversation about it all.
Thank you
Second this. I think it’s something that will just breed resentment over time.
Don’t let him waste your youth. I don’t know anything about you but you may still enjoy the party scene and a much older man may have “been there done that.” My oldest son is not as old as your BF but my son prefers to date younger men (at least 21) and that is his biggest complaint.
I guess it depends who you ask. My boyfriend has never cared about my sexual history and I’ve never cared about his, aside from knowing what he likes and wants to try. I think it would actually be kind of rude if I went on and on about my previous sexual partners… gives me a weird vibe. But to each their own
Stay if you want her to keep cheating on you and losing more respect for you.
Well you certainly won’t have any kind of equality if you do this. You can expect to now have only a portion of whatever emotional and physical relationship you had before and it only gets worse if there are multiple partners. Plus you are the one partner she has that has all the baggage of. A normal relationship and household meaning you will not be the “fun” one so she will find even more reason to see the other partners. Holy fuck man !
Ok I give up. I’m out
Your sex life doesn't have to have anything to do with building a family.
Just keep the communication with your husband going.
Turn him in. Fuck that.
i use one hand to hold the phone and type
His reaction to you changing your mind indicates to me that hes already cheated prior to asking about an open relationship. Good luck.
I disagree with your first statement. Death makes life not worth living
Yep, never going into polyamory.
OP, actions have consequences. That doesn’t mean tear yourself apart into nothing. It means your bf is free to decide as he pleases based on your actions and his boundaries.
Whatever happens, be kind and be truthful to yourself and to him. And seek to better in the future whether with him or, if it comes to it, with others.
Again, the lack of empathy. Maybe because it doesn't happen to you a lot so you think it's an innocent greeting.
It could be an innocent greeting, or it could be not. Thing is, women have no idea to tell a man's intention. If a woman gets scared that much by a man, she likely has reasons for that, whether it's objectively true or not. It's better to misjudge a good man than to misjudge a bad man.
It's the way many women live and protect themselves. It's really annoying to see people dismissing women's concern for their safety as paranoia.
She sounds 'exhausting' because it's exhausting to online as a woman sometimes.
no it’s not fine, you are really uneducated in that topic, it is definitely not fine. Please educate yourself more. Do you know how damaging it is when you take hormones or do bottom surgerey? There's no going back, you'll never be the same again if you regret it.
2/3. yeah like i said, you always felt like a woman but how does a woman feel? Can you explain to me how a woman should feel? How is it being a woman? What even is a woman? „Everyone feels different“ how can you feel like a woman?
His ex and the mutual friend described him as immature and it is likely he may want a wife for the social aspect as marriage is seen as a big “necessity ” in our culture. He said he was loyal and wanted to make it work, but the ex was reluctant and wanted divorce for years. He wanted kids but she didn’t want kids with him…
It sounded like the marriage to his ex benefited him more than her, that he got support establishing himself and sounds like he understands marriage needed priority. Because his financially ok he gets a lot of women interested but I think he wants the creme of the crop.
I have never experienced loss like yours, but I also think you need therapy. I'm really glad you found someone you love and who seems to love your kids. Love isn't finite, there doesn't need to be a first and second. Your first love in undoubtedly special, and it's different than your other loves, but different doesn't mean less than.
I think you need to release yourself from your guilt of moving on; nobody here is the bad guy, Emily's death was unnecessary and tragic and I hope the person responsible was punished. Claire sounds amazing, and not many people would be as understanding. Do you five do anything to honor and acknowledge Emily and Claire's late husband? A memorial on their birthdays or something like that? A ritual honoring and remembering them might be helpful for you. Regardless, I think Claire is correct, that you need therapy. It's also neither healthy or helpful to say Claire didn't love her late husband because people grieve differently – that sounds like misplaced anger.
I wish all of you well.
It's unclear why she thinks this is acceptable. But you've just discovered and you and she are incompatible on this issue. This means you either accept this behavior or you end the relationship. You can't demand someone change their moral code. You can only decide if what they are is what you want.
That was crossing the line, tbf. The whole kissing her forehead, holding her close and even rubbing her leg.
My boyfriend isn’t an emotional person, and there’s been a time before I really needed him and he wasn’t there for me at all, but that’s beside the point.
The less savory part of my mind had the assumption that your bf had a crush on your roommate and use that chance to basically be physically close to her (seeing that the reason is her cat died) and she can't say 'no' or think 'weirdly' on it.
I would tell him that you are surprised at his gentleness and intimate gestures toward your roommate when she's in pain versus when you're in pain and how he was not there for you at all. Bring it up on that comparison, instead of thinking that you're insecure, etc. Everyone has some sort of insecurity, but I think if your partner can't support you and be gentle with you but more than happy to provide with another person…yeah, it is a red flag.
Maybe not broken but redefining what love means to you. If your past relationships’ sparks were toxic flames, you may be looking past what sparks are there now.
When you’re used to turmoil, everything else feels dull until you learn how to see things from a different vantage point.
You didn’t describe much in the sparks department but you also said he’s your best friend and you seem to have a solid partnership dynamic and that alone is gold. Make sure both of you understand your own, and each other’s, needs and what your expectations are. If you’re in agreement, keep doing what you’re doing.
Okay but you haven't said a single good thing about him, but wrote an essay about how he's horrible to live with and be with…
…are there any good things? Why are you even with him?
Late start for me (and singly the OP too). I've used the L word with two romantic partners. One was the woman I met at age 24 who's now my ex wife, and the other is my current girlfriend I met at age 45, who I'll be moving in with in June.
And yes, there absolutely is a better life, and one doesn't need to be anchored to someone incompatible.
When he stops you stop. Time for him to get you done first if this is the case. His want to get to himself will hopefully help him focus lol.
Agreed. I just hope she does have a conversation with me where we might work it out.
If she is really your ex you don’t need to justify anything, or even talk to her. You don’t get to be “close friends” with an ex if they try to control you. Remind her that it’s over. Then stop spending time with her. Stop talking to her. Live your life.
What do you want moving forward?
You mean just like everyone is calling him controlling?
I think it’s a compatibility thing, not an age thing.
It almost sounds like you’re defining her in your mind, thereby making up your mind about her instead talking to her about these things. Would she compromise? If she did compromise, would you? Would it matter since you still think you’d prefer a younger woman?
At the end though, forget the trips, status, and age. If you know she “really wants kids” and that you are not ready, then you should break up with her.
Block her. Best friends don’t act the way she’s been treating you.
Dump him first
OP you need an abundance mentality. Stop putting people on a pedestal after 1 meeting.
I think the best thing you can do is insist on therapy. She could have postpartum depression. It's very common and nothing to be ashamed of. Having outside perspective can be more helpful than hearing from a loved one because we feel like they sugar coat things to protect is. Therapy would also help you learn to support her in a constructive way.
Someone already said the comment isn't helpful or on topic but I disagree, I think it's relevant and speaks to your husband's character. My parents had a similar age difference and my mom had a similar age difference to my two older sisters (who are technically my half sisters); my mom was essentially my dad's childbride (she was 20 when they got together) that he married to raise the two daughters he already had full custody of (in 1990 mind you so if that tells you anything about what their mother is like). At some point during my 20's I realized how fucked up it was and my older sisters recall being extremely embarrassed about having a creep for a dad and it affected their relationship a lot.
Tell him you will be going with him to check out the cars. If he says nope you tell him then he is not going because you know his plan is to also meet up with his ex and if he does go without you he need not come back.
What meantime? Put less pressure on yourself. You hardly know him.
Oh my bad, from your post, it sounded like you were dating for a year and a half.
Can you call someone you love to talk, OP? You seem really isolated and it’s naked to make a strong decision in that state. I was in a similar state during COVID and will regret forever not reaching out to the people who love me and knew me. Talk to people who remind you who you are and that you have people who aren’t him in your life too, even if they’re far away.